Wedding Attire = "Semi-Formal / Cocktail" - What is This?

[+ poolboy48220]

Actually, the Earl of Grantham is underdressed above - that's from an episode where something happened (can't remember what) to their white tie attire and they had to wear their black tie to dinner.

 

Miss Manners has written about this and abhors the ambiguous dress code words like on your invitation. I'm in agreement with Sync & Adam Smith, ask the hosts. Tell them "I was going to wear so-and-so, is that appropriate?"

 

I did have a laugh with a friend at her daughter's wedding about some other friends attending - "So, Bob and Nancy wore their FORMAL Green Bay Packers sweatshirts for the wedding?"

[robberbaron4u]

An event you should "pass" on. . .

[gallahadesquire]

The distinction of "black tie" being for evenings is well advanced. In college, I had to have both a white dinner jacket and a black tuxedo for concerts ... black in the winter, white in the summer. On particularly hot summer days, we were even allowed to doff our white coats for the performance. But formal pants, black shoes, and formal shirts were always required.

 

I made a deal with one of my biology TAs that, if I wore a tuxedo to lab, he'd give me an "A". Well, I did, and he did.

 

I know a Glee Club that has its members wear white tie and tails. If there are more than three of them, it's okay, but one solo looks like he lost his flock.

[whipped guy]

Actually, the Earl of Grantham is underdressed above - that's from an episode where something happened (can't remember what) to their white tie attire and they had to wear their black tie to dinner.

 

Miss Manners has written about this and abhors the ambiguous dress code words like on your invitation. I'm in agreement with Sync & Adam Smith, ask the hosts. Tell them "I was going to wear so-and-so, is that appropriate?"

 

I did have a laugh with a friend at her daughter's wedding about some other friends attending - "So, Bob and Nancy wore their FORMAL Green Bay Packers sweatshirts for the wedding?"

 

Regarding the Earl being underdressed... that makes more sense. However, that photo of the dowager countess does remind me of the time I saw saw a patient of mine at a wedding and thought that he was one of the waiters, he was all decked out in a black suit with a white shirt and black tie. He respectfully held the door open for me. I thanked him and we chatted for a while. I then realized that he was going out at the time with one of the other guests and was there as her guest. Incidentally, I was not the only one who made that particular mistake that night.

 

A few years ago a couple who had a very small private wedding decided to renew their vows a year later and invite all the family and friends who never were invited to the original ceremony. The initial word was that it was to be a very informal picnic type event. However, that changed and the decision was made to go much more formal. The invitations referenced a "tapas style" reception at a restaurant. Eveidentslly half of the people did not know what "tapas style" meant as they thought it referenced the very informal initial plans as easily 50 percent came dressed for a picnic. One friend came wearing a loud Hawian luau type shirt. His wife had on a black dress. I asked why he came informally dressed and she was dressed more appropriately. Her response was, "Look closely! Check out the material! This is a sun dress!" And it was on closer inspection! I did wear a jacket and tie as I had been tipped off that the event was going to be more formsl, which given the venue chosen was actually a no brainer. Still a good time was had by all!!

[TruthBTold]

. . . Getting your current suit adjusted so it fits better sounds like the way to go; go to a charity (second-hand) shop, you could well find a cheap suit there: I have bought some great dress shirts for next to nothing . . .

 

Good advice. Particularly if you go out to the wealthier suburbs. I have been amazed at the things that are donated to places like Salvation Army.

[Rudynate]

Traditionally (or maybe now historically) semi-formal meant tuxedo or "black tie." Formal meant dinner jacket or "white tie."

 

During a stay at a clothing optional resort, it occurred to me there that the question, "Should we dress for dinner?" took on an entirely new meaning.

 

A NY friend of mine owned a tux. Sometimes he would put it on and have a late night snack at the local diner (think Seinfeld) where people would assume he had just come from a swanky affair.

 

Some people get confused by the terms, "dressy" or "business casual." For either, it means that at the very least you need to wear socks.

 

Now I get to agonize over which clothes I should pack for Palm Springs on the 22nd.

