SouthOfTheBorder

2 hours ago, EVdude said:

You play, you pay. It’s just the way it is.

agree.  

and play frequent enough, well - it’s pretty much a certainty

current terminology is STI, not STD

11 hours ago, sniper said:

I maintain that it's markedly harder today for people who are of average ability but reasonably hardworking to get by and/or ahead. I'm  doing okay, but I'm doing okay in a game that is rigged, and more than I care to admit of my financial success was due to being in the right place at the right time.

this is correct & defines what is considered the “American Dream” - children are no longer doing better than their parents.  And that’s for the middle class with access to education & other resources.  For the poor, it’s even worse.

We are now at the tail end of a 40 year experiment of “trickle-down” tax policy that has largely shifted vast wealth to the already wealthy - the creation of a super rich class while wages for the middle class & poor have woefully lagged behind.  

All you need to do is look at America’s crumbling infrastructure and increasingly lawlessness among the poor to see the deterioration of the country.  Other rich developed countries do not have these same problems as the US - not even close.  Some of them have similar issues brewing on a much smaller & less visible scale - but none have the vast wealth inequality as compared to the US. 

When people see the system as systemically rigged and lose hope - then all options are on the table.  Really, I’m surprised this has happened sooner than the past couple of years. 

There is little choice but to employ more aggressive policing and hardline policies - otherwise the cities which are the economic drivers in the country become unsustainable, affecting the greater US economy overall. 

Re: the “smash & grab” organized crime wave: where do all those stolen products go ?  the stolen merchandise is resold online to very middle class people looking for a bargain.  Above all - Americans want to buy at lowest possible price no matter where the goods come from.  They love to be bemoan China trade issues but then they flock to Walmart & Amazon buying cheap Chinese produced products.  Moving manufacturing jobs offshore & destruction of American Main streets is the direct result of the American insatiable desire for low priced products (Chinese) sold at mass retailers at the lowest possible price.  This was not hard to predict, yet most don’t connect the dots.

Folsom always seemed a little desperate to me for whatever reason. Dore Alley in SF was more fun - smaller & more local.

Agree w @BenjaminNicholas - Black Party and other similar have turned into crystal meth events. Not everyone, but enough that there is a very different energy & it’s not nice. 

so many things in NYC stores behind locked glass cases.  I had to wait yesterday at CVS for someone to unlock the case for ice cream. 

a friend who works in a retail clothing chain in Manhattan tells of multiple walk-in gangs stealing everything in sight.  Staff is told to stand-down and it happens even with security people there.  I don’t think police bother to come anymore. Not sure if that’s still happening, but it was last year. 

no excuse for any of it.  I do think the root cause is rising income inequality and people thinking there is no way to better their lives. when people can’t meet basic survival needs & lose hope, then everything is on the table.  the people on this forum, including me have no idea what that’s like. San Francisco is ground zero for extreme income inequality and now it’s like a futuristic dystopian movie from 30 yrs ago with driverless cars, gleaming glass towers w extreme wealth and masses of homeless & drug addict zombies at street level.

11 hours ago, EZEtoGRU said:

With everything that is now known about the dangers of smoking cigarettes, its amazing to me that people actually still voluntarily choose to do it

people do lots of things that aren’t logical, aren’t good for them & known to cause health problems. - terrible diets/obesity, crystal meth & other drugs, unprotected sex & the list goes on.  
I get smoking can be annoying for a non-smoker

interesting to note that in Japan & Spain they smoke like chimneys. Those two countries also have the longest average life-spans in the world.  Of course smoking is bad for health - yet, it sure looks like a diet with real food & much less additives, preservatives & junk food has more to do with living a longer & healthier life than not smoking. 

being in a casino doesn’t exactly make sense either - the house always wins, eventually 

the thing with making provider appointments weeks in advance is the very high-probability of cancellations.  Appointments w providers typically aren’t given same priority as doctor/dentist/attorney appointments- things that have to get done.  Provider appointments are entirely elective & it’s the first thing cancelled when travel plans change, family commitments come-up, job requirements, unforeseen emergencies or the time just becomes inconvenient. Many clients don’t have long-term relationships w the providers so they will cancel without the same courtesies they give to doctors/dentists/lawyers, etc  it’s just someone they don’t know - not all of course, but many. 

To each their own - I just don’t like to waste anyone’s time, including mine until I know nothing will get in the way either same day or day before.  I really can’t plan weeks ahead on being horny at a specific day & time, nor do I know my body will cooperate either.

Plus, when making same day or day before - the provider knows you’re more likely serious. Thats just the way it works.

Scheduling travel with a provider for several days or maybe booking a weekend would be the only time I’d contact weeks in advance. 

8 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

When I set up same day appointments

this the key - not setting things up too far in advance.  same day or day before at the most.

and limit contact with provider to things only necessary for appointment.  OP story sounds cumbersome for a simple appointment.

no excuse for the ghosting tho 

On 8/22/2022 at 9:52 PM, MikeBiDude said:

and I’m curious about hiring from Hunqz. Any thoughts?

lots of hires from Hunqz in EU.  All good & I prefer over RM.  reviews are all over the place & the reviews can by anonymous, meaning without username.  providers can also link to provider “friends” which seems to adds some legitimacy.  Hunqz doesn’t have all the various filters as RM, but not much of an issue.  Rates are much lower compared to RM. 

contact a lawyer first.  dont listen to any advice here.  

the most important thing - a clean hole  

top or bottom - eventually, someone goes there for something 

it’s a very narrow point-of- view to think that the people you’re attracted to, are the only people that have value, or that others don’t find those same people very attractive/sexy/desirable.

sometimes I have no idea what’s going to turn me on until it happens. and frequently, it’s completely unexpected.

keeping an open mind & trying to stay out of judgment yields more opportunities for better outcomes - whatever the context 

7 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I stayed for a few days at Island House last year

Island House is definitely fun & worth it.  One of the better values in KW.  

