JB_Studio38

I understand that. I’ll be the first to admit: I engage in non hired sex from time to time. For me, I need that to balance the dichotomy between the 2. I’ve said that before. In fact, just did it yesterday. But, it wasn’t as candid as just coming over to somebody with nothing more than sex as the purpose. It’s somebody who’s also open to chat, watch TV, spend the night, cuddle, etc. I’m not putting everybody under an umbrella saying that if they don’t pay, they’re cheap. I’m talking specially about general hooking up. There are guys out there looking for free sex: but their parameters are alongside something you’d seek an escort for. Like in the example I posted: he goes from saying he likes hung men, to he’s not going to give dollars. That’s CHEAP. He’s not saying, “I like guys who enjoy watching tv and are interested in a boyfriend”. He went straight to describing a person’s endowment, and then adding in his profile that he’s not going to pay for it. That’s a cheapskate. PERIOD. Nothing you can say to change that. I didn’t ask him for money, he volunteered on his profile not to pay money. He could have said all that and left that out, and I would have said: “he knows what he wants”.

It is a thrift store. People are looking for free sex. I see it all the time. The ads are all about not wanting to pay. It’s a gay flea market. What’s offensive about that? Lol. Now, if people were actually looking to date and find romance…no sex expected, I could see how that would be offensive. But majority on there are not: they are looking for quick, cheap, easy flings. Without any money involved. Not because they are trying to save money like Dollar Tree or GoodWill, but because they are cheap. Mind you: I’m not trying to say every guy on the apps is that mindset. But majority are. I’m actually trying to understand your point. You just mentioned a situation about guys hooking up for free multiple times a week. What does that have to do with me? If that’s what you want to do…go ahead and do it. I’m not necessarily comparing Grindr guy to Grindr guy. I’m moreso saying in a bigger scheme of things: Grindr is doing a better job attracting freebie hookups, than RentMen is attracting paying customers. It’s just a fact. I know this because I work in the big markets and the small markets. I’ll sit at a hotel and have nothing all day long waiting for RM clients, but will get on Grindr and my messages are filled to the brim (granted with majority flakes and freebies). I’m just making a statement. I’m not in any way condoning or suggesting hookup apps are better source for escorting or clients. I’m just saying what the traffic is like.

I get that…but again I’m talking in general, not just one person. When I look at the bigger picture, I believe hookup apps still play a partial role in the level of biz. I get what you’re saying, but I’m just going based on facts and what I see. I could easily say: “I’ll never go on those apps”. But it’s better to be in the know, than to not know at all. And I know for a fact, a lot of potential, past and current clients have used or are using those apps. I would be lying if I said, “no client has ever mentioned Grindr to me before”. They have. They aren’t ignorant. I’m not saying it’s dooms day, but I am saying: it has an EFFECT to a DEGREE on the level of business. I should be very busy with lots of calls in Kansas City. Heck, I went out to the store yesterday and got 2 compliments on my beard, and it wasn’t from gay men. I know it’s not necessarily something “wrong” with me, but instead: a bigger force that I can’t always compete against. Not to mention, the already increasing “competition” on the rent websites. It’s only so many times I can sit and blame myself, and take other people’s advice: before realizing and understanding sometimes the issue is bigger than me. I can go on Grindr and get dozens of hookup offers, and they’ll wait to book me in advance: long as it’s free. I can find them in big cities and small towns. My “complaints” (as some people like to lower them to) on the forum are not about a lack of sex. It’s the system. I feel like there was a sweet spot in the number of booking I was getting during the heights of Covid, and now it’s fizzled out. I have heard other sex workers say the same, that they were busier during Covid than they are now.

