Article about unique challenges LGBTQ seniors have as they face retirement

[EZEtoGRU]

A very relevant article for many of us as we age into our senior years. I thought about posting this in the thread about turning 50 and deciding where to retire but, in the end, I decided this probably needed it's own thread. Key takeaways for me were:

 

* Access to competent, knowledgeable, and accepting health care professionals needs to be a priority. Don't assume it's available everywhere.

* LGBTQ seniors sometimes find themselves having unique challenges finding employment.

* Some LGBTQ seniors find themselves having to go back into the closet as they seek retirement homes/assisted living housing.

* Acceptance by society challenges seem more exacerbated if one lives in/chooses to live in rural or small town America.

 

Have a read and share any relevant experiences you have had or have heard about.

 

https://blogs.msn.com/povertynextdoor/lgbtq-seniors-struggle-to-overcome-economic-hardships-and-age-old-stigmas?ocid=spartanntp

Edited December 6, 2019 by EZEtoGRU

[KeepItReal]

A very relevant article for many of us as we age into our senior years. I thought about posting this in the thread about turning 50 and deciding where to retire but, in the end, I decided this probably needed it's own thread. Key takeaways for were:

 

* Access to competent, knowledgeable, and accepting health care professionals needs to be a priority. Don't assume it's available everywhere.

* LGBTQ seniors sometimes find themselves having unique challenges finding employment.

* Some LGBTQ seniors find themselves having to go back into the closet as they seek retirement homes/assisted living housing.

* Acceptance by society challenges seem more exacerbated if one lives in/chooses to live in rural or small town America.

 

Have a read and share any relevant experiences you have had or have heard about.

 

https://blogs.msn.com/povertynextdoor/lgbtq-seniors-struggle-to-overcome-economic-hardships-and-age-old-stigmas?ocid=spartanntp

I find it interesting that people complaint about acceptance but then support those that push against acceptance. Case in point, look at the pics in the article - there is one where Sharon Penner has a Chick-fil-A cup on her desk; she is complaining about acceptance and the impact of being openly GLBTQI on her business, yet she supports a business that is known for not being GLBTQI friendly...

[+ FrankR]

I find it interesting that people complaint about acceptance but then support those that push against acceptance. Case in point, look at the pics in the article - there is one where Sharon Penner has a Chick-fil-A cup on her desk; she is complaining about acceptance and the impact of being openly GLBTQI on her business, yet she supports a business that is known for not being GLBTQI friendly...

I missed that detail until you pointed it out - sharp eyes you have! ?

[Rockey]

I just don't understand why anyone would want to live in a rural area unless they're farmers. It's makes no sense for retirement.

[+ Charlie]

I just don't understand why anyone would want to live in a rural area unless they're farmers. It's makes no sense for retirement.

One of my closest gay friends left Center City Philadelphia and retired to a very small town on the Oregon coast, where he had more than a quarter century of wonderful retirement. It all depends on your personality and what you want out of life.

[+ E.T.Bass]

I find it interesting that people complaint about acceptance but then support those that push against acceptance. Case in point, look at the pics in the article - there is one where Sharon Penner has a Chick-fil-A cup on her desk; she is complaining about acceptance and the impact of being openly GLBTQI on her business, yet she supports a business that is known for not being GLBTQI friendly...

I could never enjoy ChikFilA no matter how good it tastes, yet I get it that the LGBTQ community will never agree on all our choices. People don't always connect the dots the same way we do.

 

I definitely worry about the kind of community I'll land in towards the end of the trail. I want it to be a community of clever, witty dykes and queens, easy on the sour puss, where we would never have to be in the closet.

[RealAvalon]

I could never enjoy ChikFilA no matter how good it tastes, yet I get it that the LGBTQ community will never agree on all our choices. People don't always connect the dots the same way we do.

 

I definitely worry about the kind of community I'll land in towards the end of the trail. I want it to be a community of clever, witty dykes and queens, easy on the sour puss, where we would never have to be in the closet.

Sounds like Celebration, Florida needs a twin city called Fabulous! Vibrant colors, not pastels. Diversity not sameness.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebration,_Florida

[Chad Constantine]

I just don't understand why anyone would want to live in a rural area unless they're farmers. It's makes no sense for retirement.

You must be a city boy lol.

[Walker1]

You must be a city boy lol.

Yup, I love country-cows, horses, goats, roosters, pigs, -what's not to love!

