Occasional

Yep, men always playing a role that they think they need to play, through having learned it, feeling conditioned by society / religion / family to play it. Hiring can give them an opportunity to be their real selves for a while and maybe start to learn that skill to take outside of the session.
I think of it as ‘You want to be your real self? Whatever that is? Ok let’s take our clothes off because they are masking you. Let’s drop our guards by communicating without words because they are loaded with judgment and meaning. Let’s use a primal human need like sex (and touch, and intimacy) to let go of all the labels and roles and judgments. How does that feel? 
I’d say that’s what’s going on in 75% of my sessions. Clients come first for the massage, and the sex, but they come back for the opportunity to be intimate, vulnerable and to find themselves. Same with me, I started doing the work thinking it was about massage and sex. Now I see it as something else. 

some newbie advice.....
https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/142802-etiquette-for-initial-communication/
https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/130365-caveats-in-hiring-please-contribute/
https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/83821-advice-for-a-newbie-please/
https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/103088-newbie-question/
https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/13389-recommendations-for-newbie/
be to-the-point, brief, professional in communication......no gushy daily texts!......smile, have fun, talk slowly, ask him what he likes, no money talk, look him in the eye, firm handshake....... no deposit!!

Charge your normal rate. Because although he has said now that he doesn’t want any sexual activity that is highly likely to change, either at the first session or subsequent ones. In that situation, if you have discounted, it’s not easy to then charge the normal rate again. His expectations are set and if sexual activity did occur he’d possibly think it was because you were happy to do that outside of any transactional service. That all becomes very difficult. 
If he books you at the normal rate and expects to pay it, and nothing sexual happens then you do have the option of giving him say 20% back after he’s paid you if you want to. Then you’re in control of the rate. 
 

I prefer the provider to respond exactly as he did.  If I say "I'll keep you in mind for another time in the future" (similar to your "Maybe another day", although more clear that I'm not trying to set something up right now), I expect nothing more than "OK" as a reply, if that.  When a provider counters with "What about Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning", I actually find THAT a turn off.  I already said no and will reach out at a future time, so respect that.
This provider did exactly as you asked.  If you wanted him to reply with  times he was available, a more direct "what times do you have available after after 3pm this Wednesday or after 1pm next weekend" would have been the phrase to use, not "Maybe another day".

This is not a correct analogy, because the server is working for someone else who has set the prices (the server did not set the prices). If the owner of the restaurant was also your server, there would be no need to tip him - he's the owner who set his prices and profit margins. 
As a former business owner in a service industry,  I never tip my provider - they are working independently for themselves, and therefore have determined their own pricing / profit margins to make a successful living once they began their business of massage / escort. If they are charging $200 for a one-hour massage, then they have determined that the $200 covers all expenses for the hour, and the rest is profit (that includes hotel expenses if it's a traveling provider). If they want to throw in 'extras' -  to me that's part of what sets them apart from the competition and has me returning to him as a regular client. That's pretty much a standard model for every business surviving these days in the service industry (though they don't usually call them 'extras' - they call them 'rewards program' for their regulars).
Aside from masseurs and escorts, I also don't tip my barber (he owns the business, so he has set his rates in his business plan from the day he opened his shop), my pet groomer (she owns the business), my landscaper (he gave me the price of cutting my lawn each week), or my house-keeper (she gave me the price of what she charges to clean each week.) I do, however, bring each of them (including my regular masseur) an expensive gift at Christmas / New Year's. 
Back in the days of me going to NYC and hiring through the agencies - yes, I did tip the provider because I know the fee I was charged was shared with the agency (so for a $200 appointment, $50 went to the agency for booking the appointment and the guy kept $150 for himself, as it was explained to me once). But that was more than 20 years ago, and today every guy works for themselves and has set his prices. 

As a former small business owner, I will share this...
The 'rule of thumb' (and long-time protocol among many over the years), is this:
An owner sets their prices, and those prices cover all their expenses, their salary each week, and their profits each quarter. If the prices don't, then they're doing something very wrong - and need to recalculate their pricing so it does cover all the above. 
So by tipping the cafe owner, or the hair salon owner, etc. I'm essentially  telling her that I know better than she does, and I've taken it upon myself to determine she needs help financially, because she's not earning enough with the prices she has set for her business. In other words, I'm insulting her as a business owner. I'm essentially telling she's not charging enough to earn a living, so my extra few bucks will supplement her income. That's insulting to any business owner who should be respected by customers, instead.
Of course, servers or stylists who are not 'on staff' are completely different, as they are not owners and have no control over pricing and profits, etc. So yes, they may need help with their personal finances, and tipping supplements their income. 

