jtwalker

I suspect you need to let go of the idea that you are undesirable.  Fat, skinny, old, young, short, tall… there is someone for everyone.
Even on Grindr you’ll come across younger guys that are looking for 50’s and 60’s or very large guys.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  While societal norms make it seem like 25, tan, tall, with abs is the ideal… I don’t care for facial hair which is also in right now.
Don’t fall into the trap of believing that only guys that are x get laid.
In fact, I invite you to play a game with me.  While you are walking around, keep track of how many guys you’re attracted to.  For me, it’s like a 1:10 ratio.  However, most of them are regularly getting laid by someone who is attracted to them.
We need to let go of the notion that you have to be perfect to find any sort of love.  

It's hard to parse what your post is trying to say, but it sounds like you have multiple instances of cancelling with short notice.  So why even book in advance, rather than waiting til you know you're actually free?  If you want to reply "because my time is limited and I want to be sure that he'll be available when I might be" I'd ask why the provider isn't afforded the same consideration.
Kevin Slater

I use a burner phone.  I’m not trying to hide, but I like anonymity when dealing with strangers.
On occasion I’ve had someone reach out, but I never see it in time and don’t really care one way or the other.
I imagine that unexpected texts would get some married guys in trouble.  Probably not the best idea.

I respect that some don't want to kiss. I won't hire them though. Kissing is an essential part of the experience for me.
 
 

I have no problem if kissing is not included in the list of offerings up front, I can do without, but if it's listed, I expect it to be hot and enthusiastic.

Just throwing this out there:
Guys advertising on Rent Masseur and not on Rentmen typically do NOT necessarily want it publically known that they offer sexual services ..so please be discreet when discussing a masseur and any interactions that went beyond massage. You may be compromising their business.
 

I concur I had a great time with him on my last visit to SF. Very nice comfortable apartment as well 

Every time I have paid up front, I have regretted it.

I really enjoyed my time with https://rentmasseur.com/Bodywhisperer

I really enjoyed my time with https://rentmasseur.com/Bodywhisperer

Nothing worse than a provider that can't make eye contact and stays 5 feet away upon arrival while asking for money up front.

My job for the time that we are together is to simply focus all of my attention and energy on my client, and to do my best to be in tune with him.    When I see that a client is timid or shy or uncertain, I reassure him that I won't do anything that he doesn't want, and ask him to let me know what works and what does not.    Communication and consent are key.      I neither want to do soemthing that makes a client uncomfortable, nor do I want a client to leave wishing that I had done more.

Nothing worse than a provider that can't make eye contact and stays 5 feet away upon arrival while asking for money up front.

When I walk in the door if a new provider and he starts with a friendly hug and huge kiss it’s just the best kind of greeting

Blow jobs don’t always need to result in a guy cumming. I recommend that you focus less on that, and focus on making it part of a special experience. I love making a guy feel good by sucking his cock and balls, but it’s often just part of foreplay. We move on from there to rimming and massages and nipple sucking…and fucking. 😈

I never cared for dildos.  The first time I enjoyed anything was an aneros.  From there, I found that lube was my best friend.  The initial penetration is the hardest / most painful for me.  Once he is in, he can go crazy and I'll enjoy every second of it.  Real penises flex and fit better than any dildo and a seasoned top knows how to make it fit for mutual enjoyment.

Legal is becoming a fuzzy matter in the US as various institutions are over-burdened and cherry-pick which laws they will enforce based on local political preferences.  SF is a prime example of this where one could argue that shoplifting is not illegal in that it is not currently enforced.

Facial recognition scanners don't work with 2D photos.

The nuance of touch.
It was often part of meeting at a bar, with a handshake that sent and received clues about the man. It never told you how big his dick was, whether he was top or bottom or vers or like to be choked…
Touch. If a provider is unable to use it well for simple reassurance, as a kind of fraternal connection before the eroticism… I would recommend he find other work.  
 

I'm anxious if I'm meeting someone for the first time.  One kiss though and it disappears.

Matt Anthony is one of my favorites.    https://rent.men/MattAnthony We’ve met several times and he’s an intelligent, attentive, well endowed pro. 

There may be some men making huge money on Only Fans, but people get bored and move on.  Todays hot sausage is tomorrows dog meat.  To my mind, what keeps escorts doing well is the personal interactions and the relationship they build with a client.  I may be naive about this, but as there is always someone hotter, younger, sexier, and more imaginative, OF stars will come and go.  Whereas escorts can age gracefully with their clients.  Escorts I saw ten years ago are still younger and hotter than I am and they know what I like and for me at this point that is a major plus.   While there may be younger, hotter and sexier, it is not worth it to me to start teaching them what does it for me.  

I've been seeing an uptick in newbies as well.  I met a couple and at this point have decided to assume that all newbies are either the local pimps new hires (I hope they are hired), cops, scam artists, or just flat out lame.  If I want to try out someone without any reviews, I'll go to a bar or use Grindr.  When I hire, I'm looking for a pro that can spoil me.

Oddly, sometimes younger providers new in the business are a little more anxious than I ever am. I’m good at putting them at ease. I always offer them a drink and we sit on the sofa and have a nice little chat before I suggest “shall we go upstairs?”. That’s generally the optimal approach for me. I think they appreciate my self-confidence and, I must say, affability.

And I thought I was the only one. A few years ago, for a special occasion, I hired perhaps the hottest escort ever. To my surprise, after we began our encounter, nervousness and anxiety appeared out of nowhere. Part of me was experiencing an incredible amount of being “turned on” and another part was looking for the door. The astute, handsome man picked up on it, and slowed things way down and got me to relax and breathe. The “party” eventually resumed and it was a memorable experience, for sure. But ever since then, for whatever reason, I still have to power through some jitters.