Advice for a newbie (PLEASE)

[Tarty]

Hi, you've all heard this before ("....I've never done this ...") but in my case it's true. I have never hired someone to spend time with but thinking about it A LOT ....and have made contact with someone on RM for next week. I would genuinely appreciate any advice you can give along the lines of:

 

* any specific tips to avoid legal issues and how much should be "said" via email / text

 

* the latest review in the review tab of this site says "Verification L16" dated Dec 2016. Is this reliable and what does it actually mean? (there are several positive reviews as well and 5 or so more on RM but RM info is so brief)

 

* no photos on either site - even the unlocked ones- show face; am I allowed to ask for one with facial identity, and how do I know if it's really him?

 

* I get it that some of this has to be a leap of faith, but I'd appreciate the chance to learn from any of you that are willing to share

 

* thanks

[+ azdr0710]

if your intended for next week is well-reviewed/well-regarded here on the forum, probably not much to worry about.....

 

to answer your specific questions:

 

1. be polite and "discreet" in the first couple communications....professional and respectful....he may ask you what you're into and you may want to answer him with "I enjoy......", rather than, "Will you do....." ...don't associate money with any act.....payment is for time only......politely tell him you'll pay at the end and tell him you don't want to talk money at all during the meet.....

 

2. don't know what L16 is....and I barely rely on RM reviews at all.....

 

3. definitely can ask for a face picture and tell him you'll keep it private....request a "current face picture of yourself".....probably no way to know if it's really him, but see how it goes....may want to ask for him to hold up a paper with the current date and your email address on it or something in the picture

 

4. be honest....tell him it's your first meet.....talk slowly and smile....look him in the eye and have fun.....you may need to move things along if he's stalling.....bring some water for him....if you drink, you may want to have half a beer before the meet.....be clean and fresh.....if you need supplies, have all that ready before he knocks......

 

others will chime in here......

[Tarty]

thanks azdr0710 - this is all great advice - especially 1 & 3 are things i hadn't considered! i appreciate it.

here's what I mean re: the verification directly from DADDY'S REVIEWS (not RM) .... noted in orange directly to the right under the photo

 

https://www.daddysreviews.com/venue/usa/florida

 

tampa, eric shea

 

I can't get the direct link to paste :-(

[JayJonathan]

Hi, and welcome to the board. I hired for the first time in the last year and found the board helpful in gaining the confidence to make the first few steps. In response to the questions...

 

1. For my first hire, I relied on recommendations from the board, and messaged a few people through this website who had met with the one or two escorts I was interested in. That way, I was pretty clear on what the experience with the escort would be, and whether we would be compatible.

2. L16 is on Daddy's reviews. It means that the escort was verified by Daddy in December 2016. (A is January, B February etc.) In the US you can't see the review comments; we can see them here in Canada, but it's debatable how useful they are because it seems that some bad reviews disappear... Sometimes I have had luck messaging the reviewer and asking for more detail.

3. Again, recommendations are your friend here. I hadn't seen face photos of one of the first guys I met, but based on recommendations here, I was confident that he wasn't a scammer.

4. Someone here told me that the escorts wouldn't believe you if you said it was your first time hiring. I decided to be honest up front with the guy (it was my first time with a guy as well as being my first time hiring). We chatted for a while, the guy made me feel comfortable and then moved things along at a pace I was comfortable with. I hired for 2 hours which gave us the flexibility to take things at a more relaxed pace.

[Despardo]

If you tell the escort this is your first time hiring, he may take greater pains to make you feel relaxed. Be clear about what you expect from the session. If the guy has good reviews on both RM and Daddy, that is a plus. You can also give a shout out on the Forum to see if anyone here has hired him. You can get a general warning or recommendation on the Forum or lurid details in a private message with a member.

 

Don't overthink this. With any luck you will have a fun time. Keep in mind that the experience may not meet all of the fantasies and expectations you have built up, so a realistic perspective is generally helpful. If you and the escort don't "click" you can always hire someone else. There are no guarantees, but one has to start somewhere and it sounds as if you are doing your homework and being careful--always a good thing. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

Checked out his ad and reviews and can see no red flags. Sounds like a nice guy who knows what he is doing. Assume you are looking for a straight top. Looks hot to me.

