PhileasFogg

I spent several days in Iceland recently. I’ve never hired a travel agent but these plans overwhelmed me so I did. I highly recommend PinkIceland I gave them a goal and a budget and they did not disappoint. The online itinerary made details idiot proof for me and I knew exactly when to check out, when to get in the car to drive somewhere, and where I should eat.

While I deviate from topic, one of the owners of my travel agency - PinkIceland - gave us a walking tour of Reykjavik last week. He spoke of the history of the queer movement in Iceland, rooted in sympathy for AIDS victims, and evolving to 1/3 of the country turning out for their annual Pride Events. He said that the first pride parade had about 400 in attendance, the next year 12,000 (~2012??), and then 100,000 the following year. The country only has about 320,000 residents.

Iceland has a lesbian prime minister. Apparently, it wasn’t until after the election that they realized they’d elected the first lesbian. It was just no big deal and no one even thought about that as an “issue” for discussion.

Mint boys is a low rent lower quality version of RM

Well, then you might want to check your number on Mr Number? It’s a choice each of us has to make, but personally, I’d prefer to be criticized first for being kind rather than a jerk. BUT, be sure that, if someone hustles me and refuses to make it right, then I’m capable of responding in kind if I choose. Maybe there are some therapists among us, but might not the concept of “Projective Identification” apply in the response @FaustOust might exoect to receive?

Oak Grove is a very rural area in the edge of Fort Campbell (101st Airborne). Strikes me as an odd place for such drama.

Is it just me or is there a visible evolution in his appearance between the 2024 pictures and the 2025 uploads?

Yeah, I think that’s the excuse I used first time I got laid in HS 🥸😂😉

I spoke with him based on the strength of @jusmeinbr’s recommendation. I was inquiring about travel and his present circumstances limit him to Austin and Houston.

At the beginning of the year, I had one provider in New Orleans (who has traveled to Vegas often) hustle me with the “I’m about to be evicted”,” I need a tire for my car to come visit you” stories. I think people believe he’s credible because he was featured on a podcast a year or two ago and therefore “good at what he does” It’s a shame because when he’s “on” he’s “ON” But when his demons are in control, it’s Jekyll and Hyde Yes, I assisted Yes, I regret it Yes, while I would rather be criticized for the mistakes I make rooted in goodness rather than malevolence, I will never get snookered again by him or others My starting criteria for 2026 (as noted in another post) are maturity, education, and no drugs. While I avoid judging people and rarely “write them off,” I don’t have to get pulled into the cesspool with them.

I’ve just learned that the time atop the profile icon is the last time they logged on to RM. I ERRANTLY thought that it was the last time they viewed my profile…and VERY wrong assumption

To clarify for all - in my OP, the comment is directed to an absence of kindness and civility from clients who treat providers poorly and not vice versa

I have been tricked or disappointed by more than one, but while I may have adjusted my tactics accordingly, I think I treat all with respect in our time together.

Looking at your profile, it’s good to see that you’re marketing yourself as more than just a big…ahem…and able you use the word “y’all” as the more precise and efficient substitute for the plural of “you” preferred in highbrow circles. 🤓

Having just returned from a week in Iceland with a well reviewed young man, I’ve made a stop off to visit another regular before returning home. Both of these men are mutli year advertisers on RM and well reviewed. Anecdotally, we’ve all been hearing that client traffic has been reduced in recent months. But in interactions with these guys, I’m also hearing that kind and polite clients are more rare and that more encounters are with downright rude and mean men. to the providers: is this something you’re seeing? to the clients: are you finding that we are more jaundiced toward providers - perhaps because of our experiences with a small number of bad actors - and therefore leaving civility behind? what am I missing?

Average is when it’s on someone else Well Endowed is when it’s on you 🤪

Fair enough. In a twist, I’ve had some who quoted less than I’m accustomed to paying. In those cases, I paid the customary rate if they exceeded my expectation. That’s a form of tip But, in general, I think tipping culture is getting whacky right now.

I know I’m not the intended respondent, but I’m not accustomed to seeing reference to the practice of tipping directed to the self employed…how common is the practice?

I have found few unwilling to discuss these things and - since I’m a data guy, I find the discussion engaging.

I agree with you @buckguy on communication. While I see that as a subset of both maturity and intelligence, it probably does more to destroy an encounter if you have to go days wondering if it’s going to happen. last week, I was ghosted on a planned encounter in Philly. After four days of ghosting and a no show, I sent this: ”Hey XXXXX, I hope you’re okay — I haven’t heard from you since we confirmed plans, and I just want to make sure nothing’s wrong. If I somehow said or did something that put you off, that wasn’t my intention. I really was looking forward to seeing you, and once I knew you were in town I turned down other plans. I don’t expect an explanation, but ghosting someone after confirming plans isn’t cool. A quick message would’ve gone a long way. Still, I hope all’s well on your end, and I’ll not bother you further.” His response the next day (as I was on a train for NYC) did nothing to assuage the fact that I’ll never contact him again (we’ve met before): “Hey [Phileas], i apologize for ghosting you, something personal happened and i isolated myself and ignored my phone for a while, i know that this is not an excuse since i could’ve send you a quick message. Im ok and you dont have to worry about me, Its definitely not about you and im sorry again for ghosting you after we made plans, im not the kind of person who does that. I really enjoyed our time together when we first met btw, i was looking forward to seeing you again. I hope you and your family are healthy and doing well!”

I think I’ll be reaching out to Dmitry!

There are endless opportunities for conversation in my experience. It is funny though. Yesterday, my guest and I went snorkeling between the tectonic plates in 35° temps. He indulged me in that side trip with apprehension. He LOVED it! As an accommodation to him embracing the plan, I made sure we were covering every thermal lagoon we could fit in. We also did a 6 mile hike to get inside a volcano. My 60+ yr old a$$ was the oldest in the group and nothing slowed us down. We talked the whole time and enjoyed interacting with the other hikers. If you view this arrangement as travel companionship with side benefits, it usually makes the side benefits more gratifying for each of you.

As I wind up my planning for the year (I have weekend trips scheduled with guys for five of the remaining 10 weekends), I’m reflecting on how my criteria for choice has evolved throughout 2025. Since many know I’ve favored younger men (not exclusively) and weekend engagements, I find that my focus has evolved from physical attributes and whether I think we will be compatible (based on a video call before I schedule a weekend) to the following: 1) Maturity (that’s not just about age, but also attitude) 2) Not just smart but educated or getting educated (gives a broader perspective) 3) Drug Free (to avoid drama) If the aesthetic is right, I don’t think that my experience will be good with out those additional criteria. What are the criteria you use?

I’ll add that I’m currently ona week long trip with an RM that many know well (but he prefers to maintain low profile - hence nameless) We are in Iceland. We planned the trip together over the last six weeks. We blended our short list, I gave it to an Icelandic Gay Travel Agency and they made nearly all of it happen.

I encourage you to act as though you’re his host giving him opportunity to short list some things that he’d like to do and involve him in the dinner reservation choices.