Some doubts about my first attempt to Hiring

[ChurkDobe]

Hi, I am a new here.

I'm almost 30 years old, but I don't have any sex experience with anyone yet. I am not ugly, I had many boys and girls suitors before. However, due to safety concerns, fear of illness, and previous thoughts of considering future partners, I don't want had a sex with anyone else. I prefer to use toys, but they are not real after all.

Soon I will no longer be young. I want to give myself a chance to indulge before getting old, and I am well aware that this indulgence will only happen once, becoming a secret in my heart, and I will continue to live like a monk.

Therefore, I want to ensure a safe and enjoyable date that lasts for several nights. When I was planning to travel to Istanbul next month, I saw a man on Renmen and he didn't receive any feedback from customers. But I still contacted him through WhatsApp, even a month in advance We have determined the cost of the overnight stay. He took the initiative to send me a few photos, and based on the phone case he used for his selfie, it should be photos from different periods. But I really like his looks, and I even prepared an expensive gift for this meeting.

When I asked him about his health issues and asked if he was willing to undergo a rapid strip STD test before sexual activity, he just reassured me that he was very healthy. I have prepared condoms and some preventive drugs for diseases, so this shouldn't be a big problem. (I'm not sure how many people are willing to undergo testing, whether it's an offensive behavior. But in my country, as far as I know, many strangers undergo mutual testing before having a relationship, which in my opinion is a guarantee and respect for both parties' health.)

But when I asked if it was possible to make a video call to confirm that he was the same person as the photo, he no longer replied to me, even if I asked him again a few days later, he still ignored me. Does this mean that his photo is fake?

English is not my native language, his English is even worse than mine, and I am also considering whether it is a communication issue. But I have tried my best to express my doubts and thoughts politely and friendly.

Is it common for rentmen to use fake photos? Should those boys be required to have video meetings and paper tests?

I won't find a man like him in rentmen again. 😔But I am considering canceling this meeting. For me, receiving a message but not responding for a long time is an extremely bad behavior.

[pubic_assistance]

Two possibilities:

#1 - yes. He's a fake. (Common problem on Rent.men )

#2 - He thinks you're a fake. Most people don't spend this much time discussing a meet with providers. Possible that he felt you were too much work for him to be bothered.

 

[ChurkDobe]

19 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

两种可能性：

#1 - 是的。他是假的。（Rent.men上的常见问题）

#2 - 他认为你是假的。大多数人不会花这么多时间与提供者讨论会面。可能是他觉得你工作太多了，他不会被打扰。

 

But Rentmen are charging them high monthly membership fees, aren't they? And if the real person doesn't match the photo, can the meeting continue? In my opinion, the cost of counterfeiting is a bit high😕

[maninsoma]

Assuming your post was made in earnest, I'd suggest canceling whatever appointment you made and then taking a step back.  I'm not saying that hiring someone for your first-time experience is the wrong thing to do, but I think it might be in your case.  You wrote that you are expecting this to be the only sexual experience of your entire life.  Why?  Might it not be more helpful for you in the long run to figure out why you have been avoiding potential intimacy your entire life so far when it seems like that's something you want?

If you want to go ahead with hiring someone to be your first and potentially only experience, I suggest that it makes more sense to hire someone where their legitimacy is not in question.  Find someone who has been discussed here whose looks you like, and reach out to him; or, second best (because I think reviews on advertising sites like Rent.men can more often be fake), reach out to someone with a history of positive reviews elsewhere.

[maninsoma]

5 hours ago, ChurkDobe said:

But Rentmen are charging them high monthly membership fees, aren't they? And if the real person doesn't match the photo, can the meeting continue? In my opinion, the cost of counterfeiting is a bit high😕

One of the scams that seems most common is that someone different shows up and either (a) the client goes through with the appointment anyway because they deem the guy to be "good enough" or (b) if the person advertising is really just a thief, the guy demands money in a threatening manner, so the client turns over the fee and gets nothing in return other than intimidation.  Sadly, just because someone pays for an ad on Rent.men doesn't mean they aren't a thief.  A thief isn't going to keep the same ad running a long time, but think about how easy it would be for someone to advertise for a month and rob people who contacted him, and then do it again using a different name, different photos and a different "burner" phone number.  It's safe to say that most men who are ripped off in this way aren't going to go to authorities because of the nature of the meeting, so the thief can get away with this with a very low chance of getting caught.

[SouthOfTheBorder]

6 hours ago, ChurkDobe said:

When I was planning to travel to Istanbul next month

Istanbul is notorious for various escort scams - you’re far more likely to get scammed than a satisfactory appointment.  First rule of hiring is situational awareness in the city you’re in. Istanbul for beginners is asking for trouble. 

Wait until you’re in a city with a known & reputable escort scene. And then follow advice in other threads re; vetting potential providers. 

[ChurkDobe]

2 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Assuming your post was made in earnest, I'd suggest canceling whatever appointment you made and then taking a step back.  I'm not saying that hiring someone for your first-time experience is the wrong thing to do, but I think it might be in your case.  You wrote that you are expecting this to be the only sexual experience of your entire life.  Why?  Might it not be more helpful for you in the long run to figure out why you have been avoiding potential intimacy your entire life so far when it seems like that's something you want?

