First timer advice, provider reco (SF, Sacto, Montreal, Buenos Aires)

[Geeky30s]

Hello! I'm new here and was wondering if you had advice for a first timer. I'm most concerned about having an encounter with law enforcement in the cities listed (I live in one of them and can/will travel to the other for both work & personal reasons). What are some reasonable precautions I should take? I have a good & stable career that would be in serious risk if anything like this came to light (or, really, I had any kind of encounter with law enforcement outside of a traffic stop).

Currently I am planning on using an app number (Hushed) to ask for two "full body massage" appointments and nothing else via text, actually stick to a massage the first time, and ask in person for the follow up appointment with "full service". I'm also planning on getting a hotel room, and meeting them first in the lobby of that hotel (to see if they match their profile). I'd also only bring cash and leave my ID/cards at home or perhaps in the hotel safe. 

Anything else I should be doing? Or is some of this excessive/unnecessary?

Also, any reliable provider recommendations in the same cities would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of messaging AlexHunk and Marcus_XL from rentmen in Montreal, River_W and Softhands in San Francisco, Pietru in Sacramento, and Ferfromarg in Buenos Aires.

I'd really appreciate any tips! I am super nervous about going through with this.

[maninsoma]

I remember having more of your nervousness when I was new to hiring.  I'll just throw out some ideas that will hopefully calm some of your anxiety:

There definitely aren't police stings in San Francisco for men hiring escorts online, assuming you don't go after someone who looks too young (and I don't even know if law enforcement is using their resources to address sex exploitation like that), so I really don't think there's a reason to be concerned with law enforcement here.  I cannot speak to the other cities you listed.

I think a far bigger concern would be to choose some shady character who attempts to harm/extort you.  Since you mention your career could be at risk if this came to light, it doesn't take law enforcement for your hiring to become public knowledge.  There have been previous threads here about providers who attempted to blackmail clients after having gotten personal information about them using their phone number, address, real name, etc.  I personally never worried about this because I didn't care if my family found out and don't think it would have impacted my job, but if you are in that position my recommendation is this: Stick to guys with a proven track record of providing services and getting positive reviews.  I'm not talking a few 5-star reviews on Rentmen, which can be manipulated quite easily by a shady alleged provider.  I'm talking about following forum advice and hiring guys who have a positive reputation amongst members here.

Now that I attempted to minimize your anxiety a bit, I will perhaps raise it with this somewhat scary tale from my past: I called a phone number in an escort ad on Craigslist 25 years or so ago and the number I called was answered "San Francisco Police Department."  I hung up.  I got a call back and got a "lecture" from someone saying I should be careful about what I was doing because I could get in trouble.  I don't think the call back was from the police.  I think some vigilante was just playing games and trying to scare people who were hiring escorts.

[TorontoDrew]

23 hours ago, Geeky30s said:

Hello! I'm new here and was wondering if you had advice for a first timer. I'm most concerned about having an encounter with law enforcement in the cities listed (I live in one of them and can/will travel to the other for both work & personal reasons). What are some reasonable precautions I should take? I have a good & stable career that would be in serious risk if anything like this came to light (or, really, I had any kind of encounter with law enforcement outside of a traffic stop).

Currently I am planning on using an app number (Hushed) to ask for two "full body massage" appointments and nothing else via text, actually stick to a massage the first time, and ask in person for the follow up appointment with "full service". I'm also planning on getting a hotel room, and meeting them first in the lobby of that hotel (to see if they match their profile). I'd also only bring cash and leave my ID/cards at home or perhaps in the hotel safe. 

Anything else I should be doing? Or is some of this excessive/unnecessary?

Also, any reliable provider recommendations in the same cities would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of messaging AlexHunk and Marcus_XL from rentmen in Montreal, River_W and Softhands in San Francisco, Pietru in Sacramento, and Ferfromarg in Buenos Aires.

I'd really appreciate any tips! I am super nervous about going through with this.

I was with Marcus_XL last week and can vouch that he looks like his pics or better.  You can also be assured he's not entrapping you.

[+ azdr0710]

welcome to the forum....we're here to help!........

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/142802-etiquette-for-initial-communication/

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/130365-caveats-in-hiring-please-contribute/

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/83821-advice-for-a-newbie-please/

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/103088-newbie-question/

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/13389-recommendations-for-newbie/

 

Edited October 6, 2023 by azdr0710

[rvwnsd]

Welcome to Company of Men. You are in the right place to ask questions and seek advice. 