The “gripe” that I have isn’t with the advice given: it’s the presentation. I’ve said this before. Ask yourself: are you really invested in helping, or do you just want to nitpick and see me shut up? That’s the thing. You aren’t coming to me in a helpful or constructive manner, you’re using demeaning, belittling, and condescending tone to get me to submit and scare me off from sharing the truth. That’s the problem, and that’s why we don’t see eye to eye. You also keep using general language and answers that is incorrect. Such as: “that’s why I don’t get any clients, or claiming I reject everyone’s advice”. You rarely come to me with respect and understanding, you come at me throwing flares: and that’s why I will never agree to your assessments. You come with a bitchy, sarcastic tone in every reply…and I can’t respect you for that. I know I’m spending way more time than any escort would arguing with you, but part of my duty to create a better hiring space, is talking to people like you: who can’t aren’t cognitive to the behavior and treatment of sex workers that doesn’t better the industry. Do you ever just agree with anything I post? You always have to come trying to prove me wrong or correct me. Everything you saying I do, you are doing exactly that. You literally make an argument out of everything I post.

This is a great strategy. I always feel a day or 2 isn’t too far in advance but, it also gives enough time to “catch them while they’re still horny”.

I was mainly posting that in the context of what you asked me in the prior post. In my case, I wasn’t “offended” by it. But I “might” tell them that, just to let them know: they’re not winning any points with me, by making disparaging/snide remarks towards aspects of the profession. Regardless if it’s indirectly towards me, or amateurs doing it the wrong way. Even if I’m not advertising on the platform or doing the same that those other guys might be doing: why bring it up? If someone can’t post about getting “paid”, then they shouldn’t be able to post about “not” paying someone. It’s right up there with the “no fats, Blacks, or fems” slogan. Okay so non of those suit your preference? Fine. But they don’t need to ostracize an entire segment of people based on something they don’t like. Saying it’s “sad” and not giving “You” dollars is nothing short of belittling and bullying. And if Grindr is so bad and full of opportunists, then maybe they don’t need to be there. Get off the phone, get out the house and meet guys in real life if it’s that much a bother. People on the forum love to tout “It’s part Of the business, you just gotta deal with it”. Well then, hunting for free sex on gay apps is also “Part of the business” that someone may ask for money or looking for a paid interaction. (matter of fact, probably moreso in the men looking for women realm as there’s plenty of women who won’t sleep with a guy who doesn’t pay a bill or take them to dinner, etc). And as for the RentMen client looking for a freebie: don’t even get me started. I could post so many text/Rentmen messages, this thread will run out of room and the forum will run out of bandwidth. “Some” Rentmen/Adam4Adam “potential” clients have been trying to get free interactions for ages. Hell, I just went thru and re-did access to my private gallery and there were like 1,500 members wanting access to my private gallery. Some who never reached out to book an appointment. I have plenty of pictures already. The problem is, we can’t even say in our ads: “do not contact me unless you’re able to pay”. We have to be bubbly and positive. Yet majority of hookup ads I read, the person is jaded or saying something to imply they are fed up. Where’s the “stop complaining” brigade when you need them? Lol.

The problem with that, many of those types don’t always follow thru. Especially if talking meeting in less than an hour to 30 minutes, and coming to that person’s place. Some get tripped up, over booking in advance. It’s not always a case of needing to “plan” being horny. It just comes down to basic common sense that someone who just realized your existence, is probably going to need to get into position to connect. Now if someone wants to just dive in haphazardly, don’t be surprised if expectations aren’t met. Not by me, just in general. Because some people tend to lump all escorts on a site just because they met 2 guys who screwed them over. One thing that amazes me: as much as I talk about “freebie hookup apps”, I find most all of my meets on there go accordingly. Sure you have the flakes, but most people who get to the number exchange point: usually don’t have a problem waiting a couple/few hours or planning the next day. But nobody is being put off: it’s just basic coordinating schedules. Anybody on hookup apps who’s expecting to meet asap without trying to figure anything out, is a red flag. I just don’t be so quick to meeting someone, without first figuring out what they are even into.

