Aggressive masseur

[BeefyDude]

Hey guys, I know the answer to this but wanted to share.

There is a guy i goto who does a great job and we get along wonderfully.  His rates are high, but i'm ok with it. I just can't go very often due to price.

He gets very aggressive with me on rebooking - texting multiple times.  Last Monday he reached out to me asking if I want to schedule this week. My reply was (and this is true) my

weekday schedule is NUTS.  He said I work weekends, which I replied thanks, I'll let you know.  He then replied asking why i can't make a commitment for the weekend (6 days from now) Saturdays

are my catchup on all the stuff I can't do during the week plus meal prep, house chores etc.  I also have my PT appointment in which the person who comes to my house is notoriously late and typically spends

2 hours on me - so yes weekends are somewhat hard (not like weekdays_

Then this morning same message asking if I want to schedule this week or weekend. I was at work and could not reply.  I literally just walked in the door and he sent a follow up text

I think my next step is to BLOCK him on my phone (that was my i know the answer part)

I know there are masseurs on here who read this, so please don't trash me. I personally feel this guy is being overly agressive and needs the $ by what I consider hounding me

I'm sure others have experienced aggressive/pushy masseurs, how did you respond/what did you do?

[LookingAround]

Have you firmly and directly communicated some version of "don't call me, I'll call you?"

Edited July 21 by LookingAround

[Nightowl]

19 minutes ago, BeefyDude said:

 

The only time this happened to me, I shut it down with a text that said “Thanks.  I’ll let you know when I’m ready.” I noticed that his RMass ad disappeared a few months later so I suspect it was a desperate attempt to get business that led him to push for another appointment.  

[BeefyDude]

22 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

Have you firmly and directly communicated some version of "don't call me, I'll call you?"

Good question. .  i don't know how direct or firm I was but I recall always saying I will let you know when I can book

I guess should i reply or just ignore and he will get the hint.  bummer cuz I really like him.  But I don't like being hounded constantly.  I mean

Last monday then today - same theme

I genuinely appreciate the replies

[BeefyDude]

Better yet and this is LEGIT

VERY recently my sister fell on very hard times.  Like the good brother I "lent" her 5K

So I could simply reply with that saying money is TIGHT, i will let you know when I can book again.

If he can't handle that or goes off on me the BLOCK

[PaulM]

I would just be honest with him that you really enjoy the time together,  but can't really afford to meet that often.  Also, you should let him know that you will reach out when you can.  I find being straightforward with these type of guys is best....if it doesn't work,  then you can block him!

[StarQualityLuke]

Just be honest and let them know your budget cannot bear consistent sessions.  Perhaps he can work within that or leave you alone at the very least🤭

[Typical]

You do not owe this person a single word of explanation. Your reasons for not hiring him when he, evidently, needs money, are absolutely none of his business. Just tell him firmly that when you wish to hire him again he will be the first to know, that you have his contact, and you have don’t need reminders.

I would be concerned about this relationship. There may be unfortunate reasons he seems to need money. Desperate people can do bad things. It may be best to pause and not engage in his life for some time. 

This is one reason why I rarely do appointments at my home. I do not want to bring people I do not know well that close to my life. 

[marylander1940]

4 hours ago, BeefyDude said:

Hey guys, I know the answer to this but wanted to share.

There is a guy i goto who does a great job and we get along wonderfully.  His rates are high, but i'm ok with it. I just can't go very often due to price.

He gets very aggressive with me on rebooking - texting multiple times.  Last Monday he reached out to me asking if I want to schedule this week. My reply was (and this is true) my

weekday schedule is NUTS.  He said I work weekends, which I replied thanks, I'll let you know.  He then replied asking why i can't make a commitment for the weekend (6 days from now) Saturdays

are my catchup on all the stuff I can't do during the week plus meal prep, house chores etc.  I also have my PT appointment in which the person who comes to my house is notoriously late and typically spends

2 hours on me - so yes weekends are somewhat hard (not like weekdays_

Then this morning same message asking if I want to schedule this week or weekend. I was at work and could not reply.  I literally just walked in the door and he sent a follow up text

I think my next step is to BLOCK him on my phone (that was my i know the answer part)

I know there are masseurs on here who read this, so please don't trash me. I personally feel this guy is being overly agressive and needs the $ by what I consider hounding me

I'm sure others have experienced aggressive/pushy masseurs, how did you respond/what did you do?

Tell him you ran out of money! 

 

[Capitano]

I agree with all who say that you don't owe him anything and that "I am busy and will get in touch when I see an opening" should be enough.

I am for 2 messages max. When he comes back with a rant, simply say "Thanks, as I said, I've been really busy and will get in touch when I can." and then simply don't answer to additional messages. I wouldn't block him, let him vent.

There is no point in entering arguments, because facing the truth will likely only infuriate him. However, you can download a free texting app that gives you another number. You can contact him anonymously and give him feedback on his pricing that way. If he has any brains, he should be able to use them. If not, oh well... Yeah, Econ 101, the law of supply & demand. 

Edited July 22 by Capitano

[TonyDown]

I remember feeling obligated to respond to all emails and texts.  But you aren't really obligated.

Yup, it does sound annoying, but perhaps he doesn't realize you find him aggressive.

It sounds like you engage him with frequent replies.  Will he stop with the frequent texts, if you stop replying so much?   

 

Edited July 22 by TonyDown

[jeezifonly]

For heaven’s sake, lie!!! Just make up a short buzz-killing high-drama family issue 

[Manhattan]

Sometimes people have to drum up business, that's not exclusive to masseurs. 

As a customer you could just text, "I appreciate your reaching out and I look forward to our next appointment, but I'm not ready to book right now. I'll let you know when I can."

