Introvert or Extrovert?

[jonnychgo]

I have always considered myself an introvert, even though when I am comfortable with people - say at work - I am very outgoing. Recently retired from a career in public service where I encountered lots of rude, mean and entitled people. So I thought I would be content with possibly very little interaction. I have always liked going to a coffee house alone, solo walks along the lake or in neighborhood shopping districts with people around yet not directly interacting. Perhaps a comment or two but basically alone. I would feel "energy" and less antisocial just being in a crowd although actually alone. The past two weeks of social isolation is making me rethink if I truly am an introvert as missing my "energy" greatly. I try to contact at least one or two other single people daily by text or phone which helps, but. . . .

 

Anyone else feeling this way?

[Guest]

I’d never consider myself an introvert, but I’m feeling the exact same thing.

[Spursy]

Yes, I'm feeling the same way. Many introverts value alone time, but, as you point out, "alone" time for we introverts can be in public or in the middle of other people. Also, most introverts still enjoy spending some time with their close friends to balance the alone time. What we're experiencing now is quite different. Introversion is not the same as social isolation, at least not in most cases.

 

Think how bad it must be for the extroverts!

[+ Kman]

I am mainly an introvert, so I value my alone time but I also need that social interaction with friends. Even a week without social interaction gets me stir crazy. So anyway you may not be 100% introverted but maybe 70/30?? If you take the Myers-Briggs personality test it can show your introvert/extrovert percentages.

[marylander1940]

Introvert till college, after that definitively extrovert.

[+ Pensant]

Extrovert here. Glad to have such great friends, family and neighbors. Texting has declined in favor of live calls, street chats and Zoom get-togethers.

[big-n-tall]

I consider myself an introverted extrovert.

 

I can be extremely shy and I love my alone time. On the other hand, I can be very outgoing depending on the situation. If I'm new to a situation or person I'm very reserved and quiet. I tend to be the observer. However, if I'm very comfortable in a situation or with a person I'm very gregarious and even charming or so I've been told.

 

Although I don't readily seek social interaction with most of my friends and family, there are a few I feel compelled to talk to, text, or see on a regular basis.

[jjkrkwood]

I am an introvert, but oddly have a "bold" personality (I am told). I have always disliked doing things alone, like eating out, going to movies etc, and have found that if I am solo, I prefer being home. I retired in 2017, and since have had more home-alone time. I was widowed 20 years ago, and have not been in a serious relationship since. So I have gotten accustomed to Alone time and am handling the current situation fairly well, although I would like to be outdoors more, but am afraid to since I am in NYC, one the the biggest hotspots for Covid, and I don't feel confident we are getting ALL the info on how the virus lives or is transmitted, so staying indoors gives me a greater sense of security. But I am not sure how much longer I will be able to tolerate the Mandate, since I am also not a person that likes being TOLD what to do.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

When I'm at home, I'm an introvert. I have a routine. I stick to it like glue. I like peace & quiet.

 

Otherwise, I'm an extrovert in every other facet of my life.

[Monarchy79]

I was “introvert-shamed”, for many years, until my mid 30s, and started living in my truth.

Previously I was pressured into an extroverted lifestyle, which I never really liked (group trips, constant interactions with people I didn’t choose to be in my presence, and social activities I felt obligated to). Even as a child, I was forced into attending family functions playing with other kids (as at that time “socializing” children, was supposed to be a positive aspect of raising them.) Coming into “gay world”, was daunting for me as well, as I was bombarded with social interactions with snarky, vapid, obnoxious, inauthentic people who drained me to the core. I literally needed a “social detox”.

 

I did a mental “spring cleaning”, close to five years ago and haven’t looked back.

 

I now enjoy my solitude and love traveling alone, sightseeing alone, and enjoying quality time with people that I CHOOSE to be around ( I have a small selection of great, authentic friends whom I respect, and truly like being around).

 

I do what I want to do, on my terms, with no pressures of social obligations.

 

I now live in my truth as an introvert, and I love it!!!!!

[+ SundayZip]

I was “introvert-shamed”, for many years, until my mid 30s, and started living in my truth.

Previously I was pressured into an extroverted lifestyle, which I never really liked (group trips, constant interactions with people I didn’t choose to be in my presence, and social activities I felt obligated to). Even as a child, I was forced into attending family functions playing with other kids (as at that time “socializing” children, was supposed to be a positive aspect of raising them.) Coming into “gay world”, was daunting for me as well, as I was bombarded with social interactions with snarky, vapid, obnoxious, inauthentic people who drained me to the core. I literally needed a “social detox”.