First of all, I don’t need YOU to tell me there’s an issue with my business model. And I just told you: me not getting enough business has mainly been limited to my HOME MARKET, that’s why I travel. You obviously don’t comprehend or listen too well, and that’s the reason why I bother you so much. And if I didn’t, you wouldn’t be talking so much shit every time I post something. If you think you can be a better escort than me, then why not put up your own ad, and see if you can make more money? If it bothers you that much. And if you criticize my needing a deposit, then leave me your number so you can be the first person I call when I need to host an appointment…and you can send me cash or money to pay for the incall location that I book when I host, or the travel expenses I spend to drive to different locations. If you can’t do all of the above, stop talking to me. Because you not even saying anything relevant. You keep saying business model, business model: but you don’t even HAVE a business model at all to offer. So STFU. If I take suggestions from people, it’s going to be within the realms of what’s possible. There’s a difference between suggestions and changing how someone does biz. It takes a non-judgmental person, to decipher the difference. You just want me to do whatever is thrown at me, without any understanding of individual circumstances. Don’t tell me to do something, and don’t give the blueprint or tools to make it happen.

Hmm…yeah, but I mean I have seen such crazy scenarios myself. But like I mentioned, I have to gauge how much crazy I want to actually get involved in. Sometimes my gut isn’t always right, but most times: what seems weird does turn out to be weird. Not to mention more than 1 red flag/dealbreaker , IS a red flag in of itself. In this case: no deposit, daughter at home, and looking for now…and two hours at that. It all makes me go 🤨 Oh…and “personal line” shows up in the “background” check. There’s no real confidence to go to something like that, other than “I’ll meet all sorts of people”. I don’t particularly worry about stings but: I’ve seen shows where it’s some crazy booking request: one show, the “undercover client” wants to dress up like a clown and have 2 women service him. Then, the police busts in and arrest the women. So it’s like yeah, anything that deviates from client behavior I’m used to…is going to be scrutinized. It coulda all been good and gravy or, without an apartment number I could turn up and get ghosted…at best. Non of which is pleasant considering to get downtown takes me an hour. I just rather be safe, than to be blaming myself later.

Everything what @Jamie21 said, but also any weird stuff. Like today: I had a guy tell me his daughter was in the place and to be very discreet if I come over. And before that he asked if I could come now, and wanted 2 hours. Everything just started sounding sketchy, and in my area: 90% of the booking requests here are sketchy anyway: so I sent him a deposit request just to rule out anything weird. Didn’t receive it so, likely bullet dodged. And people wonder why I ask for deposits. If they been in the game as long as I have: they’d ask for it too. I’m open to different scenarios but, it’s better when there’s no surprises or things omitted. Because then I have to start asking extra questions and making sure I’m not stepping into some shit. At the end of the day, long as it’s not a risky situation I’m good.

That’s a tough one…I have to really pick and choose what smiling pics I put up. I don’t think it says anything in particular about the person, just moreso the look they want to give. For some people, smiling can come off looking cheesy in pictures. I mean, even some celebrities smile/don’t smile often in most all their pictures. Or it’s just the overall serious sexy look, versus the playful sexy look. For example:

Agreed. I will say the only thing keeping me hanging onto emails is: the days I’m not on tour and don’t want to be on call 24/7, and being able to receive reviews since it’s required that an email exchange be had to receive one. Other than that, I don’t care for email stuff anymore. Matter of fact: an even bigger P.P. Is when someone emails and is asking to meet today at a certain time at a certain hotel (or my place), in their first reply. One better hope I’m not involved in something like: chores and hobbies at that moment. Because it’s guaranteed not to be seen until after the time has passed that they’re available 🫤 Timely for: text or email? Like was mentioned, timely varies…But standard business practice across the board for email is 24 hours. Text is a bit different, not a whole lot of etiquette has been done on it. But if I were to write the rules, 2 hours to return an initial text could be considered timely. Subsequent texts in an active conversation, not more than 30 minutes apart.