One of the main reasons I hire is so that I can find a guy who can host in a convenient location at a time that works for me… if that is removed from the equation, it kind of defeats the purpose of hiring (at least for me).

That’s it. It’s not really about massage, sex, cocks, cum or all those physical urge things people tend to think of when they think ‘sex work’. Those things happen of course but within a context that’s all about the client (a bad word but the only one that’s coming to me now) feeling approved of, desirable and safe. So many people can’t be themselves in their daily lives. The hour or so they spend with someone who approaches the work like @Simon Suracidescribes is their opportunity to be completely themselves, and to feel that that is ok and they are ok. 
I saw a client recently who told me that for years he’d been hiding his true self by playing a role that his circumstances (family, religion etc) and society had expected of him. He said he’d been working up the courage to come to me for two years since he first saw my website. Finally he’d overcome his anxiety and booked. He had scheduled a 2 hour session. I usually start those with an undressing before the client gets on the table. He wanted that so I put a blindfold on him, set the scene, snd started the undressing. 
Let’s not go into the details of how an undressing unfolds. All I’ll say is that it can be intense. My client was so overwhelmed with emotion, of the unburdening of his feelings, the release of years of repression that he suddenly collapsed in my arms. Given that he was a tall well built man all I could do was ease him to the floor with me. As we lay there, rather incongruously beneath the massage table, he took a few minutes to regain his composure and explained to me how he’d become overwhelmed by the situation and the reality of meeting himself. After a drink and a sit down more comfortably, a chat and a long cuddle he lay on the table and I proceeded with the massage. 
That client may be an extreme example, but I think he’s not so unusual. He needed to feel approved of as himself, which had never happened before because he was never really himself. For the 2 hours (at least after he’d got over the release of emotion) he was with me he could just be him, without judgement, without anxiety, without shame. He could feel accepted and approved of. If he had to go back to playing a role (and don’t we all?) then he now had the knowledge that somewhere at some time there’s the real him accessible, and that there’s nothing atall wrong with him.
Not every session is like that (I couldn’t handle the intensity!). Many  are simply ‘feel good’ massage sessions, a sexual release and a bit of ‘me time’ but a lot are the kind of session where you really help someone work something through. I like the ability to enable that for those clients. It’s beautiful. 

 

Thanks @ApexNomad. I could say the same about you!
I do truly love my job. This work is meaningful and important. Sure not every appointment is some special, deep, meaningful experience, but I have so many that are, that it keeps me going. I care about making a difference in people’s lives, in whatever weird, niche way. Society at best laughs off what I do, dismissing it as something frivolous, or at worst, decry the work as immoral. But few can fill this very special niche role in the world.
I keep a running list of client quotes that they’ve either said to me in person or texted, or said over the phone, but never shared in the form of a written public review. One of the most consistent comments or variations thereof is: “you make me feel safe”. That’s a really difficult thing to do when you think about it. I take pride and ownership over this quality, and the value my clients place on it. It’s a privilege and an honor. I approach my work with respect, knowing people choose me out of all the others to share their most intimate moments, and their deepest desires. I hold space for their most vulnerable moments in the palm of my hand.
Trust goes both ways. Some of my best clients are those who recognize that sense of safety and choose to trust me. This is where the meaningful stuff happens. They reveal parts of themselves they never felt safe to share before, even with a therapist. They find freedom to express themselves or do things in ways they can’t do elsewhere. They discover things about themselves they never knew because they finally felt safe enough to try it with me.
Those are the clients I most enjoy seeing; people that embrace the moment and use their time to be fully human, to feel alive and free. To do, and say, and feel the things they can’t in the everyday contexts of their lives. That’s profoundly valuable space for providers to hold, and likewise for clients to seek out. It’s special.
The ideal client for me is one that takes his role as seriously as I do mine. By that I don’t mean to eschew moments of humor and levity, but for the client to savor what he is hiring, to do something for himself that makes a difference in his own life. Not just another orgasm, or relaxing moment, or a trite bit of entertainment, but something that truly adds value to his life, perhaps challenges him, makes him a better man, a more whole person, even in some small way. I may not always see it, and he may not tell me so directly, but I know what I do means a lot to my ideal client. I care, and he cares, and that’s what makes the work worthwhile.

