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I hesitated to tell you I was gay because you are old.


purplekow
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I saw someone today and in the course of conversation he mentioned a partner. In referring back to the partner, I said said "he" and the person was taken aback. He asked why I assumed his partner was a man and I said, straight men usually do not use the term partner for their live ins. I asked him why he was taken aback and he said that he was out since he was 17 but he does not usually come out to old people (like me) because they are the more frequent purveyors of disdain.

So

 

#1 Do straight men ever call their girlfriend their "partner"?

#2 Do you utilize the age of the other conversant as a criterion in deciding to discuss being gay?

#3 Am I really old?

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I saw someone today and in the course of conversation he mentioned a partner. In referring back to the partner, I said said "he" and the person was taken aback. He asked why I assumed his partner was a man and I said, straight men usually do not use the term partner for their live ins. I asked him why he was taken aback and he said that he was out since he was 17 but he does not usually come out to old people (like me) because they are the more frequent purveyors of disdain.

So

 

#1 Do straight men ever call their girlfriend their "partner"?

#2 Do you utilize the age of the other conversant as a criterion in deciding to discuss being gay?

#3 Am I really old?

 

1. I have heard some women refer to the man in their lives as partner.

2. no. Ive met many guys who were old and young and all gay... or bi.

3. You are only as old as the child inside you.

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To answer your questions... #! YES, I have a lot of male friends who refer to their female companions, live ins, or what ever as their "partners".

I would never utilize the age of the other person in discussing being gay, straight, bi, or any other category. Conversation flows about intimate things when you have some sort of relationship.

I don't know if you are old purplekow, but from some of your postings you seem like a young, hot stud !!!!!

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I saw someone today and in the course of conversation he mentioned a partner. In referring back to the partner, I said said "he" and the person was taken aback. He asked why I assumed his partner was a man and I said, straight men usually do not use the term partner for their live ins. I asked him why he was taken aback and he said that he was out since he was 17 but he does not usually come out to old people (like me) because they are the more frequent purveyors of disdain.

So

 

#1 Do straight men ever call their girlfriend their "partner"?

#2 Do you utilize the age of the other conversant as a criterion in deciding to discuss being gay?

#3 Am I really old?

In response to the questions:

#1) I have never heard the term used in a straight relationship. Nothing "wrong" with it. In fact, I think it should be used more. It kind of of reminds of the time we went through with using Ms. It takes away the stigma of being a Miss or a Mrs. It should not matter. If I am meeting someone for the first, I can usually figure out what their preference is. Wouldn't it be great if it really doesn't matter! I think we like to categorize people. I am guilty as well with that.

#2) No I don't. There are a number situations that could be a factor. If you are thinking about hitting on someone, I suppose you want to know. If you are out to dinner with a new acquaintance, why would you want to know? There are clever ways to find out a persons preferences, not only for sex.

#3) Yes, you are really old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. There a few new members talking about setting up their first experiences. Most of us can remember those days...except pk. He's going to a dementia unit soon! I posted so many times abou this situation. I think a few were getting bored with my concerns. One time, I think it was you, that said, "Just relax. If the person you chose is half the person people say he is, he will have your clothes off in half an hour. Well, you were wrong. It took 20 minutes. As he was taking off his clothes, I said, " this is where I should take my clothes?"

And, regarding the old thing. I fit in that category.

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...he does not usually come out to old people (like me) because they are the more frequent purveyors of disdain....

 

Funny how purveyors of disdain so often think everyone is as disdainful as they are.

 

...

#1 Do straight men ever call their girlfriend their "partner"?...

 

That's a new one on me. However, I have heard a straight woman refer to her live-in boyfriend as her partner.

 

...

#2 Do you utilize the age of the other conversant as a criterion in deciding to discuss being gay?...

 

Nope. Never.

 

...

#3 Am I really old?

 

You do not come across as being old. In fact, if you and I lived in closer proximity to one another I would definitely hang out with you. You strike me as being very witty and fun.

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You do not come across as being old. In fact, if you and I lived in closer proximity to one another I would definitely hang out with you. You strike me as being very witty and fun.

Wow if I knew I was going to pick up a compliment or two, I would have asked about my age sooner.

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I saw someone today and in the course of conversation he mentioned a partner. In referring back to the partner, I said said "he" and the person was taken aback. He asked why I assumed his partner was a man and I said, straight men usually do not use the term partner for their live ins. I asked him why he was taken aback and he said that he was out since he was 17 but he does not usually come out to old people (like me) because they are the more frequent purveyors of disdain.

So

 

#1 Do straight men ever call their girlfriend their "partner"?

#2 Do you utilize the age of the other conversant as a criterion in deciding to discuss being gay?

#3 Am I really old?

 

I think it's becoming common for straight men to refer to their significant other as their partner.

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#2 Do you utilize the age of the other conversant as a criterion in deciding to discuss being gay?

 

I think it's more how well you know them rather than how old they are. I know a few 80+ gay men. One, I have known for 30 years and from the moment we met those 30 years ago, we have loved to chat about anything and everything. When we first got acquainted he was younger than I am now. 30 years hasn't changed that - we talk about sex, life, death, money, novels, films, music, men, politics, etc. The others I don't know so well, so we just engage in polite chit chat. One of them is named "Cox" and he always likes to have a laugh about his first name.

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I have a good (straight) friend who is 66, and refers to the woman (close to his age) with whom he lives as his "partner." Having both been divorced, neither wants the entanglements of another marriage.

