Str8 guys less concerned with race than Gay Men?

[studchaser]

I know the headline sounds hard to believe but I have noticed on dating sites most str8 men seem to go out of their way to indicate they are into all ethnicities. On the flip side so many gay men seem to be so fixed on particular types. I dont know if this is a new phenomenon but I would think biology and sociology would support the opposite. since str8 men gave to consider creating a family in many cases you would think they would put more of a premium?

 

Any sociologist care to take a stab at why this might be happening? Is this a common trend and is it fading or increasing?

[+ keroscenefire]

Data backs up your claim. OkCupid does some interesting stuff with their data and did find that white men were less likely to reply to messages from men of color. https://www.thetaskforce.org/wonky-wednesday-racism-in-gay-online-dating/

 

Not sure about the why...maybe because gay men are already a marginalized group, some white gay men feel that they are holding onto more of their privilege if they partner with other white men? Not sure to be honest.

[Gadfly22]

I don't believe it. When I go to the beach I see more inter-racial couples in the gay section than in the hetero section. It also makes sense sociologically as I think straight people are more likely to take into consideration the reactions of their families/friends before embarking on an interracial romance whereas gays have already been through that song and dance when they came out.

[+ E.T.Bass]

I don't believe there is any difference between gay and straight men's preferences, whether looking to fuck or looking to date.

I find the OP not credible.

[+ sync]

Dating sites is/are a small universe upon which to base a broad generality.

[+ keroscenefire]

Dating sites is/are a small universe upon which to base a broad generality.

Well since one recent study suggested that upwards of 70 percent of same-sex couples met online (https://www.technologyreview.com/s/609091/first-evidence-that-online-dating-is-changing-the-nature-of-society/), I would say it's more than just a "small universe."

 

There is also the whole class-action lawsuit from gay Asian-Americans alleging racial discrimination on Grindr. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/asian-american-man-threatens-class-action-discrimination-suit-against-grindr-n890946

 

And of course Grindr had to do that whole Kindr campaign do go against the backlash of the site (with 27 million users) that sees many profiles with messages like "No Asians" or "No Blacks." So while I wouldn't necessarily say that gay men are more concerned with race than straight men....I do think that racism in the gay community is a big problem.

[hypothetically]

I don't believe it. When I go to the beach I see more inter-racial couples in the gay section than in the hetero section. It also makes sense sociologically as I think straight people are more likely to take into consideration the reactions of their families/friends before embarking on an interracial romance whereas gays have already been through that song and dance when they came out.

 

That beach with interracial couples in the “gay section” accounts for idk, .00001% of the population, if even lol. Believe it lol

[+ friendofsheila]

It could just as easily be because Str8 Men are getting laid less often so they started expanding their preferences.

[+ sniper]

It could also be a case of saying it to make themselves look better even if they are not open to all races. The fact is, the gay sites tend to focus more on hooking up so the people on them are less concerned with looking like a nice person.

[+ FreshFluff]

It could just as easily be because Str8 Men are getting laid less often so they started expanding their preferences.

 

Yep. Str8 men can’t afford to be picky when seeking sex partners. An attractive young gay men, OTOH, might walk into an adult video store full of men, see nothing of interest, and just walk out.

[+ sync]

Well since one recent study suggested that upwards of 70 percent of same-sex couples met online (https://www.technologyreview.com/s/609091/first-evidence-that-online-dating-is-changing-the-nature-of-society/), I would say it's more than just a "small universe."

 

There is also the whole class-action lawsuit from gay Asian-Americans alleging racial discrimination on Grindr. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/asian-american-man-threatens-class-action-discrimination-suit-against-grindr-n890946

 

And of course Grindr had to do that whole Kindr campaign do go against the backlash of the site (with 27 million users) that sees many profiles with messages like "No Asians" or "No Blacks." So while I wouldn't necessarily say that gay men are more concerned with race than straight men....I do think that racism in the gay community is a big problem.

 

What I intended to convey is that the scope of racism is too great to be assigned to gender, sexual orientation or dating sites. It is also a mistake to charge racism based on a declining of physical intimacy.

[JayCeeKy]

I'm disinclined to believe that either gay people or straight people (and the inestimable variations in-between) are inherently more or less receptive to relationships (sexual or otherwise) with members of other racial or ethnic compositions. Decades ago when gays were mostly closeted and opportunities for sexual encounters with any race were limited, I suspect that gays were perceived as more promiscuous and open to a variety of sexual partners, and maybe that perception was accurate. As gay people are now more accepted and more geared towards monogamous relationships it is likely that we, like our heterosexual peers, gravitate towards mates who reflect our social and professional status, regardless of race. It's also been my anecdotal experience that "straight" people have become more liberal in their choices of sexual mates - whether that be with members of other races, or even with members of their own gender.

 

I suspect that receptiveness to members of other races as sexual partners problably has more to do with one's education, culture, upbringing, and opportunity than it does with one's sexual orientation.

