Finding Out an Escort's Real Identity

[samandtham]

Hello, everyone.

 

I'm in a bit of a pickle.

 

Through a photo that he posted on his escorting Twitter account, and some not-very-difficult sleuthing, I was able to find out the identity of a guy that I'm seeing next month for an overnight. By this I mean I was able to find his real social media accounts—he participates in them almost daily.

 

Our first time seeing each other was only for 2 hours, so we didn't really chat much. This time around, we'll be together for about 12 hours, and obviously not all of it will be intimate. I asked that when we're not in bed that we'd hit up a local bar and just drink and talk.

 

Because I feel relaxed around the guy, I highly doubt I'll be able to stop myself from uttering something from his not-escort life, if not at the beginning of the overnight, most definitely once I've had a few beers or wines in my system.

http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/video/video.snl.com/SNL_1606_10_Surprise.png

On one hand, I'm pretty sure he'll be cool with it. On the other, he might freak out.

 

My question is a very broad one, but I think it's most pertinent: Should I tell him that I know or should I just let things happen and hope for the best?

[down_to_business]

I would keep it to yourself. What possible good can you foresee coming from revealing the information? Do you think it will impress him?

 

Tip #2. Don't drink to the point that you lose control.

[Beancounter]

Discretion is the better part of valor.

 

My ex-secretary used to be one of those people who would always come to me with "personal information" about other office employees. She never did figure out why she was the "ignored" and "hated" employee in the office. Nobody likes a know-it-all and especially one that lets you know that he knows it all. My advice to the OP is to enjoy your escort's company and stuff a bandana in your mouth.

[mike carey]

I would keep it to yourself. What possible good can you foresee coming from revealing the information? Do you think it will impress him?

 

Tip #2. Don't drink to the point that you lose control.

Agree, keep it to yourself and don't put yourself in a position where you might inadvertently let slip things you have discovered. You may well find, however, that he discloses some of these things when you are chatting. Don't let on that you already knew. Also don't look at his personal stuff again before your meeting - if you do that, your recollections may blur so you will be less inclined to speak of them during your meeting.

[Becket]

Let him lead you into what he wants to reveal about himself. There are a hundred reasons why an escort needs to keep his privacy. If privacy is really important to him and you mention what you know, you might ruin the vibe for the entire experience. My experience is that at first it felt thrilling to know an escorts real identity. But after about ten minutes it was no big deal. If you're doing an overnight you have lots of other things to spend your time doing than worrying about this.

[gallahadesquire]

Keep your mouth open but don't talk

[MikeyGMin]

Let him lead you into what he wants to reveal about himself. There are a hundred reasons why an escort needs to keep his privacy. If privacy is really important to him and you mention what you know, you might ruin the vibe for the entire experience. My experience is that at first it felt thrilling to know an escorts real identity. But after about ten minutes it was no big deal. If you're doing an overnight you have lots of other things to spend your time doing than worrying about this.

 

+1000

 

For the life of me I will never understand why people do this kind of sleuthing. Checking the review sites and anything related to their professional reputation is understandable, but the kind of sleuthing that so many people do is just a nice word for stalking and it puts you in this exact awkward situation.

 

I understand an image search if you think the guy might be using someone else's pictures, but that's where I end it. It is sloppy on their part if they have the same photos on their personal and professional accounts, but I would stop immediately if I hit their personal Facebook account and never say a word that would make them uncomfortable.

 

Just like most clients want to control the release of their personal information, the pros should be afforded the same courtesy. It also makes it kind of special when / if they choose to reveal things of a personal nature.

[Rod Hagen]

Clients pop up in my FB "you may know" section, and I pop up in their's; it's a stupid world. As the saying goes: They promised us flying cars, we got 140 characters.

Edited February 6, 2018 by Rod Hagen

[+ Charlie]

In casual conversation once with an escort after the act, I happened to mention something that another escort, a friend of his, had told me about him. While it was nothing embarrassing or intimate, the atmosphere in our chat quickly turned frosty. I would avoid speaking about anything personal that he hasn't already told you or at least implied.

