PhileasFogg

The risk is low with an undetectable top even if the bottom is not on prep. U=U But then, I’m a top

It is what you feel it to be but it is profound either way My mother was not a particularly inspirational or intellectual person. When she died, written in her hand writing, I found a note by her chair saying “strength in body, courage in spirit, patience in pain” That was written for me to read in that moment.

Me too, like sailors of old, I like to keep an ounce of gold on me to pay for a basic pine box and burial 😀🤪 I’m sure that’s what he’s thinking too 😇

no fever for me...but the line at Circle K when I was driving home from New Orleans yesterday was pretty long. All for the cashier and none for automated checkout. Didn't look like they needed to be wasting any money either

Are you suggesting his hissy fit related to homosexual acts? But yes, I have had some guys on a first visit too their political hand. There’s usually not a second time. I have one regular who clearly has socialist leanings. Given his past, I completely understand why he feels as he does. We have good give/take discussions with both of us asserting positions, supporting them, and not calling the other stupid.

And this is not limited merely to Christians 😉. I’ll make the bold assertion that a “real” Christian is more likely to share what they believe and why - rather than tell you you’re wrong. But members of this forum are more likely to encounter people who weaponize religion to peddle hate. They aren’t real Christians

Since we are beating an off topic dead horse, no, not true. But if you’d like to discuss it more, please just PM me to keep this post on topic What I’d really like to know is how @Tiredsoul is feeling. He’s had a range of feedback from us, he knows his situation (and fears) best, and knows what’s best for him. My encouragement to him is to not let fear limit options since, if he does, the worst case scenario remains a possibility, if not now, then later.

Hence my use of the words “ask yourself honestly - if he did share it, would it be truly life altering, or would it mainly cause embarrassment” 🤨 Based on you response, I’m guessing we agree that it’s more nuanced than binary. But I stand by every word I said, but only he can decide. But if he chooses timidity, then the power dynamic never shifts ETA: for many years, my employment contract included, among other things, a moral turpitude clause. I’m highly confident that this would not meet that standard. Simply put, unless he’s a minister, this probably doesn’t affect his capacity to perform. I’d also note, having been divorced twice, that at least 1/3 of the states are true no-fault and the court wouldn’t be concerned with extra curricular activities. So, again, only @Tiredsoulcan decide where he should land, but as his name implies, he’s exhausted and needs a break from the status quo. Sometimes if you can’t find your way out of the maze, you have to go in deeper to get out

No, that would be him looking down on my head 😂

First, I’m sorry you’re having to confront this. What’s happening to you is unfair, manipulative, and wrong. Second, there’s a power dynamic here. As long as you fear him revealing information to your family or employer, he holds the leverage. Ask yourself honestly: if he did share it, would it truly be life-altering, or would it mainly cause embarrassment? If it’s the latter, remember that embarrassment fades—and when you no longer fear that outcome, you take away his power. Third, consider the legal angle. If his threats involve physical harm, a restraining order may be appropriate. If they are purely about exposing information, then ask: what does he want? If he’s demanding something in exchange for silence, that fits the definition of extortion or blackmail—both serious crimes that law enforcement can act on. That shifts the leverage back to you Finally, about blocking him: if you believe he might actually carry out threats, cutting off contact removes visibility into his escalation. Strategically, it can be useful to keep communication open—not to engage with him, but to let him incriminate himself. Every message could give you the evidence you need for action. And remember, you always keep the choice of whether to respond or stay silent

I know guys who do porn and they are tested before each shoot.

I promise - we can debate shades of blond but his 🍆 is exactly as described

Blonde is a spectrum. Dirty blonde, strawberry blonde, dark blond, platinum blond. I’ve spent every moment with this young man for three days. To me he’s blond. Like the age shaving debate - LET IT GO - if you like what you see, go for it. If not, move on…but don’t pillory anyone for ticks on a spectrum. edited to add: I’m looking down at the top of his head right now 😳🤭🫣. HE’s BLONDE

I will note that photos are deceiving. Every one taken of me shows a guy who’s short, chubby and losing his hair! What’s with that! That’s not what I see😉

@purplekow met him with me over drinks last night. He’s smooth He's off the charts sweet He’s incredibly bright He is very sensual And he’s every centimeter of 8 inches of perfection Here he is at Joshua Tree today

I’ve been with him since Thursday night and he’s a keeper!

…but tonight I actually had drinks with one good meeting you @purplekow!

I reached out to him once without a response. But I was asking him to travel 100 miles for an overnight with me. If I wasn’t in Palm Springs this weekend, I would have reached out to visit him in New Orleans

I believe much of the data I posted is ‘23 and sooner. Looking forward to seeing you tonight for drinks 😉

Estimated HIV risk per exposure | aidsmap WWW.AIDSMAP.COM What are chances of getting HIV? This page gives HIV transmission rates associated with vaginal, anal...

You are discounting the impact of exercising care and vetting partners. The probability of transmission between an undetectable partner abd a partner not on prep is 0. So as Jethro Bodine would say “naught times naught is naught” 😉 But even if you assume some incremental risk, say .5%, the cumulative non linear risk is tiny. Sorry I’m on a plane without a calculator. I’m not disputing what you say. It looks like a lot over time when you use 1%, but when you use the actual probability, it’s infinitesimally small

I don’t think it works that way. The per-act risk doesn’t simply accumulate linearly — probabilities compound differently, and repeated exposures don’t guarantee infection even though the overall risk increases. Not all probabilities are cumulative in the way you describe.

I wasn’t exploring men at the time. But I had dinner with a friend who was with the LVPD at the time. He said it’s a scam. They would have spiked my drink with visine to trigger diarrhea and would have rolled me for all my cash and left me on the sidewalk with my pants around my ankles

Interestingly, we are in violent agreement. I often share (and require) recent proof of status if it’s someone I don’t know well. If they’re on ART, they have been tested recently and will have it. But still U=U, truthfulness is a different issue. You assume they’re lying, I’m simply verifying they’re telling the truth. From my view, as a top, the data is out there showing that the risk of a top getting HIV from a + bottom is still very low. Plus I have prep, doxy (which I’ve never been inclined to use yet), and I’m picky (I’m not professing pickiness is reliable though)

As opposed to Frankenstein style unnatural looking enhancements?