Or, "Your massages are relaxing, but your texts are not! Take care of yourself and I'll reach out when I'm ready to book."

Then ignore. 

[Lohengrin1979]

This kind of behavior would have me very reluctant to hire such a masseur again. Every time a masseur has gotten pushy, it hasn’t ended well. As one of the posters above said, it reeks of desperation or other life issues that you don’t need to be a party to.

I’ve given one provider permission to message me when he’s available because he is very often booked up so if a slot opens I’ll usually take it. The others I use have been told, gently but firmly, that I’ll reach out when I want an appointment. 

[Thelatin]

I have a guy that hits me up, which I’m fine with.  But then he’s a clock watcher.  It’s like hold it…you’re contacting me.  It’s a 2 hour drive, hotel etc.  At least slow things down a bit.

[+ JamesB]

You’re not wrong to feel uncomfortable. It's okay for a provider to follow up, but repeated messages and pressure are not professional. Trust your instincts. You know you'll have to block him sooner or later, why not do it sooner?. Procrastination does not usually yield better results.

[pubic_assistance]

On 7/21/2025 at 4:36 PM, BeefyDude said:

There is a guy I go to who does a great job and we get along wonderfully.  His rates are high, but I'm ok with it. I just can't go very often due to price.

Honesty is the best policy.

You shared this with us. You need to share this with him.

Nothing wrong with a provider doing follow ups with a regular. He is running a business. He is merely trying to manage his cash flow. Many of these young guys (if he IS a young pup) need guidance on these details. As far as I know most of these guys don't take courses in how to run a massage/escort business.  If you feel he's being too aggressive, SAY SO. 

You say you enjoy the service and you enjoy the company, so I don't understand any of these people telling you to "LIE" or to "BLOCK". That is terrible advice. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot  

[BeefyDude]

Sorry for not posting.

I actually did reply to him in a nice manner with my real legit money issue.

He respond very positively stating we are good.

A few have reached out to me privately saying he was the same way with them.  NOT a cool way to get or maintain clients IMHO and as mentioned unprofessional.

Having said that, if any more aggressive text come in I WILL BLOCK.  Otherwise i look forward to another great massage.

[BeefyDude]

On 7/22/2025 at 12:33 AM, Manhattan said:

Sometimes people have to drum up business, that's not exclusive to masseurs. 

As a customer you could just text, "I appreciate your reaching out and I look forward to our next appointment, but I'm not ready to book right now. I'll let you know when I can."

Or, "Your massages are relaxing, but your texts are not! Take care of yourself and I'll reach out when I'm ready to book."

Then ignore. 

I agree but disagree.  When I and other continually said I WILL reach out to when i'm to book is a clear message don't call me I'll call you

In my case I DID multiple times say I was unable to book.  Yet the aggressive texts continued, even same day as I initially reported.

Again for now we are good.  Any more occurrences of this and i'm done with him.  

[Ali Gator]

I had a similar experience with a local masseur in the beginning of this year, right after Christmas. He was texting every five days or so, asking if I wanted to book an appointment for the coming week. I kept refusing him as I was very busy with work / life. I kept telling him "Sorry, but this week is crazy for me - I have no free time to schedule an appointment." Plus, I was trying to catch up on holiday debt, so I was cutting back on 'extras' for financial reasons. 

I repeatedly let him know that 'as soon as my schedule frees up' I would contact him. That didn't stop him. He kept reminding me of the 'importance' of a massage for my well-being (I always booked a $200 erotic with him, and always had a good time, so he had a point there...sort of). 

FINALLY, after nearly 2+ months  of this, I responded "I agree - a weekly massage is beneficial for my overall well-being. However, I'm broke this week. If you're truly interested in my well-being, and you're willing to give me a free massage this week to keep me healthy, I'll take it ! Let me know what day and time, and I'll make it work." 

And that was the end of that. (I haven't heard from him since, and I've decided to take an extended break from him). 

[Chien Andalou]

Is it a loss of face to say you can’t afford it right now? One way I’d consider approaching it is to say something like: “I love meeting with you and really enjoy our sessions. Paying for your time can be a stretch for me, so I only contact you when I feel I can comfortably afford it. I’ll have to pass right now but I hope to hit you up soon.” It tells him to back off but leaves the door open for when you are ready. 

[KevinFL]

Is there a Lock and Key available at this point for this?

[Ali Gator]

13 hours ago, Chien Andalou said:

Is it a loss of face to say you can’t afford it right now? One way I’d consider approaching it is to say something like: “I love meeting with you and really enjoy our sessions. Paying for your time can be a stretch for me, so I only contact you when I feel I can comfortably afford it. I’ll have to pass right now but I hope to hit you up soon.” It tells him to back off but leaves the door open for when you are ready. 

No, no loss of face for not being able to afford it at this time - it's business. But you don't have to let him know.

That said, I would drop the 'Paying for your time....soon.' line.

Just say, 'Currently, I'm pausing these  luxuries for personal reasons. Once I'm ready to start again, you're at the top of my list to book an appointment."

[Manhattan]

How about this - 

"I'm not booking right now. Please stop texting me about it."

[urbanfetish]

I hate it when masseurs randomly text me. Part of me understands that it's their way of drumming up business so I forgive a text here and there. However, I did have one guy who was relentless so I taught him a lesson. I sent him a text like I was a jealous boyfriend snooping on my phone accusing him of sleeping with me. I played "dumb" at first with a "I don't have your number saved. Who's this?" reply and asked for a pic. After he replied, I said I was the bf and now I had proof "he" was cheating on "me". Never heard from that masseur again. 🤣