Clients’ Mental Health

[FaustOust]

Providers, would you continue to see a client whom you thought had mental health issues or was suicidal?  Would you get them help or just stay away?  

[Ali Gator]

I would ask the same question to clients about providers ! 

Not too long ago, I met a new masseur who moved to my area. In conversation, he asked me what I did for a living, and I told him (in a very general term) I worked in a behavioral health facility, without giving away my position or job duties. Within minutes, he started unloading on me about 'issues' he was having, and he needed to find a new therapist since he's in a new area, and who did I recommend, blah, blah, blah.  He did let me know he suffers from anxiety and depression - so which doctor in the area would be the best fit for him ? (It also sounded a little like schizophrenia, too, as he was telling me he believed he was being 'followed' by a sinister individual on his move from the west coast to the east coast, but he couldn't explain why).

I gave him the phone number of the company I work for, and told him to book an appointment for  'screening' and they can go from there with him. His questions were beyond my expertise (I deal with the insurance coverage of people), so I couldn't get involved.  He seemed to understand, and was happy with the info I suggested to get him started. I know just making the phone call can be overwhelming for some.  

Cute / sexy guy with decent skills, but after talking about this in the early part of the appointment, it was tough for me to get 'turned on' for the erotic part of the massage. He really had to work at getting me erect and 'explode' (but kudos to him - he did). 

[marylander1940]

6 hours ago, FaustOust said:

Providers, would you continue to see a client whom you thought had mental health issues or was suicidal?  Would you get them help or just stay away?  

Many clients suffer from depression, anxiety, loneliness, etc. as long as the lines are clear, and he knows the rules of the relationship I'm sure many providers will still see him. 

[marylander1940]

I know a provider who has been dealing with anxiety trying to renew at least one of his 2 passports in order to remain illegally in the USA while being able to fly across country. His country of birth now requires a rap sheet by the FBI in order to give him a new passport. It really pisses him off when folks don't believe him when he tells them this new requirement, most folks simply go to their embassy/consulate with their passport, 1 pic and get a new one.... unfortunately, now his passport is more difficult to get. 

After sending his fingerprints to the FBI he really freaked out and had issues trying to sleep, felt depression etc. Now he's hopeful to get a positive answer by them but concerned about having lied to the FBI about his migration status when he clicked "legal resident non-US citizen" in the rap sheet application form. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Many of my regulars have told me "crazy client" stories, although I'd say they fall more into the "extremely weird" or "drunk and high" category than a genuine mental illness.

Likewise, I met providers who have psychiatric problems and see therapists on their own. And I've texted many who responded in a way indicating that they weren't "all there," including several cases of explosive anger.

I've seen studies indicating that sex workers are more likely to have psychiatric problems, but it's often caused by something other than their jobs.  Nonetheless, legalization and destigmitization would help the mental health on both sides.

[+ purplekow]

37 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

Many of my regulars have told me "crazy client" stories, although I'd say they fall more into the "extremely weird" or "drunk and high" category than a genuine mental illness.

Likewise, I met providers who have psychiatric problems and see therapists on their own. And I've texted many who responded in a way indicating that they weren't "all there," including several cases of explosive anger.

I've seen studies indicating that sex workers are more likely to have psychiatric problems, but it's often caused by something other than their jobs.  Nonetheless, legalization and destigmitization would help the mental health on both sides.

Is it a coincidence that after reading this thread, I headed to another thread concerning a new escort, only to find that escort gone and a string of escorts headed by a former escort of the year winner, renowned for injecting a large degree of bizarre into this bazaar.  He is in San Diego if you are interested.  

[Storm4U]

I left the business about two years ago. If I had  clients that I knew  were suicidal or severely depressed I would’ve continued to see them. If I had clients that were literally crazy with mental disorders (which I did encounter a couple of times) I cut them off. They are too dangerous. 

Edited December 8, 2024 by Storm4U

[+ ApexNomad]

To answer Ali’s question flipped around, I’m not a therapist or doctor, but if I were with a regular provider who seemed off, I would gently inquire. And if there was a problem, I would offer to help. I once helped a regular provider with a legal matter.

