Ugly Clients and Providers With Substance Problems

[Guest]

I’m not sure I understand the OP’s point, but if it’s that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect, I agree. And everyone—clients and providers—should avoid situations that are unpleasant or dangerous. If you find yourself in that situtation, end it quickly and safely. If it’s a medical emergency, do what’s appropriate to the situation. Frankly, I’ve not encountered anyone on this site who would not do any and all of the above. Perhaps this is the wrong audience for his post.

[+ APPLE1]

20 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

rudely left early

Even in the example you put forth, the devil is in the details! Maybe I wasn't as being clear as I thought I was being earlier. I think clients are free to feel, and write, however they want about experiences with providers, but GIVE DETAILS to support claims/feelings. If their aren't enough details, readers can't even begin to try to identify who the devil is.

Had the client written: the provider left after 35 mins, I didn't finish, he said he had to get to another appointment he bookended onto mine, and he rudely ran out the door without even a goodbye or a thanks.

I think that's very different than the client writing: the provider left after 50 mins. We had finished, but I paid for 60 mins, and he shorted me time because he should have cuddled with me for 10 more mins. I felt like he cut my time because he had to get to another appointment he had bookended onto mine, and after he said goodbye and thanked me, he rudely left without even a hug and kiss at the doorway.

I mean if we're not going to take each other's, or 7 other members, testament on who is hot, or not, because we want to see links/pics and make the determination ourselves, why would think anyone else should believe  testament on  subjectives like "left early," "rude," or "shady" without supporting detail.

My perspective may be tainted because I am looking to hire, and therefore likely read more reviews of providers than clients, but I don't see as many providers on this forum making unsupported statements about clients. I usually see, or recall seeing, providers saying "late" and then defining it as "X mins", or saying things like "rude" and supporting it with "because the client did/said "X, Y, and Z".

Edited February 4 by APPLE1

[Guest]

A bit off topic, but I’ve never really understood the client complaint about how much time the provider spent with him. The actual time is usually more or less, and is irrelevant to me. What matters to me is what happens in that time. I can be completely satisfied in 20 minutes or 80 minutes, the point is whether I’m satisfied. If I’m not satisfied, a few more minutes won’t make a difference. Fortunately, I’ve never been dissatisfied. In part it’s because I don’t set many expectations about the encounter, recognizing that each is unique. One of the major turn-ons for me is the not knowing how the encounter will unfold, even with regular providers. But, that’s just me. It might be different if I had very specific or niche needs. I don’t; I’m just a slut.

[Guest]

I guess so, but for what? Aftercare? Conversation? Just not sure I see the point of holding someone to the minute if I’ve been satisfied. And if I’ve not been satisfied, I want him gone. But that’s just me; I’m not buying minutes, I’m buying an experience.

[Guest]

I understand; I guess for me it’s not in the timing of activities. Of course, assuming I don’t feel rushed.

[+ DrownedBoy]

6 hours ago, Km411 said:

I guess so, but for what? Aftercare? Conversation? Just not sure I see the point of holding someone to the minute if I’ve been satisfied. And if I’ve not been satisfied, I want him gone. But that’s just me; I’m not buying minutes, I’m buying an experience.

All I'm going to say here is, if you take time to have a conversation with your provider, do it. You'll learn alot, and everyone wants to be listened to.

I almost always book 2-hour sessions, so after I come the first time, I can relax and have a decent conversation. Then, after my refractory period is over, we go at it again.

[Whatsupandstuff]

On 2/2/2024 at 9:36 PM, BenjaminNicholas said:

Gunilla Garson Goldberg forbids me to let my rate go above $400.

she was a first wife a second wife and a third

[ICTJOCK]

Good thread and discussion.    I honestly haven't had too many issues with clients and always try to present myself as professional,  informed and responsible.    Most of the clients who hire me have treated me the same.    There have been exceptions.

[CuriousByNature]

12 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

I don't get the OP's point. Or more that I'd never concur with it. I don't think in this situation, the provider is ever "more in the right". there are two human beings in the discourse. Neither is ever IMHO "more right" in this situation. Whilst some clients might disrespect providers, this doesn't give licence for providers to disrespect clients either. So by the OP's logic, since he wants the "upper hand" in the setting, he can falsely advertise, shortchange his clients based on time paid for, not provide services that he openly advertises, or be rude to his clients? 