Yes, we are. But only to an extent. The issue is more complex and insidious than it seems on the surface. Hookup apps can and do affect business. Especially in rural areas. In my area, and even in medium market/Low-Middle Class cities: Hookup apps are king for gay meets. Meanwhile, RentMasseur and RentMen are pretty much dead in those same areas. Then they come to us, expecting me to play around like the app guys do: text 1 word sentences, trade pics, flake and etc etc. It doesn’t have to be a direct competition, but when it’s the most commonplace way to connect, it’s bound to have some affect. Granted, most guys who hire are aware of those apps and the time wasted/flakes/or even actual legit hot guys who simply aren’t available short notice, like many request us to do. So, they realize it’s better to book a professional, versus killing hours browsing thrift store apps.

I agree 100%. However, when it comes down to it: when someone says something about another, they need to be prepared to be corrected if it’s not an actual reflection. They can feel how they choose, but don’t come personal and talking smack because last thing I need: is someone misinformed with no hands in the business, to tell me in front of hundreds of viewers, that my business model is causing me to not have many bookings. And then doesn’t even say what portion of the business model it is, into this thread where it wasn’t even relevant to begin with. The answer is pretty much the same: lot of these non-clients men out here have become cheap and frugal. And the amount of professional and non professional guys seem present in every town. There seems to be an increase in freebie hunters. And freebies is the topic of this thread, so it’s not too off topic. Anyone don’t believe me, this is what I see in almost every other profile when someone hits me up on the “Goodwill” app. If I feel like it, I’ll write back: your profile is offensive, I’m not interested… In fact, I am moving towards deleting it just for the mere fact that I don’t even like seeing people with stuff like that in their profile. If someone has to actively hate on sex workers in their profile, that’s just off-putting

I do…in the nude photo industry it’s called fluffing. A bit of touching to help rise to the occasion

And that’s your prerogative if you chose not to. I’ve had several clients still see me off here. What is you and @pubic_assistance solution? If all you can do is disagree with my posts, and call my discussions complaints, then you’re not interested in making a difference. You simply don’t want to hear about improving hiring for others. Just say that. If you don’t like it, go somewhere else. There’s hundreds of threads here on the forum. You don’t have to come here and be condescending, and tell me something without any solution backing it. If you and @pubic_assistance think you’re the experts and can do it better, by all means go place a RentMen or similar Ad up and see if you can. Or at the very least, offer something more constructive to say and stay in your lane as a person hiring.

And I email companies a lot too…usually I get a couple replies in a day, if that. The difference is: I’m asking questions about a product or payment online. That’s NOT trying to arrange an in-person appointment. I don’t know of any business where you email the company, asking “Hey are you available today, staying at the Sheraton”. Or “U free today around 2 p.m. ?“ Like no. No. just…no. Email is not online ordering, it’s not quite set up that way on the RentMen sites. If it was, maybe then you’d have a point. No, escorts are running a CLIENT service. I am not a call center with 200 employees. There’s a reason why I left that industry… Don’t get me started on deposits. I already discussed that on another thread, but I’ll post an example again from other providers (Granted women, but men need to get on the ball with deposits as well…It’s 2023, not 2003 when online escorting was a new thing and people could be more reliable) And even my own example of a client who sent me a deposit and had a great time, but got ripped off by another guy who DIDN’T charge deposit (and I know the guy who he’s referring to: I worked with him one time, and he scammed another client, we could have been shot or thrown out the hotel, because he lied to the client and he stormed out the room) later… then after… Sorry that’s the case. Whoever cancels a Saturday evening plans with you…Would be one man’s loss and another’s gain 😜 I understand that could be a way to lessen the chances of plans falling thru, but ultimately it would depend on the provider. If they okay with last minute great, but those who need notice should be given that rightfully. There’s no harm in booking a last minute booking. I used to do them all the time and still can be open to from time to time. The issue is generally: if someone wants to make something happen, with another’s body in a sexual situation: they have to be willing to have the common sense necessary to understand: that person MIGHT not be expecting me, and things MIGHT be better if I try to get when they can be available, not solely when I’m horny. In one of those exchanges I posted, it didn’t even sound like the person wanted the booking in the first place: which I understand what @Simon Suraci and @Rudynate are saying: low probability people are hard to convince BUT: I’m still going to let them know regardless. I don’t think I should be labeled as trying to change someone based on that. I’m not trying to change anyone, I’m just communicating my desires. Period. I recall earlier this year, one guy kept texting me last minute, at night: I told him twice, darn I just closed taking appointments for the night. The 3rd time he got it right and it was a great time. Maybe I should continue playing that game for now on. I’ll always be booked, and booked, and booked again, whenever someone tries to meet on short notice. Then maybe they’ll say, “let me try to book ahead next time” I agree 100%, but again: it’s just me communicating to them what I require. They shouldn’t get offended. Most times, when I look for a guy to be intimate…who hasn’t hit me up first initiating it: They aren’t available. Clients, fuck buddies, etc. The main times I can find someone available “now” in regular situations: are the substance user types. Or occasionally the small town guy who doesn’t have lots of prospects to work with. So I know people know better. And I guarantee, I guaran-fucking-tee…The ones who do that ALWAYS…NEVER show up. They get called into work within 20 minutes of messaging me. It never fails. That’s why I stopped working that way.

