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Ever been a best man?

purplekow

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

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I have been asked to be a best man at a wedding on three occasions. Twice I declined suggesting that there was a better choice and on one occasion I did it.

When I got married, I did not have a best man and I had my sister sign as a witness though the wedding and reception were quite elaborate, that details were not totally traditional.

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Nvr2Thick Grand Master

Nvr2Thick

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https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/the-ultimate-best-man-duties-checklist

 

One of my brothers selected all three brothers to be "co-best men." The ceremony was informal, the bachelor party was simple. We each gave drunken best man toasts during the reception held at the bride and groom's house. I crashed at their house, drove them to the airport for the honeymoon, and returned his tux.

 

Another of my brothers designated me as best man, at a Catholic wedding. I had to stand by him (and kneel, and stand, and kneel, and stand...) through the ceremony. I covered about 50% of the duties described in the article linked above, including dragging a couple of immature cousins from the bride's side to tux rentals as groomsmen, and footing that bill. I handled all the payments, donations, and tips for the church and reception. The bride was adamant that there be no bachelor party, and my brother was fine with that. The most difficult duty for me was the dance with the maid of honor, but I handled that one by tipping the DJ and instructing him to transition quickly to "let's get everyone on the dance floor." I dreaded the toast, but I planned and practiced. My toast included a prop -- an actual toaster and toasted bread, and it was a huge hit.

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Jaguar1 Contributor

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Four times--twice for fraternity brothers and twice for good friends--all four highly enjoyable experiences. One of the grooms and I, however, closed an Irish pub the night before the wedding and had swallowed many aspirin caplets the day of the wedding.

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g56whiz Grand Master

+ g56whiz

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Three times. The first was for a fellow GI in France marrying a WAC medic. Two ceremonies: a civil ceremony in the mayors office that consisted of endless signing of many copies of some sort of marriage contract. I was fighting diarrhea and nearly soiled myself. Next day was a small chapel service on base. Reception consisted of a nice dinner in a local restaurant. They had no time for a honeymoon so my wedding gift was first night and nice hotel on the river. I went out and checked them and delivered champagne and flowers for the room. I took the key and gave it to the groom at the restaurant. He was sure just how much to trust me. The said they collapsed in laughter when they unlocked the door. Champagne and flowers were in place in a lovely room - with twin beds.

 

The other two were for the same guy his second and third marriages. The first time I was only an usher. The last was a very small affair in Savannah during Hurricane Floyd. I got there but the groom’s family didn’t. They’re still

married.

 

I also sang at the first and third weddings of my first college roommate. We remained friends for the next 47 years. I miss him.

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

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Four times--twice for fraternity brothers and twice for good friends--all four highly enjoyable experiences. One of the grooms and I, however, closed an Irish pub the night before the wedding and had swallowed many aspirin caplets the day of the wedding.

I was expecting a bigger payoff after: "One of the grooms and I, however, closed an Irish pub the night before the wedding and had swallowed......". Once again proving life is not a porn movie.

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

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No one else had declined? I thought declining was somewhat unusual but I was expecting there to be some others. Just for completeness sake, the first time I said no was because I did not think the marriage was right and I was asked via a Christmas card. The marriage lasted less than 3 months. The second time, I felt that he should ask his brother in law and I told him so. The brother in law was honored and he did a great job. I was an usher. I did not foresee us remaining close after his marriage and so it was that after he married we saw each other a few times and drifted apart. We were very good friends for a few years but I had moved away and foresaw it ending as it did.

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Gar1eth Grand Master

+ Gar1eth

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I was 15 when my brother-22- got married. We like each other but have never been each other's best friend. I would have liked to have been best man. But my recollections from my current (42 years past the wedding) vantage point are that I didn't expect to be my brother's best man and was not surprised by not being the best man.

 

About 6 years later my oldest male first cousin was getting married at 25. He picked my uncle (his father) as his best man. My cousin's younger brother (19) was p.o'ed royally about not being picked. He kept saying things like "stupidest thing I ever heard -having your father for your best man."

 

My part of the family was having a discussion about this-joking about my younger cousin's attitude. My brother just happened to say, "Well Gman didn't mind not being my best man." I replied, "Well a little, but I knew I was too young." My brother looked at my quite surprised as I had never said anything.

