Providers and regular testing

[ICTJOCK]

So I had a client referral and he had asked to meet with me before booking.   It does happen occasionally and think it's a great idea to meet in advance and make sure

each are comfortable.   I personally view one on one communication in person to be helpful in learning what the client views as important with the session and address any questions they may have for me.    The new client asked me,    "so I hear you are dedicated to fitness and health issues and if you are,  why do you escort"?     We had a serious conversation about that and discussed my views as to regular testing (and not just HIV,  the complete review).    We talked about risks inherent in the job and the value I place on my work and the client.   He seemed satisfied with my answers and he booked me.

 

Now most clients don't ask me how often I test  or if I'm negative.   I'm asked if I'm on Prep  (which I am).   For providers,  I'm curious as to the number of your own clients that discuss this topic and the approach you take.   For clients,   what stance do you take  (or do you)  with those you hire?

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

3 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

.   For clients,   what stance do you take  (or do you)  with those you hire?

As a client, I take it as my duty to get tested regularly for all STIs, and notify my partners including escorts if I've tested positive for anything after our encounter.  I let my partners including escorts know my status up front, what prescriptions I'm taking to prevent STIs, and that I prefer bareback.  In summary, I act like a responsible adult and found my partners and escorts do as well.  I've only ever had a masseur decline to meet with me once because I was not vaccinated against the 2019 Chinese coronavirus.

Edited October 29, 2023 by Vegas_Millennial

[DWnyc]

I fall on the cynical side because many conversations I’ve tried to have on this with providers have been met with eye rolls. Not all providers -but enough. 

I’ve also found at least 6 providers in my geography (3 I’ve met, 3 i haven’t) have not been truthful (either on the site or in conversations) about some health status info. Some others in New York on this forum will have had this experience (as we have discussed it) and I assume this happens elsewhere as well. 

So I take the perspective that I’ll be responsible for myself, offer discussion on my health (honestly it’s rarely been taken up) and would contact a provider just like any other partner if I needed to in event of any news. 

@ICTJOCK curious, did you charge for the additional meeting time for the pre session discussion? I’ve had at least 2 providers suggest a quick phone call to discuss anything beforehand (which could and did include health / safety issues but weren’t framed exclusively as such) but my hunch is even if I had the time for a pre meeting they would typically not want this unless it was added to the total session times.

 

[ICTJOCK]

10 hours ago, DWnyc said:

I fall on the cynical side because many conversations I’ve tried to have on this with providers have been met with eye rolls. Not all providers -but enough. 

I’ve also found at least 6 providers in my geography (3 I’ve met, 3 i haven’t) have not been truthful (either on the site or in conversations) about some health status info. Some others in New York on this forum will have had this experience (as we have discussed it) and I assume this happens elsewhere as well. 

So I take the perspective that I’ll be responsible for myself, offer discussion on my health (honestly it’s rarely been taken up) and would contact a provider just like any other partner if I needed to in event of any news. 

@ICTJOCK curious, did you charge for the additional meeting time for the pre session discussion? I’ve had at least 2 providers suggest a quick phone call to discuss anything beforehand (which could and did include health / safety issues but weren’t framed exclusively as such) but my hunch is even if I had the time for a pre meeting they would typically not want this unless it was added to the total session times.

I can understand your approach with regard to health issues and you are certainly prudent to take care of yourself first.     I believe for my own peace of mind,  I need to start with a "healthy slate"  and know I'm doing the best for all concerned.

As far as meeting with the proposed client,   no I didn't charge.    I never charge when meeting with a client about proposed services.   I've had them buy me a drink or lunch or even dinner,  but I have never charged a client for a consultation.

10 hours ago, DWnyc said:

 

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

18 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

As a client, I take it as my duty to get tested regularly for all STIs, and notify my partners including escorts if I've tested positive for anything after our encounter.  I let my partners including escorts know my status up front, what prescriptions I'm taking to prevent STIs, and that I prefer bareback.  In summary, I act like a responsible adult and found my partners and escorts do as well.  I've only ever had a masseur decline to meet with me once because I was not vaccinated against the 2019 Chinese coronavirus.

To add... I've never asked an escort about their testing status or their meds.  I take responsibility for my actions, not theirs.

[Your Man in Arlington]

On 10/28/2023 at 5:32 PM, ICTJOCK said:

I'm asked if I'm on Prep  (which I am).

