Wedding Attire = "Semi-Formal / Cocktail" - What is This?

[OneFinger]

Just received an expected invite to a summer wedding in Vermont. The invite indicated the attire was "semi-formal / cocktail". What in the hell does that mean?

 

I've done the obligatory Google search and don't see a consistency. A lot indicate a dark, tailored suit with a dress shirt and tie is needed. Other sites indicate a muted / dark sport coat with dress slacks is acceptable. While I have a dark suit, it is not tailored and not for comfortable for me. I really don't want to purchase a new suit since the next time I'd wear it is when I'm in my casket.

 

I have a couple of nice sports coat / dress slack combinations that are comfortable for me wear. Any thoughts on if that would be appropriate?

[gallahadesquire]

You could go out and splurge on a nice cocktail dress.

 

If you have time, you could get that dark suit tailored to fit you better. Buy a new fitted shirt and a nice tie.

As long as the slacks are dark and muted enough (NOT khakis!), a sports coat would be okay. Think navy blue blazer / charcoal pants except the charcoal has got to be awfully dark. And definitely a muted tie.

 

Is long as the blazer is dark, the tie "respectable (no red or rep ties; a nice pattern), and the pants quiet and the shoes black and well polished ... oh, and the belt a respectable black, you should be okay.

 

My grandmother knew how to dress me. My mother's teenage revolt was to refuse to have a debutante ball.

[MikeyGMin]

Personally, I'd go for a dark suit, but unless they are on the pretentious side, a dark sport coat with a tie and nice leather shoes should be fine. To me, semi-formal just means more than business casual.

[gallahadesquire]

Personally, I'd go for a dark suit, but unless they are on the pretentious side, a dark sport coat with a tie and nice leather shoes should be fine. To me, semi-formal just means more than business casual.

 

Agreed - the "sports coat" should be the type that looks like it's with a suit.

 

Better to be overdressed than under. And I assume that @MikeyGMin meant to include pants.

[MikeyGMin]

Agreed - the "sports coat" should be the type that looks like it's with a suit.

 

Better to be overdressed than under. And I assume that @MikeyGMin meant to include pants.

Pants are optional of course! Actually pants are the hardest part. They have to contrast enough so it doesn't look like you've just mismatched a suit, but still be dark enough to be formal.

 

I'm lucky that my weight doesn't fluctuate much so I have one nice wedding/funeral suit. Dark charcoal. Miss Manners might say I'm wrong on both counts but I feel like it's dark enough for a funeral and not too dark for a wedding. Any event requiring something more formal than that can consider my RSVP = Not able to attend.

[+ nycman]

As the wise posters before me have implied....""Semi-Formal" is one step below "Formal"

 

Of course "Formal" is black tie / tuxedo territory.

 

Semi-Formal is more like very conservative business attire.

 

As always, Emily Post to the rescue:

 

Dark, business suit

Matching vest (optional)

Dress shirt

Tie

Leather dress shoes and dark dress socks.

 

Personally I would not wear a sport coat and dress slacks.

That is not Semi-Formal. That's more "Business Casual" in my book.

 

I say bite the bullet and buy a nice suit.

Every man should own at least one suit that looks great on him.

[rvwnsd]

You could go out and splurge on a nice cocktail dress....

One cannot have too many little black dresses is my motto!

 

Agreed - the "sports coat" should be the type that looks like it's with a suit.

 

Better to be overdressed than under. And I assume that @MikeyGMin meant to include pants.

No, @gallahadesquire , he did not. "Formal" would include pants. "Semi-Formal" is sans pants.

 

Just received an expected invite to a summer wedding in Vermont. The invite indicated the attire was "semi-formal / cocktail". What in the hell does that mean?...I have a couple of nice sports coat / dress slack combinations that are comfortable for me wear. Any thoughts on if that would be appropriate?

Typically, semi-formal/cocktail attire for men means a dark suit and tie. It is called that because "formal" means a tuxedo. However, you could wear a dark blazer/sport coat, dark trousers, and a muted tie (as @gallahadesquire mentioned in his post. ). For a recent work event where we were asked on very short notice to dress in black and/or gray I wore black pants and a gray jacket with a silver patterned tie. Because I wear an extra-long jacket (all arms and legs here) that only one store had in stock and found out about the black/gray requirement the Friday before, the jacket was purchased the day before the event at Jaques-Charles Pene. It fit exactly.

 

If you are still in doubt, go to your local Macy's, Nordstrom, or Dillards (if you have one nearby) and ask a salesperson in the men's suit department for a recommendation. If through quick thinking you realize that you already have what you need, just try something on to make the person feel like they haven't worked for nothing and say "ok, thanks - I want to look around a bit." If you don't already have what you need, you can buy something or go to your nearest Marshall's/TJMaxx/Nordstrom Rack and buy something there.

[gallahadesquire]

... or just go naked.

[+ azdr0710]

wow, I must be a real hick.....

 

semi-formal to me is a polo-style shirt instead of the t-shirt from the neighborhood bar I usually wear.....the khakis come out when I have a rare wedding or funeral to attend....last wore a tie when a new LDS temple opened up nearby and they had an open house for us Gentiles before it was locked up forever to us......