 

I did a mental “spring cleaning”, close to five years ago and haven’t looked back.

 

I now enjoy my solitude and love traveling alone, sightseeing alone, and enjoying quality time with people that I CHOOSE to be around ( I have a small selection of great, authentic friends whom I respect, and truly like being around).

 

I do what I want to do, on my terms, with no pressures of social obligations.

 

I now live in my truth as an introvert, and I love it!!!!!

 

Thank-you for this post, @Monarchy79. I too suffered from introvert-shaming in my younger years. It wasn't until around my 40s that I started accepting it and, as you say, started living in my truth. So many people misunderstand introversion. They assume it means being shy and withdrawn. Personally, I enjoy social interactions and love being with good friends and family -- but at the end of the day, I need my own space. I need the alone time to decompress. Then I'm ready to go again.

 

I've read a number of articles that define different types of introverts. One categorization defines 4 types of introversion:

 

Social Introversion: Says no to going to a party. Would rather be home doing some kind of solitary activity. When they do socialize, they keep to small groups. This probably ties into a feeling of exhaustion from too much social interaction.

 

Introspective Introversion: Tends to be pensive and introspective. They look inside themselves and self-reflect often. People with high levels of thinking introversion don’t share the aversion to social events people usually associate with introversion.

 

Restrained Introversion: It takes this person a while to get going. They don’t jump out of bed ready to embrace the day. It may translate to being quiet or standoffish in social situations but would later blossom into more participation in socialization.

 

Anxious Introversion: They stay at home from the party but for a reason. They feel self-conscious and even when they’re alone they ruminate about their social interactions.

 

I'd put myself mostly in the the Introspective category although I sometimes see a touch of the other types in myself.

[Mo Mason]

I'm an extreme introvert and I'm loving this isolation. It could go on for months and I'd be okay with it.

 

I've always dreamed of winning the lottery so I could buy a house far out into the woods, have everything I need shipped to me, and have very little human contact for the rest of my life. Except hiring for occasional, temporary companionship. That would still continue. But, otherwise, just me and my dog.

[+ Just966]

I am an introvert, but oddly have a "bold" personality (I am told). I have always disliked doing things alone, like eating out, going to movies etc, and have found that if I am solo, I prefer being home. I retired in 2017, and since have had more home-alone time. I was widowed 20 years ago, and have not been in a serious relationship since. So I have gotten accustomed to Alone time and am handling the current situation fairly well, although I would like to be outdoors more, but am afraid to since I am in NYC, one the the biggest hotspots for Covid, and I don't feel confident we are getting ALL the info on how the virus lives or is transmitted, so staying indoors gives me a greater sense of security. But I am not sure how much longer I will be able to tolerate the Mandate, since I am also not a person that likes being TOLD what to do.

 

Interesting how you develope idea of people whom you have never met through posts on this site. i definitely would have assumed you were an extrovert with a very bold personality (half right) based on your posts here. Interesting!

[jjkrkwood]

Interesting how you develope idea of people whom you have never met through posts on this site. i definitely would have assumed you were an extrovert with a very bold personality (half right) based on your posts here. Interesting!

 

Its VERY easy to be BOLD and extroverted while sitting alone behind a computer screen.... Remember the Wizard of Oz was actually a meek, skinny little guy behind a manufactured Supersized screen.... While I am not meek, skinny or little I definitely feel enboldened commenting thru the pc, but still in all my comments are always heart felt, and honest, and I own everything I say.

[down_to_business]

Introvert here. That doesn't mean I don't like doing things with others. For me, it just takes me a longer time to make friends, and I tend to make much fewer but closer ones than my extroverted friends.

 

I would think (us) introverts would probably have an easier time dealing with isolation, but it doesn't mean we all want it. I have also had the opportunity to go through one of those "expensive" personality tests. It actually was insightful.

[+ Charlie]

I suspect that many men who become aware of their sexual attraction to other men at a young age become introverted simply in self-defense. I realized I was homosexual in adolescence and was very shy until my very early twenties. Once I was out of college and on my own in a gay urban community, I became more self-confident socially, and was lucky to find a partner and friends who basically taught me how to at least behave like an extrovert, even though I still am in that "Introspective Introvert" category.

[+ sync]

I'm an introvert with social anxiety (jackpot). While I'm most comfortable when I'm alone, I do understand the uneasiness felt by many fellow introverts that is generated by COVID-19...voluntary isolation is very different from restrictive confinement.