I'm going to be direct and get to the point: Are you sure you are ready to do this?

Your post strikes me as being tinged with a sense that you are doing something shameful and wrong and will be punished for it. You aren't doing anything wrong or shameful and the likelihood of law enforcement running a male escort sting in a major US city is pretty low. Like near 0% probability. 

When I hired a guy for the first time (1996, I think - I was in my low 30's) I thought very hard about what it was I wanted and set out to get it. For me, I wanted to worship a guy's muscles, suck his dick, eat his ass, sniff and lick his armpits, kiss, and get each other off. So...I looked for providers who seemed to be into this, contacted them, expressed what I wanted, and asked if they were into a similar scene. This was pre-internet, so it was a bit of a challenge, but the approach worked. 

So, I'll ask you: what is it you are looking for? Is just a massage what you want or do you want more? This isn't about what you think you "should" do (there are no "shoulds" in this hobby), it's about what you desire to do. Also, are you looking for a regular provider with whom you can ease into what you want? If that's the case, then make sure the provider lives in the city in which you would hire him, else he won't be there the next time you want to see him.

My advice is to make a list of all the things you want to do with another man. Yes, a physical list. (You don't have to use pen and paper - MS Word or your favorite notepad app will do just fine.) Then, tick off the things you want to do on your first playdate. Lastly, when you identify guys who interest you state in your first message what you like/want to do and ask if they could get into them. Also, mention you are a first-time client and want to go slow. 

Having said all that, the most important piece of advice I can give you is "relax." 

 

 

[Geeky30s]

Thank you all for the thoughtful answers. I am mulling this over but feeling a tad more confident. To clarify: I don’t think there is anything shameful or wrong about hiring, and I am fairly experienced with guys - I really just do worry about legal issues (and, now, the possibility of blackmailing…)

[TorontoDrew]

2 hours ago, Geeky30s said:

Thank you all for the thoughtful answers. I am mulling this over but feeling a tad more confident. To clarify: I don’t think there is anything shameful or wrong about hiring, and I am fairly experienced with guys - I really just do worry about legal issues (and, now, the possibility of blackmailing…)

It shouldn't be an issue in Montreal, especially with providers discussed favorably on this site.

[Simon Suraci]

Good, reputable providers will not play games or try blackmailing you. We have our own careers to think about. You will read stories of scams and robberies and such because those negative interactions are the most memorable and likely to be shared. Those are the exceptions, rather than the rule. Sure, you may have so-so or bad providers, but they’re not all out to get you!

The vast majority of us are hard working men doing our best to satisfy our clients and make a living for ourselves and our families. Aside: many of us are single, but some of us have families relying on us to take care of them. We’re people.

Doing anything to harm our clients is outside our own best interests, both in the short term and the long term. Pick the right guys using the advice here and you’ll be fine. Any provider with a proven track record is going to be your best bet. 

[Guest]

On 10/4/2023 at 6:21 PM, Geeky30s said:

... What are some reasonable precautions I should take? I have a good & stable career that would be in serious risk if anything like this came to light (or, really, I had any kind of encounter with law enforcement outside of a traffic stop)...

Probably covered in prior strings, but here are my suggestions:

(1) If you hire a porn star, you can be sure he's not a cop. You can also been essentially sure he's not a cop if he's had multiple reviews over more than a few months, and especially if he's been vetted here.

(2) Even if neither you nor he is a cop, texts are forever. Be careful what you text. In particular, there should be nothing hinting of performing any sexual act for money. The profiles on Rentmen state what the escort is into, so no need to bring it up again. If you must clarify, do it by phone. It's fine to text stuff such as availability, arrival times, and so on. Before texting anything, think "Might this get me into trouble if this text became public?". 

(3) Kiss the escort as soon as you're able to do so privately (for example, when he enters your hotel room). This lets both of you know neither is with law enforcement, and also lets you know this escort's not a dud. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

16 hours ago, Unicorn said:

(3) Kiss the escort as soon as you're able to do so privately (for example, when he enters your hotel room). This lets both of you know neither is with law enforcement, and also lets you know this escort's not a dud. 

That 3rd step is very useful, and I've adopted it. A cop won't tongue you.