Canceling due to sickness

[kaboom35]

I am putting this out there because I would love advice and maybe educate me if I did something wrong. I set up an appointment last week with a visiting escort. It seemed to be a great match and I was looking forward to the meet. The day before our meeting I woke up with a nasty sore throat. He messaged me to talk on the phone to discuss the details (as I had to book a room since neither of us could host). I stalled replying to him hopefully to see if my throat would get better. After several hours I had to tell him that I had a bad sore throat and probably getting sick regretfully couldn’t keep our appointment for the next day.

 

He did not take my canceling very well. He went off on a tangent about people flaking on him and using choice words. He said that he “gets that I’m sick” but that he’s running a business and depends on people keeping their appointments. I do see where he’s coming from but would any escort expect a client to go through with a session if they are sick? It turned out the following day I had a full blown head cold and never would have been able to be intimate with anyone. I sent a text apologizing but it was a situation that was out of my hands. He didn’t respond. Unfortunately I really liked this guy but I guess it’s obvious a meeting with him will never take place if he sees me text him again.

 

Would love any feedback about this situation.

[big-n-tall]

I think the only thing you did wrong is stall in responding. He may have thought you were trying to avoid him by not answering within a given period. When you finally did, he may have had an attitude. But that’s just speculation.

 

The moment you felt ill and he wanted to talk you should have... and said something then and there.

 

I’ve had escorts cancel on me because they were sick and vice versa. They even sent pics to verify. Lol! When I wasn’t feeling up to speed I’ve always told them as far in advance as I could. I still see those guys.

 

Other than not being upfront immediately I think you handled it as best you could. The escort sounded a bit defensive because of others flaking on him. That’s beyond your control.

 

If you really want to see this guy in the future, offer up some compensation (not the full rate... I don’t think) to make amends. If he bites, then the opportunity is there for future get togethers. Food for thought.

[kaboom35]

Yea I actually did offer to show him a picture of the back of my throat! He declined. Lol.

 

??‍♂️

[+ g56whiz]

The guy is an idiot (or worse).

 

Same scenario. Went into an appointment with a slightly scratchy throat informing my partner on arrival. It had developed an hour or two earlier. No problem he said. Had a great session! Love My throat was fine by the following morning (although my But was a bit tender). Several weeks later I get an obscenity laced call from the guy blaming me for two weeks of income he lost due to strept throat. I guess the apparent status of his immune system didn’t matter.

[inthepit3]

Canceling last minute (within 2 hours of appointment) is bad form, but canceling the day before should be fine. He shouldn't have responded rudely in this scenario.

[+ StLouisOct]

Canceling last minute (within 2 hours of appointment) is bad form, but canceling the day before should be fine. He shouldn't have responded rudely in this scenario.

I agree. A day’s notice should be sufficient. I do agree though that once you a sore throat is apparent one shouldn’t stall. I’ve cancelled once or twice because I knew I was sick and didn’t want to put the escort at risk. There’s always a chance your health will improve (but unlikely in your scenario) but your escort is in business and it’s unfair to put him at risk.

[jawjateck]

Cut yourself some slack. When we're sick, we tend not to think as clearly as we otherwise would. You were hoping to improve and instead the opposite happened. We're just not destined to meet some guys no matter how much we would like to do so. Feel better. Happy hunting!

[+ nycman]

My general rule is greater than 24 hours....no problem.

 

Less than 24 hours....I pay for one hour.

 

A few things we don’t know and that may help us advise you better......

He was a “visiting” escort...was he visiting at your request....or was

he coming to town and you booked time with him?

 

How much time did you book?

 

You can easily see that cancelling a one hour appointment 36 hours

in advance with a guy who’s passing through town anyways....is

dramatically different than cancelling 8 hours before a 3 day

weekend appointment with a guy who flew into town just to

see you.

 

I suspect the former is closer to the truth...but we don’t know that yet.