 

 

To me, "white tie" calls for white bow tie, white vest, tails and patent leather shoes. "Black tie" is a black bow tie, tuxedo or dinner jacket, cummerbund, patent leather shoes. Of course, hardly anybody has occasion to dress that way anymore. A dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie will nearly always work if you have to dress up. The last time I dressed that way, I was a waiter in the gourmet dining room at the Petroleum Club. When I got hired, they sent me to a tailor to get two tuxedos made.

[whipped guy]

Good advice. Particularly if you go out to the wealthier suburbs. I have been amazed at the things that are donated to places like Salvation Army.

Funny, but that especially true with women's apparel in wealthier areas. There's no way a rich *itch is going to be seen wearing something from last year's designer collection this year!! No way! Men are usually not overly concerned about such matters. As such, there are not as many Goodwill or Salvation Army bargains to be had for guys. Of course given the fact that I'm happy wearing a pair of gym shorts and not much else, I could care less.

[Rudynate]

Funny, but that especially true with women's apparel in weathier areas. There's no way a rich *itch is going to be seen wearing something from last year's designer collection this year!! No way! Men are usually not overly concerned about such matters. As such, there are not as many Goodwill or Salvation Army bargains to be had for guys. Of course given the fact that I'm happy wearing a pair of gym shorts and not much else, I could care less.

 

 

Consignment stores can be a good place to buy nice quality use clothing. Here in SF, there's a consignment store close to Pacific Heights where you can buy unbelievable things at unbelievable prices. A friend of mine bought a cashmere top coat there for $100.00.

[+ Gar1eth]

I have always thought that traditionally formal for men meant black tails and white tie while semi-formal meant black jacket without tails and black tie. Business formal was a dark suit and business casual slack and a sports jacket or blazer.

In this day and age much depends on where the event is being held. In Southern California one can get away with just about anything. I've seen blue satin running shorts and red satin tank tops at opening night at the opera and ballet. NO restaurants in Southern California require a jacket or tie anymore. For my 60th birthday (fifteen years ago) I stipulated coat and tie for the men and you would have thought the world was coming to an end.

The only thing I know really is that 'white tails' i.e. white tuxedo, are even more formal then black.

 

Gman

[marylander1940]

Just received an expected invite to a summer wedding in Vermont. The invite indicated the attire was "semi-formal / cocktail". What in the hell does that mean?

 

I've done the obligatory Google search and don't see a consistency. A lot indicate a dark, tailored suit with a dress shirt and tie is needed. Other sites indicate a muted / dark sport coat with dress slacks is acceptable. While I have a dark suit, it is not tailored and not for comfortable for me. I really don't want to purchase a new suit since the next time I'd wear it is when I'm in my casket.

 

I have a couple of nice sports coat / dress slack combinations that are comfortable for me wear. Any thoughts on if that would be appropriate?

 

I think it means no tuxedos, and the tie is optional but I would keep it in my pocket.

 

 

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[+ pitman]

http://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1392432620p2/10264.jpg

“I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.”

 

― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

[+ Gar1eth]

The distinction of "black tie" being for evenings is well advanced. In college, I had to have both a white dinner jacket and a black tuxedo for concerts ... black in the winter, white in the summer. On particularly hot summer days, we were even allowed to doff our white coats for the performance. But formal pants, black shoes, and formal shirts were always required.

 

I made a deal with one of my biology TAs that, if I wore a tuxedo to lab, he'd give me an "A". Well, I did, and he did.

 

Were you ever able to get the formaldehyde smell out of the tux?

 

Gman

[whipped guy]

Were you ever able to get the formaldehyde smell out of the tux?

 

Gman

Reminds me of the pair of jeans and matching blue shirt that I worn to organic chemistry lab one whole semester and wore them only to that class. At the end of the year I literally tossed them into the garbage as the smell never washed out. Wise decision as I realized early on that the odor was totally impregnated into the fabric and that it would be better to destroy one pair of jeans and one shirt rather than multiples. Of course one of the compounds that I was assigned to make was triethylamine... a component of decaying dead fish....

 

http://www.chemspider.com/ImagesHandler.ashx?id=8158&w=250&h=250

[Rudynate]

Reminds me of the pair of jeans and matching blue shirt that I worn to organic chemistry lab one whole semester and wore them only to that class. At the end of the year I literally tossed them into the garbage as the smell never washed out. Wise decision as I realized early on that the odor was totally impregnated into the fabric and that it would be better to destroy one pair of jeans and one shirt rather than multiples. Of course one of the compounds that I was assigned to make was triethylamine... a component of decaying dead fish....