[KeepItReal]

Yup, I love country-cows, horses, goats, roosters, pigs, -what's not to love!

But will there be beer??

http://m.quickmeme.com/img/f2/f2ddb0116dfdf3ca8b7f70eca4c423f77a0446b4bf82cd274a1f787489c67c48.jpg

[+ E.T.Bass]

[+ Pensant]

I like the idea of developing an LGBTQ retirement community.

[+ Charlie]

I like the idea of developing an LGBTQ retirement community.

I used to think that was what I wanted, too, but I found I am actually happier in a mixed gay-straight retirement community, where everyone is tolerant of one another. Although a large part of the 55+ gated development I live in consists of gay males, most of my friends among my neighbors are straight couples and women.

[+ bigjoey]

I used to think that was what I wanted, too, but I found I am actually happier in a mixed gay-straight retirement community, where everyone is tolerant of one another. Although a large part of the 55+ gated development I live in consists of gay males, most of my friends among my neighbors are straight couples and women.

 

For me, being in a mixed environment is much more stimulating. Sexuality just defines one aspect of a person.

[+ sniper]

I can't quite find the word to express how I feel being in an all-gay environment too long, "exhausting" isn't quite it, but...there's a certain amount of perceived pressure to maintain an energy level that is just not my natural state.

[EZEtoGRU]

I agree with the last few posters about not wanting to live in an exclusively gay place. Too bitchy and boring IMHO. I interact much more with straight people in my current life and would expect that to continue even once I need more structured living arrangements. Even now at 60 years old, I cannot imagine living in one of the gay ghettos in the country such as WEHO, WIlton Manors, or Palm Springs. I know it's wonderful for some people (and I admit I do enjoy visiting for short stays) but a steady diet of that would ultimately bore me to tears.

[+ Charlie]

I agree with the last few posters about not wanting to live in an exclusively gay place. Too bitchy and boring IMHO. I interact much more with straight people in my current life and would expect that to continue even once I need more structured living arrangements. Even now at 60 years old, I cannot imagine living in one of the gay ghettos in the country such as WEHO, WIlton Manors, or Palm Springs. I know it's wonderful for some people (and I admit I do enjoy visiting for short stays) but a steady diet of that would ultimately bore me to tears.

Palm Springs is not a gay ghetto. The majority of the population is not gay. The difference is that the gay minority is large enough and visible enough that the rest of the population cannot ignore it, because it is spread out throughout the city rather than segregated in one neighborhood. Gay visitors may sometimes get the impression of a ghetto simply because the businesses that cater to gay tourists tend to be concentrated in certain areas of the city. Almost every straight resident has openly gay neighbors, every regular business has openly gay employees, and every regular business serves both gay and straight customers or clients, or they couldn't stay in business. It is the only place I have ever lived where my sexual orientation feels irrelevant.

[+ E.T.Bass]

Is Palm Springs the only place where the high school marching bands march in the Pride parade? Might be. I noticed parents brought their kids to view the parade. At least when I attended, it was a family friendly event.

 

If not for global warming I'd find a place over there.

[+ Kman]

That was a great article, thanks for sharing.

 

Working in healthcare I have seen LGBT clients hide their sexual orientation for a long time and then tell me or someone after a few months of working with them. If they were living with their partner they would refer to them as their friend or roommate. On the other hand though I've seen clients that were very open and their husband or wife would visit daily.

 

The other thing with assisted living facilities although there are some that will say they are LGBT friendly the other residents may not be so friendly...elder bullying is pretty common unfortunately.

[EZEtoGRU]

Palm Springs is not a gay ghetto. It is the only place I have ever lived where my sexual orientation feels irrelevant.

 

Really? I've never lived Palm Springs, but I've lived in several places in the US (Detroit, Atlanta, Miami, Houston) and the world(Bogota, Santiago, Sao Paulo) and my sexual orientation has never been an issue anywhere.

[+ Charlie]

Really? I've never lived Palm Springs, but I've lived in several places in the US (Detroit, Atlanta, Miami, Houston) and the world(Bogota, Santiago, Sao Paulo) and my sexual orientation has never been an issue anywhere.

"Feels irrelevant" in the sense that no matter where I go or what I do, I don't have to be "out," because no one takes it for granted than I am straight (the usual default mode). People are sophisticated enough not to assume that because I wear a wedding ring, I must be heterosexual, as happens in most other places when I interact with strangers. In other words, I don't have to assert my homosexuality, because it's a non-issue.