Escort “pestering”

[xyz48B]

I’ve often said that I sometimes find it difficult to communicate with escorts because they for whatever reason decide to be poor communicators. We have heard on here ad nauseam about clients wasting a provider’s time. And desperate clients who hound the hell out of providers. 

Well, enter this new wrinkle. 

A provider I was talking to some months ago who had all sorts of red flags…He stops communicating after a while. Suffice it to say that was fine with me. But now in the past two weeks, I’ve gotten several messages from him asking me what happened to me, if I’m okay, etc. He’s called twice as well. Of course, I haven’t answered. I don’t block him because I’m amused by it. I had an escort do a similar thing a few years ago, and I would take his calls. He somehow disappeared at some point, but it was very much him taking advantage of my time.

Isn’t it amazing how guys, in this case providers, will be much more communicative when they need something?

[robberbaron4u]

The last day of the month is "coming up" and the rent is due on the first day of November. As by an old AT&T "plug", "Reach out and touch someone you love". . .

[xyz48B]

1 hour ago, robberbaron4u said:

The last day of the month is "coming up" and the rent is due on the first day of November. As by an old AT&T "plug", "Reach out and touch someone you love". . .

Ain’t it the truth. Just went back to look at the time and date stamps on the messages from the guy in question. Last time he reached out to me was October 13 – not too far from the middle of the month! 

[jeezifonly]

Is he still someone you WOULD HIRE now?

Go for it.

[rn901]

Escorts who are bad communicators won't last long in the business. Clients who are bad communicators though will remain indefinitely.  

[blackriver]

I had one provider, whom I have communicated with in the past but our schedules never worked out, reach out to me saying he was in DC. I texted back saying I'm free and would like to finally book. I get nothing back after two texts, so to the discard pile he goes.

I do not mind when providers reach out saying they are in town asking to get together, but at least respond back if we say yes!

[xyz48B]

14 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

Is he still someone you WOULD HIRE now?

Go for it.

Nope. That’s what I’m saying. Perhaps I didn’t communicate clearly above. 🤷🏼‍♂️ 

[xyz48B]

@blackriver– Two very different things. I’d have no problem (would welcome it, in fact) if a provider contacted me when in town. It is a red flag if the guy keeps trying to contact me after I don’t respond, complete with phone call attempts…plural.

[Kippy]

Time to negotiate price.  50% off for an old friend sounds nice!  He may stop calling...

[MDinNY]

My buddy does this when he’s contacted and he’s up for more play - 

 

“Great to hear from you. Been meaning to contact you. Finances tight but hopefully I can book in the next couple of months...”

 

“…are you sure it’s ok if I only pay $**?”

 

 

”See you tonight”.

[+ keroscenefire]

I definitely have gotten some guys that I've met with once and then try to get them to meet me over and over again. This happens a lot with traveling escorts. I meet the once when the visit Denver and they think they can meet with me every other time they visit. Unfortunately I don't always have budge and time and try to communicate that but some are pretty persistent. 

[Antonio1981]

I have a provider that is borderline stalking me and it’s getting a bit uncomfortable.  I get a text once/twice a week, consistently for the past 2 years ask if I’m coming over on Sunday. Without fail. He has asked many times if I can commit to a weekly meeting. Even though I have said NO and have met him once a month or so, he has not let up. When I do see him, I get the guilt trip. Then he will ask questions that makes me think he’s googling my name and looking up any info on me.  Asked if my dads name was Alan. Asked if I lived on Alfred St, etc.  I don’t know how to break free without this turning into blackmail or drama. 

[+ FrankR]

6 hours ago, Antonio1981 said:

I have a provider that is borderline stalking me and it’s getting a bit uncomfortable.  I get a text once/twice a week, consistently for the past 2 years ask if I’m coming over on Sunday. Without fail. He has asked many times if I can commit to a weekly meeting. Even though I have said NO and have met him once a month or so, he has not let up. When I do see him, I get the guilt trip. Then he will ask questions that makes me think he’s googling my name and looking up any info on me.  Asked if my dads name was Alan. Asked if I lived on Alfred St, etc.  I don’t know how to break free without this turning into blackmail or drama. 

