Scary red flags when hiring

[MassageCommunityMember]

What are some scary red flags you watch for or have experienced when hiring?  I'm not thinking about an odd food odor or dated decor - something that made you question your safety there - and if you stayed, why?

[jmichaeliii]

This is a great topic.  For me, I have hired probably around 30 guys since I started this hobby, and I have never felt uneasy with anyone I have met.  But that comes from following some rules that have been stated often here.

1. Vet anyone you are thinking of hiring with the members of this forum.  It is an invaluable source.

2. Read their profiles.  You can kind of tell who you should maybe avoid from that.

3. Look for reviews and read them.  If you are on rentmen, get a VPN so you can see what was written.  I will often DM a few clients if I am interested in someone and want to vet them out.  I tend to avoid anyone that is a very new or has no reviews.

4. Have a dialogue with them.  You can usually tell right away who you should weed out

This is certainly not a fool proof system and I am sure I have been fortunate to really never hire someone I felt uneasy or threatened by.  Just vet the best you can and have fun.  There are so many great providers out there!

[MassageCommunityMember]

Thank you!

 

Also, I know there are other red flag posts about communication and fees and things like that - I'm thinking about red flags that induce fear.  Real fear - not just wondering if you're about to get scammed or have a less than satisfying experience. thanks!

Edited August 4 by MassageCommunityMember

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

7 minutes ago, MassageCommunityMember said:

Thank you!

 

Also, I know there are other red flag posts about communication and fees and things like that - I'm thinking about red flags that induce fear.  Real fear - not just wondering if you're about to get scammed or have a less than satisfying experience. thanks!

It's been discussed once or twice...

 

 

 

 

Edited August 4 by Vegas_Millennial

[+ SirBillybob]

Welp, if I’m crying for Mommy he’s probably getting it right. Does that count?

But seriously, if they balk at vetting or seem critical of your safety steps, including when it’s a stranger and you reveal that you always have a wing man externally with whom you share your plans, particularly when you openly offer reciprocity in screening.

So it would be highly unlikely to experience face-to-face anxiety once that playbook is applied. That said, I don’t require a legal name up front as that could sabotage a booking attempt. 

(I realize I edited following your chuckle) 

Edited August 4 by SirBillybob

[maninsoma]

I'm confused why anyone would be afraid after showing up if the guy's house had "dated decor."  Unless the decor was glorifying serial killers or something like that, how would decor make anyone feel unsafe?

[Guest]

On 8/4/2026 at 12:04 PM, maninsoma said:

I'm confused why anyone would be afraid after showing up if the guy's house had "dated decor."  Unless the decor was glorifying serial killers or something like that, how would decor make anyone feel unsafe?

That confused me too - but perhaps 'dated' means decor that is run-down and trashy, not 'dated' as in Art Deco. LOL

[carnalvore]

The time a guy pulled a knife and threatened to shoot me.

[sider]

1 hour ago, carnalvore said:

The time a guy pulled a knife and threatened to shoot me.

Shoot you? With the knife??!! Lol

[BuzzLiteQueer]

context?

[+ purplekow]

I have had one encounter, which I may have written about before.  I hired a new escort in Las Vegas while on a trip with friends.  I met the man in the bar of my hotel and spoke with him over a drink.  Well, a drink for me, two or three for him.  That should have been the red flag but he seemed nice enough and definitely was hot enough, so we went back to my room.  He asked me to put on porn, straight porn as it were.  Another red flag, if what we are doing is not sexy enough to have him perform, perhaps he is not the right man.   Subsequently, he refused to kiss, though he advertised that he did, so another red flag.  Ultimately he asked for more money before anything too intimate happened and then made some remarks and made some actions which confirmed I did not want to continue.  For example he grabbed me in a threatening manner and started speaking of violence and slurring his words.  Whether it was him, the alcohol or something like drugs, I do not know, but I did not have him stay around to find out.  I did give him his fee, as I was the one calling it off.  I did not give him the increased fee he demanded earlier in our interaction. 

[GymGuy]

On 8/4/2026 at 1:13 PM, jmichaeliii said:

This is a great topic.  For me, I have hired probably around 30 guys since I started this hobby, and I have never felt uneasy with anyone I have met.  But that comes from following some rules that have been stated often here.

1. Vet anyone you are thinking of hiring with the members of this forum.  It is an invaluable source.

2. Read their profiles.  You can kind of tell who you should maybe avoid from that.

3. Look for reviews and read them.  If you are on rentmen, get a VPN so you can see what was written.  I will often DM a few clients if I am interested in someone and want to vet them out.  I tend to avoid anyone that is a very new or has no reviews.

4. Have a dialogue with them.  You can usually tell right away who you should weed out

This is certainly not a fool proof system and I am sure I have been fortunate to really never hire someone I felt uneasy or threatened by.  Just vet the best you can and have fun.  There are so many great providers out there!

Do you have to be a premium member of RentMen to see the written reviews?  I am "registered" on RM but not premium (paid) level.  I use a VPN but cannot see what is written by a reviewer.

[DMonDude]

9 minutes ago, GymGuy said:

Do you have to be a premium member of RentMen to see the written reviews?  I am "registered" on RM but not premium (paid) level.  I use a VPN but cannot see what is written by a reviewer.

You don't have to have premium to do it. You have to set your VPN so it appears you are in a different country. You can have a VPN on, but they usually default to a local server and still shows you as being U.S. based, thus RM reviews won't appear. I always change mine to Sweden when i do it.

[Colton]

20 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

You have to set your VPN so it appears you are in a different country.

You may also have to delete any previous RM cookies (or use incognito) before going to the RM site.  Rentmen.at (Austria) also seems to usually show reviews without a VPN.  

[jmichaeliii]

1 hour ago, GymGuy said:

Do you have to be a premium member of RentMen to see the written reviews?  I am "registered" on RM but not premium (paid) level.  I use a VPN but cannot see what is written by a reviewer.

I use proxysite.com, then select an EU server.  You have to use the rentmen.eu site.  For it to work.

[Nue2thegame]

10 minutes ago, Andreas Porter said:

I recently had an experience with a provider, and I’m still processing how I feel about it.

I consented to having sex with him, but I did NOT consent to him finish inside me. He never asked me beforehand if that was okay, and I never told him he could do it. He just did it.

That immediately made me uncomfortable because, to me, consenting to sex is not the same thing as consenting to someone finishing inside you. That should have been a separate conversation.

Afterward, I became extremely worried about HIV because I wasn’t on PrEP. I ended up going to the hospital and starting HIV PEP within the recommended time window.

The whole experience was stressful — not only because of the HIV scare and having to take medication for 28 days, but because I kept thinking about the fact that he made that decision with my body without asking me.

I tried talking to him about how worried I was and what I was going through. What bothered me even more was that instead of showing much concern or having an open conversation with me, he seemed to gaslight me for not trusting him when he said he is clean.

I understand that I consented to unprotected sex, and I take responsibility for that decision. But I still feel strongly that I did NOT give him permission to finish inside me. Those are two different things.

The combination of him doing that without asking and then seeming emotionally detached when I became concerned about my health has really changed the way I see him.

This probably warrants its own thread. 
I’m very sorry that happened and I can empathize with your feelings. Ultimately, you are responsible for your own safety and even when there are clear intentions to withdraw, accidents can and often do happen. Your choices going forward should be no more penetrative sex, penetration only with a condom or going on full time PreP.