 

http://www.chemspider.com/ImagesHandler.ashx?id=8158&w=250&h=250

 

 

You could have started a meth lab instead of becoming a dentist.

[+ purplekow]

Where's @robberbaron4u when you need him?

Being measured for a suit in Italy.

[gallahadesquire]

The only thing I know really is that 'white tails' i.e. white tuxedo, are even more formal then black.

 

Gman

 

No no no no no. It's not called a "white tuxedo", it's a "formal white dinner jacket," and (I believe) may be worn in the afternoon, but is definitley all right between Memorial Day and Labor Day at evening events. If you meant "White Tie," that's a cutback formal coat and waistcoat. If you mean a white formal coat, then you're directing a '30's jazz band.

 

http://www.tinytux.com/cart/images/white_tails.jpg

[whipped guy]

You could have started a meth lab instead of becoming a dentist.

Heaven knows that more than one person over the years tried to use me as their "supplier"! They never got to first base... Others actually went to an oral surgeon to have a perfectly sound extracted just to get the pain meds associated with the procedure... The more devious would fake pain the and want a root canal so they would not have to loose the tooth as part of the deal. Ask if they ever finished or paid for the procedure!!! Gonna write a book one day!!!

[whipped guy]

No no no no no. It's not called a "white tuxedo", it's a "formal white dinner jacket," and (I believe) may be worn in the afternoon, but is definitley all right between Memorial Day and Labor Day at evening events. If you meant "White Tie," that's a cutback formal coat and waistcoat. If you mean a white formal coat, then you're directing a '30's jazz band.

 

http://www.tinytux.com/cart/images/white_tails.jpg

Personally I'll stick with my gym shorts and wife beater... However for those more formal occasions I will substitute a tank top.

[Rudynate]

Heaven knows that more than one person over the years tried to use me as their "supplier"! They never got to first base... Others actually went to an oral surgeon to have a perfectly sound extracted just to get the pain meds associated with the procedure... The more devious would fake pain the and want a root canal so they would not have to loose the tooth as part of the deal. Ask if they ever finished or paid for the procedure!!! Gonna write a book one day!!!

 

 

Getting a perfectly good tooth pulled for a few vicodins? That IS desperate.

[bigvalboy]

I think it means no tuxedos, and the tie is optional but I would keep it in my pocket.

 

 

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I say #3 fits nicely into "semi-formal"

[+ Funguy]

Whatever you decide to wear, it MUST be well-tailored! There is nothing (well, almost) worse that a jacket (suit or otherwise) that looks ill-fitting, riding up the shoulders, pulling at the waist, etc. You can get away with a sport coat easily, if it fits perfectly. Same with pants. Put it all (suit or sport coat) together and you'll look great!

 

My only problem with #3 is the jacket pulls at the button; otherwise, a great look.

[+ purplekow]

I have had two custom made suits. One was when I was about 35 and decided that I needed to have a very nice well fitting suit. Problem with that is that the suit did not change sizes when I did.

The other suit was a custom made suit by mail. I was attending the Pimp and Ho Party in Vegas and I decided to get a yellow zoot suit made for the occasion. I found a custom tailoring Zoot suit site on line and contacted them. They sent me a form for my measurements and I went to a tailor to be measured. For $200 I had a very nice yellow zoot suit that fit perfectly. A black shirt, yellow tie and a yellow fedora and I was the Bee man with a few B girls. Party was at the Palm and it was great fun.

[+ poolboy48220]

When I worked at a restaurant in college, our busboy uniform was a red shirt, black vest and pants, and a black bow tie. Prom night, some guy came in wearing that same outfit. Embarrassing how many waitresses pulled him aside when he got up from the table and asked him to clean off one of their tables.

[+ WmClarke]

Wear whatever the hell you want. If it pisses them off, they're not worth having as friends.

[AdamSmith]

Good advice. Particularly if you go out to the wealthier suburbs. I have been amazed at the things that are donated to places like Salvation Army.

Yeah! A thrift store up the street has three nice tuxedoes on the rack right now for like $29.