What Did I say Wrong

[rocky]

OK, I know I've been someone who is a bit awkward and asks strange question but here's the thing. I'm

going to be out of town, I'm in upstate NY, and I saw suddenly an expanded number of escorts that would

be available. I responded to one young man (I'm 58, an overweight guy just as a fyi) and got a note

back that said yes glad to catch up. I immediately responded with a number of questions. Now you have

to understand I'm from upstate NY with very few contacts but have been around a bit and use escorts

when out of town or when I can, I don't apologize for that. So my questions included your likes,

dislikes, etc but noted "I use escorts regularly." I said this so as not to think I haven't done this before

but am still nervous with someone new. So here was his response:

 

I don't like the way you said that at all. You 'use' escorts regularly? my intuition is leaning heavily on the side of staying home.

 

What did I do wrong. I didn't mean I am someone who runs after escorts just I'm not new at this??

Help? Did I do wrong???

[+ azdr0710]

well, certainly the word "use" is not respectful....probably should've said, "I've met with other escorts, but may be a bit nervous meeting you for the first time. Thanks for understanding."

 

I hope you can salvage this appt if you really want it....write him, apologize, and say you're really looking forward to a fun meeting if he'll see you.....

[rocky]

Thanks; wow the power of words I didn't mean anything by saying " used"...thanks

[Guest Connoisseur]

OK, I know I've been someone who is a bit awkward and asks strange question but here's the thing. I'm

going to be out of town, I'm in upstate NY, and I saw suddenly an expanded number of escorts that would

be available. I responded to one young man (I'm 58, an overweight guy just as a fyi) and got a note

back that said yes glad to catch up. I immediately responded with a number of questions. Now you have

to understand I'm from upstate NY with very few contacts but have been around a bit and use escorts

when out of town or when I can, I don't apologize for that. So my questions included your likes,

dislikes, etc but noted "I use escorts regularly." I said this so as not to think I haven't done this before

but am still nervous with someone new. So here was his response:

 

I don't like the way you said that at all. You 'use' escorts regularly? my intuition is leaning heavily on the side of staying home.

 

What did I do wrong. I didn't mean I am someone who runs after escorts just I'm not new at this??

Help? Did I do wrong???

 

Ask the escort if there is an extra charge for him to remove the stick from his a** before you meet.

[jawjateck]

While your wording was not precise as to your true intent, I suggest the following response:

 

"I'm sorry for how I phrased that. I meant to convey that I do have experience hiring, yet I am subject to nervousness when meeting an escort for the first time. I apologize to you, but I agree you should stay home, and I'll make another selection. Have a good evening."

 

Sheesh....if the guy is hyper-sensitive about that, what else will be a problem when/if you meet??? Unless, you really really really want to play with this one, choose one of the other options available to you. I think he just gave you some insight to help make a better hiring decision. Take advantage of it. Happy hunting!

 

P.S. I wish I had an expanded number of options tonight........<sigh>

[whipped guy]

According to the dictionary...

 

Use (verb):

- employ something for purpose

- do something habitually

- consume something

- manipulate or exploit somebody

- consume drugs or alcohol regularly

- treat someone in a particular way

- benefit from something

 

It just goes to show how a single word can have a different meaning to different people and possibly at different times... Personally I think jawjateck gave you good advice... If this guy is so petty and bent out of shape with semantics and will parse simple words then the gods only know what else might set him off.

 

In any event, best of luck... and do look into those other options!

[bigvalboy]

Ask the escort if there is an extra charge for him to remove the stick from his a** before you meet.

 

I am not as diplomatic as some of the guys on here. LOL...I would have said exactly what the Connoisssur said. Seriously, how uptight can a guy be.

[maxwellissmart]

OK, I know I've been someone who is a bit awkward and asks strange question but here's the thing. I'm

going to be out of town, I'm in upstate NY, and I saw suddenly an expanded number of escorts that would

be available. I responded to one young man (I'm 58, an overweight guy just as a fyi) and got a note

back that said yes glad to catch up. I immediately responded with a number of questions. Now you have

to understand I'm from upstate NY with very few contacts but have been around a bit and use escorts

when out of town or when I can, I don't apologize for that. So my questions included your likes,

dislikes, etc but noted "I use escorts regularly." I said this so as not to think I haven't done this before

but am still nervous with someone new. So here was his response:

 

I don't like the way you said that at all. You 'use' escorts regularly? my intuition is leaning heavily on the side of staying home.