[MiamiLooker]

+1000

 

For the life of me I will never understand why people do this kind of sleuthing.

 

I agree. Especially, since Rentmen, M4RN, A4A etc. have policies in place to perform criminal background checks of their advertisers to make sure their advertisers can be trusted, and none of them are scammers, or worse yet, thieves or murderers. :rolleyes:

[wisconsinguy]

It may be part of our nature that we want to know something about the people we "bed down" with. My first encounter was an extended weekend. During that time there were extended periods of time in which we both shared our lives. Prior to meeting, I did not do ANY type of background checking or social media checking. Come to find out, he did on me! And, he lots of info to collect. We still hoot over that one. As I say, I do not look good in orange! We all come from a history, and I would refrain from just bringing it up. Perhaps conversation will just flow naturally, and he will feel comfortable with you to be more oral than just what you hired him for!?!

[+ poolboy48220]

a local masseur I've seen a few times keeps popping up in my Facebook 'suggested friends' list, probably because his phone number is in my contacts, so I know his real name.

[Tigger]

 

For the life of me I will never understand why people do this kind of sleuthing. Checking the review sites and anything related to their professional reputation is understandable, but the kind of sleuthing that so many people do is just a nice word for stalking and it puts you in this exact awkward situation.

 

I'll take the opposite view. I think it's self-protection.

Just like most clients want to control the release of their personal information, the pros should be afforded the same courtesy. It also makes it kind of special when / if they choose to reveal things of a personal nature.

When you think about it, being with an escort is not a normal type of situation. Here you are most likely carrying large sums of money around a complete stranger that you usually know very little about. In my case these guys are almost always younger, and they are definitely in much better shape than I am. You might be without clothing in their presence making you even more vulnerable.

 

I lost my Kindle e-reader over Christmas at a California airport. I contacted the Lost & Found, but it was never turned in. If you can't even trust humanity to turn in a freaking Kindle to Lost & Found, how much more potential danger is there in meeting an unknown person while carrying large sums of cash.

 

I agree. Especially, since Rentmen, M4RN, A4A etc. have policies in place to perform criminal background checks of their advertisers to make sure their advertisers can be trusted, and none of them are scammers, or worse yet, thieves or murderers. :rolleyes:

 

Years ago, long before Facebook, Twitter, Image Search, and the like, I found out, I don't remember how, some information that made me not want to hire the guy. I remember being very glad I had found out.

 

But under no circumstances @samandtham should you reveal what you know.

[MikeyGMin]

In my case these guys are almost always younger, and they are definitely in much better shape than I am.

 

On that we agree. If they weren't...I wouldn't be paying them.

[whipped guy]

It may be part of our nature that we want to know something about the people we "bed down" with. My first encounter was an extended weekend. During that time there were extended periods of time in which we both shared our lives. Prior to meeting, I did not do ANY type of background checking or social media checking. Come to find out, he did on me! And, he lots of info to collect. We still hoot over that one. As I say, I do not look good in orange! We all come from a history, and I would refrain from just bringing it up. Perhaps conversation will just flow naturally, and he will feel comfortable with you to be more oral than just what you hired him for!?!

Big LOL @wisconsinguy!!! I know that story only too well! And to think I thought that the othe WG was this sweet and harmless guy when we first met. Seriously, it all proves that it's often not a good idea to be a sleuth. It also says that even though the escort did check the other WG out, he instinctively knew that he was a good and quite decent individual. But then again the nefarious wisconsinguy might have fooled the both of us! Just kidding or course!

