Deposits and pushiness

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I suppose…I guess it’s all in the delivery. I think when the client heard deposit and picture, it may have come off wrong way. I usually don’t require both. But many don’t have an issue volunteering. And of course, sending/receiving a pic is by no means an automatic pass of screening. People send pics that aren’t even them, and make up whole lies. So it’s really not something to bank on solely.

Now this is just my opinion based off years of experience, if I asked for a photo ( which I've never asked anyone for ) AND I asked for a deposit ( which I've only asked from someone who cancelled last minute and who I have never met  ) I think asking for 1 would ward most away, asking for both is just asking to hear crickets 🦗 but like I said before I have my own way of doing things that work for me and may not work for others 

Sometimes people send me a face photo which I always appreciate but I let them volunteer it rather than me ever asking for one. It's nice to see a friendly face that matches the friendly correspondence. 

[Jamie21]

I think sometimes clients send a face pic or a body pic voluntarily because they want to be reassured that the escort or masseur likes them. I’ve had clients send pics voluntarily and ask me if they’re suitable to come. Of course they’re suitable! 

They don’t realise that it just doesn’t matter to me what they look like. It matters to me that they want to book me because they like what they see and what I might be able to do for them. It’s about them accepting me much more than it is about me accepting them. The irony is that being hired is the greatest turn on. 

 

 

[Your Man in Arlington]

13 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

The photo request is a red flag. Regardless of the deposit issue you were right to disengage when he asked for a photo. He shouldn’t need a photo. 

I've had one provider politely ask me me if I had any photos to share. His profile is well written and includes a large number and range of photos (face, full body including face, etc...), and he is positively and deeply reviewed on RM and Daddy's.

Given the asymmetry and amount of information I had, I felt comfortable doing so.

He's been great connection and is on his way to becoming a regular. I can speculate as to why he would request photos; but I never asked, as at this point it doesn't seem to matter.

Still, I wouldn't feel comfortable sending photos to a less known provider for all the reasons stated above.

Edited November 2, 2023 by Your Man in Arlington
Added final thoughts.

[Guest]

I think I've only been asked for a deposit once.  I may have paid it, but I can't remember.  I have been asked to pay up front several times.  I do have Venmo, Cash App, etc.  However, I think there is a difference in a deposit vs. paying up front.  I don't like paying up front, because that means I typically am expected to add the tip in at the beginning before I experienced the service.

I have been asked to provide a pic before.  Typically I viewed that for security reasons.  I often voluntarily send a pic because I want the masseur to know what I look like when some strange person is coming to their home/hotel room.  I always explain that and I only send a face pic after the appointment is confirmed. It is a fully clothed head shot.   Now, I do ask if they accept all body types because I have been turned down multiple times for my weight.  I am currently less than 300 lbs, but a bit over 250 lbs. Many masseurs have told me they have a 250 lb weight limit because their table will break.

I have also been told my LMTs that is bullshit, so take that how you will.

[pubic_assistance]

17 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

21 hours ago, Gandalf said:

 

The photo request is a red flag. Regardless of the deposit issue you were right to disengage when he asked for a photo. He shouldn’t need a photo. 

I don't agree at all.

Too many of you feel that an escort should be able to perform now matter how hideously grotesque the customer may be. That's just a ridiculous expectation. Most aren't looking for a hot date but they do have a right to reject the most repulsive or refuse certain types of sexual favors to men who are so ridiculously out-of-shape they can't find their ass or dick.

Edited November 2, 2023 by pubic_assistance

[Rudynate]

49 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't agree at all.

Too many of you feel that an escort should be able to perform now matter how hideously grotesque the customer may be. That's just a ridiculous expectation. Most aren't looking for a hit date but they do have a right to reject the most repulsive or refuse certain types of sexual favors to men who are so ridiculously out-of-shape they can't find their ass or dick.

Wow -  say the quiet part out loud.

[marylander1940]

On 10/27/2023 at 8:35 PM, borgerback said:

So I'm not completely opposed to deposits; however, I'm finding more and more providers really pushing them.  I think I get it with new clients, but it's irritating and a bit nerve-wracking.  I'd do it with guys well thought of from this site, I suppose. 

 

Apologies if I'm not finding a recent thread on this topic.

Burner numbers have empowered potential clients to play games, flakiness has skyrocketed... Some providers think better safe than sorry and ask for deposits to make sure folks aren't playing games with them. 

