Masseur is making booty-calls to me

[Wolfer]

A couple of weeks ago I booked a masseur, purely for massage. Halfway through the massage he escalated things and we had full-on sex.

 

Since then every few weeks or so he'll text me out of the blue asking for us to meet for sex and have me pay his massage rate. Which, on one hand, it's cute and flattering but on the other hand... I'm starting to feel a bit used. The sex is incredible, so that's why I've gone along with it once or twice. But it's always last minute, clearly only when he's in the mood (when I tried scheduling him he had lots of excuses on why we couldn't meet at times it was convenient for me).

 

It's also abundantly clear that if we had initially met in a non-professional capacity he would be having sex with me for free and he asked (in a kind of cute and insecure way) that once bars are open we could have a drink sometime.

 

Of course, my fear of missing out is making me say "yes" to his proposals to meet for paid sex (he does give me a short massage each time before and he did train as a professional massage therapist so the massage is one of the best I've ever had). I'm afraid that if I say "no" one time, I'll never be able to see him again and the sex is really good.

 

But I'm mostly annoyed that it's all on his time, his schedule, last minute... And I just either have to say yes whenever he feels like reaching out or not meet him at all. Feels more like a friends with benefits arrangement, which I wouldn't mind as much if I wasn't paying for it.

 

Anyway, so last Saturday he texted me at 11pm asking to meet either at that moment or Sunday morning. I said I couldn't but he proposed that we could maybe meet Friday evening to which I agreed only for him to then not confirm Friday but say "let's be in touch" which to me translates to: "If I'm still horny by then I'll meet you."

[relax man]

@Wolfer, it sounds like you've assessed the situation pretty well. The masseur sounds like someone who is basically just looking to monetize his sex life. If he was interested in some kind of relationship with you, he wouldn't be charging you for it. Nothing wrong with continuing to see him; just be clear with yourself that you're paying him for sex, and don't let your expectations exceed the reality. Good luck.

Edited March 16, 2021 by relax man

[Harryinny]

Sex at massage rate, cute boy and good masseur, any time ?

[The Dude]

He's not calling you when he's horney, he's calling you when he's broke.

[Monarchy79]

From the sounds of things, he should be paying YOU.

Give him your rates and availabilities, and see how he responds.

 

???

[+ nycman]

Cute guy.

Great sex.

 

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth....and don’t fuck it up.

[+ keroscenefire]

He's not calling you when he's horney, he's calling you when he's broke.

 

I don't know if I agree 100 percent. I know I have had just really good mutual sex with escorts and have been in similar situations where the escort has contacted me to have sex because he was horny and really enjoyed the sex we in particular have. Certainly getting paid is part of it but getting laid is also part of it.

[+ sync]

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

[dutchal]

.and don’t fuck it up.

Unless he's riding you.

[CuriousByNature]

Perhaps he feels awkward about changing the terms of the arrangement for some reason. Could it be that the client/provider relationship is the most comfortable and non-threatening context he can operate within? It seems he must value your company beyond any financial gain it provides. Just a different perspective to consider...

[Guest fm0322]

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

This is a fascinating post. I fall in the "if it ain't broke..." category. I have enjoyed private moments with masseurs and as long as it is fully consensual I am not bothered by it. Actually, it's great! What troubles me is @Wolfer reservation about it. Clearly, if there are reservations, then it probably should be reconsidered. In the meantime.... enjoy it

[+ azdr0710]

[Redwine56]

This is a fascinating post. I fall in the "if it ain't broke..." category. I have enjoyed private moments with masseurs and as long as it is fully consensual I am not bothered by it. Actually, it's great! What troubles me is @Wolfer reservation about it. Clearly, if there are reservations, then it probably should be reconsidered. In the meantime.... enjoy it

I can understand why @Wolfer feels the way he does. The reason this masseur calls him last minute is because he is in a relationship with someone - man or woman - or maybe even married? When he's able to get away to make a booty call, he cums calling @Wolfer. This is one of those situations that you enjoy for what it's worth and don't read into it. How about testing the waters- next time he calls, you tell him up front that you have no spare change this week but I'd still like to meet up with you. See what the reaction is. It does still sound hot to me!

[+ IronMaus]

So he wants something you want when he wants it, and is willing to give you the other thing at the same time to get it? That's a pretty good deal but I understand your frustration. Masseurs that only have one foot in SW have these sort of hybrid relationships.

If you would feel comfortable with a higher (SW) rate to schedule on your terms (and still get that great mini-massage!) that might help coax him into a more professional commitment.

[PeaseBlossom]

A couple of weeks ago I booked a masseur, purely for massage. Halfway through the massage he escalated things and we had full-on sex.

 

Since then every few weeks or so he'll text me out of the blue asking for us to meet for sex and have me pay his massage rate. Which, on one hand, it's cute and flattering but on the other hand... I'm starting to feel a bit used. The sex is incredible, so that's why I've gone along with it once or twice. But it's always last minute, clearly only when he's in the mood (when I tried scheduling him he had lots of excuses on why we couldn't meet at times it was convenient for me).

 

It's also abundantly clear that if we had initially met in a non-professional capacity he would be having sex with me for free and he asked (in a kind of cute and insecure way) that once bars are open we could have a drink sometime.

