SIR.

[craigville beach]

Reverse race-play which is a very much a thing. Master/slave play amongst two white men is not the same as master/slave play amongst a POC and a white man for a variety of reasons.

 

Additionally, there is an influx of white men who I feel address me “sir” because they automatically associate skin color, in a sexual context, with dominance hence sometimes the “sir” being accompanied with “white slave here for bbc” and similar language. Not always, but sometimes. So I guess I’m asking the forum, for peace of mind, why they would be motivated to use the word when contacting an escort.

 

i disagree with you on this. I use "sir" daily when I am speaking with someone who I am not on a first name only basis. I don't care what color, size or age the individual is.

[hypothetically]

i disagree with you on this. I use "sir" daily when I am speaking with someone who I am not on a first name only basis. I don't care what color, size or age the individual is.

 

We’re not talking about when speaking to the postman or someone in the office @craigville beach , lol.

[tenderloin]

maybe I'm just not that into wringing my hands over the nuances of interpersonal relationships and the subtle undertones of suspected racial identity intercultural communication.......

 

but, jeez, is all this even worth really worrying about?.......maybe the guys are just being polite and professional???.......or am I too simple to participate in this thread??!!

 

 

Thank you! There can be any number of motivations. Guys often address me that way. I have assumed that it is either a slightly-quaint way of being polite, or because I describe myself as a "dad" so some may think I am looking for subservient, submissive guys. But gee there are bigger things to worry about LOL

 

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

[LookingAround]

You guys are overthinking this. In the gay community the term is used in a mild fetish way meaning you’re the dominant one. Not being just polite.

[thickornotatall]

The female doctor I see calls me Sir..as do the others in her office. Most people I come in contact know me and use my first name.

Quite a few address me as Doctor...I'm not a doctor but many people say I look like one?????...I corrected my pharmacist too..he thought I was a doctor...I like being called by my first name....and Sir...Just being recognized is fine with me..

[dcguy20]

This has certainly been a lesson in context for me! I have used the term with hires before. I am vanilla as they come, and would never use "sir" in a dominant/submissive, or any other connotation other than as a formality.

[+ Charlie]

"Dear Sir".....well, that is not the same thing as just plain "Sir." I do think it is probably an attempt by the prospective client to intimate that he wishes to be sexually submissive. However, if he is younger/smaller than you are (and from your photo it is obvious that you are not a twink), it may be simply a natural tribute to you from a younger/less powerful male. I am frequently called "sir" by people of both genders simply because of my obviously venerable age. I use "sir" verbally only when I am trying to attract the attention of a mature male stranger for information or to let him know that he has has done something inattentively, like dropping his wallet on the street or left his fly unzipped.

[David1024]

I think it can mean anything from a simple polite response, to something more specific. Problem is, you may never know.

 

last year I had an appointment set with an escort that I had never met. He texted me the day before to confirm that we were still on for the agreed time. I responded “Yes Sir”. My intent was to emphasize enthusiasm, nothing more. We had a great time. Then I was on a ski lift last winter and chatting to two college students from Texas. I asked if they were on spring break and they both responded “Yes Sir”. In that case it was purely politeness and I think the term is used more frequently in the south.

[caramelsub]

I think it can mean anything from a simple polite response, to something more specific. Problem is, you may never know.

 

last year I had an appointment set with an escort that I had never met. He texted me the day before to confirm that we were still on for the agreed time. I responded “Yes Sir”. My intent was to emphasize enthusiasm, nothing more. We had a great time. Then I was on a ski lift last winter and chatting to two college students from Texas. I asked if they were on spring break and they both responded “Yes Sir”. In that case it was purely politeness and I think the term is used more frequently in the south.

 

Yes it’s a southern thing. Yes sir, yes ma’am, all used as a sign of respect, mainly when talking to an elder.

[craigville beach]

i was once asked if i was retired from the service because if used "Sir"

[+ oldNbusted]

An increasing number of prospective clients are greeting me with “sir.” Would any clients care to elaborate what motivates one to call an escort “sir.”

 

I’m not naive, I know the context in which it is used is not purely formal salutations, but nor does my ad insinuate I’m into master/slave or dom/sub play, nor am I wearing a “master’s cap” in any of my photos. Is it motivated by race or is there just a huge influx of “bttm slaves,” gravitating towards me? I usually request they stop calling me “sir,” to which some respond “sorry, sir” LOL but idk..

 

I typically don’t entertain these inquiries as the language to follow usually isn’t appropriate nor does it come from a good place (i.e. “BBC,” theatrical interracial porn lingo). Sir is less ambiguous but still feels....