Pretty much what Jamie said. The ideal client respects my time, and me as a person. He maintains good hygiene, and responds to signals of when it’s time to touch (if he wants to) and when it’s time to relax. He indicates that he is enjoying my work either verbally or non verbally. He returns for more sessions. He books the session length appropriate to his needs.
My best clients refer others to me. I offer significant discounts for referrals because they are so rare and at the same time so much more valuable to me than anything else the client can do for my business.
Tipping is unnecessary, but a plus. It motivates me to go above and beyond. Clients who book more regularly I prefer much more than a one and done with a nice tip. Likewise the ideal client makes an effort to book me in their city when I am there, or when they visit mine.
Ideal clients I typically make some kind of spiritual connection with them, through the physical connection, but also through energy exchange and through conversation. Maybe that’s too woo-woo for many, but each client brings a certain energy to the table and I meet him where he is at. Ideal clients share themselves with me with honesty and vulnerability. Verbally and/or non verbally. I make myself emotionally available and present to invite that energy exchange to take place. 
So far I answered thinking of massage clients. I guess it’s somewhat different for escort sessions and combo sessions, but much of it is the same, especially the last bit about being yourself openly and honestly, being vulnerable and willing to connect on multiple levels, not just the physical. I have many great clients that primarily or only connect on a physical level, but my ideal clients connect on an emotional and spiritual level too.
For some, seeing me is a release of physical-emotional blockages (because the two are connected), profound relief and relaxation, self-discovery, mental clarity or even reaching a heightened state of mind or awareness. Again, none of this is necessary to be a good client. I’m just thinking of my “ideal” clients, for whom seeing me really makes a significant difference in their lives. That difference manifests in so many different ways. It gives me purpose. Making a difference fulfills me in a way that money can’t.

There's a couple of providers I have regular repeats with, sometimes they rate 10 sometimes they rate a 5.  And I would say all of that is not on the provider I own about 50% of that myself. I've learned that my expectations cannot be centered around any previous hot experience and I have to focus on the here and now in that current experience. These guys know my preferences, I know their limits.   Not getting erect happens, not being able to shoot happens.  That's not going to prompt me to ask for a discount.  I always make sure they know I respect them as a person despite the transactional nature of our encounter.  
Luckily I've not had the situation where the persons appearance /age/ vitals did not match IRL. I agree with some other posters on here that I would express my disappointment respectfully in that situation and offer to pay a portion of the fee and cut them loose. 
Some of us have unreasonable expectations and are just plain jerks to these providers.  No need for that. People want to do business with someone respectful. 

My two cents:
Regardless of "geopolitical context of hyper medicalization and pharmacology", I don't think of providers or compare them to a meal or an entertainment venue, where you have to pay regardless of the quality of the food or show. I think of providers as contractors who are responsible for delivering something that both parties agree upon, and where there are conversations about expectations, similar to a contract.
This situation doesn't look to me like a "buyer's remorse" situation from the consumer, it's a failure to deliver the expected service based on what is agreed, from the person contracted to deliver it, and the reason for the poor delivery is not beyond the control of the contractor, meaning, that it's not because of any accident, the weather or any out of the ordinary circumstances. It was, to borrow a line, because of geopolitical context of hyper medicalization and pharmacology, which is something that the provider/contractor can have control over, which makes him accountable for the improper delivery of services.
As such, in that situation I would have expected an adjustment in the agreed amount. Otherwise, I can easily see providers just promising things and then doing whatever they want simply because they think that the agreed money is guaranteed.
Just my thoughts, not law.

Any customer service profession having to deal with the general public all day and/or night, day in and day out is a bitch like none other.

90% of the time I pay and chalk it up to a learning experience. 
10% of the time I politely say "this isn’t going to work" and close the door in their face. 
I think of it the same way I do wine. There’s no way in hell I’m paying for a corked bottle of wine. But I make that clear at the first sip, not after I’ve drank 1/2 a glass. A bottle of wine that is technically "good", but that I just don’t "like”, is on me and a reminder that I need to learn how to pick better wines. 

.. which is hardly a professional attitude in their line of work.
One of the big advantages of hiring is that one can choose to hire a provider who suits one's current mood and inclinations.
Today, a smooth slim twink who is ready and willing to take it ..
Next week, a heavy muscular bodybuilder type who wll pin you down with his bodyweight and give it to you ..
And if you've an itch to scratch the week after with a particular kink, it's good to be able to hire a provider who is also into what you're looking for ..
 