[MikeBiDude]

thanks azdr0710 - this is all great advice - especially 1 & 3 are things i hadn't considered! i appreciate it.

here's what I mean re: the verification directly from DADDY'S REVIEWS (not RM) .... noted in orange directly to the right under the photo

 

https://www.daddysreviews.com/venue/usa/florida

 

tampa, eric shea

 

I can't get the direct link to paste :-(

Here you go:

https://www.daddysreviews.com/search/Active/Eric/eric_shea_milwaukee

[Tarty]

thank you Jay, Desperado & Mike... you truly make up a supportive community!

[Despardo]

thank you Jay, Desperado & Mike... you truly make up a supportive community!

Nah! We just have too much time on our hands.

[Tarty]

:D:p:D

[rvwnsd]

@Tarty ,

 

First of all, welcome to The Forum.

 

Hi, you've all heard this before ("....I've never done this ...") but in my case it's true. ...

We've heard it before because it is true - everyone has a first time. It says a lot about you and about us that you feel comfortable enough to acknowledge that you have never hired before. Give yourself a pat on the back.

 

 

...I have never hired someone to spend time with but thinking about it A LOT ....and have made contact with someone on RM for next week. I would genuinely appreciate any advice you can give along the lines of:

 

* any specific tips to avoid legal issues and how much should be "said" via email / text...

 

To expand on what @azdr0710 said, I usually make my first contact via email and say something like this:

 

"Hi [Escort's Name],

 

My name's [my name]. Your great ad and hot pics caught my eye, so I wanted to reach out and see if we are compatible. I love to [insert a couple of things you absolutely want to do with a guy] and also like to [insert other things you like to do].

 

What do you think - are we compatible?"

 

You will notice there's no mention of what I want to do to him or him to do to me. Also no mention of rates. Always keep that discussion separate. A lot of escorts bristle at potential clients asking about rates when they state it in their ad, so I will usually say something like "Do you mind confirming that your rate is [insert rate here]. "

...* the latest review in the review tab of this site says "Verification L16" dated Dec 2016. Is this reliable and what does it actually mean?...

As @JayJonathan stated, that's how the review site administrator indicates when an escort's contact information was last validated. In this case it was validated within the last two months, so it is very reliable. If it was validated two years ago there's a good chance the information is out of date.

...(there are several positive reviews as well and 5 or so more on RM but RM info is so brief)...

The reviews posted on the Daddy's Reviews Site (which is what I think you mean by the reviews tab) are very reliable. There have been instances of a series of suspicious reviews (mainly a string of first-time reviewers whose reviews all sound alike), but they are relatively rare. RM reviews are pretty much useless.

...* no photos on either site - even the unlocked ones- show face; am I allowed to ask for one with facial identity,...

It really isn't a question of being allowed or not being allowed to ask for a face pic. You can ask if you want one. However, there is no guarantee that you will receive one.

... and how do I know if it's really him?...

Well, you don't. However, if all of his pics show a guy with dark chest hair and the face pic is of a blonde-haired blue-eyed guy, something might be amiss.

...* I get it that some of this has to be a leap of faith, but I'd appreciate the chance to learn from any of you that are willing to share...

Accepting that some (well, a lot) of this is a leap of faith puts you far ahead of many guys who have been hiring for years. Unlike screening a loan applicant or conducting a criminal background check on someone whom you have positively identified, there is no sure-fire way to validate or verify the guy you are hiring. You can rely on pics and the advice of others, but in the end you have to rely on your gut instincts. Think of it like this: if you were going to eat a meal at a well-reviewed restaurant and you walked in and you felt as though you were going to throw up, would you eat at the restaurant despite your physical reaction?

...* thanks

You are welcome.

[rvwnsd]

Hey @Tarty. One last thing. You mentioned you didn't know how to paste the direct link to the escort's reviews. Here's how:

 

1. Display the list of reviews.
   
2. Right-click on the link to the guy's review and select "open in new tab"
   
3. Navigate to the new tab
   
4. Copy the URL displayed in the address bar
   
5. Paste as a link in your message
   

[Tarty]

rvwnsd - this is invaluable advice !!- i hope to have great news to report back a week from saturday

[+ purplekow]

A few other tips. Be a lot leery if he asks for money up front. If there is a time before he has done anything and after he has accepted the money and he wants to leave the room to get something from the car or some other excuse to leave, it is likely that you are being ripped off. That is why payment should be given afterward. One good way to let him know you have the cash but without paying him is to take out an envelop, count the money and then place it in a bed stand drawer. That way he knows that you do not intend to stiff him. Most well reviewed escorts are honest and professional that is why it is best to hire well reviewed escorts. If you seek out escorts from an independent source, like Backpage, the chances of an unpleasant encounter increase.

