Masseur is making booty-calls to me

[RickD1980]

@Wolfer After reading the OP my initial thought was not to comment because it sounded like you have the situation properly analyzed. You just don't want to pull the trigger and make the decision to change (or cancel) the arrangement for fear of losing something. Others in this thread have responded with the "if it ain't broke" reply, but it really doesn't sound like you are comfortable with the situation to continue as is, whereas others might. For what it's worth, I'm not willing to say the masseur is using you, but you certainly present as the perfect client, i.e. someone he's attracted to and with whom he gets to have fun and get paid.

 

What made me want to respond though was the above quoted comment. I don't know if flattered is a word I would use in this situation because it makes it sound like the masseur is doing you some courtesy by seeking out your business and you should be grateful for it. That kind of thinking is partly why you seem upset about the situation.

 

A while ago I had a somewhat similar situation. I had a regular masseur and after our first couple of sessions we had full on sex. From that point on we had sex every time we met. He was very nice and complimented me and I knew he enjoyed himself. I even saw him out socially once and we hung out a bit. We would email and share funny memes, etc. He never reached out to me about setting up a time, but in my mind I always approached a session with him as a paying client. We weren't FWB. However, there were a couple of times when he was particularly horny that he pretty much skipped the massage and went to town on me immediately. (And yes, the sex was good! haha) When that happened, he would leave without asking for payment. In those instances it was about him getting pleasure (and also pleasuring me) and not him providing a service. If your guy is not willing to do that, then you have your answer. You either need to cut him or decide if you can continue with things as they are, putting aside any feelings of being afraid he might say no at some point.

 

This the most thorough and thoughtful response on this thread, IMHO. Okashii isn't telling you what to do based on their own feelings but, rather, using their experience to hold up a mirror to your situation. Ultimately, it's for you to decide whether you're getting enough bang for your buck (pun intended.)

 

While I might be flattered that a hot masseur wants to F, I would assess whether I was feeling fulfilled by the situation OR if I were being taken advantage of.

[marylander1940]

 

 

I'm not looking to date him. I'm just bothered by the fact that he is scheduling me for something he wants instead of the other way round.

 

Exactly, thank you for expressing it like that. He did change the dynamic and now I'm not sure how I feel about it.

 

you're getting a discount, most guy go for a massage thinking of the HE. Enjoy while it lasts!

 

I told one guy who asked for another repeat that I couldn't afford it again so soon, he said just to pay him what I could. I made it clear it wouldn't be much, and he was okay with that; I think I gave him $20.

 

I know guys who offer 1/2 fee after someone reviews on RM.

 

did he know you only had a 20 to spare?

 

As I said before, a lot of masseurs find it easier to have sex with a client in lieu of a full body massage for 90 min.

 

Bingo fucking is easier than massaging.

 

Besides giving a massage for 90 mins might get him tired. How many can he do a day?

 

I'm sure there's chemistry with you @Wolfer but is not for free.

[Phil_musc]

There are at least two of us. ?

Make that three.

[Redwine56]

I guess I'm the idiot out here getting sex for ... FREE. LOL

Well @big dale - you have a reputation to uphold so it doesn't surprise me.

[Wolfer]

I love these kinds of threads that seem to be our version of "Dear Abbey" or "Dear Ann Landers."

 

So if the masseur already has a good job and is just doing the massage thing to put his illegitimate children through Vasser when the time comes (or whatever. . . ), my question is what is the OP's job? It sounds like he may be quite the hottie and if his regular position had dried up with Covid issues he has missed a golden opportunity to develop another career. Might he consider posting some photos here so we can assess his possibilities and offer our further $.02?

Hahaha, I work in a lab so my job has been unaffected. Honestly, I had half a mind of posting some pictures of myself here, were it not that it's such a hassle to do so (because I'd have to upload them elsewhere and then link back here).

Masseur is making booty sales-calls to me.

Fixed that headline for ya. Don't get it twisted.

Hahahaha, omg, this had me howling! Thanks for the laugh

@Wolfer After reading the OP my initial thought was not to comment because it sounded like you have the situation properly analyzed. You just don't want to pull the trigger and make the decision to change (or cancel) the arrangement for fear of losing something. Others in this thread have responded with the "if it ain't broke" reply, but it really doesn't sound like you are comfortable with the situation to continue as is, whereas others might. For what it's worth, I'm not willing to say the masseur is using you, but you certainly present as the perfect client, i.e. someone he's attracted to and with whom he gets to have fun and get paid.

 

What made me want to respond though was the above quoted comment. I don't know if flattered is a word I would use in this situation because it makes it sound like the masseur is doing you some courtesy by seeking out your business and you should be grateful for it. That kind of thinking is partly why you seem upset about the situation.

 

A while ago I had a somewhat similar situation. I had a regular masseur and after our first couple of sessions we had full on sex. From that point on we had sex every time we met. He was very nice and complimented me and I knew he enjoyed himself. I even saw him out socially once and we hung out a bit. We would email and share funny memes, etc. He never reached out to me about setting up a time, but in my mind I always approached a session with him as a paying client. We weren't FWB. However, there were a couple of times when he was particularly horny that he pretty much skipped the massage and went to town on me immediately. (And yes, the sex was good! haha) When that happened, he would leave without asking for payment. In those instances it was about him getting pleasure (and also pleasuring me) and not him providing a service. If your guy is not willing to do that, then you have your answer. You either need to cut him or decide if you can continue with things as they are, putting aside any feelings of being afraid he might say no at some point.