 

What did I do wrong. I didn't mean I am someone who runs after escorts just I'm not new at this??

Help? Did I do wrong???

 

Well, through your arrogant thoughtlessness you've destroyed the potential for a very special friendship that could have been lifelong. I think you should beg his forgiveness and set up an appointment.

 

Then cancel on his ass at the last possible second.

[devonhunter]

And that would accomplish... what?

 

It was a misunderstanding. None of us know what kind of day the escort was having. Perhaps that particular term at that particular time was unwelcome, and he normally wouldn't respond that way?

 

Rocky: When I am trying to CAST the models for our videos, HIRE/CONTRACT the staff for our events, or SECURE the services of a professional, I simply choose the word I actually mean. Semantics definitely do matter, especially if you don't know someone.

[maxwellissmart]

And that would accomplish... what?

 

It was a misunderstanding. None of us know what kind of day the escort was having. Perhaps that particular term at that particular time was unwelcome, and he normally wouldn't respond that way?

 

Rocky: When I am trying to CAST the models for our videos, HIRE/CONTRACT the staff for our events, or SECURE the services of a professional, I simply choose the word I actually mean. Semantics definitely do matter, especially if you don't know someone.

 

And... it was a joke.

[nate_sf]

Ask the escort if there is an extra charge for him to remove the stick from his a** before you meet.

 

I second this sentiment. The escort is being WAY too oversensitive. If someone wrote that to me, it would not even occur to me to be offended.

 

If this is someone you'd still want to see, you could explain you did not mean to be insulting, and that you were nervous. If he can't be sympathetic and cut you slack, you're better off finding out now and moving on to someone else.

[+ Charlie]

If you hire this guy now, you are going to be watching what you say so carefully that you are unlikely to really enjoy yourself. So don't use him (ooops! did I say that?)

[rvwnsd]

...I don't like the way you said that at all. You 'use' escorts regularly? my intuition is leaning heavily on the side of staying home...

 

I would have used a different phrase. However, I think he is overreacting. My intuition is leaning heavily on the side of suggesting you hire someone else.

[BostonPhil]

I would like a little clarification on if he responded to you between the questions you posed him and the statement of about your use of escorts and also more specifically what questions you asked the escort. Context can mean a lot and if your questions lead him to the idea that you "use" escorts regularly.

 

I know a couple guys that are more sensitive during initial contact before they have met a client. One is really sensitive to having the fact that he is an escort pointed out. I know it is weird. Another had a few bad experiences where clients got a little out of control and basically was treated like a piece of trash. I am pretty sure he would react similarly to the word "use".

 

You did nothing wrong, nor did the escort. It is very hard some times to get people's full meaning in text. Just look no further than the following three posts from the first page of this thread:

 

Well, through your arrogant thoughtlessness you've destroyed the potential for a very special friendship that could have been lifelong. I think you should beg his forgiveness and set up an appointment.

 

Then cancel on his ass at the last possible second.

 

And that would accomplish... what?

 

It was a misunderstanding. None of us know what kind of day the escort was having. Perhaps that particular term at that particular time was unwelcome, and he normally wouldn't respond that way?

 

Rocky: When I am trying to CAST the models for our videos, HIRE/CONTRACT the staff for our events, or SECURE the services of a professional, I simply choose the word I actually mean. Semantics definitely do matter, especially if you don't know someone.

 

And... it was a joke.

 

Devon has it dead on, it was a misunderstanding, I do think you will be better served by chalking this up to a learning experience and move on to one of the other new hotties in your area. I would say, drop the word "escort", exchange "use" fore "hire" and trade out "regularly" to something like "occasionally".

 

I am now going to bury my face in a Boston Market Chicken Pot Pie! (no that is not a euphemism.)

[BostonPhil]

OH I FORGOT THIS

 

OK, I know I've been someone who is a bit awkward and asks strange question but here's the thing.

 

There are no strange questions, just strange escorts.

[Lohengrin1979]

If you hire this guy now, you are going to be watching what you say so carefully that you are unlikely to really enjoy yourself. So don't use him (ooops! did I say that?)