At this point you should be honest with him and yourself. His behavior is making you uncomfortable.  
 

He needs to know that you spend time with him to relax and get away from the daily grind - the personal questions and relentless texts ruin the experience as it pulls you back into the grind. If he cannot comprehend that, it may be time to break contact and find a better match.  Block his number and make a clean break. No need for any further explanation or drama. 

[The Dude]

6 hours ago, Antonio1981 said:

I have a provider that is borderline stalking me and it’s getting a bit uncomfortable.  I get a text once/twice a week, consistently for the past 2 years ask if I’m coming over on Sunday. Without fail. He has asked many times if I can commit to a weekly meeting. Even though I have said NO and have met him once a month or so, he has not let up. When I do see him, I get the guilt trip. Then he will ask questions that makes me think he’s googling my name and looking up any info on me.  Asked if my dads name was Alan. Asked if I lived on Alfred St, etc.  I don’t know how to break free without this turning into blackmail or drama. 

This is why I never give my real name and use a burner phone.

[xyz48B]

@Kippy– I bet that will go over like a lead balloon! 😂 

[xyz48B]

I’ve been pretty clear with my regulars that I’d love to meet more, but sometimes finances just don’t allow me to see them every time they’re in the area. Would I like to? Absolutely. But I simply can’t. I like multiple day visits, so it ends up costing. And I’ve started thinking it’s better to take escorts on vacation, which ends up eating into the budget even more, so there’s less money for just domestic visits. Which I’m with, just have to aware as making plans. All that said, my regulars have been great about that all. It’s good to find decent guys…

[+ Keith30309]

Perhaps a slightly different perspective:  I don’t think anyone decides to be a poor communicator; it’s simply a skill some lack and, with it, a lack of perspective of how this is seen by others.  
I will struggle along with someone if I think they have good intentions because poor comms can be worked thru and doesn’t mean we won’t have a great time.  

On the other hand an attitude of anger, disregard, lack of mutual respect, etc., is a hard stop for me.  I’ve made this mistake with a few guys and sat in a room and it’s awkward at best, usually becoming mechanical and impersonal.   You can’t fix attitude.

I have had guys begin to badger me a handful of times - mainly SA guys - and never string them along for sport or hopes they will change. No good will come of that and I go radio silent but never block.  (To keep an eye out for any escalation that becomes concerning.) 

[Rod Hagen]

36 minutes ago, Keith30309 said:

I have had guys begin to badger me a handful of times - mainly SA guys - and never string them along for sport or hopes they will change. No good will come of that and I go radio silent but never block.  (To keep an eye out for any escalation that becomes concerning.) 

Friends tell me that their SA providers reach out to them, frequently, both in a friend way and also in a "I need a laptop/iphone PLEASE" way.

Yes, of course, you have to protect yourself.  ADDITIONALLY, simply keep in mind that someone can be your friend and also rely on you financially.  The two aren't exclusive.  Just as you can be someone's friend and rely on them for affection.

Edited October 27, 2021 by Rod Hagen

[xyz48B]

My experience has been that escorts seem to be much less emotionally invested than clients. They either have a personality disposed to that or are better at compartmentalizing. I don’t think any of my regulars consider me a “friend,” although they’re friendly. 

[+ Keith30309]

1 hour ago, Rod Hagen said:

Friends tell me that their SA providers reach out to them, frequently, both in a friend way and also in a "I need a laptop/iphone PLEASE" way.

Yes, of course, you have to protect yourself.  ADDITIONALLY, simply keep in mind that someone can be your friend and also rely on you financially.  The two aren't exclusive.  Just as you can be someone's friend and rely on them for affection.

Ideally they reach out as a friend; that is awesome and the best possible outcome. Those were the guys with whom I traveled and shared unexpected gifts.  And occasionally they had unexpected expenses arise and I’d help when I could beyond whatever our routine arrangement included.  I viewed it as simply something one friend would do for another. 
The guys who “pestered” were really never friends - just someone looking for an easy buck and often with unrealistic expectations (“Fly me in for lunch so we can meet for the first time”).