[+ FrankR]

Not sure I buy this either - data analysts can mold data to support so many suppositions. I see it every day when I watch the news. As Warren Buffett is fond of saying: Beware of geeks bearing formulas. He was referring to financial instruments, but the logic applies here. Did the analysis account for the fact that men of a minority class is...a minority on these sites? Did it take into account age and other parameters?

 

[+ keroscenefire]

Not sure I buy this either - data analysts can mold data to support so many suppositions. I see it every day when I watch the news. As Warren Buffett is fond of saying: Beware of geeks bearing formulas. He was referring to financial instruments, but the logic applies here. Did the analysis account for the fact that men of a minority class is...a minority on these sites? Did it take into account age and other parameters?

 

I don't really agree...I think data of all sorts is the best way to support any decision you make. And the study in this case is fairly straightforward..white gay men who got messages from both other white men and men of color were most likely to respond to other white men. The fact that there are less people of color on these sites is irrelevant.

 

For what it's worth, there is a lot more data to the study. There was another question where users were asked: Would you strongly prefer to date someone of your own skin color/racial background and gay white men actually had the highest percentage responding yes with 43 percent. This data just looked at LGB data, but I think that is interesting.

 

https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/samesexdataforracevsreplyrates.html

 

I'd say there is definitely a significant racial preferences in gay white men then in other groups.

[marylander1940]

It could just as easily be because Str8 Men are getting laid less often so they started expanding their preferences.

 

Depends on where they're. Here in DC and I guess in most big cities sex happens on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date. Straight men get pussy like crazy!

[marylander1940]

I know the headline sounds hard to believe but I have noticed on dating sites most str8 men seem to go out of their way to indicate they are into all ethnicities. On the flip side so many gay men seem to be so fixed on particular types. I dont know if this is a new phenomenon but I would think biology and sociology would support the opposite. since str8 men gave to consider creating a family in many cases you would think they would put more of a premium?

 

Any sociologist care to take a stab at why this might be happening? Is this a common trend and is it fading or increasing?

 

Straight guys like so spread their seed... As much as I agree with what you posted one thing is getting laid or dating but when it comes to getting serious or considering someone as a potential mother of your kids most guys do care about ethnicity.

 

I'm amazed about so many Asian girls who only date white guys. One of my nephews loved dating girls of that background because they treated a men in a proper way, they didn't fuck around with other guys and they had tight pussies but refused to marry any of them because he wanted his kids to be white because "white is beautiful". I'm just repeating what HE said.

[Guest]

...I do think that racism in the gay community is a big problem.

 

From the article linked in your post:

“Please spread my call for co-plaintiffs to all your gay Asian men in your life that has been offended, humiliated, degraded and dehumanized by Grindr allowing gay white men to write in their profiles ‘No Asians,’ ‘Not interested in Asians,’ or ‘I don’t find Asians attractive,’” Keodora wrote in a tweet. “I’m suing Grindr for being a breeding ground that perpetuates racism against gay Asian [men].”

I find the idea of labeling someone "racist" because of their sexual desires objectionable. Just because you don't want to have sex with a certain group of people doesn't mean you feel those people are inferior. There are lots of people that I wouldn't want to pursue for sexual activity: women, children, senior citizens, obese men, bald men, and, generally, gingers. That doesn't mean I harbor a hatred for any of these groups of people. I have somewhat of a preference for honey or caramel colored skin and darker hair, so I might show somewhat of a preference for Latin or mixed-race men, but that's not because I find them generally superior as a race or people. It's just what'll get me off the easiest. I guess in this line-up, I'd tend to prefer #7-9 from the left in terms of skin tone. But a nice body or face can make up for a lot. If there's a killer body or face, I can even occasionally like bald men or gingers.

http://thumbs.modthesims2.com/img/8/7/7/4/0/3/1/MTS_Kitty25939-1714329-BodySwatches-CoolOfficial.jpeg

[studchaser]

I don't believe there is any difference between gay and straight men's preferences, whether looking to fuck or looking to date.

I find the OP not credible.

 

Hi Et. I am always open to hearing different perspectives. Please contribute your viewpoint on why you think this is not a credible topic to approach.

[marylander1940]

[Monarchy79]

This makes sense. For Straight men, the priority is getting pussy. Opening up to various ethnicities increases their chances of getting laid, since not all women are easy... it’s a numbers game for them.

 

For gay men however, especially in larger gay metropolises, the options/opportunities are in abundance, and leaves them more room to be a picky, prejudicial, and unreasonable as possible.

 

However, I don’t particulary judge guys for their preferences, I’m not bothered s by not being someone’s “type”, because of my race, body, etc.

 

This is just sex, not employment, housing, banking, or voting....

as long as I’m not discriminated based on those factors, I could give a shit about someone's racial sex preferences.

[Monarchy79]

Straight guys like so spread their seed... As much as I agree with what you posted one thing is getting laid or dating but when it comes to getting serious or considering someone as a potential mother of your kids most guys do care about ethnicity.

 

I'm amazed about so many Asian girls who only date white guys. One of my nephews loved dating girls of that background because they treated a men in a proper way, they didn't fuck around with other guys and they had tight pussies but refused to marry any of them because he wanted his kids to be white because "white is beautiful". I'm just repeating what HE said.