That’s all true. That’s why I was saying in another thread, I would be less offended if a regular/repeat client asked for a discount and stated why (long as it’s not something like, my other guy only charges XXX or “this is tiny town, they don’t charge that much here”). Versus just flat out implying I’m too much. I occasionally ask my barber for his previous price, partly because the shop’s rate went up twice and it takes me an hour to get there. But if I need a haircut before my next appointment, he’s always open to, and I just pay it back in a tip on the next round. And you incessantly keep talking about the same shit that I’ve already corrected you on previously. Stop repeating the same misinterpretations you have, and maybe you can consider that it’s nothing to do with a business model. I never said anything about not getting enough clients or complaining about the ones I get. The ones I DO mention, aren’t even clients because they haven’t paid anything to be one, first of all. And not getting enough clients, I’ve already posted and shown messages about certain people’s mentality in certain areas. However, I wasn’t referring to the $700+fine dining client who seen me couple weeks ago, or the 4 clients I had before that, just in a couple days, one of who actually is an exec at a production company. So explain to me: how is that a bad business model, educate me? Better yet: educate yourself… I just showed you someone who went from saying he could be open to paying me for a massage, to now saying he doesn’t want to give me any money. It has nothing to do with a business model, it has more to do with increased frugality, guys wanting it for free, not “wanting to pay for sex”, etc. And it’s not an issue that’s unique to me. I’m on a different sex work forum where the providers are much more open and honest with others than around here. They have the same discussions… And then, the deposit discussion (if that’s the business model you’re criticizing me on). Again, these are other people saying this, not me… There you go. I’m done discussing, you just want to suck me…. ….into an argument and I’m not about to go that route with you 😝

At this point, considering what’s going on with the former “guy who has resorts in different cities”, I think there needs to be some sort of urgent revision to the whole Sesta Fosta thing. Like it should be announced: Even though, I did happen to drive by the ones near Miami Beach one year. Definitely stunning: Matter of fact, since this whole thing: I went ahead and just put my donations up to where I feel it needs to be. I feel some people expect me to do the same I was in 2010. When there was more clients and I could get away with lower prices. Now due to fewer websites, more guys popping up, and hookup apps: A lower rate may sound good to many, but unless I’m getting 1-3 LOCAL clients daily who are actually SERIOUS, Then maybe I could. Now If I was living there, maybe then someone could call me expensive. But I’m not there yet so, it makes no sense.