All that being said, all of us here have hired for the first time. It is a bit of a scary situation, Once it is clear that the escort is there for the service for which you hired him, do not be afraid to ask for what it is you want. You want to do something to him, move ahead but check in to be sure it is alright. You want something done to you, tell him, He is not going to guess that you want your ass slapped to the rhythm of Kokomo unless you tell him. Relax and breath and then just enjoy yourself. Get out of your head and into the action.

As I have said many times to many first timers on here, this is supposed to be fun. Do not over think it. If it goes great, that is terrific. If it is not perfect, you have a chance to try again, sometimes depending on how old you are and for how long you have hired him, you may get to try again almost immediately. After all, in the end, it is just sex.

[LADoug1]

If you feel comfortable let us know how it worked out. Inquiring minds will want to know!

[Tarty]

I figured I’d close out this thread I started simply by thanking all of you that provided advice. You have no idea how helpful it was!

 

The appointment occurred as scheduled. It was both intense and sweet which was a nice combination, and actually more intense than planned. It was DIFFERENT than I had imagined - not worse, not better, but different than the many scenarios I had created in my mind.

 

I will say this whole thing is more complicated than I thought. I got exactly what I thought I wanted in my head - but maybe my heart felt a little differently the next day after the euphoria had faded. Someone in St Pete FL PM’d me that it can take a while to figure out how to enjoy sessions and manage your own expectations. And to understand, honestly, what you’re looking for. That’s pretty much where I am now - trying to figure all that out.

 

Another unexpected benefit of this experience was meeting a local minneapolis guy on this forum that seems cool and who has been a needed sounding board. He recommended a good local masseur -I have an appointment on Saturday. Baby steps for me, for now.

[+ nycman]

Ahhhh...the afterglow.....and all it's inherent confusion.

 

Take a deep breath...it sounds like you had fun.

 

Theses are thing you know...but it never hurts to be reminded:

 

He is not your boyfriend...and he never will be.

 

Be thankful that you had a fun and presumably a hot connection.

 

Hiring escorts is always about your cock...and never about your heart.

 

Have fun!

[+ oldNbusted]

I will say this whole thing is more complicated than I thought. I got exactly what I thought I wanted in my head - but maybe my heart felt a little differently the next day after the euphoria had faded. Someone in St Pete FL PM’d me that it can take a while to figure out how to enjoy sessions and manage your own expectations. And to understand, honestly, what you’re looking for. That’s pretty much where I am now - trying to figure all that out.

 

This is so true, I know how you feel. I set up my first meeting as strictly a massage since I kinda wanted to check out the experience as well as the guy. He is mentioned favorably here in the forums, so it was a matter of personality compatibility. Plus I needed a real massage, I spend all my work hours staring at a computer screen.

 

I have to admit, I was surprised how strong my emotional reaction was afterwards. I figured something would happen, but it was very confusing. Anticipating that, I had told myself I would force myself to wait at least a month before another session, since that would allow time to settle down. Thankfully, that did happen and I arranged another session planning for a little more interactivity.

 

That session happened and went well, so I had reason to feel good. Fortunately, the emotional swing wasn't as severe as before, so have hope, as I do, that you can learn to navigate this and look forward to future encounters.

[Eight by Six]

Took your advice and hired Eric Shea as well. He was the best one so far for me. So far, of the probably ten or so I've hired, I like him and Tyler who is also in Tampa.

[Eight by Six]

These threads are helpful

[+ Marky7832]

a good local masseur -I have an appointment on Saturday. Baby steps for me, for now.

 

Love your posts--thanks. Willing to share the masseur recommendation in MN? Thanks!

[Tarty]

thanks. here is who i was referring to: Darren

https://www.restorationhands.com

[+ Mplsgymguy]

thanks. here is who i was referring to: Darren

https://www.restorationhands.com

I've been debating whether to contact him for a massage. Any 411 on him or the experience?