 

Thoughts?

 

I suspect the guys for whom race is a major factor are being up front about it. Setting aside race, you appear very muscular and have a full beard. Stereotypically that's going to appeal to guys who want someone to 'take charge' of them, so Sir is setting up that scenario. I'm pretty sure they are not thinking about it too deeply beyond the sexual. Of course, it also sounds like you have a good handle on it.

Edited October 31, 2019 by oldNbusted

[Rudynate]

I get called sir sometimes and it always from a submissive bottom

 

Even if you say you're not into master/slave or dom/sub play some clients only look at photos and not what you write in your ad before contacting you. I've had to repeat my age, sexual position, name and my sexuality on text to a couple clients even if it says it in my ad.

 

 

I've gotten used to subs addressing me as "Sir" or "Boss." In fact, I really quite lIke it. In the last few years, I've reinvented myself as a muscle dad, so I get it a lot. It seems fairly nuanced. Even in situations where there's no question of sex, it still seems to be a gesture of submission. I can imagine that if I were black, it might be a whole different thing.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Being called 'Sir' in relation to an escort-client communication can be fucking sexy

[+ newatthis]

This has certainly been a lesson in context for me! ...

For me, too. WADR, I think many of the responses completely ignore the context of the original question (escort, african-american, clients, ...) and also miss an important statement in his 3rd paragraph: 'the language to follow usually isn’t appropriate nor does it come from a good place (i.e. “BBC,” theatrical interracial porn lingo).'

 

I do have one question, @hypothetically. You started by writing 'An increasing number of prospective clients are greeting me with “sir.”' Any idea of why the number is increasing now? Have your ads or pictures changed? Or is it something about the client population that has changed?

[hypothetically]

For me, too. WADR, I think many of the responses completely ignore the context of the original question (escort, african-american, clients, ...) and also miss an important statement in his 3rd paragraph: 'the language to follow usually isn’t appropriate nor does it come from a good place (i.e. “BBC,” theatrical interracial porn lingo).'

 

I thought maybe I didn’t articulate properly. But I realize there are very few active (if any) African American escorts on the forum to reassert, nor a plethora of clients who hire escorts of color, as the responses indicated, so I just left it alone, truthfully.

 

I do have one question, @hypothetically. You started by writing 'An increasing number of prospective clients are greeting me with “sir.”' Any idea of why the number is increasing now? Have your ads or pictures changed? Or is it something about the client population that has changed?

 

The text in my ad has remained the same and is modest. I’ve uploaded new photos over the course of the summer but nothing fetish-specific. @BaronArtz did point out it may be because I live abroad. But I’m in Florida now and even getting the “cant wait sir,” “do you have any requests sir,” “I love your photos sir.” Its excessive. Maybe I just look like a damn sir, lol.

[hypothetically]

Being called 'Sir' in relation to an escort-client communication can be fucking sexy

 

I certainly don’t mind when geared up at Berghain.

[+ oldNbusted]

For me, too. WADR, I think many of the responses completely ignore the context of the original question (escort, african-american, clients, ...) and also miss an important statement in his 3rd paragraph: 'the language to follow usually isn’t appropriate nor does it come from a good place (i.e. “BBC,” theatrical interracial porn lingo).'

 

I'm respecting the OP did not start this thread in the politics subform. Otherwise I might have said more.

[tenderloin]

For me, too. WADR, I think many of the responses completely ignore the context of the original question (escort, african-american, clients, ...) and also miss an important statement in his 3rd paragraph: 'the language to follow usually isn’t appropriate nor does it come from a good place (i.e. “BBC,” theatrical interracial porn lingo).'

 

Can I ask why we are judging "theatrical interracial porn lingo" as not being from a "good place?" The profession which is the raison d'etre of this forum is all about fantasy and role play and pretend. There are lots of things I am not into -- I don't "get" about 90% of the kinks mentioned in the kink forum, and don't always feel comfortable with descriptions of rape scenarios and dungeons and bondage and toilet play etc. -- so I just move to the next post. It's not like we are suggesting these should be templates for hiring practices or college classes or political discourse (hmmm...). These are expressions of the private, intimate fantasies of men who are willing to pay for someone to play along. Don't want to play along? Say "no thanks" and delete.

 

I was once approached on Adam4Adam by a man of color who wanted to some very serious "slave-master" role play. He described scripts and props etc. I told him it wasn't my thing and wished him well. I don't "get" it, but if it privately turns him on and he can find someone to willingly engage with him, who am I to judge?

