Will you pay a deposit to a stranger?

[coriolis888]

6 hours ago, ffdave said:

No deposits for me.  I've been ripped off before, have seen friends ripped off before, and read it on these forums too many times before.  Too easy to "take the money and run".  I even had one guy I bought and paid a round-trip airline ticket for from the East Coast.  Once I bought the ticket, he asked for a deposit.  I told him the plane ticket I just bought for him WAS the deposit.  He insisted still on the deposit, so I canceled the plane ticket within the 24-hour window.

Good for you!

[The Dude]

Heck. No.

[lonely_john]

15 hours ago, Mo Mason said:

the deposit shows that I'm serious about meeting, and it usually kicks off a very rewarding flow of communication.  From my experience, once deposits are paid providers make you feel special by texting frequently and asking questions... things that are less likely without the deposit.

Out of curiosity, how much do you deposit in advance? Full amount, 50%, another value? TIA.

[Wanderoz]

No.

[maninsoma]

As a client, I've never no-showed for an appointment.  I have shown up and walked away when the person answering the door wasn't the same person shown in the ad.  I have had multiple experiences with providers who failed to show up at my place or weren't reachable when I arrived at their hotels.  I'm not losing money when this occurs, but it's still a waste of my time, a waste of preparation as a bottom, and a disappointment since most guys aren't just sitting by the phone available at the drop of a hat if someone else flakes out. 

I don't expect a provider who is new to me to do anything for me to prove he's reliable and I don't think I need to pay a deposit to prove I'm legitimate, either.  As far as I am concerned, the trust needs to be a two-way street.  But, again, a provider can obviously choose to run his business any way he sees fit and I, as a customer, can choose to hire him or not. 

 

[Mo Mason]

5 hours ago, lonely_john said:

Out of curiosity, how much do you deposit in advance? Full amount, 50%, another value? TIA.

The deposit's only been 10% of the total session fee each time I've paid it.  

[dbar123]

Every time I've agreed to pay a deposit, I've regretted it. There is no upside for the client. Even if they tell you that you are reserving a specific time for you, there is no assurance that they will honor that. It's now my policy to never agree to pay upfront.

I've never stood up an escort appointment but I have been stood up by escorts many times for a whole host of reasons.

Those requesting deposits are very much in the minority. Despite the strong economy, there are plenty of others out there who still don't require it.

[coriolis888]

On 6/23/2021 at 10:49 AM, Mo Mason said:

The deposit's only been 10% of the total session fee each time I've paid it.  

How do you maintain your privacy when you send money in advance to an escort you do not already know and who knows nothing about you?

Money orders, Western Union et cetera all require you to relinquish personal information about yourself when you send money.

Cash?  Gift card?  

I know the subject has been discussed several times in other threads but I never felt there was a concrete answer that gave comfort to those who prefer to be anonymous. 

One curious mind would like to know.

[josh282282]

I'm a physician.  I have no-shows all the time on my appointment books. EVERY physician does. Any physician who says he doesn't is lying.

But do I DEMAND a deposit from a new patient (or follow up patient) to make an appointment with ME? Nope. I gotta take the good with the bad just like everyone else, escorts included.  

So, to all the escorts reading this (and I know there are many providers who never sign up to this forum but use it for information & learning, so yah, I know you are reading this): HELL NO, you do NOT deserve a deposit.  In the same way, I dont either.   

Dont like no-shows? Work on strategies to diminish them. 

To all my client friends here: the latest deposit-scam I've come across is the escort asking (insisting) for an Uber to bring them to me. Um, yah, no.  Their "Outcall" fee needs to have incorporated all of their transportation costs.  I've politely declined these Uber requests and GUESS WHAT, they all have eventually capitulated.  Dont (ever) be rude, demanding, or inappropriate but stay professional, and decline this not-so-subtle strategy of getting an Uber (a deposit) and you will prevail.  Or just walk away. Why contribute to the downfall of this hobby? 

Love to all

Josh

Edited June 29, 2021 by josh282282

[mike carey]

@josh282282would it be too cynical of me to suggest that some  doctors know that the time each appointment takes is unpredictable and liable to last longer than the blocked time, so they not too concerned about missed appointments because they help get them back on schedule? (I'm not disagreeing with your objection to escort deposits, or anything else you said, to be clear.)