 

In any event, if a guy tells me about himself and his real name that's fine with me, if not that's fine as well. Heck if you go to an escort's apartment or home it's easy to do a google search. There is absolutely no privacy anymore in that regard. Sleuthing is something that I don't need to do. There is only one escort who has come to my home a number of times. It's funny, but every time that he does so I have to tell him the address. Perhaps he knows more about me than I think that he knows, but at least he does not make me feel that as far as my address is concerned that he has it listed in some sort of little infamous black book that will someday be turned over to TMZ!

 

One final thought... Once I was talking with an escort lying there after the fact and he said to me that when he was a kid his mother would always say, "Arthur, stop doing that or you're going to get in trouble!" He then added, "Oh, now you know my real name. I have always hated that name!" Yet, other escorts indeed use their real first names. Others give it to you upon first meeting. Others prefer their stage name. Either way it works for me.

 

Oh, to the OP... SILENCE IS GOLDEN!

[manTOman]

I'm going to offer a somewhat different perspective.

Everyone googles everyone. Not just escorts and clients, but co-workers, bosses, childhood friends, neighbors, in-laws etc. Whether that makes them stalkers or not is not the point. Everyone does it. So please if you're an escort who cares about hiding his real identity don't post the same photos in your profile that you post in your other social media accounts. If you do people will find out. And it's not only clients. A lot more people look at those sites than the guys who actually hire, and they all are vey capable of doing a simple image search. Welcome to the electronic age. Once you put your picture out there it's in public domain. So choose wisely! It's in your control until you put it out there.

 

Now as for the OP, I think you should tell him and here's why. He's either aware of it and won't care or he is not and will be grateful that you've told him. The worst case scenario is that he doesn't want to see you again, but at least he'll be aware that his own privacy is easily compromised.

12 hours is a long time and if you accidently divulge something, it will definitely make you look like a stalker, not to mention that it would almost guarantee that he doesn't want to see you again. Plus will you be able to relax and have a good time while constantly being cautious of everything you say?

Option three - if you do go through with it and don't say anything, then he continues to live under a pretense that he's identity is well guarded when in fact everyone in the world can easily figure it out.

 

For me personally knowing an escorts real name makes me very uncomfortable and regardless of if I've hired him previously or not I will tell him. If that makes me a stalker so be it. I know I'm in minority but it's just my two cents.

 

Finally we often see this question but we rarely hear from the escorts. So here it is guys: If someone found out your real name would you want them to tell you?

[Tigger]

 

For me personally knowing an escorts real name makes me very uncomfortable and regardless of if I've hired him previously or not I will tell him. If that makes me a stalker so be it. I know I'm in minority but it's just my two cents.

 

 

 

I'm wondering whether this discomfort might be the same as a married guy who has a one time affair-and is burdened with conscience to tell his spouse. Whom are you really helping? You because you can lay your conscience to rest for the supposed no-no of having found out the escort's info. But if the escort isn't escorting under his real name, are you really helping him by letting him know you know something he'd rather wasn't public knowledge? You are most likely only going to make him uncomfortable with you. It sounds like a way to ruin a session with me. Of course if you are a long established client possibly it would be OK to tell the escort. But even then in a long term 'relationship' if the escort hasn't told the client anything, perhaps he still wouldn't like the client knowing private information.

 

One of the smartest escorts I was ever with surprised me with information about me. (He didn't do it himself, but he had a computer savvy friend or worshipper. I was never quite clear on that. ). I didn't really care that much because he seemed like a trustworthy guy. I had already told him my name.

 

I don't know how many people know this. But sometimes I've come across knowledge inadvertently. It's all due to the evils of Facebook and of smartphones. Years ago after I bought my first or second iPhone and started keeping my Contacts info on it, I noticed that a lot of my escort listings would pop up with another name on the page. I figured out that these people had signed up for Facebook with their phone number. There is an option that in effect syncs your Contacts List with Facebook. Once that's done-POOF- your Contact Page lists the name the escort is under on his Facebook page. Some escorts are on Facebook under their 'stage name' like AJ Irons. So in his case it doesn't matter.

