JB_Studio38

You don’t have to make it make sense to me. I already know which feels better to me, and in my opinion: I feel better after a session with a client, than a “hookup”.
I just made a thread about it the other week. One of my hookups, he promised to cook breakfast, made it seem like we had so much chemistry: but then the next morning he was more interested in going to Costco and keeping it “quiet” for his roommate. On top of that, we didn’t even exchange numbers 🤦🏽‍♂️ But he was talking about his boyfriend in Michigan, so I figured he’d give it to me if he desired to. 
 
I did disclose my escort status to him, but he wasn’t interested in paying. But his body, dick and ass had me 😵‍💫 so I kinda just allowed myself to enjoy it. But afterwards, I kinda wish I hadn’t done it. And the very next day I had a client who gave me $500. So it’s like, I spent unnecessary “energy” on someone who didn’t care to keep in touch, but then got $$$ from a client who now wants to be a regular. 

I’m on a couple other “gay forums” that aren’t escort related, and the amount of topics that discuss “hookup culture” and how some struggle with it, is endless. 
 
Some people out there, don’t mind miscellaneous hookups. But for some people that’s all they want to bring to the table. That’s why sometimes I rather go out to a public place and meet someone where there’s at least some kind of “storyline” behind it, versus just being on apps or going to a bathhouse where there’s whole premise is just, “show me your dick”. 
 
And yes I’ll play for “without charge” every so often, but there has to be some sort of organic connection at play. It’s amazing how insulting some guys get when the topic of funds come up. What I don’t like about hookup culture is, people out here doing what escorts do for free…and just messing up the whole game.
 
Like I was about to fuck with a guy few months ago, at his hotel while he was visiting town. But then he’s like, “my partner doesn’t let me do sleepovers, and I’m going to dinner with coworkers.” I’m thinking to myself like, so I’m basically I’m going to provide free escort services, for nothing? I know married clients who don’t even treat me that shitty. 
 
I got dressed, and made my exit before it went any further 🚪 it’s not simply hooking up that’s the issue. It’s these open relationship dudes who come to town for business, expecting everyone to be okay giving them freebies. Then they get an attitude when someone has a little dignity for themselves. Like geez, even if you don’t pay me…at least show that I’m worth spending time with. 

In my case I wouldn’t request an Uber or Lyft because I take my own commute. But I can understand NYC being a different market. I also tend to stick with cities that are easier to get around.
Despite the differing opinions on here, I generally don’t have an issue arranging deposits. Before deposits, I’ve had times where someone may have to cancel en route to them for whatever reason, so it’s too much of a risk these days especially since my commute can be anywhere from half an hour to a few hours.

If you don’t like what I have to post, you don’t have to hang around. Like you being attracted to me or not, makes any difference. What do you look like? Easy to say when you don’t even have a pic up of yourself 🤣 Only a coward or a bitch would stoop to that level. And you been around since 2003 and making comments like that? You should know better 🤔 
 
Does it make you feel better about yourself now that you said it? For your own peace of mind, I hope so…now leave, please. 

As far as I know, they don’t exist outside of major metros. At least here in the U.S. I can see it in New York or San Fran but, most hotels don’t want to rent a room out for an hour and then not have it clean for a full night stay. So I probably wouldn’t save any money doing that anyway because they would likely charge the same as a good rate from Priceline or something. 

However I am familiar with DayUse hotels. The problem is, sometimes when I’m visiting a city, I need a place to stay anyway. And even if I’m staying with friends, sometimes I need the WHOLE day/night to myself before and after client lol. I’ve done dayuse a couple of times, but they aren’t offered in all cities and in order to do so, I need to be able to have a main place to stay at. 
 
The problem comes when, I’m not set up to host but some guys are just like, “can I come over NOW”. Like ummm, no. There was no expectation of an appointment. Just because my ad says “available now” does not mean “I’m hosting and you can come over now”. It’s just simply saying: I can be available to meet today, if we can agree on a time, rate and place. Doesn’t mean they can come over right now.

