I am in a bad spot - again

[MscleLovr]

On 8/21/2026 at 5:30 PM, McWilson said:

I never loan money to friends or family

Me too.
I’ve been asked for loans several times by different people - maybe a total of 6x in 40 years.
If it seems worthwhile or helpful to them, I give the money outright. 
Over the years, I’ve only been let down twice (by false friends who requested funds and then let contact lapse).

My advice to the OP is to clear your debts.
Paying people back and reducing the debt will ease your mental anxiety. 
Stop subsidising others (as mentioned above); you can’t afford it. 
And stop comparing yourself to rich friends; you’re broke and it’s unhelpful.

Edited August 23 by MscleLovr

[coriolis888]

On 8/6/2026 at 12:03 PM, BlackSheep said:

haha, no I am not. Very occasionally getting a massage like once or twice a year ... I come here to talk with strangers, in my late 40s as I have no friends - except may be one who I can call any time, but he doesn't know the extend of I debt I am in. I also come here to admire others and regret on my past and also present. 

Very sad.  

[+ glutes]

On 7/13/2026 at 10:48 PM, BlackSheep said:

I borrowed $30k from someone I knew for a month for a specific purpose.

All I can say is WOW...

He/she loans you 30K in 30 days?

What were the terms? Collateral?

Edited Tuesday at 02:42 AM by glutes

[BlackSheep]

there were no terms or collatoeral.... he loaned me 30k the next day or that week if I recall correctly.
He knows me and my family. I didn't explicitly request but the expectation was to not share it with my family and he didn't .... 
I think I am the most poor one in my whole circle of friends and acquaintances ...... something has to change

[+ sniper]

Without any hard numbers it's very hard to tell how bad this issue is, but from the tone of your posts at a minimum you need counseling because there's clearly an emotional component to your spending.

Even very high levels of debt can be dealt with if you have a decent income and are disciplined enough to keep your credit score high. Because you can keep rolling things over on 0% balance transfer offers. The key is to make the plan and stick to it.

Edited Tuesday at 01:04 PM by sniper

[+ sniper]

Also just don't compare yourself to your peers. Just focus on what you are doing. But for gods sake if you have 30k cash in hand and an oblogation to pay 30k in one month, stick it in a high yield savings account and dont touch it. Better yet you should have just returned the money to your friend.

The stock market is volatile right now, and due to demographics there is a high risk of the market entering a decline as seniors start cashing out their stocks to pay for long term care. YOU as a lone person are in no position to be picking individual stocks. If your employer offers a company match on 401k take advantage of that, then stick that 50/50 index fund and stable value and dont look at it. With everything else figure out a budget. If your job isnt covering your basics, you either need a new job or a second job, not a speculative side hustle. If you can't pay back your friends in full quickly, just for pride's sake send then a few bucks a month to show that you are serious about paying them.

Where you are now is NOT where you will always be, unless you keep doing what you are doing now.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 9/1/2026 at 3:02 PM, sniper said:

from the tone of your posts at a minimum you need counseling because there's clearly an emotional component to your spending.

 

On 9/1/2026 at 8:13 AM, BlackSheep said:

the expectation was to not share it with my family .... 
I think I am the most poor one in my whole circle of friends and acquaintances...

On 9/1/2026 at 8:13 AM, BlackSheep said:

...... something has to change

Yes, seek counseling immediately, and cut up your credit cards.

It is a burden, especially when one is hiding all of this from friends and family.

Suicide hotline: Call 988

Edited 17 hours ago by Vegas_Millennial

[BlackSheep]

Its 3am and I am up, can't sleep much these day ... hoping I am not suicidal for sure ... I am not that defeated yet, but defeated and a loser for sure.

Thanks @sniper and @Vegas_Millennial for your pointers and concerns, really apprecaite it.

My basics are not getting met or my monthly is not getting covered by my single job. I need to find a new job or find a second job for sure. I am hoping the business I am trying to setup can act or fund me as my second job, but I am hardly breaking even, hoping it crosses the threshold in a near future to be profitable, there is a hope by the end of the year but hope in this case has been there for a long time.

I have assumed the job market is bad, I am not even trying for a year and half, which is not good at all. I need a therapist for sure.

I owe money to two individuals on a priority. One I am hoping to clear by the end of year, other person called today but didn't inquire about the money and I didn't bring the topic ... I am also trying to sell few home items and evaluating if I can get hold of some cash to pay those two individuals. Investing in individual stocks from past 3-4 years (and picking the wrong ones too) was one of the biggest mistakes I have made in the recent past.

[Nue2thegame]

I’m so sorry for your predicament. You seem to be prioritizing things well now. Creating a budget that you can live with and is realistic regarding your current resources should be your top priority, followed by paying off your two creditors as expeditiously as possible. You should tell them that you fucked up, apologize, propose a realistic pay-off schedule and stick to it. Advising them of your situation proactively will foster realistic expectations with them and hopefully avoid future misunderstandings if they might otherwise feel that you are being evasive. Saving and investing are the bedrock of financial security and the American dream but not the way that you were doing it. Several on this thread have made solid recommendations about how to invest. It’s not a crap shoot but with a trustable fiduciary (yes, there are plenty out there) helping you construct a diversified investment plan, you should do fine long term. Kudos to you for asking for help and reaching out. Good luck.