Why do you pay for sex?

[PoundMeOnaPlane]

For me, a provider is like having a GPS for dating—always reliable and almost never lost in the woods of awkwardness.

 

Going on a date without a provider is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without instructions—fun and exciting at first, but soon you’re questioning your life choices and wondering if you’ll ever escape the maze of flatpack chaos. Many people have forgotten how to converse, turning a nice dinner into a therapy session where I’m the therapist, the waiter, and the bill payer. And let’s not forget the manners—or lack thereof—that can turn a rock-hard erection into a limp noodle faster than you can say “table manners.”

 

A provider, on the other hand, is that steady guide, keeping everyone entertained and comfortable. They know exactly what I expect, which is usually a good time and maybe a little dinner—though I often find myself making a meal out of the provider instead. 

That’s why. 

[MenLoveAvenue]

1 hour ago, PoundMeOnaPlane said:

never lost in the woods of awkwardness

1 hour ago, PoundMeOnaPlane said:

escape the maze of flatpack chaos

My man, you have a way with words!

[Whippoorwill]

My husband and I could “cook” for ourselves or we can go out for a fabulous meal. We could have built our house or we could have hired a great architect. We could pick out our own clothes or we could hire a colorist/fashion consultant. Likewise why wouldn’t we hire professional courtesans who can strive to meet our every sexual desires?

[+ Charlie]

My spouse never hired providers, because for him, sex was only satisfying if it was the result of mutual attraction. My reason for hiring providers was much more mechanical: for me, sex was satisfying if it was the result of the person having the right tools, and using them with proficiency. 

[Nightowl]

9 hours ago, Charlie said:

My spouse never hired providers, because for him, sex was only satisfying if it was the result of mutual attraction. My reason for hiring providers was much more mechanical: for me, sex was satisfying if it was the result of the person having the right tools, and using them with proficiency. 

I’m of the same mind. I don’t need the attraction, just the physical desire to pleasure and be pleasured.  For me, the mind checks out when the horniness kicks in.

[DMonDude]

For me, it's effectively to get access to guys i don't see in my local or app based hookup pool. I enjoy a nice scroll on Tiktok or Instagram sometimes, and there is always some hot 20something dancing without a shirt on. "Thirst trapping" as they call it now. And some of those guys tend to have a really specific look that i really like but i never ever see those on Grindr or just in my social circles (i'm young enough where i can run into Gen Zers in day to day at a party/gathering or whatever). I only ever see them online, occasionally at a bar/club at the gay part of my city (and i have a very hard time getting myself to approach them in this scenario), but a lot of those guys (gay, bi, straight or otherwise) are all hustling on OnlyFans and now more and more of them are providing. So hiring is how i fulfill my fantasy of plucking those guys off my social media feed to being right in front of me.

[DMonDude]

1 minute ago, DMonDude said:

For me, it's effectively to get access to guys i don't see in my local or app based hookup pool. I enjoy a nice scroll on Tiktok or Instagram sometimes, and there is always some hot 20something dancing without a shirt on. "Thirst trapping" as they call it now. And some of those guys tend to have a really specific look that i really like but i never ever see those on Grindr or just in my social circles (i'm young enough where i can run into Gen Zers in day to day at a party/gathering or whatever). I only ever see them online, occasionally at a bar/club at the gay part of my city (and i have a very hard time getting myself to approach them in this scenario), but a lot of those guys (gay, bi, straight or otherwise) are all hustling on OnlyFans and now more and more of them are providing. So hiring is how i fulfill my fantasy of plucking those guys off my social media feed to being right in front of me.

I've even gotten to the point where i not only get to enjoy finding that type of guy on RentMen for example, i sometimes find a specific guy i lust after on Tiktok on RentMen (hired him and it was everything i hoped it would be).

[coriolis888]

17 hours ago, DMonDude said:

I've even gotten to the point where i not only get to enjoy finding that type of guy on RentMen for example, i sometimes find a specific guy i lust after on Tiktok on RentMen (hired him and it was everything i hoped it would be).

How can you meet someone from Tiktok?   

[DMonDude]

1 hour ago, coriolis888 said:

How can you meet someone from Tiktok?   