[Bargara Leatherboy]

7 hours ago, josh282282 said:

I'm a physician.  I have no-shows all the time on my appointment books. EVERY physician does. Any physician who says he doesn't is lying.

But do I DEMAND a deposit from a new patient (or follow up patient) to make an appointment with ME? Nope. I gotta take the good with the bad just like everyone else, escorts included.  

So, to all the escorts reading this (and I know there are many providers who never sign up to this forum but use it for information & learning, so yah, I know you are reading this): HELL NO, you do NOT deserve a deposit.  In the same way, I dont either.   

Dont like no-shows? Work on strategies to diminish them. 

To all my client friends here: the latest deposit-scam I've come across is the escort asking (insisting) for an Uber to bring them to me. Um, yah, no.  Their "Outcall" fee needs to have incorporated all of their transportation costs.  I've politely declined these Uber requests and GUESS WHAT, they all have eventually capitulated.  Dont (ever) be rude, demanding, or inappropriate but stay professional, and decline this not-so-subtle strategy of getting an Uber (a deposit) and you will prevail.  Or just walk away. Why contribute to the downfall of this hobby? 

Love to all

Josh

I have been going to the same Eastern Suburbs of Sydney Hairdresser for about 12 years now.

When I first made an appointment, i signed up to a first appointment deal on their website, a style consultation, a hair cut and colour, and some product.   

As part of the process, I met with his PA filled out a questionaire, left some personal contact details including my credit card details, (which would be charged if I cancelled an appointment with less than 24 hours, or was a no show.

 

Every professional cannot afford to have no shows, I know that the credit card I used 12 years ago is different to the one I use today, but after 12 years of appointments at 5 weekly intervals there is no need for a no show penalty.  Loyalty works both ways 

[josh282282]

On 6/29/2021 at 3:17 AM, mike carey said:

would it be too cynical of me to suggest that some  doctors know that the time each appointment takes is unpredictable and liable to last longer than the blocked time, so they not too concerned about missed appointments because they help get them back on schedule?

Depends.

If the doctor has a salary schedule where s/he is paid per patient,  then yes, too cynical. The physician wants to see the patient. Every patient on the list. Who wants to see money walk away? 

If the doctor is paid a set salary with no specific productivity expectations embedded into the salary,  then ...maybe. 

But overall, no.  We really want to see all our patients on the schedule.  I know I do. I mean, we do try to help folk.

  

Edited July 2, 2021 by josh282282
Typo

[HoleTrainer]

There’s a major difference between escorts and physicians.  Their work isn’t criminalized. Ours is.  Physicians have recourse to report unpaid fees to credit collection agencies.  We do not.  Comparing apples and oranges here.

Business is supply and demand.  If you don’t want to pay a deposit or Uber fare, then don’t.  Plenty of other clients will.  Most of whom are not reading this board because they’re too busy making money and spending it to care what other men think about how they choose to do so.

[Danny-Darko]

Never! And experience has taught me to not even pay a deposit to a non-stranger. Any honest and reliable business person knows payment is due upon services rendered. 

[coriolis888]

1 hour ago, Danny-Darko said:

Never! And experience has taught me to not even pay a deposit to a non-stranger. Any honest and reliable business person knows payment is due upon services rendered. 

I agree with you about not giving an advance deposit to an unknown provider.  

However, when you say "Any honest and reliable business person knows payment is due upon services rendered." let me remind you of your last airplane trip.  Did you pay AFTER the flight service was rendered?

Each situation is different.  It all depends on facts and circumstances.  

Too many providers are flakey and cannot be trusted with an advance payment.  Not all, but most.   

[big-n-tall]

In general, I won't pay a deposit. Unless you count my paying for the escort's plane ticket as a sort of deposit. I don't recall hiring anyone who required a deposit right off the bat.

However, I've hired a few who initially didn't ask for a deposit and then required one after we discussed logistics. I felt like it was a bait switch attempt. Most I refused to bend and one guy in particular I acquiesced but didn't pay the full deposit the guy requested. Some of those I refused to accept the deposit request after the fact, I met with and some I didn't. The one guy I acquiesced for is a well known porn actor.

