PhileasFogg

Honestly, I felt neither confident nor at ease until I took charge of protecting my own health. I don’t disagree with you, but for those new in this space, there’s a lot of unknowns and anxiety about this.

update: I’m going to plan a trip to PS sooner than later. But for this one, we decided to stick with Island House. In 110 years, KW has had 6 Sept hurricanes. That doesn’t mean a distant one won’t screw up the weather, but we shall see.

put boobs on it and you described my first wife…15 years later and we are friends again. In other words, it gets easier each day to move on

🙋🏻 me…no need to lie. The truth always becomes obvious if you do. Just avoid the crap and tell the truth. Life’s easier that way

If it ruined your day, it’s because you allowed it too. I’m not trying to be snarky, but I’d encourage you to own your own happiness and don’t let forces beyond your control determine it for you. 30 yrs ago, that stuff bothered me. In my 60’s, not so much. Everything goes in cycles. It’s like the weather - if you don’t like it, it’ll change.

I’m not far ahead of your experience - say by 18 mo. Also bi and twice divorced So much is about chemistry. Stick with it, experiment with different guys and you’ll know when you’re ready to advance to different things and with whom. Well into the process, I can say two or three guys took my experience and my confidence to new levels. I’m a top and my first intercourse was very spontaneous with a yoga instructor doing an upper plank and sliding down on me. A couple of others multiplied my confidence and the rest is history. You’ll find those great guys and you’ll find some duds along the way too. I encourage you to view it as a journey. You may also consider getting on PReP and having some Doxy handy if needed.

Mommy, who’s Dean Cain?👶🏻

@SomethingFun, I’m glad you’re dealing with it. After 20 yrs of marriage, I learned my first wife had developed a secret life on the side and refused to be transparent. It wasn’t what she might have been doing that I couldn’t accept, it was the opaqueness Marriage has become easy. But divorce is not. You’ve seen the light and cut bait early. CONGRATULATIONS on owning your destiny.

I didn't mean to offend, but I'll also note that I was repeating what they tell me. I'm not trying to suggest it's a competition

So @purplekow, is it your belief that it’s our bisexuality that contributes to our tight assed disposition or something else? For me, it feels more physiological (although I’d never deny a psychological component) In preparation for the few attempts I’ve made, I actually went to a lot of trouble to try to “train” myself with no success. One very patient and trustworthy young man stayed rock hard for 30 mins barely getting the tip in and in his charming Australian accent finally said “nope, you’re just a top mate!” @Jamie21, I think my “total bottom” friends would say it’s not harder to bottom. Some of them have even described themselves as “lazy.” But I’ll tell you what, they seem to love it. In every case, they are not bisexual. For those of us on the left side of the pond - “faff” means “to waste time on unnecessary or tedious tasks, or it can describe the tedious and time-consuming nature of a task itself. In essence, it describes a situation or activity that is more complicated, difficult, or time-consuming than expected, often involving minor annoyances or fuss” 🤓. I think it’s going to be my “word of the day” all week 🥸

@purplekow, your story is my story. I tried a few times out of curiosity, and I’m done trying.

You know, before you changed your name from AtlTopGuy, you were the one on the attack. Don’t you deflect and gaslight We all simply focused on the positives about the guys you attacked. Call it like it is, but don’t deflect. I don’t think you know what mean girl is, but you clearly need affirmation Edited to ask: have you ever said anything positive about anybody here? Hell, when this post came up, you and two others were the poster children in my view

Sorry, I misunderstood

Regular phone. I have nothing to hide and I want anyone I contact to feel comfortable. I’ve never had a problem and if I do, I’ll deal with it 🤌🏼

My opinion is that if you look at a picture of some who - let’s say - is REALLY 25, but LOOKS 40. Are you going forward just because of his age? To me, we read a number and we see a picture…we make a decision based on what we see, not what we read People are smart enough. Age is a number. If they don’t look what the say and you don’t like what you see, move on. But, if you don’t believe the number and you do like what you see, you’re probably going to move forward. Right?

Good point. It’s hotter in September in Palm Springs vs Key West. But the humidity is incredibly low

I have a trip planned with a companion in five weeks to The Island House in Key West. Current tropical forecasts are iffy on how that might go with a higher than average incidence expected for named storms. So, we are considering a gay/clothing optional resort in Palm Springs instead? Are they comparable destinations? I love the bohemian vibe of Key West. Does PS have that? If you favor PS, recommendations on resorts and/or location? I’ve read other posts here, but some are dated and I’d appreciate as much current insight that anyone can offer

As noted in the triangular theory, it’s Romantic Love. but as @JayCeeKy previously noted, it comes with the same dopamine triggers. The connection you’ve described is exactly what I seek in guys I see a second time (or more). Personally, I prefer to think of it more like friends with benefits. I’ve evolved to focusing on a small circle of guys that are dependable, whose presence I enjoy, with physical compatibility. The fact that I happen to have wealth and they seek to build wealth is a one of the mutual benefits in the interaction. (And I use “interaction” very intentionally)

As Donny Osmond said “ one bad Apple don’t spoil the whole orchard” you can still block folks if you choose

I don’t pay for sex, I pay for time. My charming personality 👹 and awesome 🍆 are the spark that triggers the possibility of sex. 😉 The platforms noted above offer a lots of skanks (kind of like the Wild West) and they tend to favor youth . They’re also platforms of opportunity where scheduling time can’t be planned like an appointment.

I wish I could rebut your position, but what happened was indeed unacceptable. And I’m sorry he treated you, and others, like he did

You’ll know it if you experience it

AMEN! There’s two types of guys here, those who seek providers as commodities and those who don’t. “Connection” doesn’t exist in commodity mindset. I don’t say that to judge, because everyone has a different need. But for me, I will not allow myself to be criticized when I express that every interaction is not just an act - but I also acknowledge that boundaries are still necessary. LIFE is 15,000 shades of grey….and beautiful paintings have been painted with grey.

You’re definitely on a roll! @azdr0710, why don’t you contact Budd and ask him?

No, but once I had a guy blurt out “I Love You” in the middle of a session. We did have a really good chemistry and he’d sent some signals that made me wonder before that. Things became awkward after that. But a little level set might be warranted to define “what is love?” According to Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, there are three dimensions to Consummate Love: Passion, Commitment, and Intimacy. I think humans often confuse hitting on one or two of those with love. Personally, I’m not looking for anything with a Commitment, but I need to “like” someone I have a physical connection with (that’s Passion and Intimacy aka “Romantic Love” where I think someone might think they “love” an escort…when in fact you’re closer to friends w/benefits). In the experience above, I had to turn down the “intimacy” a notch with the guy to be sure things didn’t heat up for him. so, the answer to your question for me is “no” But I seek a small number of guys that I can both like and be physically attracted to