.. which is hardly a professional attitude in their line of work.
One of the big advantages of hiring is that one can choose to hire a provider who suits one's current mood and inclinations.
Today, a smooth slim twink who is ready and willing to take it ..
Next week, a heavy muscular bodybuilder type who wll pin you down with his bodyweight and give it to you ..
And if you've an itch to scratch the week after with a particular kink, it's good to be able to hire a provider who is also into what you're looking for ..
 

.. which is hardly a professional attitude in their line of work.
One of the big advantages of hiring is that one can choose to hire a provider who suits one's current mood and inclinations.
Today, a smooth slim twink who is ready and willing to take it ..
Next week, a heavy muscular bodybuilder type who wll pin you down with his bodyweight and give it to you ..
And if you've an itch to scratch the week after with a particular kink, it's good to be able to hire a provider who is also into what you're looking for ..
 

.. which is hardly a professional attitude in their line of work.
One of the big advantages of hiring is that one can choose to hire a provider who suits one's current mood and inclinations.
Today, a smooth slim twink who is ready and willing to take it ..
Next week, a heavy muscular bodybuilder type who wll pin you down with his bodyweight and give it to you ..
And if you've an itch to scratch the week after with a particular kink, it's good to be able to hire a provider who is also into what you're looking for ..
 

.. which is hardly a professional attitude in their line of work.
One of the big advantages of hiring is that one can choose to hire a provider who suits one's current mood and inclinations.
Today, a smooth slim twink who is ready and willing to take it ..
Next week, a heavy muscular bodybuilder type who wll pin you down with his bodyweight and give it to you ..
And if you've an itch to scratch the week after with a particular kink, it's good to be able to hire a provider who is also into what you're looking for ..
 

.. which is hardly a professional attitude in their line of work.
One of the big advantages of hiring is that one can choose to hire a provider who suits one's current mood and inclinations.
Today, a smooth slim twink who is ready and willing to take it ..
Next week, a heavy muscular bodybuilder type who wll pin you down with his bodyweight and give it to you ..
And if you've an itch to scratch the week after with a particular kink, it's good to be able to hire a provider who is also into what you're looking for ..
 

.. which is hardly a professional attitude in their line of work.
One of the big advantages of hiring is that one can choose to hire a provider who suits one's current mood and inclinations.
Today, a smooth slim twink who is ready and willing to take it ..
Next week, a heavy muscular bodybuilder type who wll pin you down with his bodyweight and give it to you ..
And if you've an itch to scratch the week after with a particular kink, it's good to be able to hire a provider who is also into what you're looking for ..
 

The OP was disappointed in the escort being disrespectful of his time and expense.  This did not need to be the case. 
I think the escort in question handled the situation badly.  If his concern was that the the client would not be getting a full and quality experience, then he could have started with telling him so which he did,  So a good start.   He needed to follow that up.  
So,  he could have proceeded to ask, "knowing this, would you want me to come anyway or would you like to reschedule with some compensation, say a weekend for a nightly rate or an overnight for an hourly rate, or simply a regular encounter with dinner on him."   This does not absolve the escort but it ameliorates the situation.   
If the OP still wanted him to keep the appointment, which is his choice, then he is doing so knowing that the escort may not be up for everything he wants to do. 
If he accepts the counter offer, he may be disappointed still, but he had input into trying to salvage the situation.  
 

I mean this in the nicest possible way.  Both solutions revolve revolve around taking drugs, G and Ozempic.
The gym is so much healthier with so many positive side affects from looking good naked to reducing anxiety etc.  
The 4-5 hours a week I spend lifting has completely changed my life.

... and also helped to decide the scope and range of his business offering.  And the interaction between that scope, and [his] price.
Some escorts charge a premium for overnights because they don't particularly want to do them.  But, for the right price, they will do them - and, being professionals, will then deliver their usual quality service.  Some escorts just don't do overnights at all - and that is their prerogative.

... and also helped to decide the scope and range of his business offering.  And the interaction between that scope, and [his] price.
Some escorts charge a premium for overnights because they don't particularly want to do them.  But, for the right price, they will do them - and, being professionals, will then deliver their usual quality service.  Some escorts just don't do overnights at all - and that is their prerogative.