A little messed up after seeing a provider...

[BonVivant]

15 minutes ago, Rod Hagen said:

As a 2-decade niceGuy escort, I can tell you your thinking is wrong.  We are paid, and it's not an act.  Both are true. 

 

It's genuine fun and passion that just happens to be paid.  (Ok, those providers who say "I love you" without being asked to, that's laying it on thick) What is getting in the way of it being a long term thing is not that we were/are acting, it's that we aren't an option because of our work and most of the time neither are you because "fill in the blank".

Don't "move on" by telling yourself it was an act.  What a horrible thing to do to yourself, and horrible way to think of him.  Rather, remind yourself that it was good, it is good, and it can not be for many very real reasons.  All those things are true and unchangeable.

Yes. Or client can accept it as it is, for what it is. And just enjoy it. Life should be enjoyed. If I enjoy and click with a provider, then that is best for me and him. 

[Rod Hagen]

5 hours ago, BonVivant said:

Yes. Or client can accept it as it is, for what it is. And just enjoy it. Life should be enjoyed. If I enjoy and click with a provider, then that is best for me and him. 

Sure, but the "what it is" should be fleshed out.

[JustConnect]

I get it.  I’ve fallen into fantasies about being rich enough to afford to keep a provider I’ve met and be able to see him at least once or twice a week for a couple hours.  I’m realistic enough to know the only way I’d get hi to want me at this point in my life is the ability to be his sugar daddy. 

[pubic_assistance]

11 hours ago, Rod Hagen said:

Don't "move on" by telling yourself it was an act.  What a horrible thing to do to yourself, and horrible way to think of him.  Rather, remind yourself that it was good, it is good, and it can not be for many very real reasons.  All those things are true and unchangeable.

Brilliant sales pitch @Rod Hagen. 

I myself have always advised that young men who are new to the business, should work to get themselves a few regulars. 

Pretending you are genuinely attracted to some gigantic, aging blob of flesh who has never gotten laid without paying for it,  is absolutely a way to get a regular customer, who will mortgage his home to keep the fantasy going. 

As with all businesses there are customers you enjoy and those you dont. But all business is about pleasing someone in exchange for 💲CASH, not friendship.

[LuckyLechon]

On 1/11/2026 at 3:44 AM, PhileasFogg said:

You’ve got to find another horse and get on.  The elixir to infatuation is multiple regular providers.  If all your focus is on one, it will turn into more than infatuation. 

On this topic, this particular provider will be back in my neighborhood soon and reached out to me. Bad idea to see him? I’m kind of on the fence about it. 

[+ Lucky]

26 minutes ago, LuckyLechon said:

On this topic, this particular provider will be back in my neighborhood soon and reached out to me. Bad idea to see him? I’m kind of on the fence about it. 

I'd see him again.

[+ PhileasFogg]

34 minutes ago, LuckyLechon said:

On this topic, this particular provider will be back in my neighborhood soon and reached out to me. Bad idea to see him? I’m kind of on the fence about it. 

If you had a good experience, I think you should see him.   My encouragement is to not see only him

[wsc]

On 1/10/2026 at 1:03 PM, BuffaloKyle said:

Click on some ads and find someone new to be infatuated with 🥰

As Blanche Devereaux has said, "The only way to get over a man is to get under another one." 

[wsc]

17 hours ago, LuckyLechon said:

On this topic, this particular provider will be back in my neighborhood soon and reached out to me. Bad idea to see him? I’m kind of on the fence about it. 

The fact he wants to see you again may mean he enjoyed your company the first time and would like to repeat the experience, or it may mean he liked the money and would like more. And these two are not mutually exclusive; both can be true.

You need to recognize that you are in a vulnerable state and ensure you do not become a cautionary tale for others similarly situated. If you don't think you can separate your romantic attachment from his pleasure-is-my-business reality, don't risk it.

But such connections are somewhat uncommon, and it would be a shame to deny yourself the experience. So, find a way to get a firmer grip on your fantasy and emotions and enjoy this man's obviously evident charms on a more realistic basis with realistic expectations.

That said ... more easily said than done. Best wishes (and with maybe a little envy 😉)

[+ JEC]

On 1/10/2026 at 1:15 PM, BonVivant said:

You can have a connection with your provider. You are human after all. But don’t mistake it for what it is not. 

THIS /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

[LuckyLechon]

4 hours ago, wsc said:

The fact he wants to see you again may mean he enjoyed your company the first time and would like to repeat the experience, or it may mean he liked the money and would like more. And these two are not mutually exclusive; both can be true.

You need to recognize that you are in a vulnerable state and ensure you do not become a cautionary tale for others similarly situated. If you don't think you can separate your romantic attachment from his pleasure-is-my-business reality, don't risk it.

But such connections are somewhat uncommon, and it would be a shame to deny yourself the experience. So, find a way to get a firmer grip on your fantasy and emotions and enjoy this man's obviously evident charms on a more realistic basis with realistic expectations.

