Occasional

Reminded me of a notorious vice bust many years ago here in London. Prostitution per se is not illegal in England, for a single provider working in private. Beyond that, there's a forest of legal no-nos: soliciting in public, pimping, running a brothel, and the quaint 'living on immoral earnings' which, I recall, once saw a respectable businessman convicted (and upheld on appeal) because his tenant was - unknown to him - working as a prostitute from the flat he'd rented to her, so that the rent he received from her was 'immoral'. But I digress.
From https://www.thejusticegap.com/a-very-bad-case-of-brothel-keeping/
" In her home [in suburban London] [Cynthia Payne] held sex parties ... a flat fee included food, drink, a film, a live show and the sexual services of one woman. The fame of Cynthia’s parties spread and women who sought to sell sexual services were attracted to her establishment, some of those present at the premises [when the police raided] on 4th December 1978 were there simply to earn extra cash for Christmas. But this very British carry-on came to an end after an anonymous letter was sent to police.
The simple offence of keeping a brothel would have only allowed a magistrate to sentence her at most to six months in prison and so [the police] relied on an offence which existed at common law ... the offence of keeping a disorderly house. The definition of that offence dated back to 1751, but the offence itself dated back to the time of [King] Henry 3rd [reigned 1216-1272] , when parliament became concerned that a group of women had set up a brothel just south of Fleet Street [in London] and close to a Friary.
When Cynthia Payne appeared at the ... Inner London Crown Court, in April 1979 she faced 21 charges and was represented by [a] prominent human rights barrister ... She pleaded guilty to only three charges of controlling prostitution and one of keeping a disorderly house.
The facts put before the court, which were undisputed, were that those present on the day of her arrest were all consenting adults who chose to be there. It was accepted by the prosecution that Cynthia [Payne] had not recruited the women. There was no question of coercion or corruption by her. The clients knew perfectly well what they were doing, none of the neighbours complained and the women were not obliged to have sex and could say no. It was a safe establishment for them to trade in with no dangers. The police superintendent in charge of the case gave evidence to the court that Cynthia’s clients were principally middle aged and elderly business men, managing directors [=CEOs] accountants, barristers, solicitors [=attorneys, lawyers], a member of parliament [lawmaker] for Ireland, a member of the House of Lords and not to forget several vicars [=priests]. "
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Payne was sentenced to 18 months imprisonment (reduced to six months on appeal) and none of the men were charged - there was nothing to charge them with. Word at the time was that the very highest-profile customers were discreetly shown out of the back door by the police when they raided and never appeared on the list of customer names.  That list was never made public, although it was produced to the judges in the case. Conspicuous by its absence in the categories of customer above is ... ... judges. Enough said. 
 

Yes, sometimes the masseur trips and the entire penis goes in accidentally.  It's happened to me a few hundred times.

Fine sentiments.  I agree with them  But - what exactly *is* being asked? When I speak with a new potential hire (London) and ask his rate, I often hear something like "well .. it's .. er .. £250" or even ".. it's usually £250" . That's clearly a rate not fixed in stone. 
That's what I say, and I usually hear "what is your budget?", to which I reply "it's £200, how would that sit with you if we don't f--k?" Usually I get acceptance. And that avoids the session being affected by the provider feeling that he's been "talked down".  And leaves the door open, in the session, to 'upgrade' the session to full-fee if I decide I'd like the missing piece of the jigsaw  to be included.
Works for me, YMMV
 

I  know one escort, who I have seen a few times, who gets turned on by the offer of being paid for sex (this came up in a discussion we had off the clock).  On our most recent visit, as we were engaged in the act, I talked "dirty" to him telling him I'd give him $$ amount of money for his DNA in me (or something like that, you know... very poetic and in the heat of the moment).  The $$ amount was the exact same as what we had already discussed before hand.  But in the heat of the moment, hearing me offer to pay him while we were already engaged in the act really got him (and me) turned on.   Then, at the end, I paid him what we agreed.   I don't think that scenario would have been as hot or intense if I paid him in advance.  I know this is a one-off story and not representative of the reasons to pay before vs after.  I just thought I'd mention it because it was a hot moment.

First time clients should pay up front. It's an anti-theft measure. Regular clients can pay when they want, because they have more trust with the provider.

If you create a free account with Sleepyboy, after logging in you'll find an option "Make a Request", which leads to a page where you can post a message that all escorts can see. I was pleasantly surprised when I used that facility some time ago to say I was seeking a provider who was definitely into my kink, rather than simply including it in the list of options on their profile and being perfunctory and transactional when it came to it. I had a number of thoughful and encouraging replies from providers, which helped me forward.  Maybe that might work for you, too?
Also DM'd you.