 

(of course, I'm hamming up the rube in me a bit)

 

[whipped guy]

I like your style Mr. @azdr0710 ! Well the last time someone saw me wearing shorts and a T-shirt. They remarked, "You're all dressed up. You must be going out somewhere."

[Despardo]

Traditionally (or maybe now historically) semi-formal meant tuxedo or "black tie." Formal meant dinner jacket or "white tie."

 

During a stay at a clothing optional resort, it occurred to me there that the question, "Should we dress for dinner?" took on an entirely new meaning.

 

A NY friend of mine owned a tux. Sometimes he would put it on and have a late night snack at the local diner (think Seinfeld) where people would assume he had just come from a swanky affair.

 

Some people get confused by the terms, "dressy" or "business casual." For either, it means that at the very least you need to wear socks.

 

Now I get to agonize over which clothes I should pack for Palm Springs on the 22nd.

[Epigonos]

I have always thought that traditionally formal for men meant black tails and white tie while semi-formal meant black jacket without tails and black tie. Business formal was a dark suit and business casual slack and a sports jacket or blazer.

In this day and age much depends on where the event is being held. In Southern California one can get away with just about anything. I've seen blue satin running shorts and red satin tank tops at opening night at the opera and ballet. NO restaurants in Southern California require a jacket or tie anymore. For my 60th birthday (fifteen years ago) I stipulated coat and tie for the men and you would have thought the world was coming to an end.

[body2body]

Also consider the time of day. If the wedding is held during the day, then a subdued sport coat, silk tie, dark slacks, solid shirt are fine. If the wedding is held during the evening then a dark suit is more appropriate.

[Kippy]

Also keep in mind that you know these folks-- do they stand on "casual ceremony"? Where is the ceremony and reception being held at? If the weather is hot the coat will come off quickly at most wedding receptions. If this crowd "dresses" all the time, the expectation for their friends and family will probably be the same. A summer wedding in Vermont sounds very nice but you may be headed to an old barn or orchard and not the Burlington Cathedral!

 

Happy Travels my friend!

 

Kipp

[kewtex]

Semi-formal = black tie. You might appear overdressed, but you won't be improperly dressed.

 

http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/dress-code.jpg

[AdamSmith]

One could intimidate with stripes and cutaways. Proper afternoon attire after all.

 

 

Overdressing is never out of style.

 

(I was irritated one time invited to be an usher at a friend's wedding, scheduled for 1:00 pm, outdoors during summer under bright sunshine, and he chose for us to wear rented black tuxedoes. Several of us remarking this was evening wear, and we would look like a flock of lost penguins, fell on deaf ears. The groom being one of those style-deaf souls who considered buying a shirt at Target instead of Walmart an extravagance.)

[+ purplekow]

When I got married, it was black tie optional. Most of my relatives were not suit wearers and they found it easy to rent a tuxedo and in the end, it was less expensive than a cheap suit and a rental tuxedo, while not elegant, usually looks good.

 

In this case, I would have the suit you own tailored and call it a day.

 

My goal at most weddings is to eat, drink and get reasonably well intoxicated, so while I may feel the need to be dressed to the crowd at the beginning, at the end of the evening, the tie is off, the shirt is unbuttoned at the neck and the jacket is over the chair. After all, it is a celebration not a fashion show.

[mike carey]

As I spent my working life wearing a uniform, I have owned a total of three 'ordinary' suits and a dinner jacket (i.e. 'black tie' suit). I have little use for either the one suit I now have—weddings, or more likely funerals—or the DJ. Getting your current suit adjusted so it fits better sounds like the way to go; go to a charity (second-hand) shop, you could well find a cheap suit there: I have bought some great dress shirts for next to nothing; or if you take a trip to Hong Kong treat yourself to a made to measure one. As others have said, it's rare that anyone has a problem for being over-dressed. As I've said elsewhere, I like to wear a jacket and tie on occasion when I travel.

[jawjateck]

For my 60th birthday (fifteen years ago) I stipulated coat and tie for the men and you would have thought the world was coming to an end.

 

Apocalyptic indeed!

 

Like azdr, it's all a matter of your locale. In my neck of the woods, business casual is overalls and work boots, semi-formal is pullover, wranglers or levis, and cowboy boots, and formal........<gasp>......is for marryings and buryings only.......a clip-on (color-coordination not applicable) plastered over a button down plaid (long-sleeve in Dec-Feb only) and khakis, which must always be purchased the day before the event. We rednecks know style.

[bigvalboy]

Where's @robberbaron4u when you need him?

[whipped guy]

Enough said... here's the ultimate authority...

 

 

Or even better... a reason not to overdo it...

 

[+ sync]

I would contact the author of the invitation explaining that I am uncertain about the criteria for "semi-formal / cocktail" attire, and could he/she please give me a definition.

[AdamSmith]

I would contact the author of the invitation explaining that I am uncertain about the criteria for "semi-formal / cocktail" attire, and could he/she please give me a definition.

COMMON SENSE!

 

Doesn't that violate the forum rules?

[LADoug1]

... or just go naked.

 

Is your cockring considered formal or semi formal?

[LADoug1]

I once was underdressed at a party and people thought I was a waiter. I think I went too far.

 

Seriously, you already have an appropriate blazer/pant combination. You don't have to buy anything new except maybe a shirt and tie. Both you and your wallet will appreciate it.