 

Facebook has also sent me emails of possible people I might know inadvertently giving me the names of escorts. I'm sure this is because Facebook has matched emails or phone numbers from my contact list.

 

Who needs a government Big Brother when now we have Facebook and Google trying to track us across multiple websites?

[+ Keith30309]

Years ago after I bought my first or second iPhone and started keeping my Contacts info on it, I noticed that a lot of my escort listings would pop up with another name on the page. I figured out that these people had signed up for Facebook with their phone number. There is an option that in effect syncs your Contacts List with Facebook. Once that's done-POOF- your Contact Page lists the name the escort is under on his Facebook page. Some escorts are on Facebook under their 'stage name' like AJ Irons. So in his case it doesn't matter.

 

This is very interesting (and scary, but forewarned is forearmed).

 

I'd like to think I'm fairly discreet and personal info would only be available to someone who 1) is technically adept, and, 2) who REALLY wants to know badly, but recursively aggregating and correlating data and meta-data can lead to surprising places. I may not be as isolated as I think.

 

For those who have found information about others how was the data aggregated? Obviously Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr can all reveal info my matching photos and phone numbers.

What other ways does this happen?

 

What say ye, technical wizards?

[whipped guy]

[

 

I don't know how many people know this. But sometimes I've come across knowledge inadvertently. It's all due to the evils of Facebook and of smartphones. Years ago after I bought my first or second iPhone and started keeping my Contacts info on it, I noticed that a lot of my escort listings would pop up with another name on the page. I figured out that these people had signed up for Facebook with their phone number. There is an option that in effect syncs your Contacts List with Facebook. Once that's done-POOF- your Contact Page lists the name the escort is under on his Facebook page. Some escorts are on Facebook under their 'stage name' like AJ Irons. So in his case it doesn't matter.

 

Facebook has also sent me emails of possible people I might know inadvertently giving me the names of escorts. I'm sure this is because Facebook has matched emails or phone numbers from my contact list.

 

Who needs a government Big Brother when now we have Facebook and Google trying to track us across multiple websites?

 

Another reason not to get involved with the insanity that is known as Facebook. And it is beyond insanity in my estimation!!! I do have an account but only to preserve my Slotomainia winnings! I otherwise totally ignore it and use a different email which I never check. Of course I probably have missed out on making quite a few "friends", but that's friends in quotes.

[Irtwo]

... but I would stop immediately if I hit their personal Facebook account and never say a word that would make them uncomfortable.

 

Totally agree on the second part of your statement on not saying anything... but your first part is amazing to me. You really would stop if you came to something personal and not even look?! Very few people would have that self control.

[MikeyGMin]

Totally agree on the second part of your statement on not saying anything... but your first part is amazing to me. You really would stop if you came to something personal and not even look?! Very few people would have that self control.

 

Really and truly. I think it's more about guilt avoidance than it is self control. I would really be burdened by information that was not willingly shared, so stumbling upon it would be a shock and I would immediately abort.

 

Over the many months that I have been seeing a particular person, he has shared his full name with me. (It just came up over the course of many conversations.) I know he has a personal Facebook account, and I have honestly never looked for it once. I follow everything he does in his professional social media though. Fan or stalker? I can't quite decide.

[BabyBoomer]

Fan or stalker?

 

Client.

 

~ Boomer ~

[+ José Soplanucas]

I'm going to offer a somewhat different perspective.

Everyone googles everyone. Not just escorts and clients, but co-workers, bosses, childhood friends, neighbors, in-laws etc. Whether that makes them stalkers or not is not the point. Everyone does it. So please if you're an escort who cares about hiding his real identity don't post the same photos in your profile that you post in your other social media accounts. If you do people will find out. And it's not only clients. A lot more people look at those sites than the guys who actually hire, and they all are vey capable of doing a simple image search. Welcome to the electronic age. Once you put your picture out there it's in public domain. So choose wisely! It's in your control until you put it out there.