This could be useful information for a client or provider if the other person is honest. I'm on Prep and as AFAIK the protocol requires you to be tested for all STDs every 60 - 90 days (shots v pills). Maybe some healthcare providers don't thoroughly test before each prescription renewal?

Edited October 30, 2023 by Your Man in Arlington
Added period at end of sentence.

[DWnyc]

13 hours ago, Your Man in Arlington said:

This could be useful information for a client or provider if the other person is honest. I'm on Prep and as AFAIK the protocol requires you to be tested for all STDs every 60 - 90 days (shots v pills). Maybe some healthcare providers don't thoroughly test before each prescription renewal?

That and some not on insurance get their treatment from generics overseas or online etc with less strict testing or prescription requirements

 

[DWnyc]

19 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

I never charge when meeting with a client about proposed services.

You are generous with your time, then. I can’t see that being offered out here. 

[ICTJOCK]

4 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

You are generous with your time, then. I can’t see that being offered out here. 

Other areas of my business life have an effect....lol

[marylander1940]

On 10/28/2023 at 8:49 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

As a client, I take it as my duty to get tested regularly for all STIs, and notify my partners including escorts if I've tested positive for anything after our encounter.  I let my partners including escorts know my status up front, what prescriptions I'm taking to prevent STIs, and that I prefer bareback.  In summary, I act like a responsible adult and found my partners and escorts do as well.  I've only ever had a masseur decline to meet with me once because I was not vaccinated against the 2019 Chinese coronavirus.

Are you vaccinated against covid-19 now? 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

11 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Are you vaccinated against covid-19 now? 

Thank you for your concern, but should we meet I would hope you have enough confidence in your own vaccination status to not need to worry about mine.  Similarly, I would hope someone's decision to use a condom or to take PreP would not be based on if I did or did not use a condom or PreP during the pandemic, but rather on their own health and risk tolerance.

If you're asking because you're concerned for my health, then questions about vaccination status against measles, tetanus, shingles, whooping cough, pneumonia, meningitis,  etc., or even this year's flu are probably just as or more justified for concern.  Yet we don't ask that information of strangers, hookups, or escorts.  (Or do we?)  Do you ask your escort to disclose his measles vaccination record?

Asking about HIV status, test date, PreP use is relevant for sexual partners because it may affect the decision to use a condom.  I don't know how someone asking if I'm vaccinated against the 2019 virus from Wuhan would affect their decision to ask me to use a condom.

[marylander1940]

13 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Thank you for your concern, but should we meet I would hope you have enough confidence in your own vaccination status to not need to worry about mine.  Similarly, I would hope someone's decision to use a condom or to take PreP would not be based on if I did or did not use a condom or PreP during the pandemic, but rather on their own health and risk tolerance.

If you're asking because you're concerned for my health, then questions about vaccination status against measles, tetanus, shingles, whooping cough, pneumonia, meningitis,  etc., or even this year's flu are probably just as or more justified for concern.  Yet we don't ask that information of strangers, hookups, or escorts.  (Or do we?)  Do you ask your escort to disclose his measles vaccination record?

Asking about HIV status, test date, PreP use is relevant for sexual partners because it may affect the decision to use a condom.  I don't know how someone asking if I'm vaccinated against the 2019 virus from Wuhan would affect their decision to ask me to use a condom.

You take prep but you don't trust the covid-19 vaccine? 

Not dragging this out of subject but what makes you trust part of what  doctors tell you to do including their STD testing and treatment, and not everything they recommend you.

Btw you forgot to call it Kung Flu and China Flu... 😉

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

8 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

You take prep but you don't trust the covid-19 vaccine? 

Not dragging this out of subject but what makes you trust part of what  doctors tell you to do including their STD testing and treatment, and not everything they recommend you.

Btw you forgot to call it Kung Flu and China Flu... 😉

I never said I take PreP.  I also did not say that I currently am or am not vaccinated against any particular virus.  That is my point!  None of this needs to be known by anyone other than me and my doctor.  I am not going to hand over my vaccination record to a masseur or escort.  Therefore, I also do not see a red flag when a masseur or escorts does not disclose his HIV status or vaccination record in his advertisement.