 

Of course, my fear of missing out is making me say "yes" to his proposals to meet for paid sex (he does give me a short massage each time before and he did train as a professional massage therapist so the massage is one of the best I've ever had). I'm afraid that if I say "no" one time, I'll never be able to see him again and the sex is really good.

 

But I'm mostly annoyed that it's all on his time, his schedule, last minute... And I just either have to say yes whenever he feels like reaching out or not meet him at all. Feels more like a friends with benefits arrangement, which I wouldn't mind as much if I wasn't paying for it.

 

Anyway, so last Saturday he texted me at 11pm asking to meet either at that moment or Sunday morning. I said I couldn't but he proposed that we could maybe meet Friday evening to which I agreed only for him to then not confirm Friday but say "let's be in touch" which to me translates to: "If I'm still horny by then I'll meet you."

He doesn’t like you; he Iikes your money. We have all experienced this (at least while we are still in our 30’s and 40’s). If he turns your money down when you offer it to him, and spends the night, that’s different possibly. You think it’s “abundantly clear” that he’d be having sex with you for free if you met through a different way. Oh really? You don’t think he can find a paying client to take your place if he wanted to date you? All gay men think they are more desirable and attractive than they really are.

 

Want a quick way to test my hypothesis? Ask him on a date (again this something all of us clients have done with little success). If he suddenly avoids you like the plague then you have your answer.

Edited March 17, 2021 by PeaseBlossom

[PaulM]

Don't kid yourself into thinking that this is something more than it is - a paid booty call. He's not interested in a "relationship" and don't delude yourself that he might be or that this could turn into something. It is what it is and if you enjoy it and it's worth the money to you, continue. If not, don't. You're just headed for heartbreak if you think this is anything more. My 2 cents...

[PeaseBlossom]

Don't kid yourself into thinking that this is something more than it is - a paid booty call. He's not interested in a "relationship" and don't delude yourself that he might be or that this could turn into something. It is what it is and if you enjoy it and it's worth the money to you, continue. If not, don't. You're just headed for heartbreak if you think this is anything more. My 2 cents...

I do sympathize with the OP because some “masseurs” make a business of hooking clients in and making them think that possibly more could come, and they are very good at it.

[Monarchy79]

B.L.U.F.

 

If the dude is contacting YOU for sex, you shouldn’t be paying for it.

[Monarchy79]

He doesn’t like you; he Iikes your money. We have all experienced this (at least while we are still in our 30’s and 40’s). If he turns your money down when you offer it to him, and spends the night, that’s different possibly. You think it’s “abundantly clear” that he’d be having sex with you for free if you met through a different way. Oh really? You don’t think he can find a paying client to take your place if he wanted to date you? All gay men think they are more desirable and attractive than they really are.

 

Want a quick way to test my hypothesis? Ask him on a date (again this something all of us clients have done with little success). If he suddenly avoids you like the plague then you have your answer.

 

I think he likes the money, BUT he likes the sex too. Otherwise, he’d just offer him the massages (without the sex).

[PeaseBlossom]

I think he likes the money, BUT he likes the sex too. Otherwise, he’d just offer him the massages (without the sex).

Many masseurs have sex because it’s easier than giving a full massage. Also, I think you’re putting too much weight on the masseur “liking the sex”. Many sex workers can find any little thing to be turned on by in a client and can have sex. That’s a far cry from wanting to date the client.

[PeaseBlossom]

B.L.U.F.

 

If the dude is contacting YOU for sex, you shouldn’t be paying for it.

He’s not “contacting [the client] for sex”; he’s contacting him for money.

[Becket]

Yes, the sex part sounds awesome. But he changed the rules of the client/provider relationship. That's why it feels a little strange. And there is a power thing going on. I understand why you are a little disconcerted. I would advise making a little distance between this fellow and yourself, if only for your mental state. Remember guys, that often times sex is only part of what we seek when we hire.

[Wolfer]

He's not calling you when he's horney, he's calling you when he's broke.

I don't think so, he has a full-time (non massage related) job that wasn't impacted by the lockdown. The massage business is something extra he does.

That’s a far cry from wanting to date the client.

I'm not looking to date him. I'm just bothered by the fact that he is scheduling me for something he wants instead of the other way round.

Yes, the sex part sounds awesome. But he changed the rules of the client/provider relationship. That's why it feels a little strange. And there is a power thing going on. I understand why you are a little disconcerted. I would advise making a little distance between this fellow and yourself, if only for your mental state. Remember guys, that often times sex is only part of what we seek when we hire.

Exactly, thank you for expressing it like that. He did change the dynamic and now I'm not sure how I feel about it.

[Monarchy79]

Many masseurs have sex because it’s easier than giving a full massage. Also, I think you’re putting too much weight on the masseur “liking the sex”. Many sex workers can find any little thing to be turned on by in a client and can have sex. That’s a far cry from wanting to date the client.

I never implied that the said masseur wanted to date the client. I simply said that he enjoyed the sex.

[Monarchy79]

He’s not “contacting [the client] for sex”; he’s contacting him for money.

He’s contacting him for both.

He could easily provide him a massage, and get paid, without the sex.