 

Now as for the OP, I think you should tell him and here's why. He's either aware of it and won't care or he is not and will be grateful that you've told him. The worst case scenario is that he doesn't want to see you again, but at least he'll be aware that his own privacy is easily compromised.

12 hours is a long time and if you accidently divulge something, it will definitely make you look like a stalker, not to mention that it would almost guarantee that he doesn't want to see you again. Plus will you be able to relax and have a good time while constantly being cautious of everything you say?

Option three - if you do go through with it and don't say anything, then he continues to live under a pretense that he's identity is well guarded when in fact everyone in the world can easily figure it out.

 

For me personally knowing an escorts real name makes me very uncomfortable and regardless of if I've hired him previously or not I will tell him. If that makes me a stalker so be it. I know I'm in minority but it's just my two cents.

 

Finally we often see this question but we rarely hear from the escorts. So here it is guys: If someone found out your real name would you want them to tell you?

 

Really? Everyone googles everyone? You may be right, but I hope you are not. I have googled very few people, and it was always because of professional reasons, not to find personal stuff but to check professional achievements, as I am in a position where some times I participate in the hiring process in my job. I never googled an escort, and I have no interest in doing it. When I vet an escort I use this forum, and I may use google to check his pictures and look for reviews, but never looked for personal stuff. If my boys want to share, great, but I do respect their privacy.

To the OP, I would follow the advice of those who advocate for your silence.

[Kuriousity]

Hello, everyone.

 

I'm in a bit of a pickle.

 

Through a photo that he posted on his escorting Twitter account, and some not-very-difficult sleuthing, I was able to find out the identity of a guy that I'm seeing next month for an overnight. By this I mean I was able to find his real social media accounts—he participates in them almost daily.

 

Our first time seeing each other was only for 2 hours, so we didn't really chat much. This time around, we'll be together for about 12 hours, and obviously not all of it will be intimate. I asked that when we're not in bed that we'd hit up a local bar and just drink and talk.

 

Because I feel relaxed around the guy, I highly doubt I'll be able to stop myself from uttering something from his not-escort life, if not at the beginning of the overnight, most definitely once I've had a few beers or wines in my system.

http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/video/video.snl.com/SNL_1606_10_Surprise.png

On one hand, I'm pretty sure he'll be cool with it. On the other, he might freak out.

 

My question is a very broad one, but I think it's most pertinent: Should I tell him that I know or should I just let things happen and hope for the best?

 

 

My advice is this--Cancel the appointment...NOW. By your own admission, you do not know how to shut up when alcohol enters an equation, and blabbing that you know an escort's real identity is you on your knees in kneepads BEGGING for trouble. Furthermore, I call "bullshit" on your "cyber-sleuthing"....my view is you were actively looking.

 

Tip to renters--Unless an escort wants you knowing his life story/bidness/etc....keep your nose out of it.

[manTOman]

@latbear4blk when I said everyone I meant not just in the escorting world. Why do bosses always want to befriend you on FB? I've seen people at the office snooping at each other instagrams and twitters and starting gossip where there's none. We can refrain from it, but to neglect that it's out there is kind of pointless. It doesn't matter if it's 100% or 50% or 10% of guys that do it, but it's being done. And I'm not talking about major investigating skills but a simple image search. We've also heard numerous times of escorts googling up client's phone numbers and addresses. I could say that it's wrong and not to do it, but I think it's more important to be aware that it can be done.

 

I've googled guys in the past, mostly new guys, to see if they're legit or real. It wasn't to find out about their personal life but if I did stumble upon it I would let them know. It happened twice with the guys I haven't hired and they were grateful. There was also a guy I saw a few times and then I stumbled upon one of his social media accounts. And I did let him know, too, and he was still willing to see me afterwards, although I knew there was a risk that he might not. This is just my perspective and what I have done in a similar situation to OP's. It doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do, but it is the option I chose in the past. And I do feel that if my photo was circulating out there with my personal information attached to it I would want to know.