Perfect points, my dude 🫱🏾‍🫲🏻 

I’m surprised you never need to spend on hotels lol. I’ve been platinum or diamond tier with at-least 1 or 2 brands every year. However, my hotel nights have dropped a lot, because I try to stay with friends as much as I can when I travel. But the caveat to that, non of them allow me to host (nor would I really feel right about that) so I still have to plan hosting accordingly.
However, that’s also why I require deposits. Most clients don’t want to host, or don’t want to book a room. So the best compromise is doing a deposit. That’s why it disgusts me when guys on here, parade such stupid and ignorant rhetoric about never sending deposits. It’s like HELLO 🔔, all of us are having to also spend money upfront as well. From the very get go, we have to spend money to post on RentMen, with no assurance or timeline of when a client will book. 
I also assume by “streets”, you mean gay bars/events or hotel bars possibly. I wouldn’t feel right doing actual streets lol. 
 
 
 

That’s unfortunate, however I do feel the “gay society” has often sought masseurs over escorts in some cities. And it seems like the portrait of a well to do escort, who does it like the porn movies, doesn’t exist in many areas. It’s why I still keep up a RentMasseur profile along with my RM, although sometimes clients see me on both. 
 
However I do have 2 separate masseur/entertainer prices. I do cringe when I hear someone every so often, talk about so and so who does such and such for $80 including a massage. That’s just not sustainable for everyone, and the guys who do that usually doing this as a bonus on the side…and usually don’t travel outside of their neighborhood.
 
If they did, they’d quickly see how exhausting it is to play and massage for $80, 5 different guys a day…when they could just do $300/400 and make the same 😆 

I have an active thread on same day appointments, but my last response explains why it is not always productive: but it doesn’t mean I’m “upset” about it. However, some people ALWAYS expect a same day booking. Sometimes it’s the same ones as well. 
 
You’re coming from a place that is viewing the industry “like a Grindr profile”. It isn’t nor was it ever. Even when I first started around 2008, most all my best bookings were requested a day or 2 or longer ahead. I used to often run out for same day appointments, because I didn’t know better. I also used to accept guys asking for discounts, for same day appointments at that. Nowadays, I would never. It’s extra, not less. But having an attitude like, “sometimes I am, sometimes I’m not” isn’t going to put any value on it.
 
As for for deposits for incalls: being that I have to spend extra money to host sessions, typically in a hotel set up (I stopped offering bookings from home couple years ago) I do need a deposit for that. If they don’t show, I’m out of the money for it. 
 
Many people outside the industry think, “just do outcalls”. But they don’t understand that a large percentage of clients aren’t going to book a room solely for the purpose of a session. I just spent some time up north, and I had to host 4 clients, reserving accommodations each time. Many of them would rather send me a deposit (one even dropped the deposit off to me in cash…) than to book a hotel room for our time. 
 
It’s not over complicating by any means, it’s just years of experience has showed me what works, and what is stupid and foolish as all fuck. And couple years ago I booked a Sheraton Hotel for 2 different clients, SAME DAY NOTICE without a deposit: THEY BOTH flaked out on the same day. One even mocked me, saying: “I didn’t tell you to book a hotel room”. He tried to rebook for an outcall later on and flaked again, I was like…you can send the cancellation fee or I’ll come and get it personally myself 😆 
 
Way too many idiots and time-wasters ESPECIALLY in the Midwest, but they’re everywhere. I won’t go back to working without a deposit whether it’s host/travel or a combination of the 2.

Read the context:
“People are willing to hook up for free and with no phone number, it’s become super trashy🚮, and it’s unsafe.”
 
 
Exactly. And when I said trashy, I was referring to it in the way that people on these trashy apps normalize trading NUDE pics, but yet can’t trust someone with an exchanging a phone number. 
 
It’s not simply about free sex, it’s moreso the expectations some have. Not to mention, people on apps act so anti-escort but yet, they’re doing the same thing but with no screening and for free. 