[ICTJOCK]

Interesting question.   I think it all depends on the circumstances with the client.      "Mental issues"   is an vague description.    Many people have mental issues,  but it doesn't impair their behavior,   others have more pronounced challenges.     So long as it wasn't a problem with the relationship,   I would likely continue.    Suicide is another issue altogether.    I might encourage assistance,  but I would likely recognize that I'm not in the position or trained to take much of a role.     "Stay away"   sounds like a cop out,   but I'd likely try and encourage him to see help and keep a low,  but supportive profile  (depending on how well I knew the client).

[soloyo215]

I'm not a provider, but as a client, hiring providers has improved my mental health. In fact, that's how I discovered all this. Massages were recommended to me as part of my plan to improve my mental health. I wanted to support the LGBT community, so I googled "gay massage" (I now find the naivete funny). The rest is history.

I also know of at least one person who hires as part of strategy to improve his sexual wellness.

There's a difference in the degree of, and how people handle their mental health issues. There's a difference between feeling depressed, feeling suicidal, and the root of the depression and suicidal thoughts. Also, some mental health issues stem from internalized homophobia, some of which has escalated into harm.

I have not encountered a provider that makes me uncomfortable out of behavior related to mental health, so I cannot comment on that. I also know (as per some of my providers) that the work itself can take a toll on mental health if not conducted properly.

[marylander1940]

Loneliness seems to be a problem affecting a lot of clients even the young ones.

[+ JamesB]

I can’t talk about clients personally, but I've heard from providers about cases ranging from mild depression to severe mental health issues, including individuals who can be dangerously unstable. That said, I’ve also encountered providers who don’t seem entirely competent themselves.

One case that stands out involved a regular provider who struggled with anxiety. Unfortunately, when he sought help, he was merely prescribed some pills without any real therapeutic support. I strongly urged him to find a therapist who would provide more comprehensive care instead of just medication. He took my advice, and the last time I saw him, he seemed to be doing much better.

Experiences like these highlight the substantial shortcomings in how mental health is handled in the US, particularly when it comes to offering comprehensive and effective care for those in need.

[TMonti96]

If I may share my personal story with you all...

I started to work as an escort at the age of 19 a bit by accident. I was a student at an expensive private university who moonlighted in performing arts; I was approached one night by a man at the end of a show. I understood that somebody wanted to meet me but I did not expect the meeting to turn into this. I ended up spending an entire night in the suite with the boss of the guy who approached me in the ballroom. Although I really felt odd about getting paid for this ("what have I become?!"), I felt liberated, a bit like I had managed to get rid of something that was stifling me. It was the first time in my life that somebody was so complimental about me. When you are naked, you cannot cheat. It was a huge confidence booster for me. And earning money was such a great motivator.

I had my regular clients over 3 years. I am naturally somebody quite shy and conservative (sexually speaking) but doing this helped me pierce through my bubble. Then I stopped my moonlighting activity overnight when I met somebody.

Fast forward, years later. I had a job, I was in a stable relationship. Little by little, the spark was dying out; my work was so exhausting that I had reduced my couple and social life to the bare minimum. I was out there for a conference in a nice hotel in another country, waiting for my trip colleagues in the main hall to go out together for dinner. Then I spotted someone I am sure to be a male escort with his male client, meeting at the elevator - there are signs you cannot misinterpret. All my memories from my student years came up to the surface and I felt surprizingly great about it. I flew back home, thought it over.

I booked my first escort one month after, just to try it out. Just to see how it feels, just once. It was great! what i did not anticipate is that it helped me in my couple life as well. I was less cranky, less defensive. 

I am a regular client now. I feel lonely even if I am not alone, it is hard to explain. But escorting has definitely contributed to an improvement of my mental health.

[+ ApexNomad]

2 hours ago, TMonti96 said:

If I may share my personal story with you all...

