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Being Ghosted By An Escort

nefarious

By nefarious
in Questions About Hiring

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nefarious Rookie

nefarious

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I've seen an escort off and on for the past few years and he's suddenly started ignoring me. I was considering sending flowers/gift with a note apologising for whatever I may have done. Is that too intrusive and I should just take the hint and leave him be or is it okay to try and find out what the problem is?

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José Soplanucas Grand Master

+ José Soplanucas

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31 minutes ago, nefarious said:

I've seen an escort off and on for the past few years and he's suddenly started ignoring me. I was considering sending flowers/gift with a note apologising for whatever I may have done. Is that too intrusive and I should just take the hint and leave him be or is it okay to try and find out what the problem is?

We are crawling out of a pandemic. Are you sure he is ok?

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1 hour ago, nefarious said:

I was considering sending flowers/gift with a note apologising for whatever I may have done. 

Well, did you do something?

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MysticMenace Grand Master

+ MysticMenace

Posted
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3 hours ago, nefarious said:

I was considering sending flowers/gift with a note apologising for whatever I may have done. Is that too intrusive and I should just take the hint and leave him be or is it okay to try and find out what the problem is?

what @Benjamin_Nicholas said. if u did nothing wrong, there's nothing to apologize for. if u had developed a relationship / friendship then, certain friendships tend to wane and dissipate as well, so if he keeps ignoring you, id just move on.

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, nefarious said:

I've seen an escort off and on for the past few years and he's suddenly started ignoring me. I was considering sending flowers/gift with a note apologising for whatever I may have done. Is that too intrusive and I should just take the hint and leave him be or is it okay to try and find out what the problem is?

 

Maybe he wants to quit? Does he still advertise? Maybe he got a sugar daddy or a regular job. 

I would let it go, plenty of guys willing to get your money.

Edited by marylander1940
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down_to_business Mentor

down_to_business

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While I wouldn't personally go the apologizing route (I just don't see a positive outcome there at all) and I would just move on, I think you should do whatever you will find easiest to live with.  If you are going to drive yourself nuts over the wondering and won't be able to just let it go, then by all means spend a little more effort pursuing the answer you need.

Whatever you choose to do, do not under any circumstances cross the line to stalkerville and definitely prepare yourself for the real possibility that you may never get the answers you seek.  If closure is something that you absolutely can't live without and you aren't able to get a response... may I suggest you write a letter to the escort... putting everything you emotionally need to in that letter, seal it, and then burn that letter and move on.

Edited by down_to_business
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nefarious Rookie

nefarious

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I don't know what I did, other than possibly being a bit keen?

He still advertises, so it seems to be specifically something about me. I just think it's a pity he wasn't direct about what the problem was.

I think a present with a note isn't a dreadful idea? Regardless of anything else, I really did appreciate our time together, he was always excellent.

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CalTec Collaborator

CalTec

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53 minutes ago, dbar123 said:

Don’t do anything...let it go. People have all kinds of things going on in their lives and it’s not an issue that you need to fix. He will contact you when he is ready to engage and if he doesn’t, then find someone better.

This! 

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sam.fitzpatrick Grand Master

+ sam.fitzpatrick

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14 hours ago, nefarious said:

I don't know what I did, other than possibly being a bit keen?

He still advertises, so it seems to be specifically something about me. I just think it's a pity he wasn't direct about what the problem was.

I think a present with a note isn't a dreadful idea? Regardless of anything else, I really did appreciate our time together, he was always excellent.

If the escort isn't responding to your contacts, he may perceive receiving a gift from you as the act of a stalker.  It doesn't sound like that would be how you want this guy to think of you.

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jtwalker Mentor

jtwalker

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15 hours ago, nefarious said:

I don't know what I did, other than possibly being a bit keen?

He still advertises, so it seems to be specifically something about me. I just think it's a pity he wasn't direct about what the problem was.

I think a present with a note isn't a dreadful idea? Regardless of anything else, I really did appreciate our time together, he was always excellent.

I found myself getting too close to a provider once, so I cut him off.  It's best to keep your head straight about these relationships.  Based on what you are saying, I think you are in too deep and would be better off moving on.

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Jarrod_Uncut Grand Master

Jarrod_Uncut

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 5/30/2021 at 4:58 PM, nefarious said:

I don't know what I did, other than possibly being a bit keen?

He still advertises, so it seems to be specifically something about me. I just think it's a pity he wasn't direct about what the problem was.

I think a present with a note isn't a dreadful idea? Regardless of anything else, I really did appreciate our time together, he was always excellent.

I’m not a client, but I’ve been quasi-ghosted by other escorts. I’ve even written about this on the board:

I don’t know the specifics of your particular provider, but other escorts have chimed in regarding this. Most escort guys can be flaky. I mean, just on the message forum alone, we’ve seen guys come and go. It’s not an insult or obligation that they must stick around... but it’s how it is. My feeling is: 1. many escort guys don’t like confrontation in relational situations, and #2: I feel many escorts once they “get” what they want, they are liable to ghost at any moment.

Then again: some of this is also just gay culture lifestyle. But when you add escort to the mix; more sex, more options, more unfamiliar personalities: the level of “answering to” anyone is far from expected. It’s for that reason that I’ve moved away from cultivating friends/fuck buddies with other escorts. I prefer now to mainly deal with clients and guys who aren’t in the industry. At the same time... my preference would be to make some good close friends and a partner who I don’t have to directly compete with, in the business. 

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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