To providers: Are you the same person with your clients that you are in your personal lives?

[Rocca]

Are you the same person with your clients that you are in your personal lives?

Edited December 1, 2021 by Rocca

[Kevin Slater]

You do understand what a job is, right?

Kevin Slater

[Jamie21]

In some aspects yes, in some aspects no. For example in my personal life I tend to wear clothes more often and when I’ve finished fucking them I don’t ask how they’d like to pay 😂. 

Seriously though…we all play roles in our work. Whatever work that is. 

[arnie]

I was in health care, went to peoples home, now retired, was in some aspects more outgoing as I had to make it happen but in others more guarded.  But also when hiring, I am not myself, especially when just hooking up with a guy.  The dynamics are just different.  Money has an amazing effect on how people act toward one another no matter how it is involved.  

[maninsoma]

On 11/30/2021 at 9:34 PM, Kevin Slater said:

You do understand what a job is, right?

Kevin Slater

Reminds me of a sociology professor I had who basically said that employers pay employees to set themselves (particularly their emotional selves) aside.  His point was that workers are not just paid to accomplish a task but also to do so without letting themselves get in the way of work.  My favorite escorts have been men who are a good mix of being genuine and providing fantasy.  If someone is too detached, it's very difficult for me to have fun.  I have no delusions that these guys would have chosen to get in bed with me if they weren't working, but a good escort is someone who can create pleasure in the moment with clients and not convey, even subtly, that the only reason they are there is money. 

[italianboyph]

I am yes. I do believe that regardless that “it’s a job” you still treat people with respect like you would in the outside world. Obviously we all have different moods, and different people bring those out at times, but as a whole you treat people the same. In my personal life I still wanna make people feel good, that should be the same otherwise.

Edited December 4, 2021 by italianboyph

[Jamie21]

5 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Reminds me of a sociology professor I had who basically said that employers pay employees to set themselves (particularly their emotional selves) aside.  His point was that workers are not just paid to accomplish a task but also to do so without letting themselves get in the way of work.  My favorite escorts have been men who are a good mix of being genuine and providing fantasy.  If someone is too detached, it's very difficult for me to have fun.  I have no delusions that these guys would have chosen to get in bed with me if they weren't working, but a good escort is someone who can create pleasure in the moment with clients and not convey, even subtly, that the only reason they are there is money. 

That’s it. But money isn’t the only reason, it’s part of the story yes but there’s also the fun of meeting people and the thrill of the work. You can’t do it for long if money is the only reason. 

[HotWhiteThirties]

5 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

That’s it. But money isn’t the only reason, it’s part of the story yes but there’s also the fun of meeting people and the thrill of the work. You can’t do it for long if money is the only reason. 

This is the difference maker here. You can usually tell the pros who enjoy it and those who don't fizzle and fade.  What a gift to enjoy what you do and share with others!

[+ Tygerscent]

I am but, that’s not to say my Clients formulate a clear understanding of who I am in their mind~ When the focus is on their comfort and needs, there is less room/time/consideration to explore who I am~ So, they aren’t always looking, (or care to see), who I am despite being open about it~ Those who take the time and care to explore who I am see me differently then those who only take the time to have me provide for them~ 

 On the other hand… I have lots of long time Clients and we’ve grown together over the years, share life changes etc.~ I thrive/relish/invest myself fully in the mutual experience long term~ 
 Some people only want to know who I am when I’m with them~ They don’t want to know anything about my life escorting outside of my experience with them~ They miss a big slice of who I am as a human being~ 
 Others don’t like to be open about their experiences hiring or playing with others~ These self and mutual honesties vary even in non hire relationships~ For example: I’ve been at  social events in the past where there is a couple claiming exclusivity to each other but, in reality they have both hired me without disclosing that to each other~ Do they know each other outside of their own assumed relationship~?
 

Edited March 3, 2022 by Tygerscent

[FrancisCA]

I would like to say yes! I never really thought about if I acted different in front of providers but I do act as authentic as i can be around people no matter if they're paying or not. 

I do understand the 'its a job' aspect but its TOO much work to act like a different person haha. Also if youre acting different then you are in 'real life' then it would be incredible difficult to make a deep or personal connection with anyone UNLESS you are playing out a fantasy/scenario

[coriolis888]

On 12/3/2021 at 12:59 PM, Jamie21 said:

But money isn’t the only reason, it’s part of the story yes but there’s also the fun of meeting people and the thrill of the work. You can’t do it for long if money is the only reason. 

 

[HotWhiteThirties]

3 hours ago, Francis said:

I would like to say yes! I never really thought about if I acted different in front of providers but I do act as authentic as i can be around people no matter if they're paying or not. 