Reminiscent of price is right, I wanted to make a similar question posed by @Rudynate
 

 
But I feel this way about the industry at times. Namely the few things that really get to me are:
1) Same day appointments: I understand being horny and sometimes it can be helpful. But majority of the time, same day appointments do not work. How can 2 men who don’t know nothing about each others schedule, location or availability get in the same room? I understand if it’s a regular who is accustomed to each other’s time schedule, but so many new clients try to book a same day visits. I usually have to wrap up plans to attend.
Ironically, those same clients are rarely ever available same day themselves…when I initiate it. So it’s usually better to not do them at all.
 
2) Hotels: I just spent over $200 in the last couple days on a hotel…and although the money was set aside for it already, I haven’t quite earned it back. People often ask me to host, but the days I set aside to host, people don’t always show up. 
 
3) Dismissive/annoying men: similar to the same day request brigade, it almost seems every other day/week…there’s some prick waiting to push a button. If you’re strong willed and use templates/auto reply on rentmen messenger etc, it’s a bit easier. But overall, I hate how some random can find their way onto my phone and act like a total ass: and kill my vibe. And it’s not always Timewasters either. Sometimes it’s clients too. Check yourself and make sure your tone isn’t cock, condescending or belittling towards escorts. 
 
4) Dead Cities/States: I’ve seen many cities that used to be good 10-15 years ago, now aren’t hitting much. Having RentMen as a main male escort site is not conducive. And it’s so many guys per city advertising. Some cities, I’m hardly even getting hits from RentMen at all. Even the cities with less ads aren’t always guaranteed to be busy, and like I said in #2: a DECENT non-motel 6 hotel in many areas are $100 a night minimum. I can’t wait around for 3-4 days paying that amount with nothing confirmed. And that’s why I ask for…
5) Deposits: I rarely book without them. Some clients expect us to magically pull money out of thin air (aka our own accounts/pockets) for lodging, hotels, commute, and all that’s involved: with no money upfront. That’s unfair and just not sensible in my view. It’s one thing if a guy is just like “come over to my studio/home”, but even when I used to offer that 24/7, a good portion still wouldn’t show up as anticipated. 
 
6) Hookup apps: I feel they continue to ruin the industry. I don’t feel they compete with clients, but it’s created a culture where people are expecting bare minimum. People are willing to hook up for free and with no phone number, it’s become super trashy 🚮, and it’s unsafe. If someone harms you on a hookup app and you have no phone number, good luck being found. The fact people are doing this, is reckless at best. 
 
All that said, is it worth it? I’d say it can be…but some days it doesn’t always feel like it. 
 

You don’t have to make it make sense to me. I already know which feels better to me, and in my opinion: I feel better after a session with a client, than a “hookup”.
I just made a thread about it the other week. One of my hookups, he promised to cook breakfast, made it seem like we had so much chemistry: but then the next morning he was more interested in going to Costco and keeping it “quiet” for his roommate. On top of that, we didn’t even exchange numbers 🤦🏽‍♂️ But he was talking about his boyfriend in Michigan, so I figured he’d give it to me if he desired to. 
 
I did disclose my escort status to him, but he wasn’t interested in paying. But his body, dick and ass had me 😵‍💫 so I kinda just allowed myself to enjoy it. But afterwards, I kinda wish I hadn’t done it. And the very next day I had a client who gave me $500. So it’s like, I spent unnecessary “energy” on someone who didn’t care to keep in touch, but then got $$$ from a client who now wants to be a regular. 

Reminiscent of price is right, I wanted to make a similar question posed by @Rudynate
 

 
But I feel this way about the industry at times. Namely the few things that really get to me are:
1) Same day appointments: I understand being horny and sometimes it can be helpful. But majority of the time, same day appointments do not work. How can 2 men who don’t know nothing about each others schedule, location or availability get in the same room? I understand if it’s a regular who is accustomed to each other’s time schedule, but so many new clients try to book a same day visits. I usually have to wrap up plans to attend.
Ironically, those same clients are rarely ever available same day themselves…when I initiate it. So it’s usually better to not do them at all.
 
2) Hotels: I just spent over $200 in the last couple days on a hotel…and although the money was set aside for it already, I haven’t quite earned it back. People often ask me to host, but the days I set aside to host, people don’t always show up. 
 