[+ WilliamM]

Occasionally both sides are correct.

 

Those are the times that really frustrate me as well. Note to self: move on.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

You were up-front about it and that's all we can ask. The worst is when people push through, get sicker and then usually get everyone they come in contact with sick as well. That's just selfish.

 

Unless the guy was losing long-term gig kind of money, I don't see why he handled it that way: There's a certain amount of shrink you have to accept working in this industry.

[Rudynate]

You were up-front about it and that's all we can ask. The worst is when people push through, get sicker and then usually get everyone they come in contact with sick as well. That's just selfish.

 

Unless the guy was losing long-term gig kind of money, I don't see why he handled it that way: There's a certain amount of shrink you have to accept working in this industry.

 

 

One time, I booked weeks in advance. Probably 3 weeks before the appointment, I came down with a bad cold. Usually, when I get a bad cold like that, I'm down with it for weeks. I thought about it for a couple of days, then, knowing my history, decided that the only thing to do was cancel. This was 2-3 weeks before the appointment. The escort was very snotty about it. I've often been tempted to reveal his name on this forum, but so far have taken the high road, just like Michelle says to do.

[+ Charlie]

This kind of thing happens, and it is hard for either side to know whether it is legitimate if it is a first time meeting. Years ago when visiting NYC, I made an afternoon appointment with a well known escort, but woke up that morning with a terrible sore throat that I suspected might develop into a fullblown headcold. I called him at 9am to let him know why I had to cancel, and said I would re-schedule at some time in the future. He became angry, and blocked all further calls from me, not only that day but for weeks afterwards. I decided that maybe I had inadvertently dodged an unsatisfactory hire, and gave up trying to re-schedule. (This site didn't exist in those days, so I couldn't discuss it here.)

[kaboom35]

For the record he was visiting my city on his own and I booked two hours with him. He was not coming to the city solely to meet with me.

[+ FrankR]

For the record he was visiting my city on his own and I booked two hours with him. He was not coming to the city solely to meet with me.

 

Speaking as a client, I apply the same rule as @nycman

My general rule is greater than 24 hours....no problem.

 

Less than 24 hours....I pay for one hour.

Edited January 23, 2019 by FrankR

[Chuckball]

I think he problem arises with first time appointments. I've cancelled with my regular escort for sickness and he has cancelled on me because he was ill. Because we know each other, we trust one another. While a new escort may feel put out because the trust between the parties has not developed. I still think alerting the escort of the problem is the right thing to do. If he goes ahead and later loses days of work, he has no one to blame but himself.

[marylander1940]

I am putting this out there because I would love advice and maybe educate me if I did something wrong. I set up an appointment last week with a visiting escort. It seemed to be a great match and I was looking forward to the meet. The day before our meeting I woke up with a nasty sore throat. He messaged me to talk on the phone to discuss the details (as I had to book a room since neither of us could host). I stalled replying to him hopefully to see if my throat would get better. After several hours I had to tell him that I had a bad sore throat and probably getting sick regretfully couldn’t keep our appointment for the next day.

 

He did not take my canceling very well. He went off on a tangent about people flaking on him and using choice words. He said that he “gets that I’m sick” but that he’s running a business and depends on people keeping their appointments. I do see where he’s coming from but would any escort expect a client to go through with a session if they are sick? It turned out the following day I had a full blown head cold and never would have been able to be intimate with anyone. I sent a text apologizing but it was a situation that was out of my hands. He didn’t respond. Unfortunately I really liked this guy but I guess it’s obvious a meeting with him will never take place if he sees me text him again.

 

Would love any feedback about this situation.

 

 

You have to put yourself in his place and how many times per month something like this happens to him and all the number of excuses he's been told in his career.

 

Just send him a cancellation fee to his PayPal account, that's all.

[kaboom35]

You have to put yourself in his place and how many times per month something like this happens to him and all the number of excuses he's been told in his career.