 

The only chance I might have had after my brother was my best friend from high school. But I probably wouldn't have been as he had 3 brothers-one a year or two older, one a year younger , and one about 4 years younger. Besides his plethora of brothers, he was LDS and was married in their temple in Salt Lake City. So since non-LDSers aren't allowed into the temple, I never stood a chance.

 

My other best friend from high school turned out to be gay. But I didn't actually know that until I was in my 40's although I had suspected since my 20's. We grew out of touch. Plus he died back in 2009 or so without, as far as I know, any partners. So that was probably my last chance.

 

Gman

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Gar1eth Grand Master

+ Gar1eth

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Four times--twice for fraternity brothers and twice for good friends--all four highly enjoyable experiences. One of the grooms and I, however, closed an Irish pub the night before the wedding and had swallowed many aspirin caplets the day of the wedding.

 

Pardon me for the interruption. But good story. One of my grad school roommates was engaged to be married. I was really looking forward to his bachelor party in Houston. His bachelor party was 2 nights before the wedding.

 

It turned out I couldn't go as my oldest cousin's oldest child was having his bar mitzvah that weekend in Dallas. I had to go to the bar mitzvah -and I wanted to. But if I hadn't wanted to go, I would have been disowned by my mother. But it was still disappointing not to be able to go to the bachelor party.

 

So I get back from the bar mitzvah. At some point I talk with Dan (the groom). It might have been after the honeymoon. Looking at the wedding pictures one day, I notice that Dan has a subconjunctival hemorrhage in one eye extending outward from the corner. I ask him what happened. He said he had had so much to drink at the bachelor party that he became violently ill. While praying to the porcelain g-d, he had upchucked so violently that he tore blood vessels in his eye. I understand his fiancée-wife was furious when she saw his red eye!! :p

 

Gman

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samhexum Grand Master

samhexum

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Ever been a best man?

I should have declined.

I was at my brother's wedding.

Same here.

My brother selected his best friend and then very gingerly started explaining why he didn't select me. I stopped him and said "you made the right choice" which was better than saying what was on my mind, i.e. "Oh, thank God!"

I’ve been there a number of times. If you do it right, it is actually a lot of work...

I was 15 when my brother-22- got married.

 

An email about a bachelor party sent to the wrong person has led to an Arizona man taking a trip to a Vermont ski resort to attend the party of someone he doesn’t know this weekend.

 

William Novak of Phoenix got the email on Jan. 7 about the ski weekend for Angelo. He didn’t know the person but the party with its over-the-top invitation sounded like a good time so he emailed back as a joke to say he was in. Novak, 35, about the same age as the others invited, expected to get no response or one recognizing his humor. Instead, the party-goers from New Jersey and New York agreed that Novak should join the fun.

 

“When they wrote back and they were like ‘if you’re serious, we’re serious, get here’ I was blown away. I just started cracking up laughing. I was like ‘oh my gosh, these guy seem insane,'” he said.

 

Likewise, Angelo Onello’s brother, who sent the email, appreciated his humor.

 

“It started as a joke and ended up being probably a good mistake,” said Devin Onello, who said he and Novak have hit it off ever since.

 

Novak, a father of a 10-month-old who with his wife has spent much of their savings on renovating their old house, had a hard time rationalizing spending $750 on airfare, ski rentals and lift passes so he started a GoFundMe page with the heading, “Help me go the bachelor party of a stranger.” By the time he and his family had eaten dinner that day, his trip was funded.

 

He’s only skied once — at age 14 on a church trip — but said he’s up for the adventure.

 

The party organizers say the weekend will be tough on his liver. Novak told them he’s not much of a drinker, which they said was OK because he could be the designated driver. He offered to bring his Nintendo switch to play but they said Angelo is not much of a video game player. As a spoof he also offered to bring Soduko puzzles, which they took him up on.

 

Others have also offered to pitch in, with one company offering Hawaiian shirts for the occasion, a Vermont bar providing locally made beer, and a tattoo artist offering to make matching tattoos, which Novak says he declined.

 

When Novak learned that Angelo and his fiance are expecting a baby, a woman in Mesa, Arizona, where Novak works, made a baby blanket. His neighborhood in Phoenix is also sending a gift bag of locally made items.

 

Novak plans to fly into Boston and rent a car and drive to Okemo on Friday. He’s changed his route so he can pick up the beer in Brattleboro on the way.

 

“I’m just the sort of person who tries to be open to things,” he said.

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