 

Agreed. In reading the OP's post I couldn't figure out what the dilemma was until I read the escort's reply. He was probably having a bad day, but he shouldn't have transferred that to the OP, nor should he have followed his snippy little disapproval notice with "I'm leaning heavily towards staying home today?" Really? That speaks more to the attitude of the escort than his objection to using the word "use." I say move on to someone else and let him disapprove of someone else.

 

Lohengrin

[+ purplekow]

Seems both the OP and the escort were a bit careless with their words. I believe the OP did it innocently and the escort purposely, so count me among those that opt to forget him and move on. Perhaps, the take home message for the OP is to be a bit more careful when making an initial contact. The message to the escort is to be a bit more considerate in his responses. The escort might have booked a grateful client had he responded something along the lines of: "I appreciate your interest but I want to be clear that i do not allow myself to be used by anyone. However, hiring me will likely be a memorable experience for both of us."

[SteveEscort]

What did I do wrong. I didn't mean I am someone who runs after escorts just I'm not new at this??

Help? Did I do wrong???

 

 

Anyone misinterpreting "use" is just a bit prissy. I use public transport sometimes and often when I've had a late appointment I use a local taxi firm to get home.

 

He was just being a bit too precious

 

I would have come to see you, I wouldn't even have picked up on it

[down_to_business]

...

 

I don't like the way you said that at all. You 'use' escorts regularly? my intuition is leaning heavily on the side of staying home...

 

QUOTE]

 

1) Your phrasing may be off but you did nothing wrong

 

2) Leaning heavily towards staying home is not encouraging but is definitely not the same as saying no or closing the door. While his response may seem a little bit persnickety, I believe he left you an opening to salvage the appointment if you wanted to.

 

3) Whether or not you want to is a whole different question.

[jgoo]

I wouldn't necessarily apologize as I don't think you wrote anything really wrong. I would say that it was unfortunate that you got off on the wrong foot with him but it was really unintentional. I personally would not try to set up a mtg at this point as I think a dark cloud hangs over any possible encounter. You might suggest to him since he will be staying home instead of mtg you that he take a few minutes to look in on daddy's forum and this thread in particular as some very good feedback is provided for his consideration.

[rocky]

I can't thank all of you enough for responding and providing encouraging comments. I did respond to the young man with an apology but feel bad if he thinks I'm some sort of evil person. Unfortunately as you might be aware it's difficult to find escorts in this area so someone who appears to be a class act is always welcome. I thank you all again and will move on to others. best, rocky

[gcursor]

I also support this sentiment. can he possibly cut hairs just a little more fine? i guess my suggestion is if you're really serious about seeing him then call him and there will be a less likely chance that you will be misunderstood.

gcursor

 

I second this sentiment. The escort is being WAY too oversensitive. If someone wrote that to me, it would not even occur to me to be offended.

 

If this is someone you'd still want to see, you could explain you did not mean to be insulting, and that you were nervous. If he can't be sympathetic and cut you slack, you're better off finding out now and moving on to someone else.

[adriano46]

My gut reaction at first was a misunderstanding over the wording, but I also agree 100% with Charlie -- if such wording may be misconstrued, it puts a lot of pressure on BOTH the client and escort to be on their guard in conversation, and would - for me at least - make the whole encounter problematic. I'd simply thank the guy (escort) for his honest reply, perhaps add a sentence or two of apology for causing some offense, and definitly at that point MOVE ONE to another escort who perhaps is having a better day (I also agree with some here who imply the escort may have been having a less-than-steller day and that may have caused his snapping out at the client's innocent inquiry).

[jjkrkwood]

And... it was a joke.

 

It always amazes me how some people never get you Max.....

[jjkrkwood]

Rocky, always keep in mind that you have NO control over how someone will interpret your lines when corresponding online. These message are void of actual emotion. Yes your choice of words can have an impact on what you are saying, but basically there was some impression the escort got from your words that didnt sit well with him. Maybe it was just a feeling ? The escort was going with his gut feeling, and thats always the Best indicator.. did he over-reacti? Perhaps, but theres nothing you can do.

 

Nonetheless, its always BEST to not fixate on these things, or these people and move on. As you said there was an abanundance of escorts, so just pick another one. If your messages continue to be met with the SAME response, THEN its time to reevaluate. I wouldnt worry about it... Fixating on an escort is a way bigger problem...