Your Man in Arlington

For many clients, providers are not a commodity service and they will pay to meet exactly who they want. Just look at the secondary/auction markets in wine, watches, and art. Smart providers will understand this and set their rates accordingly.

12 hours ago, Topseed said:

Reno quoted me "$5K for first hour $1K for every hour after that".

Um, no. Couldn't make this up if I tried.

While Reno isn't this for me, there are a few better know guys for whom I would jump on (lol) an offer like this.

I'm thinking of reaching out to him, but "Would love to see a pic of you to see if we’re a match." as a closer is a red flag and certainly indicates the request is not about "safety." While the couple of times I have provided a pic there hasn't been an issue, that particular request has been made after some initial conversation.

Maybe because it's a larger metro, but there were a noticeable number of traveling providers in DC just for Pride this weekend.

I've had 3 guys ask for their donation at the beginning of a meeting; and, I gave it to all three, since it would not be the end of the world for me if I wasn't satisfied.

Two were less experienced guys, who I think were genuinely nervous about being ripped off. They did everything agreed to and were a enjoyable enough experience, but not repeats, probably because of their inexperience. The third was more experienced, had a "My Own Private Idaho" suburbs-gone-street-trade vibe, did everything we agreed and more... had a great time with him and would think about a repeat if I was in the same city.

In all three cases, I felt that the request came from their sense of vulnerability in the situation and not from a desire or plan to rip me off.

I get it. When I was their age and working as a provider, I was ripped off by one client: at the end of the session he informed me he didn't have cash and proceeded to write me a check from a closed bank account. Fortunately for me, it was a low effort encounter and I just wrote it off as bad experience. 🤷‍♂️

Profile created April 2, with 8 5-star reviews in 2 months. Reviewers seem to share many of the same guys? Also, looks familiar for some reason:

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Thanks in advance for any info!

On 6/3/2024 at 2:36 AM, BaronArtz said:

I am sorry to read this happened to you.

Very often clients forget that escorts are real people with real feelings.  I hope you found your inner peace after that experience.

Thank you! Fortunately, I didn't was able to reflect on it, not take it personally, and turned it into learning experience moving forward.

8 hours ago, Frankcal said:

Is that really an erection or photoshop?

Photoshop. Especially the wet spot.

9 minutes ago, Bokomaru said:

I’m really sorry that this happened to you. Limits can take a tremendous amount of discussion and hiring does not usually involve extensive communication. 

I would like to point out that “genuinely sadistic” is not really a problem if both parties are in agreement about what could happen. I am genuinely sadistic, however, I wouldn’t think of hiring someone for an SM scene that would mark the bottom.  I agree, (anything more than playful) spanking is a big ask. 

 

Thank you! My intention was not to kink shame, and a poor choice of words on my part.

My meaning was that my client's intention was to not respect my explicit boundaries, and violating those boundaries was really what he was looking for when engaging me, on top of not fully communicating the scene he was aiming to create. You seem smart, experienced, and aware that these scenarios require a good understanding as to what will happen and both parties to stick to that. Many clients are not that self-aware, and I think there's a greater risk for providers in these sorts of jobs when being hired as a sub.

Still, best of luck to the OP!

I think this is tough ask. Back in the day (30 or so years ago) when I was a provider, I took a job that involved getting spanked. The client was so genuinely messed up and genuinely sadistic, that I swore I would never take a job like that again.

I would think/hope that providers will want to have a conversation—more than do you mind getting your ass turned red—before taking a job that could quickly pivot from a known, consensual scene to one that leaves visible physical damage and/or devolves into emotional abuse.

That said, there are 68 profiles on RM in NYC with position "Bottom" and "Spanking" listed as what they are into; or 8 profiles with the keyword "sub" and are into "Spanking". I would start a conversation with those providers about exactly what I'm looking for.

Doesn't list anal under I Am Into. 🤔

8 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

At least you don't have to stay home like working guys had to in the 90's before widespread use of cellphones.