I started to work as an escort at the age of 19 a bit by accident. I was a student at an expensive private university who moonlighted in performing arts; I was approached one night by a man at the end of a show. I understood that somebody wanted to meet me but I did not expect the meeting to turn into this. I ended up spending an entire night in the suite with the boss of the guy who approached me in the ballroom. Although I really felt odd about getting paid for this ("what have I become?!"), I felt liberated, a bit like I had managed to get rid of something that was stifling me. It was the first time in my life that somebody was so complimental about me. When you are naked, you cannot cheat. It was a huge confidence booster for me. And earning money was such a great motivator.

I had my regular clients over 3 years. I am naturally somebody quite shy and conservative (sexually speaking) but doing this helped me pierce through my bubble. Then I stopped my moonlighting activity overnight when I met somebody.

Fast forward, years later. I had a job, I was in a stable relationship. Little by little, the spark was dying out; my work was so exhausting that I had reduced my couple and social life to the bare minimum. I was out there for a conference in a nice hotel in another country, waiting for my trip colleagues in the main hall to go out together for dinner. Then I spotted someone I am sure to be a male escort with his male client, meeting at the elevator - there are signs you cannot misinterpret. All my memories from my student years came up to the surface and I felt surprizingly great about it. I flew back home, thought it over.

I booked my first escort one month after, just to try it out. Just to see how it feels, just once. It was great! what i did not anticipate is that it helped me in my couple life as well. I was less cranky, less defensive. 

I am a regular client now. I feel lonely even if I am not alone, it is hard to explain. But escorting has definitely contributed to an improvement of my mental health.

Your story is deeply personal, and it’s great to hear that this has positively impacted your mental health. However, if you’re still in a relationship and also seeing a provider regularly, it’s worth considering whether you’ve discussed this with your partner. Depending on the safety choices you make with escorts versus your partner (ie, condoms, raw, etc.), they have the right to know and make an informed decision for themselves. Open communication can also give them the opportunity to explore their own needs—whether with an escort or in other ways—to support their own well-being. Transparency and honesty can foster trust and a deeper connection in any partnership.

[marylander1940]

5 hours ago, TMonti96 said:

If I may share my personal story with you all...

I started to work as an escort at the age of 19 a bit by accident. I was a student at an expensive private university who moonlighted in performing arts; I was approached one night by a man at the end of a show. I understood that somebody wanted to meet me but I did not expect the meeting to turn into this. I ended up spending an entire night in the suite with the boss of the guy who approached me in the ballroom. Although I really felt odd about getting paid for this ("what have I become?!"), I felt liberated, a bit like I had managed to get rid of something that was stifling me. It was the first time in my life that somebody was so complimental about me. When you are naked, you cannot cheat. It was a huge confidence booster for me. And earning money was such a great motivator.

I had my regular clients over 3 years. I am naturally somebody quite shy and conservative (sexually speaking) but doing this helped me pierce through my bubble. Then I stopped my moonlighting activity overnight when I met somebody.

Fast forward, years later. I had a job, I was in a stable relationship. Little by little, the spark was dying out; my work was so exhausting that I had reduced my couple and social life to the bare minimum. I was out there for a conference in a nice hotel in another country, waiting for my trip colleagues in the main hall to go out together for dinner. Then I spotted someone I am sure to be a male escort with his male client, meeting at the elevator - there are signs you cannot misinterpret. All my memories from my student years came up to the surface and I felt surprizingly great about it. I flew back home, thought it over.

I booked my first escort one month after, just to try it out. Just to see how it feels, just once. It was great! what i did not anticipate is that it helped me in my couple life as well. I was less cranky, less defensive. 

I am a regular client now. I feel lonely even if I am not alone, it is hard to explain. But escorting has definitely contributed to an improvement of my mental health.

You're not alone, I know several guys who told me this job help them gain self-esteem!

[+ PhileasFogg]

I’m trying to stay in touch with a past provider going through a tough time. Not about sex (we’re hours apart)…sharing humorous stories etc to try to cheer up.  But the relationship dynamic is rarely such that you can give anything other than a gentle nudge…they have to know they need help