Every single one of those experiences were just ok or not good at all. So to me, paying a deposit to some unknown, with the possibility of a bad experience, means I definitely won't be paying a deposit any time soon.

I will say I have paid an escort's fee in advance, but it was for providers I've known for years and trust on some level. It was also my choice to pay in advance for extended meet ups.

[+ RJD]

5 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

I agree with you about not giving an advance deposit to an unknown provider.  

However, when you say "Any honest and reliable business person knows payment is due upon services rendered." let me remind you of your last airplane trip.  Did you pay AFTER the flight service was rendered?

Each situation is different.  It all depends on facts and circumstances.  

Too many providers are flakey and cannot be trusted with an advance payment.  Not all, but most.   

When I fork over payment for an airline ticket, I have a tangible item and a confirmation number.  The airline can’t “fly off” without honoring it.  Even if my flight is cancelled, I have a credit with the airline.  

[Guest leftbench23]

I know providers ask for deposits for confirmation of appointments, but what recourse do clients have when providers are no-shows for confirmed appointments? This happened to me on Monday!

[+ Pensant]

Although it rarely happens to me when considering a new provider, yesterday a prospect asked if I could send a “little” advance”. I politely declined, stating that I’d never do that with someone. He politely replied and said that he understood. I’ll be meeting with him very soon.

[HoleTrainer]

5 hours ago, big-n-tall said:

Most I refused to bend and one guy in particular I acquiesced but didn't pay the full deposit the guy requested.

[...]

Every single one of those experiences were just ok or not good at all.

So you refused to show these guys the respect of complying with their requested deposit policy because you assumed before you even met them that they were trying to scam you and then you’re surprised that you didn’t have a good experience with them??  Gee, I wonder why... talk about starting things off on a sour note!  They went thru with the appointments with you because they NEEDED the money badly enough to see someone who refused to honor their booking policy.  There is absolutely no way anyone is walking into that situation giving their best performance.  If you want an escort’s best performance, you need to comply with their booking policies and show respect during 100% of the appointment booking proceeds.  Assuming that a professional is trying to scam you is disrespectful as hell.  You may get away with it but obviously you’re not going to get the best experience out of it.

Edited June 30, 2021 by HoleTrainer

[coriolis888]

2 hours ago, HoleTrainer said:

So you refused to show these guys the respect of complying with their requested deposit policy because you assumed before you even met them that they were trying to scam you and then you’re surprised that you didn’t have a good experience with them??  Gee, I wonder why... talk about starting things off on a sour note!  They went thru with the appointments with you because they NEEDED the money badly enough to see someone who refused to honor their booking policy.  There is absolutely no way anyone is walking into that situation giving their best performance.  If you want an escort’s best performance, you need to comply with their booking policies and show respect during 100% of the appointment booking proceeds.  Assuming that a professional is trying to scam you is disrespectful as hell.  You may get away with it but obviously you’re not going to get the best experience out of it.

With any due respect, this post shows an incredible amount of undue entitlement.  

"So you refused to show these guys the respect of complying with their requested deposit"

This forum contains numerous threads and posts that confirm countless incidents of clients being scammed by not previously known providers when a deposit is involved. 

In your opinion, clients who either have been scammed already or have read of others being scammed should ignore prior history and "show these guys the respect - - - -"  and pay a deposit!

Clients learn a lot from this forum.  One thing learned is to not make advance deposits to not previously known providers. 

 

 

Edited June 30, 2021 by coriolis888
Spelling

[maninsoma]

1 hour ago, coriolis888 said:

With any due respect, this post shows an incredibly amount of undue entitlement.  

"So you refused to show these guys the respect of complying with their requested deposit"

This forum contains numerous threads and posts that confirm countless incidents of clients being scammed by not previously known providers when a deposit is involved. 

In your opinion, clients who either have been scammed already or have read of others being scammed should ignore prior history and "show these guys the respect - - - -"  and pay a deposit!

Clients learn a lot from this forum.  One thing learned is to not make advance deposits to not previously known providers. 

 

 

Not only undue entitlement, but bad business sense.