 

I also have younger straight friends who are unmarried but partnered and refer to their opposite-sex significant others as partners.

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I have a good (straight) friend who is 66, and refers to the woman (close to his age) with whom he lives as his "partner." Having both been divorced, neither wants the entanglements of another marriage.

 

I also have younger straight friends who are unmarried but partnered and refer to their opposite-sex significant others as partners.

 

 

I've heard "lady-friend" in that kind of scenario many times but it's a term is going extinct.

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It's been decades since we referred to unmarried people living together with such arch language.

 

Decades as in 1990's... Yes 20 decades. Unless you visit older folks who watch Fox News, they still use that vial language but not to the mistresses of Republicans, just everybody else.

 

I'm register and I live in Maryland and because my age and background (74 and Irish- American Catholic) I'm consider a would-be-Reagan Democrat and that's why in the age of microtargeting I'm a target LOL. You can't imagine the kind of robot calls I get before elections... Ad verbatim example: "85% of black children are born out of wedlock, that's Obama's plan for America. The number of white children born to unlawful relationships and likely to become criminals is on the rise"."White baby-mamas in the suburbs, Obama's plan", I even got one that talked about the same issue as the: "Nwordization of America". Yes, and many times those robot calls are untraceable with an ever changing technology.

 

It amazes me how gay the world has turned: sex out of wedlock on the 1st date, living together without any kind of binding contract, delaying settling down till you're in your late 30's, open relationship. I didn't know we had so much in common with straight people, specially the need for freedom.

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Guest countryboywny

I think it's all semantics. Titles like "partner", "companion" etc. give the impression of the existence of a "legitimate" relationship existing. It probably goes back to the time in our society when co-habitation in the absence of legal marriage was frowned upon. I much prefer terms like "my f**kbuddy", "slave", "maid" etc. :rolleyes: LOL

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I think it's all semantics. Titles like "partner", "companion" etc. give the impression of the existence of a "legitimate" relationship existing. It probably goes back to the time in our society when co-habitation in the absence of legal marriage was frowned upon. I much prefer terms like "my f**kbuddy", "slave", "maid" etc. :rolleyes: LOL

 

Anal sex was illegal till 2002 even with your own wife. Scalia is still obsessed with that decision by the SCJ and wonders why the activist judges declared it a private matter, instead of having candidates run in pro and anti-sodomy agendas to pass new laws and follow the normal legal procedure. I guess activist judges couldn't wait to gives us the right to f*&&^%ck our wives in the ass, LOL

 

http://www.salon.com/2012/12/11/scalias_still_obsessed_with_sodomy/

 

I have some young male friends and many of them say: "women think if you fucked them once, they own you..." and they laugh at it and move on to the next girl.

 

"my f**kbuddy", "slave", "maid" you forgot bitch boy, o_O

 

in my personal believe call yourselves and others whatever you want, just play safe and be honest with each other, why bother being untruthful when it comes to sex specially now that it's all legal and judgmental people are slowly disappearing.

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The terms we use to refer to someone with whom we have a romantic relationship depend on the age of the participants and the cultural context in which we use them. I have a widowed straight friend who is 92 and lives in a small town, so I am not surprised that he refers to his "lady-friend." I have lived with the same person for 47 years. In the early days, he was my "roommate" or "friend" to straight people and my "lover" to gay friends. Eventually he became my "partner" to most people, or my "significant other" or "longtime companion" when I was being arch. Now I just call him my "spouse," although some would consider it more p.c. to call him my "husband." One friend who has been with the same person for 30 years calls him his "boyfriend," which strikes me as sort of silly, but it feels right to him. Old friends of mine, academic straight couples who have lived together for many years but never married, have always referred to one another as their "partner."

 

Out of habit, I still often refer automatically to the man to whom I am legally married as my "partner."

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Guest countryboywny

"my f**kbuddy", "slave", "maid" you forgot bitch boy, o_O

 

..or just "bitch"! LOL

 

I have some young male friends and many of them say: "women think if you fucked them once, they own you..."

 

This reminds me of a little chuckle I had the other day. Do any of you read the black and white comic strips in your local newspaper? Well, in my local paper there is a comic strip entitled "For Better of Worse" that details the family life of a couple and their children. The first frame of the strip depicts the toddler-aged daughter trying to teach the family dog to sit. She says, "Now Farley (the dog), I have a piece of wienee in my hand and if you want it, you have to do everything I say.." :)

 

3. You are only as old as the child inside you.

 

I'll be turning 60 this year, but I'm VERY immature!

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The terms we use to refer to someone with whom we have a romantic relationship depend on the age of the participants and the cultural context in which we use them. I have a widowed straight friend who is 92 and lives in a small town, so I am not surprised that he refers to his "lady-friend." I have lived with the same person for 47 years. In the early days, he was my "roommate" or "friend" to straight people and my "lover" to gay friends. Eventually he became my "partner" to most people, or my "significant other" or "longtime companion" when I was being arch. Now I just call him my "spouse," although some would consider it more p.c. to call him my "husband." One friend who has been with the same person for 30 years calls him his "boyfriend," which strikes me as sort of silly, but it feels right to him. Old friends of mine, academic straight couples who have lived together for many years but never married, have always referred to one another as their "partner."

 

Out of habit, I still often refer automatically to the man to whom I am legally married as my "partner."

Whatever you call it, congratulations on such a long relationship. Y'all are blessed!!

 

Gman

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