Recognizing Your Customers Birthday

[rocky]

OK, so I may have been here once before so I apologize but I'm looking for some guidance. Wow, today is my birthday, yippee I turn 62, I've been seeing an escort for 15 years, almost weekly, and also travel, cruising ,etc. So as Christmas rolled around, and mind you I'm in upstate NY so my person I see is out of town, around 70 miles but we spend about every friday together, anyhow, I give gifts and spend well generously but within my means, we talk about the week to follow, New Years Eve, will he be visiting, I talk about my birthday..so here it comes, no happy birthday, no text, no email nothing. Now, am I becoming overly sensitive, on the same time I asked if he wanted to join me at my birthday dinner with my sisters (nope they dont' know I'm gay but know I have many friends); so my birthday isn't a surprise. I ask you, give me your thoughts. Am I unrealistic to expect a "hi" via text or someplace? Plus on my facebook, which he is there, I've had hundreds of happy birthdays. time to cut the cord?

[+ azdr0710]

last time my birthday rolled around, I didn't even realize it until about 11am that day.....

 

no, I'm not senile...it just isn't a big deal anymore.....

 

only you know your guy enough to decide whether to let it slide or not....probably a good-natured joke or nudge during this Friday's get-together might jolt him into acknowledging it??....has he said "happy birthday" any of the past 14 years??

 

oh, by the way.....happy birthday!!

[rocky]

Yes I considering that, but you know, lots of "contributions" have exchanged hand; just a hey would have been nice.

[big-n-tall]

As much as I love my friends and family... they don't always remember my birthday. Some people are just horrible at remembering things. As much as I would love not having to remind them, it's just a fact of life that I have to deal with sometimes.

 

I have befriended some working guys. Some have a vague recollection of my birthday. Sometimes they remember, sometimes they don't. Some wish me Happy Birthday, but miss it by a day or two or ever. Some, I'm shocked remember and I only mentioned it once to them in passing.

 

What it all boils down to is try not to take it personally. I understand that you have given him gifts and such, but unless you make it a point for him to remember he may not. If you feel slighted that he can't remember, either you should maybe pull away because you're maybe becoming too emotionally attached... or drill it into his head to remember your birthday.

[mattr]

Perhaps you could "forget" your contribution and then thank him for the "birthday gift". Happy Birthday to you.

[mike carey]

Happy birthday, Rocky!

 

After 14 years I would have thought that the two of you had settled into a pattern, but remember you pay him for your time together not for him to maintain contact between meetings, even for birthdays. If he has always noted your birthday in the past, his failure to do so this time has some significance, not necessarily bad. Any contact he has with you between meetings is aimed at maintaining his business relationship. He may genuinely care about you but that would be a secondary consideration. I second Big-n-tall's observation that if you feel slighted, maybe you are becoming too emotionally involved.

 

For all the contact that you've had with him during, and maybe between meetings, remember that not everyone puts the same weight on a specific occasion. Birthdays might not figure for him, he might see, say, random flirtatious texts as a better way to contact you between meetings. if he hasn't made a habit of contacting you for your birthday, his failure to do so this time is not all that significant. Even if he had contacted you on most birthdays, he may have been doing it as a special effort to keep you interested, and now think your business relationship is well enough established to let birthday wishes slide, without realising how significant those wishes were to you.

 

Good luck with this.

[craigville beach]

first off, happy birthday. I hope it is a good one. Next, I regret to inform you, you are not that special for the escort. He is looking at you as just another paycheck. sorry. but that is the way it is.

[MikeyGMin]

first off, happy birthday. I hope it is a good one. Next, I regret to inform you, you are not that special for the escort. He is looking at you as just another paycheck. sorry. but that is the way it is.

 

Ouch. Almost weekly for 15 years? How could it have that kind of life span without any kind of friendship developing?

 

Regardless for the OP. The fact that it hurts you means you probably need to assess the arrangement. I don't know how you couldn't be attached after 15 years, but maybe it's time to regain perspective.

[+ WmClarke]

It might not matter.

 

Sometimes I forget to wish my own father happy birthday. That's life. Some years, I get a present to him in the mail early. That's the way it was with him all my life--sometimes he remembers my birthday; sometimes he forgets. I don't take it personally--but I have the excuse that he started the pattern first.

 

In your situation, if he's remembered every year recently and didn't this year, maybe he just forgot. It happens. Or are there some other clues that it's suddenly just business for him now?