2 hours ago, HoleTrainer said:

So you refused to show these guys the respect of complying with their requested deposit policy because you assumed before you even met them that they were trying to scam you and then you’re surprised that you didn’t have a good experience with them??  Gee, I wonder why... talk about starting things off on a sour note!  They went thru with the appointments with you because they NEEDED the money badly enough to see someone who refused to honor their booking policy.  There is absolutely no way anyone is walking into that situation giving their best performance.  If you want an escort’s best performance, you need to comply with their booking policies and show respect during 100% of the appointment booking proceeds.  Assuming that a professional is trying to scam you is disrespectful as hell.  You may get away with it but obviously you’re not going to get the best experience out of it.

Wouldn't it make more sense for the provider to decline the booking, then, rather than show up and not give his best because he's resentful that the client wouldn't pay an advance deposit?  Talk about starting out on the wrong foot -- first the client has a bad impression that the provider wants money before they have even met, and then when the provider agrees to meet with the deposit he has a negative view of the client and therefore provides a substandard experience?  I think a reasonable provider could set aside his negativity once he and the client were together and it was clear he wasn't being scammed; otherwise he's just compounding the ways in which he can establish a negative reputation.

[HoleTrainer]

If a client has had a bad experience with getting scammed out of a deposit in the past, he should have the maturity to understand that he did not do his research on that particular service provider well enough.  Deciding to never pay a deposit to any sex worker ever again because you got scammed by someone you did not research properly IS inherently disrespectful to me.  End of story.

Edited June 30, 2021 by HoleTrainer

[HoleTrainer]

16 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

Not only undue entitlement, but bad business sense.

Wouldn't it make more sense for the provider to decline the booking, then, rather than show up and not give his best because he's resentful that the client wouldn't pay an advance deposit?  Talk about starting out on the wrong foot -- first the client has a bad impression that the provider wants money before they have even met, and then when the provider agrees to meet with the deposit he has a negative view of the client and therefore provides a substandard experience?  I think a reasonable provider could set aside his negativity once he and the client were together and it was clear he wasn't being scammed; otherwise he's just compounding the ways in which he can establish a negative reputation.

When an escort establishes a booking requirement, and a client refuses to comply, typically an escort will accept the booking anyway due to immediate financial need.  Otherwise, an escort often WILL decline the booking for the reasons you mentioned.  That’s exactly the point I was making above.  If someone is only accepting your booking under circumstances that they are not comfortable with (no deposit), it is likely due to immediate financial need, and they are simply pushing thru their own discomfort to do what they need to do to make it work, so you shouldn’t be surprised if you do not have the best experience with them.  That’s not a good feeling going into intimate work.

[+ RJD]

2 hours ago, HoleTrainer said:

So you refused to show these guys the respect of complying with their requested deposit policy because you assumed before you even met them that they were trying to scam you and then you’re surprised that you didn’t have a good experience with them??  Gee, I wonder why... talk about starting things off on a sour note!  They went thru with the appointments with you because they NEEDED the money badly enough to see someone who refused to honor their booking policy.  There is absolutely no way anyone is walking into that situation giving their best performance.  If you want an escort’s best performance, you need to comply with their booking policies and show respect during 100% of the appointment booking proceeds.  Assuming that a professional is trying to scam you is disrespectful as hell.  You may get away with it but obviously you’re not going to get the best experience out of it.

Respect is a two-way street.  By demanding a deposit you’re assuming the client is going to scam you.  That’s equally disrespectful.  You’re right.  Talk about starting off on a sour note.  
 

@big-n-tallshowed up and paid the agreed amount.  Any uncertainty the provider had should have been allayed the moment he arrived and not reflected in the effort during his time.  That’s unprofessional.  
 

You have every right to demand a deposit.  It’s your business.  I have every right to decline and move on to another provider who doesn’t assume I’m going to scam him nor be told I’m disrespectful for not agreeing to an arbitrary booking policy.  It’s not disrespect. It’s being smart. 
 

@coriolis888is correct.  Your comment reeks of entitlement.  There are numerous posts on this forum of clients who’ve been scammed for deposits.  We’d be foolish not to learn from their experiences.