I get what you’re saying but, that’s not how I implied it. When I made the statement, I made sure to include that I did enjoy our company, but moreso the distance to meet would play a factor in meeting again. Granted: I have heard of people having boyfriends as far as South America or overseas. I know someone is probably spending $3,000 each time to see the other, which is fine if the person has the means and there’s something built up. I honestly don’t even know why I’m discussing this. I guess the topic about escorts doing freebies can cover a wide array of situations. I even feel cheap and petty talking about this, yuck lol. Why am I making a big deal out of gas money lol. But I know it’s not that. It’s not about the money, it’s not about the gas. It’s moreso I feel I reached the point that: How can so many wonderful clients out there be so generous towards us, yet these other guys get offended when bringing up something like gas money? In addition: somebody said something about dating/relationship…half these guys don’t even be close to that in mind. Lot of guys on these apps aren’t (especially when…RACE ALERT: it comes to guys who are into Black/ethnic men.) I’ve been down that road a MILLION times. They’ll play like my most erotic, attentive boyfriend for a day or 2: and then pull the “I’m not looking for a relationship” card. Meanwhile, I could have lost $1,000 thinking this guy was serious about me (true story, a client was going to hire me for a second night, but I left to go home to my “boyfriend” who eventually ended up telling me he just wants to be friends, shame) That’s why I feel lot of these app guys should be paying for sex, even if they say they don’t. If it was as legal as an Uber, I can imagine most would because, many aren’t looking for dating or friends. They just want a fuck toy. And being a fuck toy is okay, but similar to how they don’t like guys who drop the escort bomb, many of them don’t reveal they not looking for a relationship either until after they get what they want. And if there’s no opportunity for a relationship to happen, then I’m just doing to them, what I do to clients…but for nothing. Or at my expense, if I’m driving across town/multiple jurisdictions to reach them.