If you want to go ahead with hiring someone to be your first and potentially only experience, I suggest that it makes more sense to hire someone where their legitimacy is not in question.  Find someone who has been discussed here whose looks you like, and reach out to him; or, second best (because I think reviews on advertising sites like Rent.men can more often be fake), reach out to someone with a history of positive reviews elsewhere.

It is not easy to explain. The reasons why I have been refusing to engage in sexual activity with others before are complex, mixed with many things such as fear, idealism, and a sense of responsibility.
But these cannot restrain my desires, I am just an ordinary person.
I'm almost 30 years old, but I still haven't been able to meet the guy who caught my eye and tried to date. I feel like I need an outlet, and when I found the website Rent.men, it really allows me to spend money and freely choose the person I think is great, and satisfy my sexual fantasies.
I don't fully agree with the statement I see that providers are cleaner than those that can be booked on the dating app because they need to run their own brand. So, in terms of safety and health issues, I have made sufficient preparations.
I want to try it, not a toy, but a real cute man, just like Eve yearned for the forbidden fruit. I don't think this will be the only one-time experience in my life. Who knows what will happen in future, but my plan is to continue waiting alone after this date.

[ChurkDobe]

2 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

Istanbul is notorious for various escort scams - you’re far more likely to get scammed than a satisfactory appointment.  First rule of hiring is situational awareness in the city you’re in. Istanbul for beginners is asking for trouble. 

Wait until you’re in a city with a known & reputable escort scene. And then follow advice in other threads re; vetting potential providers. 

Thank you for your suggestion. I will be more careful.
The man I wanted to meet replied to me, maybe because I contacted too early and talked too much. He thought I was a scammer and ignored me. We have confirmed through video that it is him. It's just a bit strange, he looks younger in the video than in the photo, but it's really him.

[Mrscrappy123]

Be sure to post here and tell us how it goes for you.

[dbar123]

I would suggest starting out small- a one hour meet up with someone local who has a bunch of good reviews. Ideally incall so you have the easy option of leaving if something seems amiss.

A Multi day affair in Istanbul smells to me like trouble.

[+ purplekow]

Proceed with caution.  I would suggest that if this man is the man you want to remember as your first encounter, you want to be sure it is a great memory.  Since you have the funds for a multiple day encounter, why not agree to pay his full hourly fee for a brief sexless encounter over coffee or lunch with no expectations that there will be more.   If you are then still enthralled with this man and the prospect of his body up against you, then make a single hour or two hour appointment for the next time he is available.  Refrain from doing it immediately after the first encounter as your libido will be raging and your mind will not be as clear as if you give it 24 hours or more.  At the second encounter, be sure that it is a place known to you and not to him:  So your hotel after meeting at a neutral location.  If the two hour session goes well, then an overnight for the next night would be prudent.  By the way...NO EXPENSIVE GIFT or if you must that should be given only after the overnight.  

Be careful.  Even experienced clients get fooled.  If you have saved yourself for 30 years, saving yourself for another 24 or 48 hours should be easy.  However, if things go well, I doubt that you will be willing to face the future alone while waiting for Mr. Right.  Mr. Right now has his benefits.   

 

GOOD LUCK

Edited June 27, 2024 by purplekow

[ChurkDobe]

6 hours ago, purplekow said:

Proceed with caution.  I would suggest that if this man is the man you want to remember as your first encounter, you want to be sure it is a great memory.  Since you have the funds for a multiple day encounter, why not agree to pay his full hourly fee for a brief sexless encounter over coffee or lunch with no expectations that there will be more.   If you are then still enthralled with this man and the prospect of his body up against you, then make a single hour or two hour appointment for the next time he is available.  Refrain from doing it immediately after the first encounter as your libido will be raging and your mind will not be as clear as if you give it 24 hours or more.  At the second encounter, be sure that it is a place known to you and not to him:  So your hotel after meeting at a neutral location.  If the two hour session goes well, then an overnight for the next night would be prudent.  By the way...NO EXPENSIVE GIFT or if you must that should be given only after the overnight.  

Be careful.  Even experienced clients get fooled.  If you have saved yourself for 30 years, saving yourself for another 24 or 48 hours should be easy.  However, if things go well, I doubt that you will be willing to face the future alone while waiting for Mr. Right.  Mr. Right now has his benefits.   

 

GOOD LUCK

Thank you for your suggestion. I originally planned to invite him out for dinner, drink some beer, and then go to the hotel. I won't make advance or one-time payments for overnight payments.
Due to your suggestion, I will change hotels every day and I will not inform him of his accommodation in advance. Thank you again.

[Colton]

If you share more about what you are looking for, this community may be able to share some recommendations.  If you have a preferred location, that would be helpful (although I get the sense that you have the means to travel to the provider).  

[+ DrownedBoy]

Just don't ask an escort to take an on-the-spot STD test. I think most would find that insulting, or at least consider you neurotic.

Assume he has everything. You made the right move packing condoms, etc.