Both of those escorts have a list of reviews as long as your arm, which tends not to be a good sign on Sleepboy i.e. they are likely self-generated.  The giveaway is when nearly all of an escort's reviews are EITHER one- or two- liners, OR all lengthy with flowery prose incorporating many superlatives.   The difference is well borne out when running your eye down the reviews for each of those escorts!

We have a few regulars who've discussed other clients with us - never revealing any identifiable information. They tend to be humorous or horrifying stories. We don't seek a BFE so maybe it doesn't come up. 
Personally, I think jealousy is largely socially constructed. I grew up in a working-class community where an SO even looking at another person was considered a betrayal. Any infidelity was grounds for a breakup or divorce, regardless of circumstance or length of the relationship. IMO, these are unhealthy relationships based not on mutual love, loyalty and sharing a life, but almost a conscription into a forced monogamy that may not make sense for any particular couple. It's not about love, it's about possession and control. 
And if you have feelings that arise about a provider, I guess that you're placing them into this very heteronormative model. Enjoy the time you spend with people, whether a provider, a lover, or a friend, and don't worry about what they're doing the rest of the time. 

If you create a free account with Sleepyboy, after logging in you'll find an option "Make a Request", which leads to a page where you can post a message that all escorts can see. I was pleasantly surprised when I used that facility some time ago to say I was seeking a provider who was definitely into my kink, rather than simply including it in the list of options on their profile and being perfunctory and transactional when it came to it. I had a number of thoughful and encouraging replies from providers, which helped me forward.  Maybe that might work for you, too?
Also DM'd you.

If you create a free account with Sleepyboy, after logging in you'll find an option "Make a Request", which leads to a page where you can post a message that all escorts can see. I was pleasantly surprised when I used that facility some time ago to say I was seeking a provider who was definitely into my kink, rather than simply including it in the list of options on their profile and being perfunctory and transactional when it came to it. I had a number of thoughful and encouraging replies from providers, which helped me forward.  Maybe that might work for you, too?
Also DM'd you.

I live and hire in London.  
This thread has brought into sharper focus for me that there does seem to be a considerable degree of mutual antipathy in London between Braziian escorts and non-Brazilian escorts.  The root of it, as far as I can tell from occasional comments that (non-Brazilian) escorts have made to me over the years, is that the Brazilians have flooded the market with their extra 'supply', which puts downward pressure on rates and/or reduces the amount of business the average escort can expect. Another sneer is that newly arriving Brazilians get drawn into the drug scene by their peers already in London, wreck their health and their ability to perform sexualy, and exit the market in relatively short order, a shadow of what they were.
How much of that is actually true, I couldn't really say.  But, to the extent that it is, if you have 'asked a few escorts', I could see the Brazilians drawing you in to the PNP mode of escorting, by default.  And if you ask non-Brazilian escorts, they would have a vested interest in pushing you the same way - partly sterotyping you, partly nudging you into a short-and-not-sweet escorting career, reducing the competition, especially for building a solid base of longer-term repeating clients.
What to do then in London?  Well, I would create a profile on Sleepyboy. And make sure you complete it fully, including the 'Activities' and 'Fetish' sections (an increasing proportion of new sign-ups to Sleepyboy don't, which only leaves you guessing what their parameters and boundaries are). Don't feel you have to tick every box - an escort who (supposedly) is in to everything for everyone is in reality more likely to be a performative player with no real interest or enthusiasm.  Anything you particualrly like, mention in your profile text.  Anyhting you don't do, ditto - and, to meet the stereotype head-on, that would include saying that you don't do drugs and don't meet clients who do.
And -let me know when you're next in London 😉 
 

Last I checked you don't need to break up with someone you're paying. If you hire a painter or a plumber or a massage therapist and they don't do a good job you just don't hire them again... you don't break up with them. Ask him if he'd like to continue seeing you for free and then you won't have to break up with him b/c he'll break up with you.

A provider who has turned on the "Available Now" indicator on his profile is raising the expectations of potential clients.  He then has the opportunity to demonstrate his professionalism by responding to phone calls promptly (within half an hour is good, over an hour unimpressive). and by willingness to schedule an appointment that same day, within a few hours (i.e. not "I'm free this evening" to a morning enquiry).
I'm always impressed when a provider ticks both boxes, the more so if their call back shows that they've taken a short break from what they're doing to call back (e.g. "I'm at the gym atm, I'll be home around [time] and can see you from [time]").  I don't read desperation into this - keenness perhaps, and I don't see a keen provider as any bad thing!
What is NOT impressive is a provider with "Available Now" showing on their profile in the morning, who rings back several hours later on their lunch break from their day job, and offers an appointment that evening.
 
 

Reading these is so interesting. Thank you to everyone who has contributed. It shows that it’s definitely not just about looks although clearly that’s important: I think it’s like the entry pass to the job - you need some kind of looks attribute whether that’s a big cock, a muscular physique or something that is distinctive. It’s also about personality and professionalism. I think the professionalism issue is something frequently overlooked by those doing the work. They rely on the looks and think ‘job done’. Big mistake.
My learning from doing the job is clients like the action but they come back for the connection and the intimacy. You can get action on a hookup but you won’t necessarily get connection, intimacy and someone who’s focused on giving. I’m glad to hear clients look for attributes like these. 

