*Yet another warning about deposits

[guest]

15 minutes ago, Austin Lewis said:

I'm surprised no one has encouraged me to identify the culprit. I'd like to spare other guys the risk of dealing with this man, but maybe naming-and-shaming isn't the right thing to do.

for me, without a name attached to it, the complaint means nothing.  I had an issue with a provider (non-deposit related) and when I posted here about it, the provider was suddenly very quick to want to resolve it. I would imagine you will have similar reaction, so I encourage you to do so. 

 

side note - I have followed this simple common sense rules -  SMALL deposit ($50 max and/or uber covered) to well reviewed provider both here and rentmen, and never to a provider who lists or indulges in PNP.  Any and all horror stories I hear on these forums people have deviated from these common sense rules. 

 

[guest]

5 minutes ago, FrankR said:

Adding it to this thread will add little value - will get lost. If the provider has his own thread, I would add a comment there…that you don’t recommend him with whatever details you are comfortable with. Or start a thread on him if he does not have a thread. That way members will actually be able to see the comments when they look at his thread.

agree with everything you have said except it will have value - we will all see it.  I want to know who it is. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

On 3/8/2026 at 7:29 PM, josh282282 said:

the more the escorting community for gay men is full of guys who WILL pay a deposit, the escorting pool attracts more and more shady criminals who want to steal from and victimize us.  Sure, there are escorts who are genuine and provide their services with a deposit with no problem!  But word of mouth/advertising of deposits make our hiring community like a tourist hot spot in a beautiful country: a place for criminals to go to target easy prey.   Ruins everything. 

So don't think just because you paid a deposit and your particular escort is honest that that choice alone does not add to the problem.  It does.  It makes all of us who hire more at risk for others to victimize and harm us, just like acting like a tourist in touristy areas makes those areas less safe.  Escorts who take deposits and run inevitably provide (if they show up) bad service to us.   They are not going to do all the things you want them to do.  They will be horrible providers.  They only want our cash.  We dont want to encourage them to advertise escort services. 

Protect not only yourself (NO DEPOSITS!) but protect your brothers and this wonderful hiring community-  no deposits!!

Okay, do you have any evidence for this wild claim? This is essentially "girls are attracting rapists by how they dress." I grew up visibly gay in NYC and suffered more than my fair share of bullies, getting jumped, etc. It actually made me incredibly tough and resilient. 

We can't discuss politics here but there are many more real threats to gay men and other queer people in the US than losing $50 to a guy pretending to be an escort. 

Seven years into this - frequently making nominal deposits - I've had one guy flake on me. 

I also met up with a provider in person at a bar near my hotel once. Unfortunately, he brought up some controversial topics where we didn't agree. When I went to the bathroom to think of how I would explain to him I didn't want to follow through, he vanished. Worse, he left my coat and messenger bag alone to anyone who wanted to rob it and - of course - I had a $30 bar tab (and I don't drink). The funny part is that I was planning to offer him $100 for his time.