IT has also made simpler sending money through apps in an anonymous way. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't agree at all.

Too many of you feel that an escort should be able to perform now matter how hideously grotesque the customer may be. That's just a ridiculous expectation. Most aren't looking for a hot date but they do have a right to reject the most repulsive or refuse certain types of sexual favors to men who are so ridiculously out-of-shape they can't find their ass or dick.

I may be in the minority here ( I certainly hope not though ) in that what clients look like is completely immaterial and inconsequential... the looks part is my part of the equation not theirs... also to note is that both beauty and "grotesque" are in the eye of the beholder.... if clients looks were critical and part of a criteria, it's highly unlikely that I would have been able to make a success and remain  relevant, competitive and would not have attained any sort of longevity in a business not always kind with regards to a shelf life. 
More importantly, the people we see sometimes have careers and lives that keep them from sending out photos...  

[Jamie21]

9 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

I may be in the minority here ( I certainly hope not though ) in that what clients look like is completely immaterial and inconsequential... the looks part is my part of the equation not theirs... also to note is that both beauty and "grotesque" are in the eye of the beholder.... if clients looks were critical and part of a criteria, it's highly unlikely that I would have been able to make a success and remain  relevant, competitive and would not have attained any sort of longevity in a business not always kind with regards to a shelf life. 
More importantly, the people we see sometimes have careers and lives that keep them from sending out photos...  

I don’t think you’re in the minority. I agree with you, and I think most providers would. I don’t care what my clients look like. Sometimes someone is really fat and that presents logistical problems but it doesn’t mean he isn’t deserving of having fun. Some of my clients are disabled and I know they’ve told me some guys turned them down which I find really sad. It’s their loss because those clients are some of my best. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

8 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't agree at all.

Too many of you feel that an escort should be able to perform now matter how hideously grotesque the customer may be. That's just a ridiculous expectation. Most aren't looking for a hot date but they do have a right to reject the most repulsive or refuse certain types of sexual favors to men who are so ridiculously out-of-shape they can't find their ass or dick.

For once, I actually concur with you 

 

But on a serious and less “harsh” note than you stated: I think there’s other reasons for it as well.

I can give an example; couple years or so ago: I had a first time client want to come to a place I was hosting…but it was a shared 3 family home (common in the Midwest and places like Denver, where there is one big home with 1 entrance, but 3 or 4 separate residences…which I will never ever live in again unless it’s an actually townhome style like I’ve seen in St. Louis and DC). 

 

Well, as he was walking up…the neighbor girl and her boyfriend and another woman were downstairs out on the porch with a dog. The client had to make a long trek from the street to the front door of the house. Meanwhile, these people are outside wondering who this large, older White dude in a suit was walking towards the door. 
 

It’s not that I am judging the client’s look or feel some type of way about him…but things like that are why it can be helpful to know what someone looks like. And let’s face the facts: there’s many clients who don’t host (or will have me pull into their garage, so nobody will see, which I HIGHLY suggest against for safety and other reasons) because they don’t want their neighbors to see who’s coming. We should be able to reserve that right too. 

If I had known what he looked like, I would have told him to wait until the coast is clear, or simply scheduled him at a later time. But like I said, it was the wrong type of place to host anyway. 

7 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Burner numbers have empowered potential clients to play games, flakiness has skyrocketed... Some providers think better safe than sorry and ask for deposits to make sure folks aren't playing games with them. 

IT has also made simpler sending money through apps in an anonymous way. 

And it’s not just that. As you’ll be able to see from this iPhone conversation: My reason for asking deposit is because, I’m not about to be waiting around on indecisive people all day to figure out what they can do. This is the EXACT reason why I continue to do so. This guy sent a deposit before, but then didn’t want to send another because he wasn’t sure. But yet I’m supposed to wait around for 5-6 hours expecting an appointment, only for him to NCNS?

and then today:

 

Deal with this shit a few times, and from people like this over and over and over again: eventually you learn to start asking for deposits and don’t waste time making any concessions for the ones who find an excuses not to.

Edited November 2, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[jayman]

Under no circumstances should you pay a deposit. These escorts are only in it for the money, if they get money from you (the deposit) for doing nothing, it is very likely that they are not going ahead with the booking and will scam you.

Even if you met them before, don't pay a deposit. As they can still scam you.

If they still insist on a deposit, book elsewhere. Plenty of other guys that don't require a deposit.

