ApexNomad

I hear you, and I’m not saying your attraction isn’t real or valid—people are drawn to what they’re drawn to. But I think it’s worth examining why masculinity is often seen as more “authentic” in straight men versus gay men. Masculinity isn’t something that only straight men inherently possess, nor is it something that gay men have to perform or belong to as part of a “subculture.” There are plenty of gay men who are naturally masculine without it being a “show.” I think the bigger issue is how society conditions us to view certain traits as more desirable when they’re associated with straightness. But at the end of the day, attraction is personal, and as long as it’s not rooted in shame or invalidating others, people are free to have their preferences. I just think it’s important to question where those preferences come from sometimes.

I hope you feel better!❤️‍🩹

There’s a lot to unpack here, but the core issue seems to be the idea that being attracted to “straight” men is somehow more natural or universal among gay men than being attracted to other gay men. That’s simply not true. Yes, many gay men have had crushes on unattainable straight guys growing up, but that’s often because we lacked representation and safe spaces to explore our desires. That doesn’t mean all of us fetishize straightness into adulthood or see it as an ideal. The real issue with “straight guy” fetishization isn’t about individual preference—people are attracted to different things, and that’s perfectly fine—but about the way it can reinforce internalized homophobia. Elevating straightness as the ultimate form of masculinity suggests that being openly gay makes someone less desirable, which is a toxic mindset rooted in shame. It also plays into a broader cultural problem where queer men are often expected to diminish or hide parts of themselves to be seen as attractive. As for the escort argument, marketing is about selling a fantasy, and “straight” sells because of lingering stigmas about gayness, not because it’s some universal truth about attraction. The idea that most gay men prefer “straight” men is a broad generalization that erases the many men who love and desire other gay men without apology. At the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their preferences, but it’s worth asking—do those preferences come from an authentic place, or are they shaped by cultural bias and internalized messaging?

I’m honestly not following the flow of this conversation based on what was previously said—it doesn’t quite make sense to me. Maybe I’m missing something, but that’s okay. Any health questions are best discussed with one’s medical professional.

You’re already a rockstar, Oakman!

I read your message twice, and to me, it seems to suggest that someone who isn’t having frequent sex doesn’t need to take PrEP and could instead use DoxyPep as an “as needed” approach. Am I understanding that correctly?

Smoking, straight, and only does BJs—how much more evidence do you need to rule this one out, Your Honor.

You could say something like: “Hey, I love animals, but I prefer a pet-free experience during our time together. Would it be possible to have them in another room? Also, I’m a bit sensitive to strong pet odors, so I just wanted to check in about that upfront. Thank you.” This keeps it respectful while making your needs clear. This is YOUR time. Most will and should understand, but if they get defensive, that’s a sign they’re probably not the right fit.

Hi, Simon: Did he just check out your profile, or did he actually engage? If you’re looking to connect for mutual fun or business and have interest, I’d ask for a FaceTime call to verify. Match the profile to the face.

Leaving a review of your experience is one thing, but the age-shaming at the end is both unnecessary and revealing. Attraction is subjective, but making broad, dismissive statements about older gay men has nothing to do with reviewing the provider. Reducing attraction to age and gym attendance is not only shallow but laughably naive—especially in a space where people also pay for chemistry. If you need to put others down to justify why you “clicked,” maybe the connection wasn’t as deep as you think.

I can’t believe this thread is 3 pages. Why don’t they pick up? BECAUSE THEY’RE BUSY! Either with a client, buying groceries, or taking a shit. If they don’t pick up and you feel so aggrieved, find another one.

If you haven’t established yourself with this provider before and are jumping straight into an overnight that is to occur months from now, he might be hesitant —justifiably so—about whether it will actually happen. Just ask! Ask directly for a quote so you can plan accordingly. Or, suggest a quick FaceTime call to confirm everything. That way, he can see you’re serious, and you can get a better read on whether he’s someone you want to spend an overnight with.

Why? I believe there are psychological and fantasy-driven elements as to why some clients seek out “straight” providers. There’s a perception (whether accurate or not) that straight men embody a more traditional, unfiltered masculinity. Some clients may see that as more attractive or dominant. There’s the taboo factor. The idea of “turning” a straight guy, or at least being desirable enough to make him cross a boundary, is a common fantasy. It plays into power dynamics and the thrill of the forbidden. There’s the ego boost and validation. Some clients may feel more validated if they can attract or seduce a straight man, as if it confirms their own desirability. I would surmise that for some clients, straight providers may bring a different vibe compared to openly gay providers, sometimes less performative or more detached, which can be appealing to certain clients. (Though I’ve had a few “gay” providers that were equally detached.) Clients who seek out straight providers may also do so to prevent any potential for emotional connection.

And straight providers are less reckless because?

If the experience was so disappointing, where they were disengaged, on their phones, and one even left to shower, why would the person still engage in a face fuck at the very end?

It’s a terrible and unconscionable thing if a provider lies about their health status (and vice versa). You could ask questions, but they might still deceive you and lie. What you can do is protect yourself with the tools available and think with the head above your neck.

And I hope she and her accent get better.

Not the first word that comes to mind when I see him. He seems to have a penchant for changing his name often—I wouldn’t get too attached to it.

Hard to justify locking in for longer when the yield curve is this inverted. It usually signals economic uncertainty or expectations that interest rates will decline in the future.

Was the name Jack Thick already taking?

Yes you do. You want to blame everyone but yourself. PS, you have the worst fucking therapist. Get a new one.

The writing here is just superb. The level of shade, as the young ones call it, is a different level. This scene never grows old.

Pluto TV has Dynasty.

You’re being kind.

You think you offer value, but clearly, something isn’t translating. Attraction and connection aren’t just about what you believe you bring to the table—it’s about how others perceive and experience you. If no one is sticking around, then either your self-perception isn’t matching reality, or you’re fixated on people who don’t want what you offer. Either way, the issue starts and ends with you.