That said ... more easily said than done. Best wishes (and with maybe a little envy 😉)

Hey I appreciate the response. He will be in town next week. So I’ll see if I end up meeting with him, I am leaning toward yes though 

[+ PhileasFogg]

12 hours ago, wsc said:

As Blanche Devereaux has said, "The only way to get over a man is to get under another one." 

I believe I saw a forum rule stating that “Golden Girls” quotes are the exclusive domain of @samhexum 🤣🤣😅

[wsc]

3 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

I believe I saw a forum rule stating that “Golden Girls” quotes are the exclusive domain of @samhexum 🤣🤣😅

Yes, and for that reason I hesitated before my post. But as the esteemed Mister Hexum had not favored us with his input, I felt compelled to fill the gap. It reminds me of that time back in St. Olaf - or picture it - Sicily, 1920. But I digress.

[francisssgorg]

It can happen, but rarely. Ok again I’m Filipino Asian, and in my country, majority of escorts, masseurs, providers whatever you wanna call them in general are straight men. Basically some might even hide their actual sexuality/gender because masseurs that are gay are actually frowned upon by the gay community there, very outdated and unprogressive way of thinking. But one thing that you can take out of it is that every session or service that you receive are purely business transaction. The boys themselves are the commodities as negative as it sounds. But you could probably choose a straight provider next time so that emotional connection is out of the picture. And most times, I find that they double the effort with their services because they have tons of competition in the market. Especially nowadays, there’s a wider range of options, every fantasy that you can think of. 
 

But just remember, this isn’t Pretty Woman. If it does happen to you then I personally would be the first one to cheer for you. Just be wise, think with your head and not your other junior head. One of my favorite Filipino movie line goes like this “Don’t confuse love with s*x sweetie” lol. But yeah, again, just be wise.

[LuckyLechon]

On 1/31/2026 at 7:34 AM, francisssgorg said:

It can happen, but rarely. Ok again I’m Filipino Asian, and in my country, majority of escorts, masseurs, providers whatever you wanna call them in general are straight men. Basically some might even hide their actual sexuality/gender because masseurs that are gay are actually frowned upon by the gay community there, very outdated and unprogressive way of thinking. But one thing that you can take out of it is that every session or service that you receive are purely business transaction. The boys themselves are the commodities as negative as it sounds. But you could probably choose a straight provider next time so that emotional connection is out of the picture. And most times, I find that they double the effort with their services because they have tons of competition in the market. Especially nowadays, there’s a wider range of options, every fantasy that you can think of. 
 

But just remember, this isn’t Pretty Woman. If it does happen to you then I personally would be the first one to cheer for you. Just be wise, think with your head and not your other junior head. One of my favorite Filipino movie line goes like this “Don’t confuse love with s*x sweetie” lol. But yeah, again, just be wise.

I’m Filipino too, half! Thanks for your perspective. When I first posted I was definitely feeling some type of way. I’m a lot better now, it was just that first initial meeting that jostled me haha. I think I enjoy a BFE but just never realized it or had someone that was good at it. At the same time I think we have good chemistry. Just bonuses to look forward to.

I am meeting up with him in a couple days.

[francisssgorg]

@LuckyLechon try to differentiate infatuation with love. Just enjoy your moments together. Make it hot and memorable, but never ever make emotional connection because at the end of the day, when you guys are ready to call it quits, you’re gonna have a hard time letting go. Never happened to me, but I’ve heard tons of client’s stories… well actually I even have a friend wherein he thought there was an emotional connection with him and his gym instructor. Like he was blinded by all of the sweetness, that he paid for everything, new phone, new everything even like mortgage for the apartment, turning him into a full on sugar daddy. Idk if there’s money involved in your situation but if there isn’t, well aren’t you a @LuckyLechon

[jeezifonly]

L'amour, l'amour 

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 2/1/2026 at 10:26 AM, LuckyLechon said:

I’m Filipino too, half! Thanks for your perspective. When I first posted I was definitely feeling some type of way. I’m a lot better now, it was just that first initial meeting that jostled me haha. I think I enjoy a BFE but just never realized it or had someone that was good at it. At the same time I think we have good chemistry. Just bonuses to look forward to.

I am meeting up with him in a couple days.

good chemistry is mind blowing when they happen!

[myophile]

On 1/11/2026 at 12:07 PM, Rod Hagen said:

As a 2-decade niceGuy escort, I can tell you your thinking is wrong.  We are paid, and it's not an act.  Both are true. 

 

It's genuine fun and passion that just happens to be paid.  (Ok, those providers who say "I love you" without being asked to, that's laying it on thick) What is getting in the way of it being a long term thing is not that we were/are acting, it's that we aren't an option because of our work and most of the time neither are you because "fill in the blank".

Don't "move on" by telling yourself it was an act.  What a horrible thing to do to yourself, and horrible way to think of him.  Rather, remind yourself that it was good, it is good, and it can not be for many very real reasons.  All those things are true and unchangeable.

Perfectly said! 

A satisfying “longterm relationship” between client and provider can absolutely be a transaction, AND include a level of genuine, affectionate mutual regard. To ignore the transactional side of the relationship, or to deny the possibility of friendship/affection within it, both seem equally unfortunate to me.