[Guest]

46 minutes ago, jayman said:

Under no circumstances should you pay a deposit. These escorts are only in it for the money

There are circumstances where they are warranted as I  have already pointed out but i would say that 99% of the time it's not a good business tactic...  

as for "these escorts are only in for the money" I'm going to respectfully call you Captain Obvious and also will say that someone could say that " these clients are only in it for the pleasure " without offense 😂

Edited November 2, 2023 by Vin_Marco

[jayman]

Yes clients are in it for the pleasure. What I meant by escorts only being in it for the money, is that they are not there to build a strong business model or innovate the experience of the client - like other businesses. Escorts simply want to get paid, paying them in advance is a guaranteed way of them flaking out on you.

No situation ever warrants for you to pay a deposit. It's not like you can go to the police in some countries.

Payment on delivery, simple as that.

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, jayman said:

Yes clients are in it for the pleasure. What I meant by escorts only being in it for the money, is that they are not there to build a strong business model or innovate the experience of the client - like other businesses. Escorts simply want to get paid, paying them in advance is a guaranteed way of them flaking out on you.

No situation ever warrants for you to pay a deposit. It's not like you can go to the police in some countries.

Payment on delivery, simple as that.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.... IF I decide to respond to somebody who I've never met that didn't keep their commitment. ( yes I store ALL the FLAKES because they will always reach out again and again  ) 99% of the time I will not respond however if I do I might remind them that I recall them not keeping their commitment and if they would like to see me, I would require not just a deposit but the full payment upfront before I saw them..... if they do or  don't it's still win win for me because they either pay it or they leave me alone .... many have agreed and we've never spoken about the unreliable behavior.... that's really the only time I've ever asked for a deposit or to be paid in full prior to "spending time" other than that I don't bother asking for a deposit.
 

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, jayman said:

Yes clients are in it for the pleasure. What I meant by escorts only being in it for the money, is that they are not there to build a strong business model or innovate the experience of the client - like other businesses. Escorts simply want to get paid, paying them in advance is a guaranteed way of them flaking out on you.

No situation ever warrants for you to pay a deposit. It's not like you can go to the police in some countries.

Payment on delivery, simple as that.

Let me remind you... I'm on your side. I HATE reading that people got ripped off or burned.

[jayman]

Doing business is not about being aggressive or having terms that are not on arms lengths to your customers. Escorts should understand they are running a business and a service, where client satisfaction is very important. Escorts should try to communicate there terms and conditions ahead of clients in a friendly manner, for example you might say 'please let me know if you cancel or change your mind one or two days before hand'. If the client cancel last minute you might say 'this cancellation is really unacceptable given I could have other bookings', you might then want to give them another chance as a gesture of goodwill. If the client flakes again then simply say you can no longer do business with them.

Making the client experience better is a win-win situation, not only would you have repeat clients but word of mouth is actually quiet big in this business.

There's different ways in approaching situations like these. I for one would never pay the full amount upfront.

[Brock O]

51 minutes ago, jayman said:

Yes clients are in it for the pleasure. What I meant by escorts only being in it for the money, is that they are not there to build a strong business model or innovate the experience of the client - like other businesses. Escorts simply want to get paid, paying them in advance is a guaranteed way of them flaking out on you.

No situation ever warrants for you to pay a deposit. It's not like you can go to the police in some countries.

Payment on delivery, simple as that.

I mostly agree with you on the deposits (although I have done so twice, and both times it worked out just fine.  Both were guys with very strong reputations and great reviews), but disagree on the business model and innovative experience.  The best in the business are savvy with their business model, and are certainly "innovative" in ways I have found very enjoyable! 

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, jayman said:

Just now, Brock O said:

I mostly agree with you on the deposits (although I have done so twice, and both times it worked out just fine.  Both were guys with very strong reputations and great reviews), but disagree on the business model and innovative experience.  The best in the business are savvy with their business model, and are certainly "innovative" in ways I have found very enjoyable! 

You nailed it baby!  Thank youuuu 🙌🏽

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, jayman said:

'please let me know if you cancel or change your mind one or two days before hand'. If the client cancel last minute you might say 'this cancellation is really unacceptable given I could have other bookings', you might then want to give them another chance as a gesture of goodwill. If the client flakes again then simply say you can no longer do business with them.