3) Dismissive/annoying men: similar to the same day request brigade, it almost seems every other day/week…there’s some prick waiting to push a button. If you’re strong willed and use templates/auto reply on rentmen messenger etc, it’s a bit easier. But overall, I hate how some random can find their way onto my phone and act like a total ass: and kill my vibe. And it’s not always Timewasters either. Sometimes it’s clients too. Check yourself and make sure your tone isn’t cock, condescending or belittling towards escorts. 
 
4) Dead Cities/States: I’ve seen many cities that used to be good 10-15 years ago, now aren’t hitting much. Having RentMen as a main male escort site is not conducive. And it’s so many guys per city advertising. Some cities, I’m hardly even getting hits from RentMen at all. Even the cities with less ads aren’t always guaranteed to be busy, and like I said in #2: a DECENT non-motel 6 hotel in many areas are $100 a night minimum. I can’t wait around for 3-4 days paying that amount with nothing confirmed. And that’s why I ask for…
5) Deposits: I rarely book without them. Some clients expect us to magically pull money out of thin air (aka our own accounts/pockets) for lodging, hotels, commute, and all that’s involved: with no money upfront. That’s unfair and just not sensible in my view. It’s one thing if a guy is just like “come over to my studio/home”, but even when I used to offer that 24/7, a good portion still wouldn’t show up as anticipated. 
 
6) Hookup apps: I feel they continue to ruin the industry. I don’t feel they compete with clients, but it’s created a culture where people are expecting bare minimum. People are willing to hook up for free and with no phone number, it’s become super trashy 🚮, and it’s unsafe. If someone harms you on a hookup app and you have no phone number, good luck being found. The fact people are doing this, is reckless at best. 
 
All that said, is it worth it? I’d say it can be…but some days it doesn’t always feel like it. 
 

No idea who you are referring to but, not sure that has anything to do with same day/available now appointments.
 
If and when you do have something relevant to say about that, you can continue. 
 

I much rather that be the case. But when some come saying straight up ASSinine things, just to be funny and try to hush someone up and detract from their message without even knowing the reality: it’s hard to keep it cordial.
 
At the same time I’m not really too phased about someone who actually leads themselves to believe this is true: ⬇️ 
 

Lol, that cracked me up. If you were an escort? Why not go ahead and be one, if you think you can do it better. What’s your age? You probably still have time…go ahead and try it out. Put a RentMen ad up, see how many inquires you sort thru to get your first client, and report back 😆
My 🔮 says you’re bluffing and projecting 😉
 
 

You don’t have to make it make sense to me. I already know which feels better to me, and in my opinion: I feel better after a session with a client, than a “hookup”.
I just made a thread about it the other week. One of my hookups, he promised to cook breakfast, made it seem like we had so much chemistry: but then the next morning he was more interested in going to Costco and keeping it “quiet” for his roommate. On top of that, we didn’t even exchange numbers 🤦🏽‍♂️ But he was talking about his boyfriend in Michigan, so I figured he’d give it to me if he desired to. 
 
I did disclose my escort status to him, but he wasn’t interested in paying. But his body, dick and ass had me 😵‍💫 so I kinda just allowed myself to enjoy it. But afterwards, I kinda wish I hadn’t done it. And the very next day I had a client who gave me $500. So it’s like, I spent unnecessary “energy” on someone who didn’t care to keep in touch, but then got $$$ from a client who now wants to be a regular. 

I’m sure this has been brought up before, but it always seems to be a new dimension to it each year. I been finding the same day meetups to be more common lately. I used to get emails asking about my travels in advance, now it seems mostly people texting the day of looking to meet. 
 