Exactly. He was emotionally buoyant. And as a result of witnessing the power of an object to displace a primary element, inspired to invent the screw pump. 

I love these sessions. I agree with much of what others have already said. It’s much less frequent for me (almost everyone wants sex-and, or sex-only), but I enjoy the men hiring me for dinner dates, cuddling, chatting, and other forms of general companionship. So many men need safety, a no judgment zone, and to be heard and seen. 

Before messaging:
 
1- Status/health- does his profile give any indication of safety measures taken for sexual health?
2- Enjoyment- does his profile indicate that he genuinely enjoys sex, intimacy, etc?
3- Intos- did he just select everything?  Red flag.  Did he specifically select kissing? Green flag.
4- Pics- do his pics all look like the same person?  Do they clearly show his body (specifically torso)?  If there aren’t clear face pics, do they at least give a general idea of what the face looks like? Obviously, the pics have to depict someone who I find so attractive that I’d be willing to pay for his company.
5- Stats- are they consistent with the pics?  Consistent with the text of the profile?  Are there more than a couple “ask me”s (I learned this the hard way)?
After messaging:
6- Can he host in a convenient location at a time that works for me?
7- Is his rate within the standard range that I would anticipate paying? 
8- Does he indicate that he’d be amenable to the activities I want to do?  Does he give the sense that he would at least pretend to enjoy my company?

Correct, it doesn't. This forum discussed many immature, selfish men who ditched their long term partners for some young piece of ass. Perhaps some men shouldn't hire even if they're married, if that's how they handle it.
A bond IMHO is emotional or friendship, distinct from being on good terms with someone. I've had the same barber, mechanic, and accountant for much longer than 8 years, and while I'm on good terms, the relationship only exists as long as we do business.
Yes, working relationships often lead to deeper friendship - but usually not until you stop working together. That's my experience. And as much as I wish we'd treat sex work like any other type, most people seem to have difficulty separating them.
And to be blunt, I don't hire escorts based on chemistry - that's how I choose a date. I hire based on their body, looks, and obedience. If one of those go, so do they. Bonds are created between equals, not between a person who needs money and someone who has it.

I have a friend-with-benefits who identifies as lesbian and mostly we have a “buddy” relationship.  She and I share some hobbies and interests and we get together whenever one of us is in the other’s town.  Occasionally, she likes some dick.  She says that’s a purely physical pleasure for her and it doesn’t fulfill some emotional cravings for her.  But she enjoys the physical sensations, she likes pleasuring her buddy, enjoys the variety of sex she gets with a man, and the fact that it feels a little transgressive to her makes it a kinky turn-on for her.

As a client of 20+ yrs, I make a regular practice of telling mine just as they're about to stick it in. Almost always gets me an additional 10m on the house. 😂

While it’s reasonable to consider a provider’s terms when seeking their services, your statement is overly rigid and ignores the mutual nature of professional relationships. Meeting a provider should involve mutual agreement, not unilateral demands. Both parties have needs, clients seek services, but providers benefit from the engagement too. Insisting on only the provider’s terms dismisses the client’s side. A fair arrangement balances both sides, fostering respect and collaboration rather than one party dictating terms.
 

I've invited a few regular hires out to dinner or to a show, with just the value of the meal or show as compensation.  But these were with men I've hired dozens of times.  I've not reached out to hire someone for the first time in a public setting. 
I feel I would need to get to know someone through sex several times, before I would feel comfortable enough hiring him in a social setting.  Sex is easy.  Social interactions can be hard😉

I guess it depends on where you live or, more precisely, on where you’re obtaining the massage.
I’m rather ‘old school’ about gratuities. It makes sense to me to be generous
(1) when any service-provider goes ‘above and beyond’ to ensure that I receive excellent service.
(2) equally it’s unnecessary to tip if the service is routine AND the service-provider is an individual who sets the rates. (I was brought up NOT to tip a business-owner as it was considered then to be insulting).
(3) If the service is only OK but the provider is working in a spa or hotel where the establishment collects the rate, I’d add a routine gratuity. If the service is bad, however, I’d leave a zero tip…and I’m prepared to tell the provider why.

There's a third.  Wait until a provider is online, then send an SMS asking if it's convenient ro ring "for a short call to clear up a couple of points" and stating that you've read their profile in full.  Works for me.
 

Wristband?!  What's needed is a bold mark in body paint or crayon to one buttock (or both). Red or green 😉
Belt and braces (suspenders) would be a (red) cross or a (green) tick, to help guide the 7% of men who are colour-blind.