Oh you mean like:

 

But at the end of the day, I don’t have time for all that. People like this detract from the overall purpose of being in the business. Like I said earlier, I don’t mind sending them away if they always have an excuse. Even though I didn’t go out of my way or lift a finger, as I didn’t without a deposit: If I did make arrangements, that would have been setting my whole afternoon, booking a room only for him to never get back to me.

 

And that’s why I don’t do it.
 

I understand where you’re coming from but, at the end of the day: people don’t necessarily treat us with the customer service values you harp on. Also, unlike other industries: we’re not obligated to act in perfect smiling, no confrontation, take the abuse. They do that for the greater image of the company and to make the brand, name and superiors look good.

RentM isn’t an employer so therefore, we set our own rules and boundaries. I’ve also said before: some areas deposits are more required than others. In cities where people tend to be habitual flakers/stand ups/or risky inquiries (Kansas City/St. Louis, Dallas/Houston, Tampa, Indianapolis, Phoenix to name a few), I wouldn’t dare work without a deposit.
 

Matter fact, I did work in all those cities without deposits, and experienced lot of nonsense and wasting of money believing clients would show up or other clients would book if another flaked. And that’s why I don’t do it.
 

But it’s a select few others that I could trust clients to come thru either by genuine sincerity or lack of other options in abundance. Even then, I try to still mention it. Trying to go back to doing business without doing any deposits, is not something I’m willing to go back to.

1 hour ago, Vin_Marco said:

Let me remind you... I'm on your side. I HATE reading that people got ripped off or burned.

Right, and I often say: for every 1 time a client has been ripped off, multiply that by 10 for the escorts..

Edited November 2, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ BobPS]

54 minutes ago, Brock O said:

I mostly agree with you on the deposits (although I have done so twice, and both times it worked out just fine.  Both were guys with very strong reputations and great reviews), but disagree on the business model and innovative experience.  The best in the business are savvy with their business model, and are certainly "innovative" in ways I have found very enjoyable! 

Agreed. The best in any business, regardless of their chosen occupation, take pride in their work and strive to provide an excellent product or service .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

9 hours ago, jayman said:

Under no circumstances should you pay a deposit. if they get money from you (the deposit) for doing nothing, it is very likely that they are not going ahead with the booking and will scam you.

Even if you met them before, don't pay a deposit. As they can still scam you.

If they still insist on a deposit, book elsewhere. Plenty of other guys that don't require a deposit.

 

9 hours ago, jayman said:

Escorts simply want to get paid, paying them in advance is a guaranteed way of them flaking out on you.

No situation ever warrants for you to pay a deposit. It's not like you can go to the police in some countries.

Payment on delivery, simple as that.

I just need to say as well: this type of advice needs to be addressed and moderated (hint hint). It’s one thing to have an opinion or preference, it’s entirely different when making generalizations that’s not true. Especially when you throw in guarantee in the mix.

You’ve gone beyond a preference and basically just make an incorrect (borderline slanderous) suggestion about providers who charge deposits. Even though this is a forum where opinions are welcome and exchanged, I don’t think that’s a pass to start throwing out potentially damaging assessments based on…bad apples.
 

As I’ve said before: there’s plenty stories I can tell of clients getting ripped off without a deposit. Even with cash. I’ve seen it right before my eyes. There’s also plenty stories I can tell of clients who send deposits and flake themselves. 

By denigrating everyone who charges deposits, you’re basically perpetuating the discrimination and prejudice towards sex  workers, by making us out like to be frauds and scammers. And that does nothing to fuel decrim that would help bring about a more honest and safe exchange: which would like you said, help facilitate a society where one CAN be free to contact police if a client or provider ever ends up in a potentially harmful situation. 

Edited November 3, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[pubic_assistance]

10 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I just need to say as well: this type of advice needs to be addressed and moderated (hint hint).

People are allowed their opinion. Under no circumstances should anyone be silenced for having a difference of opinion. Both sides are quite confident they are right....so who gets to decide what's removed? People have different perspectives and quite honestly Jarrod, this conversation is most frequently against YOUR side. So I am speaking in your defense. Even though I disagree with most of your viewpoints on the subject. I will always defend your right to share it. Were this to be "moderated" based on majority opinion, YOU would be the one silenced.