I do understand the 'its a job' aspect but its TOO much work to act like a different person haha. Also if youre acting different then you are in 'real life' then it would be incredible difficult to make a deep or personal connection with anyone UNLESS you are playing out a fantasy/scenario

Amen, amen, and thank you!!!! 

[Shawn Monroe]

Shawn folds his towels differently than matt does. Shawn spends lots of time in hotels, so he folds them the hotel way. 😉

[marylander1940]

On 11/30/2021 at 7:11 PM, Rocca said:

Are you the same person with your clients that you are in your personal lives?

I'm sure in most cases escorts are... but I do know about some escorts who misrepresent their age, place of birth, birthdate, background, education, etc. to either make themselves more appealing to clients and also to keep their private lives as private as possible. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

2 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

I'm sure in most cases escorts are... but I do know about some escorts who misrepresent their age, place of birth, birthdate, background, education, etc. to either make themselves more appealing to clients and also to keep their private lives as private as possible. 

Don't forget the sob stories.

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

Don't forget the sob stories.

Would you like to elaborate with an example? 

Again, most of them are honest when it comes to their intellect but sometimes, they have to play along about politics, role of women in society, etc. Many clients after hiring have the need to reclaim a higher moral place in society and need to put down others to achieve it. 

[coriolis888]

On 12/12/2021 at 10:39 AM, Francis said:

I would like to say yes! I never really thought about if I acted different in front of providers but I do act as authentic as i can be around people no matter if they're paying or not. 

 

Oscar Wilde > Quotes > Quotable Quote

“The first duty in life is to be as artificial as possible.  What the second duty is no one has as yet discovered.”

[+ WilliamM]

58 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Would you like to elaborate with an example? 

Again, most of them are honest when it comes to their intellect but sometimes, they have to play along about politics, role of women in society, etc. Many clients after hiring have the need to reclaim a higher moral place in society and need to put down others to achieve it. 

It depends on the person and the situation.  I would change "many clients after hiring have the need to reclaim a higher moral place in society to put down other to achieve it."

To

 

Occasionally clients after hiring have the need to reclaim a higher place in society to put down others to achieve it.

 

 

[rn901]

Depends on the client. Some allow me to be my natural authentic self more freely than others and those tend to be longer term regular clients naturally. Others want me to play a role for them and that will be fun but eventually my real self will need to let itself out every now and then. It's kind of a spectrum really and I have clients who exist all over this spectrum. There is no "typical" client and I attempt to adapt to their proclivities accordingly. You kind of need a natural talent of being able to adapt to a wide variety of personalities to be able to do this job. Of course, there are some clients who extend beyond my limits and I won't be able to adjust to. At a personal level, they are past thresholds I can't tolerate lol. However, one needs good people skills and a natural knack in getting along with a wide spectrum of different types of people to last in this business. The clientele who allow you to be your natural self and who enjoy your natural self are friendships to be treasured. 

The lines between fantasy and reality always need to be remembered by the provider for them to adjust back to their daily personal selves. The work requires a certain type of mental strength. I can see one losing themselves in a sort of chaos with this work. Changing from character to character to suite specific clients, they lose track to who they really are. Kurt Vonnegut's novel Mother Night kind of reminds me of this struggle. It is the story of a spy in World War II who loses themselves in the ulterior personalities they've created, one as a Nazi propagandist. The novel poses questions about how much responsibility does one bear of their actions if they are simply "playing a role". Where are the lines of reality and fantasy drawn exactly? After an extended amount of time performing, who am I exactly? The work touches upon all kinds of questions of ethics, what it means to be human and knowing your self. All such questions are relevant to any provider who has done this long enough, even more so if such work has involved a certain level of kink and sexual fantasy. One must stay grounded in who they really are. Their sense of self needs to remain in tact. Obviously the challenge is even greater for those struggling with various mental health issues. The job isn't for the weak. One's versatility and adaptability will be stretched to new limits, and staying true to your self in the long term is an obstacle that requires a certain mental strength few possess. 

Edited December 30, 2021 by rn901

[Jamie21]

6 hours ago, rn901 said:

The job isn't for the weak. One's versatility and adaptability will be stretched to new limits, and staying true to your self in the long term is an obstacle that requires a certain mental strength few possess. 

I think that’s very true. I’m aware of other providers who have struggled with this. It does take a lot of mental strength to do the work. I think the social stigma that’s unfortunately still associated with the work doesn’t help. It means you can’t openly discuss the work with others. 

[PetetKsfo]

Though I love and agree with Kevin's reply, I would say that in many ways I am the same person.   I love what I do and that is part of my personality.    Of course though it includes a great degree of showmanship,.     In the case of an appointment that involves accompanying a client to dinner or a show, I think there is more of an opportunity to see a provider's more authentic self.