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful response. It has been very helpful in helping me assess and adress the situation. I really, really appreciate it!! It helped me a lot!

Bingo fucking is easier than massaging.

I don't know where you guys are getting this from. From the masseurs (the professionally trained who only offer masseur services) I have spoken to, they were unanimous that giving massages is way easier for them than sex. Because they can give a great massage to anyone, regardless of looks, whereas fucking someone they can't. Now, for guys who are mainly escorts and offer massage on the side, I would agree, but for guys who are masseurs who sometimes do more with clients, I have not found this to be true at all.

[marylander1940]

 

 

I don't know where you guys are getting this from. From the masseurs (the professionally trained who only offer masseur services) I have spoken to, they were unanimous that giving massages is way easier for them than sex. Because they can give a great massage to anyone, regardless of looks, whereas fucking someone they can't. Now, for guys who are mainly escorts and offer massage on the side, I would agree, but for guys who are masseurs who sometimes do more with clients, I have not found this to be true at all.

 

Different folks, different strokes.

 

Some guys just can't escort. At least in Europe where you live folks tend to be in better shape than this side of the pond.

 

One more thing if you're paying... is not a booty-call even if he usually doesn't have intercourse with his massage clients.

[+ poolboy48220]

did he know you only had a 20 to spare?

He did.

[Phil_musc]

I don't know where you guys are getting this from. From the masseurs (the professionally trained who only offer masseur services) I have spoken to, they were unanimous that giving massages is way easier for them than sex. Because they can give a great massage to anyone, regardless of looks, whereas fucking someone they can't. Now, for guys who are mainly escorts and offer massage on the side, I would agree, but for guys who are masseurs who sometimes do more with clients, I have not found this to be true at all.

 

I don't know about this - I've always thought I was an easy lay. . .

[cany10011]

Sounds like many of us are getting escort services from a masseur

[Terpmaniac]

He's not calling you when he's horney, he's calling you when he's broke.

 

And we have a WINNER!

[dbar123]

The OP has turned into the First National Bank of Fuck-Me-Now. I wish my bank teller was equally accommodating when I make withdrawals

[Wolfer]

Well. He hit me up again. I responded saying I needed to save money but asked if he would be open to meeting up off the clock and without massage. The speed at which he replied in all caps "YES" took me by surprise.

 

I spent the whole night there. It was amazing. Neither of us is looking to date (so it'll just stay casual) and I told him I still want to hire him for his masseur services. He told me that he would also like to have more off the clock dates, besides the massage sessions.

[maninsoma]

Well. He hit me up again. I responded saying I needed to save money but asked if he would be open to meeting up off the clock and without massage. The speed at which he replied in all caps "YES" took me by surprise.

 

I spent the whole night there. It was amazing. Neither of us is looking to date (so it'll just stay casual) and I told him I still want to hire him for his masseur services. He told me that he would also like to have more off the clock dates, besides the massage sessions.

 

Good for you that you got that all sorted out by directly asking for what you wanted.

[+ JEC]

[HotWhiteThirties]

I'd like to commend the OP, @Wolfer, for following through with an update on his situation. I know these sorts of threads are begun asking for input and after 10 pages of replies from forum members its "crickets," from the OP. It's like watching a movie with no end! ?

 

In this case the ending was neat, tidy, and hot! I'm a bit envious. ? Now we just need @Wolfer to return with detailed entries of his FWB exploits! ???

[Phil_musc]

I'm still sorta hoping that Wolfer will figure out how to post his pictures here so we can all drool. And I would help with his ad copy if he decides to turn pro. Just sayin' . . .

[+ sniper]

Thinking more about this, what's the age gap here and how old is he? Kids today don't really have "courting" skills(well, really almost everyone today partly thanks to the apps) and you may want to keep in mind that his "not wanting to date" might not be true. If you really would not ever date him, try to observe if he's catching feelings. Remember the Campfire Rule...

[Wolfer]

Thinking more about this, what's the age gap here and how old is he? Kids today don't really have "courting" skills(well, really almost everyone today partly thanks to the apps) and you may want to keep in mind that his "not wanting to date" might not be true. If you really would not ever date him, try to observe if he's catching feelings. Remember the Campfire Rule...

We're nearly the same age, I'm 36 and he is 34. What's the campfire rule?

[+ sync]

We're nearly the same age, I'm 36 and he is 34. What's the campfire rule?

I was also curious about that: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=campfire%20rule

[Phil_musc]

Ah, the things I learn here. . .

[PaulM]

Awesome...didn't see that coming. Glad you reached out to the forum, got good advice and that things worked out. I think sometimes we get stuck in our heads and over analyze things. Life is short and fleeting. It nice to hear a happy ending

[Phil_musc]

Aww, this has turned out so sweet - I see a possible Hallmark holiday rom/com here on the horizon.

 

Ah if only Dorothy Parker were still with us and a member of this board. I can just imagine what she would have to say!! ;)

[Kyle_paul11]

Name names, he’s probably doing it to more than just you.

[+ sniper]

Name names, he’s probably doing it to more than just you.

I mean, if he's spending the night for free and has a day job, I don't really see how he has the time for that.

[Okashii81]

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful response. It has been very helpful in helping me assess and adress the situation. I really, really appreciate it!! It helped me a lot!

 

I'm glad I could help and it sounds like things worked out well in the end!