Edited November 3, 2023 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[blck37]

On 11/1/2023 at 2:12 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I still stand by my decision to require deposits, despite what may have been shared here. I also have a hard time believing someone who says they’ve never been asked for a deposit. I’m sorry, no offense, but unless someone is only contacting a certain type of provider…I just can’t see it. You can’t tell me you’ve asked a provider to come see you from an hour or 2, maybe even: visiting from halfway around the country away: and not been asked a deposit. I don’t believe it. If so: just say you’ve never asked to see a provider further than a few blocks away or, one who wasn’t ALREADY in attendance or visiting wherever you may have also been in attendance.

I know this topic been discussed to death, but I never get tired of talking about it though. I’m still willing to defend deposits as much as needed, even if I don’t need to. I’m also willing to accept exceptions: considering last week I did take 2 bookings without a deposit, however one was an outcall to a clients hotel very close to where I was staying, and the other ran into me in person after having prior seen my ad.

I have even heard clients tell me they don’t do deposits, but then later learn they have a cash app or Venmo account. And have even later paid be thru that method.

If the business ever moves into official Decrim, and/or if things continue online: I highly believe deposits would become the norm. I’ve already made deposits part of my website, there’s not much stopping other sites like RentM from making that a feature, and simply branding it as “pay for a pornstar”. So, don’t be surprised…if it ever happens. 

My thing is: for every person who talks about deposits, I rarely ever see a legitimate reason why one can’t. I’ve know people send deposits by all means: cash in mail (in fact a former member of this forum even offered to do so with me, but at the time: things were “different” and I told him I would settle upon arrival), other means are western Union, Moneygram, cash app, Venmo, etc etc. 

If someone is going to pay for something, what difference does it make whether they pay a portion ahead anyway? And then, some people expect to do the deed and pay afterwards. By the time you do all that, you basically got the person for free, and can pull a gun out on them and tell them to get the fuck out…technically. What’s stopping you from doing that. Morals?
 

Okay…so all clients have morals is what you’re saying, including the ones who no show, or fake appointment requests? Only to not respond and then do the same shit two years later, only to not respond again, do the same shit again the next year, and the next year, and the year after?  🤷🏾‍♂️ 

People need to get to a better mindset in this industry. So many people equate asking for any money upfront as a scam, or a sign of the provider not having money, etc etc. Time out for that. It’s a bit selfish and condescending to make as if the provider should shoulder all the initial responsibility of getting to/providing a place to host. Someone is going to end up alone or in a worse predicament.

Case in point: one of the clients I seen the other day, paid a couple guys. I don’t think they asked for deposits: but his story was, he paid one guy $1,000 for the night and only got 2 hours before the guy got “tired”.  He ended up booking with me later on. 
 

Overall: The big issue is, clients in 2023 and even particularly in some areas: have become more flakier than ever. Unless a provider works only from home, doesn’t travel or do Outcalls and possibly has another stream of revenue: deposit may not be needed. Or, if you’re in a city or neighborhood where things are relatively within close range…It may also not be required.
 

But not every escort has the same situation. Like for me, I often have to travel to the next city or state, FEW STATES away to see clients. I would be foolish to do that without at least mentioning deposits. If when I arrive I have the luxury to be flexible, I won’t. But I also feel it’s fair to require the same standards from all clients, and even hosting a client without asking a deposit: has caused issues for me; guys who pretend they are showing up around noon, and then I book the room an extra night and they don’t show, or people who show up with no/less money than agreed. Even have had walk outs and no pay after offering services.

The provider is always in the position of carrying the heavier burden, than the client. Even if you stand the chance to lose $50-$100: the provider can be losing $150-$300 per session for every flaky client. Just like for me last month, I counted up about $2,000 in fraudulent bookings, from clients who requested appointments but failed to follow thru. I hope each one gets the karma they deserve…

80% of my booking are with traveling providers, never once they asked for deposit (to date). Only instance was request from one of the 20% (who is local) and I got scammed. Dude never turn up. I only do outcall so there is never any financial risk for provider to book hotel room etc.

Separately, I am a bit confused with your method of determining loss. Loss of opportunity (whish is indirect in nature) is not the same with monetary direct loss. The former is highly contestable, but not the latter.

[Gandalf]

The contempt for clients in this thread is pretty educational.

 

Edited November 3, 2023 by Gandalf

[Guest]

18 minutes ago, Gandalf said:

The contempt for clients in this thread is pretty educational.

 

I agree that there are some gross generalizations and large swath painting I have a tough time relating to. All of this needs to be fun and if it's not fun for both sides I just don't see the point in doing something that isn't fun, giving or receiving pleasure. 

Edited November 3, 2023 by Vin_Marco