What exactly is BFE (Boyfriend Experience)?

[Guest]

What does it entail? How long would the session be for? If I host, what is expected of me? Basically, I want some affection/intimacy. I don't need a massage, but don't think I need an escort either. 🥴 

HELP!!!!!!!!!

[+ DynamicUno]

It depends on the escort and how much you communicate what you're looking for, and how much time you allow for the session.  A BFE type session can range from doing typical date type activities such as dinner, movies, a show, etc, along with time spent in the bedroom.  Or it might be just the sex, but is paced more intimately and less like an anonymous hookup.  Every guy is going to be a bit different, so you really have to ask them ahead of the engagement about what they normally do in a BFE meeting and discuss what you're looking to get out of it.

Normally, however, a BFE is beyond the scope of most massage providers, unless they are advertising about intimacy sessions.  You'd probably do well to scan the ads for masseurs first before looking at escorts (though many advertise as both as you're probably aware).

Many escorts will list BFE in their descriptions and it is normally assumed that sex will be part of the plan.  If you're looking for a session that is intimacy short of sex, you should discuss that up front.  I imagine many escorts would readily agree to it, but many will still expect their full fee (under the "payments are for time only" theory).  Be sure to be clear about their rates ahead of agreeing to meet.

 

 

 

[+ azdr0710]

definitions for "BFE" will be as many as the number of people you ask......ha, I once told a provider that I want to meet for two hours with a little chitchat and he was astounded since he evidently was much used to the one-hour wham-bam crowd......

as always, pre-meet communication is the key......tell the provider exactly what you want (and don't want) and ask if he understands it and is willing.....be polite, friendly, professional, and to-the-point.....avoid giddy daily texts/emails......experienced, somewhat-older providers with good comment here on the forum will know exactly what you're saying!.....

you'll probably want a minimum of a two-hour meet and maybe much more to get the "BFE" thing.....expect to pay a full rate........make sure the provider is trusty and well-reviewed if you host......be yourself, talk slowly, firm handshake, look him in the eyes, keep the meeting moving so you get what you want........start with an easy back-and-forth massage, then go from there.....nothing is expected of you if you host except a clean place and some bottled water!......

 

[jmichaeliii]

30 minutes ago, azdr0710 said:

definitions for "BFE" will be as many as the number of people you ask......ha, I once told a provider that I want to meet for two hours with a little chitchat and he was astounded since he evidently was much used to the one-hour wham-bam crowd......

as always, pre-meet communication is the key......tell the provider exactly what you want (and don't want) and ask if he understands it and is willing.....be polite, friendly, professional, and to-the-point.....avoid giddy daily texts/emails......experienced, somewhat-older providers with good comment here on the forum will know exactly what you're saying!.....

you'll probably want a minimum of a two-hour meet and maybe much more to get the "BFE" thing.....expect to pay a full rate........make sure the provider is trusty and well-reviewed if you host......be yourself, talk slowly, firm handshake, look him in the eyes, keep the meeting moving so you get what you want........start with an easy back-and-forth massage, then go from there.....nothing is expected of you if you host except a clean place and some bottled water!......

 

The very first sentence says it all.  I have met one that specializes in this and he is great.  If he is on rentmen, I'd recommend picking some of his latest reviewers and message them for details.  I have had a lot of success getting information this way ahead of time.

[+ JamesB]

The definition of BFE is as subjective as terms like 'sensual' or 'erotic'. Everyone has their own interpretation. There's no universal standard, so it’s important to clarify what it means to you. Instead of focusing on a rigid definition. I suggest a more personalized approach. Start by finding a provider you feel drawn to, then reach out and explain exactly what you're looking for in your session. Be specific about your expectations and desires so there’s no confusion. The provider can then tell you if they're open to meeting your request and provide a rate based on the experience you're seeking.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, PickyGuy said:

What does it entail? How long would the session be for? If I host, what is expected of me? Basically, I want some affection/intimacy. I don't need a massage, but don't think I need an escort either. 🥴 

HELP!!!!!!!!!

This was discussed in great length earlier in the year: 

He'll join you for Christmas dinner with the family, but in return you'll have to deal with his family as well. And when the paid session is over, he'll also want custody of the dog. 🐶

 

 

Edited September 24, 2024 by Vegas_Millennial

[56harrisond]

Many previous discussions linked here:

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/150380-boyfriend-experience/

 

[soloyo215]

I agree with what has been mentioned. I also went to the (rather homophobic) Wikipedia. It doesn't have anything on BF Experience, but has an entire page on Girlfriend Experience. Here's an excerpt:

Quote

In the sex industry of the United States and Canada, the term GFE [girlfriend experience] is used to describe a sexual encounter in which the sex worker and the client provide each other with reciprocal sexual pleasure and some degree of emotional intimacy. The girlfriend experience, often provided through an escort agency, is a popular service that involves more personal interaction than a traditional call girl offers. There is a focus on not just having sex, but also having more of a comprehensive experience. The details vary widely. The sex workers impart a sense of authenticity in order to make the experience more pleasurable for their customer, as well as to make the outcome more lucrative for themselves. According to sociologist Elizabeth Bernstein, this makes it more meaningful for both client and sex worker as it involves emotional labor.

Now I wonder if that's true for providers. Is providing the BFE to a client a "more meaningful" experience, not talking from a financial perspective?

[+ Jamie21]

4 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

I agree with what has been mentioned. I also went to the (rather homophobic) Wikipedia. It doesn't have anything on BF Experience, but has an entire page on Girlfriend Experience. Here's an excerpt:

Now I wonder if that's true for providers. Is providing the BFE to a client a "more meaningful" experience, not talking from a financial perspective?

No it’s not true. That comment by the sociologist is I suspect made based on her assumptions rather than direct experience of the work. 

[misterhumphries]

8 hours ago, PickyGuy said:

What does it entail? How long would the session be for? If I host, what is expected of me? Basically, I want some affection/intimacy. I don't need a massage, but don't think I need an escort either. 🥴 

HELP!!!!!!!!!

The BFE is whatever YOU want it to be. In the detail for your question, you've already defined what you want. Now go out and find an escort willing to provide it. Easy. Just be clear with what you want and, more importantly, what you don't want.

[soloyo215]

9 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

No it’s not true. That comment by the sociologist is I suspect made based on her assumptions rather than direct experience of the work. 

I figured that much. I just needed confirmation. Sounds like BS.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

14 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

...According to sociologist Elizabeth Bernstein, this makes it more meaningful for both client and sex worker as it involves emotional labor.

An example of femmesplaining at its worst 🙋‍♀️🤷‍♀️