To the OP’s point, as soon as an escort’s attitude takes on a negative or aggressive tone then I thank then, decline to meet and vanish. 
 

[xyz48B]

31 minutes ago, Keith30309 said:

To the OP’s point, as soon as an escort’s attitude takes on a negative or aggressive tone then I thank then, decline to meet and vanish. 

Not so much that it was negative or aggressive, so much as it was simply persistent. Despite no response from me. Imagine if a client did that.

Edited October 27, 2021 by xyz48B

[+ KensingtonHomo]

6 hours ago, Keith30309 said:

Perhaps a slightly different perspective:  I don’t think anyone decides to be a poor communicator; it’s simply a skill some lack and, with it, a lack of perspective of how this is seen by others.  
I will struggle along with someone if I think they have good intentions because poor comms can be worked thru and doesn’t mean we won’t have a great time.  

On the other hand an attitude of anger, disregard, lack of mutual respect, etc., is a hard stop for me.  I’ve made this mistake with a few guys and sat in a room and it’s awkward at best, usually becoming mechanical and impersonal.   You can’t fix attitude.

I have had guys begin to badger me a handful of times - mainly SA guys - and never string them along for sport or hopes they will change. No good will come of that and I go radio silent but never block.  (To keep an eye out for any escalation that becomes concerning.) 

What's an SA provider? You can private message me if it's "no go" word. 

[MikeBiDude]

9 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

What's an SA provider? You can private message me if it's "no go" word. 

Seeking Arrangements a “sugar” daddy/baby matchmaking app. Many, many pages of pros and cons here:

 

[sjmuktop]

On 10/24/2021 at 1:36 AM, xyz48B said:

Isn’t it amazing how guys, in this case providers, will be much more communicative when they need something?

Yes. There is an escort I've met once, who gave me a really great session and who I enjoyed immensely, but who began pestering me afterwards, expecting instant replies even though he was VERY tardy with his own replies to me most of the time. He was constantly messaging asking when i would be free to meet next, and would I please book more hours for a longer session? He said he will do me a really good price and proceeded to offer me a 3 hour session for £500. I said I don't want 3 hours, and he said okay he can do 2 hours for £350 ...I asked him "why are you proposing a 2 hour session for 350 quid when your Sleepyboy profile says you do 2 hours for 300 quid ??" He then started getting really aggressive towards me sending angry texts. He later apologised and said he was high lol.

This was at the start of last month, and is the first time I have ever encountered this kind of behaviour from an escort. He also asked me if I would marry him so that he could "stay in England forever" (he is from Brazil). I told him no because that would be illegal and if I was found out to have married him for immigration purposes he would be deported and I would end up being prosecuted and facing prison. He then got angry about that.

I blocked him and then for some reason I just decided to unblock him a couple of days or so later, and he sent me a message saying "why you being so mean to me? I'm a nice person." We both ended up apologising to each other and making amends - then I said something, I cannot remember what it was; I think something with regards to booking another session and the rate he was charging and he took offence and said "I'm done with you" and blocked me. Honestly, this drama was so childish and was the first time ever I've encountered this from an escort. He's got Gold membership on RentMen and is on Sleepyboy as well. I gave him two 5 star reviews (one on each of his escort profiles, RentMen and Sleepyboy) after our first and only session and this was the thanks I get. 

 

Edited October 27, 2021 by sjmuktop

[xyz48B]

On 10/27/2021 at 5:59 PM, sjmuktop said:

He's got Gold membership on RentMen

I’ve left negative reviews on RM that have disappeared. I don’t trust them.

It’s crazy to me how some escorts will behave. As if we owe them because they look good and are willing to fuck us—for a price. There was talk of entitlement here on the part of clients; there’s a lot of that among providers too. I feel bad for the good providers who get strung along by shitty potential clients but also by shitty providers who make it hard for them by making would-be good clients hesitant. If we all were a bit more reasonable and adult, things would be infinitely easier for everyone!