KensingtonHomo

This is a rationalization. To the extent there is a "human nature" it is one of cooperation and community, which has allowed us to be the most powerful species on the planet. Your sense of history is truncated. Before agriculture, most humans lived in bands of hunter-gatherers, where cooperation was the primary factor in their survival. It's only once you get a surplus that SOME people take advantage of it to exploit others. And we also have a concurrent history of people resisting that exploitation. To this day, some tribes live this way without hierarchy or oppression.

So you're not upset that I'm scolding you. You're upset that you never lived your fantasy of being a rent boy because you'd have nicer stuff? Yes, 95 percent of people are exploited to some extent under capitalism. But we're not talking about people who have chosen to be escorts. This thread is about people who are in a vulnerable position being exploited. It's predatory and immoral.

Honestly, there's a lot o really predatory behavior in this thread. None of this is due to human nature but the gross version of neoliberal capitalism we live under. People with greater financial means pressuring poor people into performing any kind of labor is exploitation. This is the kind of behavior that LibsofTikTok and other anti-gay forces use to make us look bad. Why are you helping them? JFC

Your tone isn't the issue. You booked a three-hour session with someone and canceled with very little notice. No one who is respectful of providers will give you an out for what is egregious behavior. We saw a provider for a two-hour session earlier this week. He has a day job and wanted to stop home to shower before he came over. He texted when he was leaving, but the cab driver messed up the address and was about 20 minutes late, which he let us know. Once he arrived, we all had a great time, and he stayed the full two hours. Had we been running late, which we have, we could not have expected that, but with providers we know, we've also gotten the full time when their schedule permits.

I agree with this. His response will tell you what you need to know. Maybe keep in mind that COVID has been enormously disruptive and traumatizing to most people. His change in demeanor may have nothing do to with his status change but merely a coincidence. And be prepared to move on if his response makes you uncomfortable.

The Bate Coach is not the same guy as Dominus - though I agree with @pubic_assistance assessment of the latter. Coach is an Asian guy probably in his 30s, fit (but not as ripped as Dominus), with a cute face. He's a fun guy. We've been to a couple of events - going to a workshop tomorrow with Dominus - and they're fine. They could be great but an unfortunate aspect of gay male culture is 90% of guys take fucking too seriously. They stand off from each other, trying to look butch as possible. It can make events tedious. Like, Jesus, talk to each other. It's one thing to act this way in your teens and 20s, but these events mostly bring guys in their 30s to 50s.

I've seen him several times. He's a great guy, really fun in bed, and a great kisser. I had a bad self-image during one of our sessions, and he made me feel so much better.

I think Jamie and Benjamin are correct. Some providers are able to create a sense of intimacy very quickly. I think they’re probably extroverts who really like people. I’m similar and it matters in my line of work, which isn’t escorting. I’m sure some of it is learned but I don’t think people can fake that intimacy. And as @pubic_assistance mentioned the more you engage with a certain provider the more you’ll have a genuine relationship, which is friendly not romantic. My favorite providers have the sense of a fuck buddy. Like it’s not going to be romantic but you enjoy each other’s company and the sex is good.

Yeah. He thinks disagreeing with him and calling him out for being very nasty about providers is “bullying.” 🙄

That poster is always very negative about providers. I blocked him a while ago because he just makes the board miserable.

In my experience, these are among the kindest guys. I would also say that this feels correlated to whether or not the providers seem to enjoy their work. E.g. they really like people, they really enjoy sex, and they tend to have a lot of varied interests. For me, those include: Jonah Wheeler Dominus Mike Gaite NY Wolfman MrSensual on RentMasseur

Again, go over to the "Ask A Provider" section and see how many times these guys have been burned. Also, some people pay electronically so there's no envelope of cash to set aside. In that scenario, the provider is assuming a lot of the risk. There are also a ton of industries where people or companies require a deposit upfront to hold an appointment or start a project. The difference between most of those legal enterprises is that there is usually a contract or some way for them to claw back some of the promised funds. I do paid speaking engagements. And after having been burned by laying out money for travel and lodging, I now require contracts for everything and that the conference pay for travel and lodging upfront.

Yes. Sex workers get screwed over by clients all the time. In addition to not being paid, they get assaulted, raped, outed, etc. If you're going to engage with escorts, you should familiarize yourself with the dark side of the business. You don't have to make a deposit or pay in advance, but don't gaslight everyone by pretending escorts aren't dealing with risk.

I've been chatting with him and will probably see him. In texting, he seems like a very nice guy, who may be new to this.

No shade to @keroscenefire but I don't think you need to starve yourself to bottom. It really depends on how regular you are. I'm a morning pooper, and not into morning sex, so if I'm going to bottom in the afternoon or evening, I'll stop eating 2-3 hours before. And I douche very much how @pubic_assistance outlined above. I would also caution people against taking Imodium with any regularity. Binding up your GI tract is unhealthy, and if you have a virus or bacterial infection, Imodium can conceal that and lead to bad outcomes.

You can sort of see his face in the private photos. He’s quite cute. I met him without seeing his face and I was pleasantly surprised.

I would co-sign Dylan. I saw him when he was in NYC, and it was an amazing experience.

Is it "two twinks for the price of one?"

You win!

So true about the hair. I had an older boyfriend when I was 20, who was pretty hairy. He taught me to shower off the cum with cool to cold water since the hot water removes the seminal fluid faster and bunches up the sperm, leaving it tangle in your body hair.

That's kind of intense. I admit to only find cum hot when it's fresh. After it cools off, I find it pretty gross and want it off of me as quickly as possible.

They're not for me. I like kissing and oral.

It's conjecture but if this provider did experience the end of an important relationship, there's no timeline by which he has to be "over it." Our culture is really gross when it comes to refusing to honor people's feelings of loss and grief. Add to that that two years of some degree of social isolation, and currently living through unending mass deaths, and - yeah - maybe he needed some time.

I'm not aiming this specifically at your Jess, but there are usually hints as to whom you can share this kind of information with. The most important issue is whether or not people knowing you hire can impact your personal or financial well-being. I wouldn't tell anyone I work with or anyone adjacent to that. Like others here, I have a few close friends I share this info with, all of whom are very sex-positive and pro-sex work. The first item I would look for in someone to share this with is their views on sex work. If someone is not in the "sex work is work" category, I will not broach it. If they have sexual hang-ups, nope.

Occasionally with select friends, but we never go into details. I find younger people (millennials and younger) are way more open than Gen X or older.