 

Edited November 11, 2023 by Vegas_Millennial

[Luv2play]

3 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I never said I take PreP.  I also did not say that I currently am or am not vaccinated against any particular virus.  That is my point!  None of this needs to be known by anyone other than me and my doctor.  I am not going to hand over my vaccination record to a masseur or escort.  Therefore, I also do not see a red flag when a masseur or escorts does not disclose his HIV status or vaccination record in his advertisement.

 

I think I would avoid getting too close to you. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

5 hours ago, Luv2play said:

I think I would avoid getting too close to you. 

That's the typical reaction our brothers and sisters with HIV or AIDS experience far too often.  Hence the laws for medical privacy were created.  I would hate for a part-time masseur to lose his day job because his employer discovered his HIV status listed on his advertisement and reacted out of fear or bigotry.  Hence why, to original poster's question, I don't mind if a provider chooses to not publish his health status on the internet.

[pubic_assistance]

7 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Hence the laws for medical privacy were created. 

BIG difference between losing your job as a cashier and choosing not to let you dump in my ass with a load of HIV.

Sorry.

That said....the likelihood of people being honest in general is low. So YOU need to navigate your own health decisions. Wear a condom.

[dbar123]

I’m always amazed at the reaction I get from escorts when I request condom use and the tell me it’s unnecessary since they’re on PREP. It’s not just HIV that concerns me, it’s all the other STD’s and communicable stuff that have yet to be identified. All it takes is just one bad day….

[Rod Hagen]

On 11/11/2023 at 4:55 AM, pubic_assistance said:

BIG difference between losing your job as a cashier and choosing not to let you dump in my ass with a load of HIV.

I think Michael Lucas made a good point about this long ago.  It's fine if people want to disclose their HIV status, their vaccination status, and their medication-adherence status.  Nevertheless, you should assume everyone might be positive with something infectious, because they could be, and choose to protect yourself, or not, accordingly.  

Edited January 10 by Rod Hagen

[Rod Hagen]

On 1/7/2024 at 5:25 PM, dbar123 said:

I’m always amazed at the reaction I get from escorts when I request condom use and the tell me it’s unnecessary since they’re on PREP. It’s not just HIV that concerns me, it’s all the other STD’s and communicable stuff that have yet to be identified. All it takes is just one bad day….

I told the story here before that years ago I was walking to Starbucks and on the sidewalk was a chalked ad for the LGBT center's PREP campaign:  "Fuck without fear"  I Was so angry I went to their clinic and started balling them out, of course starting out with "I know it's not you personally who created that ad, but there is an antibiotic resistant Gonorrhea problem going round and that ad around town...." and then going off.  

[pubic_assistance]

On 1/11/2024 at 10:43 AM, Rod Hagen said:

there is an antibiotic resistant Gonorrhea problem going round and that ad around town...

THANK YOU @Rod Hagen !!

I find the whole attitude frighteningly clueless.

[marylander1940]

On 11/10/2023 at 3:57 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

I never said I take PreP.  I also did not say that I currently am or am not vaccinated against any particular virus.  That is my point!  None of this needs to be known by anyone other than me and my doctor.  I am not going to hand over my vaccination record to a masseur or escort.  Therefore, I also do not see a red flag when a masseur or escorts does not disclose his HIV status or vaccination record in his advertisement.

 

It's an online anonymous forum, you have expressed your opinion on many subjects and have shared many stories about your sexuality.... why are you so shy about this issue? 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

No matter how you play, safe-bare-etc, it's your responsibility to KNOW YOUR STATUS.  

You shouldn't be having sex if you can't regularly get a STD panel.

The sooner you know there's a problem, the sooner you can treat it.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

3 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

It's an online anonymous forum, you have expressed your opinion on many subjects and have shared many stories about your sexuality.... why are you so shy about this issue? 

I attribute it to my humble Appalachian upbringing.  Were we taught that healthcare was between a patient and his doctor. 😊

 

[ShortCutie7]

To be honest, I would never meet a provider who did not have his status explicitly written on his profile.  I can understand having a day job and not wanting to be found out, but providing is a job as well, and IMO it’s my right as a potential client to know that very important piece of information before I contact someone.  It’s like a restaurant having a menu without any prices- the prices are a crucial determinant as to whether the vast majority of customers can afford to eat there.

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I attribute it to my humble Appalachian upbringing.  Were we taught that healthcare was between a patient and his doctor. 😊

 

at least you share with us all other juicy details!