 

If he's never remembered before, why w0uld this year be any different? Yes, with the talk and all the facebook reminders, it's a little irksome to get nothing. And, yes, it could even be a little troubling. But it is possible, however unlikely, he just forgot. I tend to give people to the benefit of the doubt (just an optimist that way, I guess).

 

Regardless, if you see him again you need to bring it up. Otherwise, it'll eat away at you. I would just bring it up in a light-hearted manner ("My bday was great, but it would have been even better if favorite guy had sent a happy bday text').

[jackjackjack]

I'm sorry but if I was seeing an escort as often as you described, I'd be very disappointed. However, you've been seeing him for 15 years. I'm assuming he hasn't acknowledged your birthday in all those years. If he hasn't, why care now?

[+ purplekow]

There really is no excuse for not remembering a birthday if you want to remember it. Cell phones, computers, handwritten calendars, hell even here on Daddy's birthdays are noted. This guy is an ass. Now if he has a nice ass, you may choose to ignore this slight. If after 15 years his ass is lower to ground than yours, then it may be time to trade in him for a new model with the electronic calendar feature optioned in.

[down_to_business]

Maybe a bit unrealistic to expect it, but definitely not unreasonable to hope for it. As others have pointed out... he "just is not that in to you". I'd hire someone new and explore my feelings after that. How did it make me feel. Did I miss him and want to hire him more or did I forget all about his ungrateful ass altogether? Then I would proceed accordingly.

[jawjateck]

rocky, seems to me that you need a new playmate.

[LADoug1]

Some of these posts are quite harsh. It boils down to someone close to you who may have just forgotten your big day. I have (more often than I care to share) forgotten birthdays but have made up for it belatedly. This might be the case with him. You obviously have a close relationship so it isn't unreasonable to share that you were hurt by his not remembering. THEN see what happens.

[+ Funguy]

Tell him you wished your birthday was on Friday so you could celebrate together.

[+ poolboy48220]

It seems I'm in the minority here, but as I get older, birthdays are less and less a big deal. It's nice when people wish me a happy birthday but I don't expect it and certainly don't keep track of who did and who didn't. Particular date celebrations as a whole are becoming less & less a part of my life - we did Christmas with the family the day after Christmas because that's when everyone could be together, and I didn't go out for New Year's Eve last night. Birthdays, to me, are more of a leftover celebration from childhood.

[Edward]

Ok Rocky, Birthdays are at least somewhat important to you or you would not be mentioning it here. Hiring an escort is somewhat like the job I hah for thirty years. ( I am only 32) You do your job for thirty years an you get your pay check and at the end I got retirement. Not a lot of thanks along the way. So back to the issue at hand. You hire this guy for 15 years. He does his job and you pay him. Apparently he does not see you as a friend. Just a client. So you can either keep the relationship going as is or you can change it. I think what you are really looking for is a personal relationship. You are not getting if from him. So either enjoy your time together. Client - escort relationship. Or find you a new boy that hopefully will be more in tune to your feelings. What you really are looking for is a relationship. Find a lover if you want someone to remember your birthday.

[rocky]

Everyone as always has been nice. Well I get a text on New Years Eve, of course the night for out weekly get together and i showed no resist, I said, thanks for wishing me a happy birthday a day late, a little smirk, but kept it up, I did let him know, look, I don't mind being a sugar daddy but at least treat me with some respect.

[Mel]

Rocky, my heart goes out to you. 15 yrs, weekly, is a seriously long time to get to know someone. I don't believe it's possible to know someone that long without developing some kind of feelings, whether platonic, or more.

 

I feel he should have wished you, IF he usually does so. If he doesn't usually, then this is no big deal, even if you mentioned it. If you wanted him to, you should have been specific.

 

I'm in kinda a similar situation. I didn't get a Christmas present because he wanted to get me underwear and I wouldn't have been able to explain it at home. I would have thought he'd take a moment to consider some other gift - cookies, something I can keep at work, a pack of gum, anything lol.

 

...so I feel your pain!

 

Good luck whatever you decide.

[Rudynate]

I would be very flattered if a favorite guy remembered my birthday. But he would first have to know it.

[N13]

Still would like an answer to the question as to what he has done in the past.

[Mikegaite]

I was horrible about remembering birthdays in 2015, but this thread inspired me to turn over a new leaf for 2016.

 

And so tomorrow (January 7th) is Gman's birthday! Let's all wish him well.

[N13]

Happy birthday Gman!

[geminibear]

Happy Birthday Gman @Gar1eth

[BabyBoomer]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!

 

~Boomer ~