I have across all my ads that I prefer 24 hours notice. If I take on a same day meet, 2 hours notice is the minimum but: people don’t understand that if it takes an hour or 2 to confirm, that is then added to the amount of notice I need. For example: If someone texts me at 4 PM, but doesn’t complete confirming along with address and/or deposit until 5:30 p.m. (likely due to asking questions, breaks in texting, etc etc) I’m not going to meet them at 6 p.m. The amount of notice will start from the 5:30 that they confirm. Which could mean 7-7:30 IF I have nothing else going on at that moment.
But what happens? The person may not be willing to meet after such and such time. So wait: you wanted to catch me off guard and be available, BUT you’re also limited on time that you can meet. How does that work 🤔 For example, some people ask for same day appointments but then attach conditions to it like, “but I have to meet before 3 p.m. or 4 p.m. or 9 p.m. Well, if timing was so important, why try and do it at the last minute to begin with? Why not ping me the day before or atleast EARLIER in the day (I had one recently text me at 6 pm on a Friday asking to meet tonight…how many people do y'all know, that can be available at the last minute on a Friday evening?). When I suggested it would be 2 hours at least before I could be available, the plan fell thru. 
In regards to “available now”: I sincerely wish all sites removed that label and changed it to “available today”. It’s not that same day appointments are so bad, it’s moreso people expecting NOW. It’s not possible to stay ready for an appointment 24/7, especially if like me: you’re only used to seeing clients 2-4 times a week max. So when someone pops up asking to meet right away, I don’t know to expect that.
Part of me wants to do away with all same day appointments, but I can appreciate the unexpected earning (and a nice alternative to cumming 💦 , that doesn’t require going to a cruising bar or using a hookup app…which is tempting on days I don’t have clients) it can bring. They certainly come in handy, but I also don’t like cancelling what I have going on, to accommodate.
Sometimes same day isn’t a problem at all really. The problem is I find, once I agree to a same day appointment one time, there’s an expectation that I can do it ALL the time. And usually I’ll allow it once but the 2nd time they ask I’ll usually have to say no. It’s like: I’ve mentioned during our last visit the amount of effort it takes to do an appointment same day.
My Solution: I wish all same day/same night appointments would CONFIRM by 12 p.m. Why 12 p.m.? Well if I’m in a hotel, it gives me time to extend a day. Even if I’m not in a hotel, confirming by noon ensures I can make plans early enough that won’t interfere with friends or family. I just don’t want it to be confused with “all same day appointments must MEET by 12 pm”. No, it’s like a cutoff time for a utility/credit card bill: But instead have it to book by noon, for your appointment to be had that day. 

And to the ones who “don’t know my schedule/just had time pop up”…you know you like to look at escort/masseurs. Even if you have to wing it and put down a retainer of $50/100 to someone you’re familiar with, in the event you may be free but aren’t sure.

The lack of common etiquette on both sides, client and provider, is common and still amazes me. I just experienced it. 

I wasn’t complaining about the scheduling issues. I turn down business and it’s fine, that’s not my problem. My complaint was the enquiry that doesn’t end with either of ‘I’m booking’ or ‘thanks but no thanks’. You’re just left hanging. Thats unacceptable. Sometimes those guys ask again months later…guess what. I ignore them. 

Frankly, he doesn't owe anyone an explanation, and in reality, whether he needs it or not is immaterial. If that's what he wants, he is entitled to ask for it, and decline any engagement if the client is not prepared to accept it as a condition of meeting him. He can then move on as if that client had never been a realistic prospect.

seems strange that the "largest criminal defense law firm" in Arizona needs to be advertising on youtube.....
based on years of forum chatter here, arrests of gay clients or providers seem uncommon.......though not involving money (prostitution), famous arrests like George Michael and Larry Craig ("lewd behavior" or similar) came about only because of orchestrated stings after specific community complaints to the local police......
most of us have seen the 'cops-in-the-hotel-room-next-door' thing on "Cops" using audio/video and an undercover cop (as client or provider) meeting the provider/client and specifically discussing "money for a sex act" to get the proof......after getting that specific confirmation, cops bust in thru the connecting hotel room door......these stings are highly planned by local police/sheriff and take time and staff, so aren't too common....and they could be for public relations rather than as a result of specific complaints.....specifically targeting gay clients/providers doesn't seem to be a priority, typically, but I do remember a video years ago of a male provider being arrested after an undercover male cop, as client, nearly badgered the provider to agree to "money for sex"......
these days, much more important to law enforcement jurisdictions is fighting human trafficking (and resultant prostitution, usually females)......I don't think anybody here on the forum is conducting human trafficking(!).......
as always, using this forum, meeting with established providers, and not discussing money at the meeting is the advice.....get money stuff hammered out in pre-meet planning (including how/when payment will be made) and confirm with the provider that you don't want to talk money in person......
 