On 8/20/2023 at 10:09 PM, BenjaminNicholas said:

I feel like the gay makeup of Key West is now 60+ and mostly white. I've never seen less diversity on the island as I have right now. 
 

It's gotten so overpriced that young guys want nothing to do with it.  They want the energy of Miami.  Key West is like a retirement home to them. 

100% accurate.  

Plus, the thing w Key West & Ft Lauderdale is the taste level is very low.  Lots of rich people & they don’t care what they spend or if there is any value - the point seems to be spending money in conspicuous ways. 

Miami has fantastic places if you can deal w the attitude & general rude vibe.  

he is Brazilian - was working in São Paulo & then London.  He won’t last lomg…..husband material. 

the “provider” is providing a service.  do you care if your dentist or mechanic is attracted to you ?
no - it’s only about the job you hired them to do.

if you’re getting the service you paid for, confused with feelings or attraction- than that’s on you.

38 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

They can only "game" the system if they create paid accounts with friends CC

the assumption is RM would be looking for duplicate CC transactions & they wouldn’t allow a card used by a provider to be used to create a client profile.  doubtful RM cares, since they seem entirely focused on money.  And accounts can created some as one-time transactions only. 

for a provider that understands the importance of reviews - it’s a very small price to pay for the ability to post positive reviews & drive client engagement.  and there could be some providers splitting the cost to post positive reviews to several accounts 

there are definitely suspect reviews & patterns on RM - however it happens 

I remember his old profile - there was an extensive dialogue about his rigid hygiene requirements & general bottom shaming.  basically saying that any breach of his standards would result in immediate termination of appointment.  it went on & on to the point of being ridiculous.  there’s a way to make a point & that was not it 

that combined with his very inflated opinion of himself doesn’t usually mean a good client experience 

for guys that get off on his one physical attribute, perhaps all tolerable 

maybe he’s actually a nice person - but the profile(s) indicates otherwise 

there are some legit prolific clients on RM who leave good & bad reviews - I’ve found several providers just by scanning their review history …..guys I would have overlooked otherwise.  there are several ways to use the reviews. 

some providers on RM seem to be able to make poor reviews disappear- not sure how it happens.  

in sexual context - “age-shaving” and dick size exaggeration now seems normalized among providers & app people.   if it’s not a wildly off-base, then probably ok.
if I know someone is lying outside of those two things - then it just creeps me out & I don’t want to be around that person. 

I don’t really need to know a lot about the providers personal story. the established guys I know keep it relatively focused & don’t really go there. so, if there’s an obvious lie involved, I’d question why that’s even a thing.  if it’s an ongoing relationship, then that’s different 

I’ve never been asked anything about sexual health by a provider - in 40 years. 

i assume whatever they do with me - they’re doing same exact thing with dozens of other people.  And those other people are doing same thing too.

I tend to hire guys who specify safe-only in profiles.  Right or wrong, I assume that’s an indicator they are more health-conscious. And on the flip-side, never hiring a provider w “anything goes” or PNP in profile.  I usually ask the provider if condoms are ok when booking just to confirm & let them know my expectations. 

It’s not foolproof & there’s always risk - but it’s about reducing the risk to something acceptable & then having a good time….its supposed to be fun & pleasurable.  

big difference between randomly hitting on someone & being a serial predator who uses power & position to get sex. And it’s next level horrible when it’s targeted towards very young

Spacey definitely appears predator.  There are many more just like him - usually protected by enablers & hangers-on, dependent on the predator.  Celeb predators very rarely act alone & in secret 

lots of people have dietary restrictions for one reason or another.  it’s how you handle it and communicate the restrictions only when necessary.  
it does seem like some people use it as an attention-seeking ploy & it gets blown wildly out of proportion.  

If someone really has a bunch of rigid requirements then they should  1)pick the restaurant  2)stay in a hotel  3)do their own grocery shopping 4)decline most dinner invitations at someones home

having a guest for dinner or a brief stay is supposed to be enjoyable & not a ton of work for the host. when it turns into something else - that’s a no 

learning how to just say no - without any further explanation is a true life-hack.  You don’t need a reason 

19 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I'm a New Yorker now, so upfront and honest is my approach

most New Yorkers are not 100% tone-deaf & completely lacking self-awareness 

Im sure you’re charming at cocktail parties - doubtful that ever happens tho

check the reviews for patterns.

frequently, there are many reviews by same person. also, look at when the reviewer became a member - lots of reviews by people who signed up same month.  Or, if several reviews happen in a short period of time.

there are definitely some guys gaming the system.  not possible w hundreds of reviews tho

3 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Yup. I finally blocked some of the worst offenders because they make being on here miserable

much better that way - a full block/ignore makes them invisible  
there are lots of guys here full of self-hatred and working out their issues….or not.  the tone is telling.
and then there are those living vicariously through others who never post anything about their own actual experiences - yet, live to pick apart details posted by others. typically, they populate this forum & similar forums 24/7.  

of course, the Karens are here too - feverishly working to control the narrative w frequent reports to the mods to censor & cancel people they don’t like. easily identified by their passive/aggressive tendencies and “ownership” of the space

it takes a village