Not all providers are this way, and I've found many providers to be pleasant at the least. but some providers are full of themselves and think it's all about them. I don't think any human relationship is one-sided, and even between people of differing power levels. A parent cannot do anything they want to their child. A boss cannot do anything s/he wants to their employee, nor an army major to a lower-ranking officer or NCO. If one met President Biden or King Charles III, they couldn't just swear at you and expect you to take it because they're occupying high positions. But clients and providers are equals, and frankly i laugh at the full of themselves providers. 

Total bullshit. lol. 

 

I think we agree on the point about nobody being better than anyone else, even if society makes it seem that there is or should be a difference.  In my opinion it all comes down to empathy.  A person can empathize with what another person has to deal with in their job or their life without it suggesting that the other person is more important.  To me, this has been a good thread to read because it has raised issues and situations I never considered a provider needing to deal with.  Or things that a client may need to deal with if a provider happens to be addicted to substances or is having other serious struggles.  Kindness, care and compassion should rule the day, IMHO.

Edited February 5 by CuriousByNature

[MikeBiDude]

1 hour ago, CuriousByNature said:

I think we agree on the point about nobody being better than anyone else, even if society makes it seem that there is or should be a difference.

Agree, but I can’t help but can’t help but think of:

 

[DWnyc]

On 2/2/2024 at 5:10 PM, BenjaminNicholas said:

It's not always what you see on the board, but the information being exchanged in private.

I’ve often suspected an inverse correlation between some client virtue signaling on here when describing their views / behavior … and their reality 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, DWnyc said:

I’ve often suspected an inverse correlation between some client virtue signaling on here when describing their views / behavior … and their reality

A bit off topic (again), but how does one differentiate between virtue signaling and genuineness? I think I know it when I see it, but not really sure why.

[Simon Suraci]

6 hours ago, Km411 said:

A bit off topic (again), but how does one differentiate between virtue signaling and genuineness? I think I know it when I see it, but not really sure why.

^Behavior in real life.
 

On 2/4/2024 at 5:15 AM, Km411 said:

What matters to me is what happens in that time. I can be completely satisfied in 20 minutes or 80 minutes, the point is whether I’m satisfied. If I’m not satisfied, a few more minutes won’t make a difference.

^Truth. Recently I had a client from right here on CoM. He booked a 90 min massage. In person, he asked for more than massage, describing what he wanted (I so appreciate that btw) and we came to an agreement on the rate before starting. This is the right way to do it, unless you book everything explicitly ahead, which helps ensure I can plan better to offer exactly what you need.

I did my full back routine on him, and then before moving on to my arms routine, did some brief, playful erotic work that he was getting into and then he flipped over, unprompted. Since we didn’t get very far into the massage, I asked if he wanted to continue for a while longer, or switch to the bed for playtime. He chose the latter. We took our time.

After our activities concluded, we showered together. There was still 10-15 mins of his time remaining. I asked if he was satisfied with everything we had done, or if I can do anything else for him. The full time is his. I asked if he was satisfied with the massage time and he said yes. I was concerned because it was so short, but for some, the play is more important. As long as the client is satisfied, that’s all that matters to me.

Sometimes I go over, often close or right on time, and occasionally I go under as the natural flow of things take their course. The time doesn’t matter. Client satisfaction does.

Regarding the OP questions, there are no ugly clients. Just clients. We don’t care what you look like. Your money is just as good as the next guy’s. Hygiene you can control, so yes please respect yourself and your providers by taking care of that.

You never know what is going on with substance abuse. If you feel uncomfortable, cancel, or don’t see the provider again. It is not your responsibility to intervene or involve yourself. People with real substance abuse problems will get help when they decide to, not when someone says they should or calls emergency services.

[Rudynate]

8 hours ago, Km411 said:

A bit off topic (again), but how does one differentiate between virtue signaling and genuineness? I think I know it when I see it, but not really sure why.

That's it - you know it when you see it.