[+ honcho]

A lady who ran a music shop told me - "Keith, you're a better listener than a talker ... you'll need to speak up or [they] will never let you get a word in edge-wise". Not sure if that makes me an introvert.

 

If I feel particularly agreved, then I'm not shy about speaking my mind though.

 

I don't enjoy being jostled about in large crowds (e.g. the Folsom street fair).

[cany10011]

I am an introvert, but oddly have a "bold" personality (I am told). I have always disliked doing things alone, like eating out, going to movies etc, and have found that if I am solo, I prefer being home. I retired in 2017, and since have had more home-alone time. I was widowed 20 years ago, and have not been in a serious relationship since. So I have gotten accustomed to Alone time and am handling the current situation fairly well, although I would like to be outdoors more, but am afraid to since I am in NYC, one the the biggest hotspots for Covid, and I don't feel confident we are getting ALL the info on how the virus lives or is transmitted, so staying indoors gives me a greater sense of security. But I am not sure how much longer I will be able to tolerate the Mandate, since I am also not a person that likes being TOLD what to do.

 

I‘m the same. Introvert by nature and enjoy staying home, tackling a challenge like a new recipe or a technical origami sculpture. But, also an extrovert among friends/group settings.

 

For the time being, I‘m staying indoors. Refusing to go out for social walks with other friends/neighbors. The streets in new york are not wide enough to keep 6 feet apart. Just doing group takeout and sharing/zooming with friends in my building. I think fear of catching the virus is impeding me from going out, even venturing to my mailbox downstairs. Packages are delivered to my door, so i have no need to even leave my condo and it’s big enough, bright and spacious. Working from home, but too distracted with news updates. Practicing some piano, meditating, and watching too many netflix shows...

[jjkrkwood]

I‘m the same. Introvert by nature and enjoy staying home, tackling a challenge like a new recipe or a technical origami sculpture. But, also an extrovert among friends/group settings.

 

For the time being, I‘m staying indoors. Refusing to go out for social walks with other friends/neighbors. The streets in new york are not wide enough to keep 6 feet apart. Just doing group takeout and sharing/zooming with friends in my building. I think fear of catching the virus is impeding me from going out, even venturing to my mailbox downstairs. Packages are delivered to my door, so i have no need to even leave my condo and it’s big enough, bright and spacious. Working from home, but too distracted with news updates. Practicing some piano, meditating, and watching too many netflix shows...

 

I wonder how all of this will play out, as more and more workers who deliver our items and mail, and work in distribution centers become sick, OR go on strike because they dont want to work in unsafe conditions... ? This is a major shift in our society and it will take work, patience and time to adjust to..... The unknown is TIME, so we just have to take it day by day.

[+ Just966]

Its VERY easy to be BOLD and extroverted while sitting alone behind a computer screen.... Remember the Wizard of Oz was actually a meek, skinny little guy behind a manufactured Supersized screen.... While I am not meek, skinny or little I definitely feel enboldened commenting thru the pc, but still in all my comments are always heart felt, and honest, and I own everything I say.

 

Yes I agree completely, very easy to show a completely different persona when posting on here in relation to real life! Psrt of the attraction of it:)

[+ RJD]

voluntary isolation is very different from restrictive confinement.

 

This ⬆️ 100%. I’m somewhat of an introvert until I get to know people and feel comfortable opening up. I enjoy my alone time, but not being able to control the level of isolation is challenging. This “social distancing” is an interesting psychological experiment.

[+ Reisr30]

This ⬆️ 100%. I’m somewhat of an introvert until I get to know people and feel comfortable opening up. I enjoy my alone time, but not being able to control the level of isolation is challenging. This “social distancing” is an interesting psychological experiment.

Maybe introvert vs extrovert vs recluse.

 

I actually don’t mind the social distancing maybe that makes me an introverted recluse???

[+ RJD]

Maybe introvert vs extrovert vs recluse.

 

I actually don’t mind the social distancing maybe that makes me an introverted recluse???

 

I agree that being reclusive and introverted are two different things, however, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a reclusive extrovert.

[Jaguar1]

I'm definitely an introvert who would like to be an extrovert. As a college professor, I had to be more outgoing, both in the classroom and out of it. For a few decades, socializing with colleagues and their acquaintances gave me many connections. Many of my gay connections died during the 80's and 90's. Straight friends moved to Florida or Arizona, and now I long for companionship. I despise retirement and have found volunteer work generally uninspiring. When "stay home" orders are lifted, I'm going to go out often and attempt to meet people and develop mutual interests.