 

Just send him a cancellation fee to his PayPal account, that's all.

 

I don’t send cancellation fees. I canceled due to sickness and gave him 24 hour notice. He said he runs a business. If I had a hair cut appointment or dentist appointment and canceled in 24 hours I would not be charged.

 

I’m over this and content I didn’t do anything wrong. Thanks for the input everyone!

[marylander1940]

I don’t send cancellation fees. I canceled due to sickness and gave him 24 hour notice. He said he runs a business. If I had a hair cut appointment or dentist appointment and canceled in 24 hours I would not be charged.

 

I’m over this and content I didn’t do anything wrong. Thanks for the input everyone!

 

I'm sorry but the good ones pay for the bad apples now that flakiness has taken over. He paid for a flight and hotel with certain expectations, can you imagine how many guys teased him?

 

Some folks on here even pay the full amount of the appointment if they cancel, I wonder where are they now.

 

I'm glad to hear you're over this.

[Rhode454]

I don't think you have done anything wrong here. The escort was over reacting. 5 stars for you.

[+ WilliamM]

You have to put yourself in his place and how many times per month something like this happens to him and all the number of excuses he's been told in his career.

 

Just send him a cancellation fee to his PayPal account, that's all.

 

Perhaps you can put yourself in my place when the gentleman arrived with gifts and flowers for a party he was attending later that evening.

 

Cancelled appointment occur, for good reason of no reason. I understand that escorting is far from easy money.

 

Sorry I would never pay for an appointment I cancelled. Never.

[kaboom35]

I'm sorry but the good ones pay for the bad apples now that flakiness has taken over. He paid for a flight and hotel with certain expectations, can you imagine how many guys teased him?

 

Some folks on here even pay the full amount of the appointment if they cancel, I wonder where are they now.

 

I'm glad to hear you're over this.

 

Negative. He was coming to town on his own dime for a family event. Not for me. I was going to pay for the hotel.

[marylander1940]

Negative. He was coming to town on his own dime for a family event. Not for me. I was going to pay for the hotel.

 

I never said you flew him...

 

Did you pay for the hotel?

[+ WilliamM]

Negative. He was coming to town on his own dime for a family event. Not for me. I was going to pay for the hotel.

 

I can not explain @marylander1940's position on paying for cancelled appointments.

 

The same argument may have been made by others. If so, I do not remember. And I have posted here longer than Marylander1940

[marylander1940]

I can not explain @marylander1940's position on paying for cancelled appointments.

 

The same argument may have been made by others. If so, I do not remember. And I have posted here longer than Marylander1940

 

You've been on here 1 year longer than me, that's not much...

 

I've read about guys sending cancellations fees and even paying in full plenty of times!

 

Here you have, thank God I found it searching the word "bragging"

 

So... I'm one of the guys who pays the negotiated fee when I have to cancel on short notice. Not bragging about it, nor do I see it as an act of generosity. As a consultant I sell my time too, so for me this is a matter of respect. And karma -- I do onto others as I hope they'd do onto me and others.

 

What goes around comes around. My schedule can hit the skids if I miss a plane or have a more than anticipated time-c0nsuming client. As a practical matter, it does help create some trust and willingness of the part of the escort to accommodate me in the future. Twice I've had guys decline the offer for payment because they appreciated the gesture, and then change their schedules for me. Doesn't always happen, but feels good when it does.

 

I have not shown up only once in the past year and I sent the escort $200. I was on my way and daughter had a seizure. I had to go home. I on the other hand have been flaked by 5 escorts on the past 6 months. I mean like I am there after a 30 or 40min drive sometimes at 5pm in Boston on Friday after paying $20 for parking then I am flaked on. I do not think there is any easy answer.

[+ WilliamM]

@marylander1940, I posted escort reviews here beginning in 2000.

 

I signed the reviews with my then street address so that the escort agency, Premier, could identify me.