He was someone i followed on Tiktok and then months later while browsing on RM i randomly saw him on there and then i hired him. It was just totally random chance.

[Tom C. Sinclair]

On 8/15/2025 at 1:14 AM, coriolis888 said:

Cute and funny.  If it were only so, we would not hire. 

Then we should stop saying that’s what we’re doing. 99% of the issues around hiring is because we don’t say what we mean. For some unknown reason. 

[coriolis888]

1 hour ago, Tom C. Sinclair said:

Then we should stop saying that’s what we’re doing. 99% of the issues around hiring is because we don’t say what we mean. For some unknown reason. 

With all due respect, rarely is that term or defense used anymore (selling time for sex). 

I certainly do not say that I am hiring someone for time when I hire from rentmen.eu.

When that defense was used a long time ago, the police generally laughed at the defense. 

If we (the client) are hiring a hustler, it is foolish to pretend that we are not paying for sex.   Can you honestly look at the rentmen.eu site and logically say you are hiring those guys only for "time'? 

The graphic photos of the escorts tell the true story of what is happening.  There is no "sale of time" when hiring guys from rentmen or similar sites.  

A few years back, a group of escorts got together and decided that the police would not arrest them for prostitution if they said that they were selling time rather than sex.  The court did not agree with that defense, stating "why would a person advertise on a graphic gay sex site and offer various sex acts and then claim that they are only selling "time" 

Selling "time" for "sex" is a defense that died more than two decades ago.  

[Tom C. Sinclair]

@coriolis888, I concur. Ask a provider what we’re paying for. I recall the days of those long-ass disclaimers escorts put on their profiles about providing time, not sex. My original comment was snark. We are most definitely paying for sex. 

[caramelsub]

After watching this video, I don’t think I’ll be using Grindr for a while. Too many people getting robbed, scammed, and hurt. Not saying hiring is safer, but at least I can check reviews of others, and if something goes wrong hopefully not lose more than the hourly fee that I agreed to pay them. 

Edited Thursday at 09:25 AM by caramelsub

[mtaabq]

I think we can all agree that we all need to be careful and cautious whether we’re hiring or whether we’re hooking up. 

[DMonDude]

18 hours ago, caramelsub said:

After watching this video, I don’t think I’ll be using Grindr for a while. Too many people getting robbed, scammed, and hurt. Not saying hiring is safer, but at least I can check reviews of others, and if something goes wrong hopefully not lose more than the hourly fee that I agreed to pay them. 

Definitely always worth being careful, but just some perspective... It's very easy to get scared by things like this happening but you should also remember that extreme cases are the ones you hear about most, but that doesn't actually mean they are happening frequently or guaranteed to happen. For every hookup that goes wrong to this extreme there are literally hundreds if not thousands if not tens of thousands of hookups that go perfectly fine, but that's not newsworthy/clickable or worth making a Netflix show about (referencing Dahmer there).

It's similar to how flying on a plane is statistically the safest way to travel but many people are terrified to fly because the once out of whatever bajillion flights that does have something go wrong is what everyone hears about and fixates on, because it's so rare. But the way media reports about a plane crash hits your brain subconsciously leaves you with the feeling of "omg this must happen all the time! Flying is soooooo dangerous! I shouldn't get on planes!". Those same people will then all get in a car, every day, and not think about the fact that a car accident is statistically millions of times more likely to be how they'd be injured or die. No one thinks about that or is actively afraid of it or lets it stop them from driving to and from work everyday because the risk is so normalized and non-sensationalized and not covered by the news unless it's a horrific 20 car pileup on the highway.

There were a little over 36,000 car accidents every day, across the U.S. in 2021. A little over 13 million for that year. That same year, there were "just" a couple dozen commercial plane crashes out of a little over 6 million total operated commercial flights globally. But because of the media, planes are the one everyone's nervous about. This obviously is not a 1:1 comparison to Grindr crimes vs successful hookups, but the fear one feels in both is because of Availability Bias.

So... Yeah, take reasonable precautions and be safe of course. Learn how to identify red flags like they mention in the video, but you should still live your life too.

[Nikba]

For a particular service, convenient and the most importantly the type and unique looks. I have no problem with a casual hookup, but for something special I prefer a professional with looks and experience to ensure the quality time.