I completely agree with your assessment on the toxicity of social media on our society, Mark_fl. “ Instant gratification and anonymity are causing a downward spiral.” Perfectly stated and accurate statement!
 
The anonymity and lack of respect for others, definitely plays a huge roll in many of the struggles that providers have to deal with. 
I have befriended two of my regular providers. The stories of cyber bullying, stalking and harassment that they have shared with me are frightening. One of the provders never hosts at his own home, due to safety and security issues. These providers are well established, and have numerous positive reviews on CoM and RM.   
In closing, I just want to thank all of the awesome providers who are working hard, being kind and caring to their clients, despite the barrage of negativity and toxicity. Your service to our community is greatly appreciated and valued. 
Being an eternal optimist, I believe we can do better with each other on this awesome platform. Showing kindness and respect for each other, is crucial to the future success of our community. As the world becomes more complicated and challenging, we as a gay community need to tolerate and accept and embrace each other, despite our differences. 

With Respect to all of the providers and clients in this community. 
 
Dave M. 

I just hope you know: everytime you start talking shit about what I post, I’m going to have RECEIPTS to show that how you feel about me, is irrelevant. Case in point just yesterday: a real gentleman client booked me just like I asked. I went ahead and did same day notice, because I didn’t have anything immediately going on, but I still needed 2 hours notice (finish eating, showering, and the commute to downtown all takes 2 hours, that’s nothing crazy to ask). 

 
This is what I tell ALL clients. That I need 2 hours notice. It’s in my ads. And anyway, aren’t you the same person who talked about going to some escorts hotel in DC, walking over there and then being told you need a deposit when you got to the elevator? You the same person going around trying to see escorts on 15 minutes notice.
It’s called boundaries, honey. It’s called taking control over one’s schedule and time, and making sure I’m actually ready for the client. And in my experience, nobody is really available last minute in reality. That’s just something that hookup culture (which has crossed over into the escort lifestyle) has created. 

The solution suggested by many in his previous personas was “find a new career”

Yes that’s the solution. This week I’ve said no to 4 clients who wanted fairly short notice bookings because I wasn’t able (or in one case inclined) to meet them. One guy asks for a short notice meeting every few weeks and every time I decline. It’s like a game. 
However this week 3 clients have messaged to ask my availability and I’ve replied with a positive answer to all of them. All of them have then gone quiet - no reply. No ‘thanks but my plans changed’ or ‘I’d like to book’ or anything. They just ignored me. This is why guys like @JB_Studio38get irritated. There’s a significant enough number of ‘clients’ who simply view providers as not really deserving of respect or consideration. It’s what happens in this industry and I find it unacceptable. Those guys behave badly and it needs to be called out. There’s no excuse for it. And before anyone says providers behave badly yes they do and that’s also unacceptable. What I’m talking about is clients because that’s my experience. 
 

That was the least and most reasonable things he complained about. 
He complained about clients who wanted to see him at noon, but he wanted to go to the gym at that precise time and not at 11 AM or 1 PM (before or after seeing a client), "cheap Indians" running motels and not allowing him late check outs, clients who "assume escorts can always host", etc. SO MANY things 

I've been called (in this forum) an "endless apologist" for escorts "always n their side" but over 90% of his posts were indefensible. 
Mocha sometimes made great points about subjects like deposits and rightfully complained about "time wasters' and "no shows', but it was all lost in the sound of constant bickering. It's like he wants to see clients only if and when he's in the right mood instead of adapting himself to his clients like most business owners / entrepreneurs do. Now this new 2-hour advance notice is just too much. 

If you don’t like what I have to post, you don’t have to hang around. Like you being attracted to me or not, makes any difference. What do you look like? Easy to say when you don’t even have a pic up of yourself 🤣 Only a coward or a bitch would stoop to that level. And you been around since 2003 and making comments like that? You should know better 🤔 
 
Does it make you feel better about yourself now that you said it? For your own peace of mind, I hope so…now leave, please.