I would literally walk about half-an-hour to hang out on a street corner for who-knows-how-long on *weekend* evenings, and sometimes even weekdays, depending on what was in town. And, this was even while I had a pager, though I would have to find a payphone in time to call a guy back.

4 hours ago, carolus said:

but younger guys wo't typically go for an older man.

They're not going for you, they're going for the job. That isn't to say they won't enjoy activities with you, there are some guys who just love sex and/or get off on being paid. But, you shouldn't be worried about whether they're "into" you. If they're a good provider, they will be into you for as long as long as your appointment lasts.

3 hours ago, Wanderoz said:

Him.  Watching str8 porn.  That's the funniest comment I have read in this string and on the whole of this site today.

Especially given his profile claim:

Depends on whether he's hosting and how thin his walls are?

48 minutes ago, carolus said:

I'm in my late 30s, and would said escorts mind about seeing a guy who is older?

This is not an issue. In fact, you would probably one of his younger clients.

Prior thread, with links to other prior threads, here:

And why not check all of the into boxes, including PNP and Fisting?

6 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

A client might clutch his wallet at amounts from $1.5k-2k (or more) for an “overnight” lasting around 8hrs-12hrs ish, but the way I think through all the components, I believe the range I quote is a pretty reasonable ask.

From what you described, I think this was a *really* good deal for your client.

1 minute ago, KensingtonHomo said:

From what you’ve said you’re not the subject of this thread. I don’t recall you writing endless posts about how unattractive men your own age are. 

I also do not usually care for facial hair, though I make exceptions. 

But I maintain that if someone has a sexual aversion to people of their own age, they should look very closely at that. It’s not natural and likely internalize homophobia and ageism. 

Point taken, my response here was based on that fact that I don't look for or engage "older" providers. And, yes, I'm married to a guy a few years older than me who I find quite attractive.

7 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

More often than not a client expects us to offer some commentary or react to the way they look. He wants validation, but there is no good way for us to give it to him.

This is why I don't preemptively share a photo (or photos) with a provider, I don't want to put them in the position where they have to comment on my appearance.

I have sent them to a couple of providers who requested them. Both of them had very complete public profiles, and politely asked after some conversation. One didn't comment and the other told me I was handsome, which is probably accurate, and a nice way of describing a someone a couple of decades his senior.

I am generally looking for providers in their late 20's, or those that at least appear as such.

I've never thought of it as an "aversion" to older providers, though I do have an aversion to facial hair, which most providers seem to acquire once they turn "30." And, I am 100% aware that I'm reliving what was the prime of my adventurous sex life before entering my first real LTR.

It's been a form of "therapy" for me, and it certainly doesn't involve self-hate. If anything, I've become more reconciled and self-accepting of my current age and the effects of the aging since being more directly confronted with the contrast. Better yet, I'm sometimes still surprised by discovering how well things still work or even new, unexpected experiences.

Aside my preferences and perspective, the thread subject reads a loaded question with prejudged answers. Should I seek therapy because I'm not attracted to guys with beards? If I didn't shave, I would naturally grow one. Does that make me self-hating?

Anyone else here read Stars in my Pocket Like Grains of Sand?

Added a photo that includes his face, very handsome. Not sure if we'd be a match on activities, though.

On 5/17/2024 at 4:58 PM, DrownedBoy said:

I've never met a provider who asked my STD status.

I'm hoping it's because, like me, they assume that all their partners have STDs (including HIV) and take the proper measures. 

I had one young, inexperienced provider ask, and I thought it was ridiculous. Of course, I don't think I have or have been exposed to anything based on my visual and sensory experience. But that's no guarantee, especially since so many STDs can remain asymptomatic.

8 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

 🤮

Sorry, I have no experience with 😺.  I am a proud Platinum Star ⭐ Gay.  Any tips or tricks based on my experience have pertained only to the arse.

I think we can substitute "bussy" or even "mussy"? Yes? No? Maybe?