[MrMattBig]

Can I ask why we are judging "theatrical interracial porn lingo" as not being from a "good place?" The profession which is the raison d'etre of this forum is all about fantasy and role play and pretend. There are lots of things I am not into -- I don't "get" about 90% of the kinks mentioned in the kink forum, and don't always feel comfortable with descriptions of rape scenarios and dungeons and bondage and toilet play etc. -- so I just move to the next post. It's not like we are suggesting these should be templates for hiring practices or college classes or political discourse (hmmm...). These are expressions of the private, intimate fantasies of men who are willing to pay for someone to play along. Don't want to play along? Say "no thanks" and delete.

 

I was once approached on Adam4Adam by a man of color who wanted to some very serious "slave-master" role play. He described scripts and props etc. I told him it wasn't my thing and wished him well. I don't "get" it, but if it privately turns him on and he can find someone to willingly engage with him, who am I to judge?

There is a difference between acting on interests blindly and describing them.

For example, " you available sir? Tight hole here waiting to feel that Mandingo black cock gape my hole." Versus, " saw you ad, are you available?

Verbal sub here into dominate black men and like to emphasis roles with language like Mandingo, bbc, and the like. If this could be you let me know."

Yes this is a service industry. Yes, if you can't stand the fire, get out of the kitchen. But hearing things phrased like the first example just rubs you the wrong way when you hear it enough, and when more times than not those inquires turn out to be fantasy texters or cheap, and than go on to demean you afterwards. I'm Hispanic, but I have experienced language like my first example with regards to kinks and bdsm often. When someone approaches me like the second example, it makes me horny. The first example makes me want a glass of wine, sit them down, and have a long talk with them about how to approach and talk to people.

[hypothetically]

Can I ask why we are judging "theatrical interracial porn lingo" as not being from a "good place?" The profession which is the raison d'etre of this forum is all about fantasy and role play and pretend. There are lots of things I am not into -- I don't "get" about 90% of the kinks mentioned in the kink forum, and don't always feel comfortable with descriptions of rape scenarios and dungeons and bondage and toilet play etc. -- so I just move to the next post. It's not like we are suggesting these should be templates for hiring practices or college classes or political discourse (hmmm...). These are expressions of the private, intimate fantasies of men who are willing to pay for someone to play along. Don't want to play along? Say "no thanks" and delete.

 

I was once approached on Adam4Adam by a man of color who wanted to some very serious "slave-master" role play. He described scripts and props etc. I told him it wasn't my thing and wished him well. I don't "get" it, but if it privately turns him on and he can find someone to willingly engage with him, who am I to judge?

 

One, no judgement occurred. I presented a question, not a judgment.

 

Two, kinks (i.e Piss play, spanking and nipple play) are hardly the same as racial fetishization. Racial undertones are not “fantasy,” “role play,” or “pretend.”

 

Three, you are not a person of color, so to communicate to me, a person of color, that my experience is potentially invalid because it is foreign to your own and it is something that you will never come to understand or experience in the compacity that I have...well, that just doesn’t make any sense.

 

Four, this is not the political sub forum, I am not James Baldwin and while you are entitled to your opinion, I am entitled to not fully entertain it, because historically, once we start going down that path, it leads to a locked thread, and for good reason.

[Phlmuscle]

Could be a military thing. I have noticed that guys just out of the service tend to call people sir.

[InterestingGuy]

Getting called Sir for the first time in your life is almost as bad as finding your first grey hair

[tenderloin]

One, no judgement occurred. I presented a question, not a judgment.

 

Two, kinks (i.e Piss play, spanking and nipple play) are hardly the same as racial fetishization. Racial undertones are not “fantasy,” “role play,” or “pretend.”

 

Three, you are not a person of color, so to communicate to me, a person of color, that my experience is potentially invalid because it is foreign to your own and it is something that you will never come to understand or experience in the compacity that I have...well, that just doesn’t make any sense.

 

Four, this is not the political sub forum, I am not James Baldwin and while you are entitled to your opinion, I am entitled to not fully entertain it, because historically, once we start going down that path, it leads to a locked thread, and for good reason.

Don't ask for opinions if you only want to hear things you agree with.

[+ oldNbusted]

Don't ask for opinions if you only want to hear things you agree with.

 

BWAAA HAAA HAAA. https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/what-do-you-think-of-this-as-a-business-practice.151937/

[hypothetically]

BWAAA HAAA HAAA. https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/what-do-you-think-of-this-as-a-business-practice.151937/