 

Why are you shocked about Asian girls preferring white men? Gay Asian men are the same way.

 

Hence, why Asian gay men have persecuted white gays for their

 

“No asian”, posts on their dating profiles.

 

Here’s my thing:

If you’re a white guy and you prefer white guys.... then it’s all good. You’re white and you are attracted to your own likeness.

 

What cracks me up are gay blacks, Asians, Latinos and others who shame white guys for liking only white guys, when they don’t even like the guys of their OWN race. It’s flat out hiporcisy.

[marylander1940]

Why are you shocked about Asian girls preferring white men? Gay Asian men are the same way.

 

Hence, why Asian gay men have persecuted white gays for their

 

“No asian”, posts on their dating profiles.

 

Here’s my thing:

If you’re a white guy and you prefer white guys.... then it’s all good. You’re white and you are attracted to your own likeness.

 

What cracks me up are gay blacks, Asians, Latinos and others who shame white guys for liking only white guys, when they don’t even like the guys of their OWN race. It’s flat out hiporcisy.

 

You have a few valid points but considering how touchy this subject is I would have expressed them in a softer way.

 

I think the standard of beauty has been greatly influenced by culture and media. "Persons of color" selected to represent “beauty” tend to be lighter skinned. Fortunately voluptuous lips more commonly found on blacks have been accepted in the last decades as something beautiful. It wasn't the case in the 50's or 60's when thin lips were considered sexier. Also most models are "whitewashed"

 

[+ sniper]

Straight guys like so spread their seed... As much as I agree with what you posted one thing is getting laid or dating but when it comes to getting serious or considering someone as a potential mother of your kids most guys do care about ethnicity.

 

I'm amazed about so many Asian girls who only date white guys. One of my nephews loved dating girls of that background because they treated a men in a proper way, they didn't fuck around with other guys and they had tight pussies but refused to marry any of them because he wanted his kids to be white because "white is beautiful". I'm just repeating what HE said.

 

A lot of Asian cultures aren't terribly egalitarian wrt the sexes,while American culture at least is moving more in that direction. So there's some room for American men and Asian women to be in a relationship where both feel like they are getting a "better deal" than dating their own race. Each has to do less for the other person than they would for one of their own race.

(EG Asian woman is going from a 90-10 expected split of "work" to 70-30 and that feels like a win, white guy is going from 50/50 to 30/70 and that's a win for him. Numbers completely made up and just for illustration purposes).

[Bearman]

 

People are so quick to vilify the white person attracted to other whites, but when other race people wouldn't consider dating anybody other than whites or even their own race, nothing is said. Interesting video about Kevin and I wish him well and think he's on the right track now. But Keven doesn't mention if he himself ever considered looking for other Asians, Asian-Americans (like himself), South-East Asians, Pacific Islanders, Hispanics, Mixed-Race, Mulatas, Blacks or women of any other race mixture or ethnicity! Kevin himself seems to be only attracted to white women and hurt when rejected by them. I doubt the video would have ever been made if it was Kevin who was doing the rejecting of other-race women he didn't find attractive. Yet whites are the racists!

 

And as far as the gay "community", I do see a lot of guys that have their "types". Maybe it's because I've lived in large city's with a diverse GLBT community that I've come across this? Haven't we all heard the terms I personally find distasteful: Rice Queen, Bean Queen, Spade Queen, Bagel Queen, and I don't know it there's a "Hummus or Falafel Queen" yet but we've all heard them mentioned with a snicker. These are white gay men that prefer men of these different races and ethnicities. Should I be offended because they aren't attracted to a middle-aged, obese, hairy "white" (the jury's still out) man with a small dick to boot?! Please, let people like who they like without labeling them as "racist" just because they don't like us back!

Edited April 29, 2019 by Bearman

[marylander1940]

People are so quick to vilify the white person attracted to other whites, but when other race people wouldn't consider dating anybody other than whites or even their own race, nothing is said. Interesting video about Kevin and I wish him well and think he's on the right track now. But Keven doesn't mention if he himself ever considered looking for other Asians, Asian-Americans (like himself), South-East Asians, Pacific Islanders, Hispanics, Mixed-Race, Mulatas, Blacks or women of any other race mixture or ethnicity! Kevin himself seems to be only attracted to white women and hurt when rejected by them. I doubt the video would have ever been made if it was Kevin who was doing the rejecting of other-race women he didn't find attractive. Yet whites are the racists!

 

And as far as the gay "community", I do see a lot of guys that have their "types". Maybe it's because I've lived in large city's with a diverse GLBT community that I've come across this? Haven't we all heard the terms I personally find distasteful: Rice Queen, Bean Queen, Spade Queen, Bagel Queen, and I don't know it there's a "Hummus or Falafel Queen" yet but we've all heard them mentioned with a snicker. These are white gay men that prefer men of these different races and ethnicities. Should I be offended because they aren't attracted to a middle-aged, obese, hairy "white" (the jury is still out) man with a small dick to boot?! Please, let people like who they like without labeling them as "racist" just because they don't like us back!

 

Good point just like in post #21.