Okay: you can agree or disagree but don’t resort to using your judgmental opinions as a personal attack. We’ve been down that route before, don’t go there with me. My “dwindling business model” is actually working well for me, so not sure what you’re talking about there. I just had a client yesterday who got my full service treatment, thanked me for the session and even commented on how I was much better than the last guy (who didn’t ask for a deposit) scammed him out of $250 with a 15 minute massage. So what dwindling business model are you talking about again? In my case it’s moreso just an issue with my general area versus a business model. The message I posted re: the A4A guy was NOT the same guy I mentioned about the gas money, just to be clear. Those are 2 separate conversations… It’s not even about my financial situation. Like I said: I drove there and drove back on my own dime without me even asking for anything. THE POINT I’m making is not about money, it’s not about gas or time spent. It’s multiple points I’m making. Put your thinking cap on, because it’s going to take more than listening to @pubic_assistance ASSwipe comments: I understand most guys who aren’t clients, aren’t going to offer monetary anything if I don’t ask. That’s just how it is, especially on hookup apps. They don’t concern how far I have to drive, or how much the hotel is. And generally consensus is: nobody owes anyone anything. Like that one post I did a few months ago, where the guy who was pretending he wanted an appointment, had in his A4A ad: “don’t ask for gas money, get a job if you need gas money”. And I’m supposed to want to meet someone like that? So, in my case: I did feel a need to bring it up. I didn’t bring it up prior to meeting because: I know most guys are going to feel that’s “tacky” or they’re going to assume I’m like all the other scammer app guys who ask for money and simply block me before we ever meet. The way I said it was very matter of factly: I said “I understand we can’t help being the distance we are, but when I’m in THIS PARTICULAR area (he lives in a rural Army base town and I was also coming from a rural area): I don’t have the EXTRA resource (aka gas/cash/time) to drive that distance again (in the future) without a SOMETHING towards gas”. Something doesn’t have to be monetary, something can be: “if you drive us to the restaurant, I’ll put some gas in”. But again: I know most guys who aren’t clients aren’t going to offer that…even if I ask. Notice how, I didn’t say: “hey can you send me gas money?” Or “dude you should have gave me money for gas”. No. That’s not what I said. Because I was not OBLIGATING IT ON HIM because he didn’t expect it. I simply MADE A STATEMENT. That hey, “I did it this time…but next time or in the future you should know this is something that’s a factor for me.” It has nothing to do with me being so broke I can’t afford gas. Let’s ALL BE CLEAR on that. Because if that was the case, I wouldn’t have been able to drive to California and back from the Midwest…paying $3-$5 a gallon and filling up a 21 gallon tank each time. Do the math. Matter of fact: I was in Denver and a guy came up to me and asked for gas money, driving a better truck than I do…and I gave him some. Because I know how it is. Not to mention, I have on a couple occasions, picked guys up in cities I didn’t even live in, from their place which they couldn’t host, brought them back to my hotel…and drove them back. Not get them an Uber: PERSONALLY DROVE THEM BACK. And didn’t ask for gas. So I’m not here sounding like some cheap MoFo asking for gas money. Don’t ever ever ever think that not for one moment. Again: it’s the PRINCIPLE. Too many guys out here expect a lot for nothing. They don’t give a shit half the time, about the effort the other guy (or more specifically me) has to do to get to them. I remember I experienced this last year: I drove 30 miles at night to meet a guy who I previously met before. We hung out, spent the night. The next morning, he was hustling and bustling to get ready for work, and was rushing me out the door at 6:30 in the morning (3-4 hours before I normally wake up depending if I’m at home or hotel). Didn’t offer anything and seemed to really could care less that I came over to begin with. It’s not about gas money, it’s about: if I can put my time, put effort into driving, spend money on gas, change my schedule around, etc etc into meeting someone: They shouldn’t be OBLIVIOUS to the gesture of saying: “hey do you need XXX for gas, I know you have a long ride”. And I know it’s BS and some dudes looking for freebies are uptight because: when I was in San Diego last month, I was staying with someone at their home: and almost every other day I left to go to the store, I would hear: “I just need a couple things, here’s $20-$50”. And when I left, I heard: here’s $20…I know it’ll probably only get you 4 gallons but: that’s most I can do. See, it’s the little things that matter. It’s not about me wanting to turn the Encounter into escorting or not able to pay my way. Asking for gas money is escorting, since when? But I have a right to communicate my desires, and like @Jamie21 said, maybe it’s not a way to say it without offending someone. And if mentioning I can’t afford to go 1.5 hour out of my way on a repeat basis without chipping in for gas bothers someone…it would confirm they are simply interested in the convenience of my free visit, versus the effort made to ensure the visit.

See, that’s why I often say: dancers/gogo boys/strippers aren’t necessarily always “sex workers”. In my experience, if you’re attractive, they could be open to linking up. I’ve fucked a few myself…but I try to show support by tipping when I see them working. I think in most gay bars I consider them more closely in line to shirtless bartenders and drag queens, than escorts/sex workers. UNLESS it’s a porn star/escort dancing as well. I even was talking with a guy who I almost did a video with, he dances in clubs and earned some porn star recognition, and he was like: “can you teach me how to be an escort?” I’m like…I’m shocked, I don’t think there’s anything I can teach YOU at this point 😆 Exactly I could have said this precisely. Rather than make another topic, I can mention it here: I don’t know if I’m feeling hookups anymore. It sucks because the guys I really really find my type, I don’t usually have as clients. In the gay world, there’s a view to make like guys who ask for any kind of money are users, entitled, etc etc. Its annoying because it’s almost like these guys assume free access: Elsewhere, I met a guy the other night, who I was into. 28 year old, professional, middle eastern. But he lived 1 hour and 30 minutes away in a rural town. So I had to drive to him, and drive back AND use half my gas tank to get there and back. Granted: I was horny and bored, so 1.5 hour at night didn’t seem too bad until I did it 😆 He was nice and attractive, but I could tell that he was enjoying getting as much sexually energy from me as possible, and that was starting to become a bit draining. On our 2nd “romp” the next day: I ended up stopping before either of us got off. I didn’t want to cum again, and it seemed he was going to last awhile before he came again. Meanwhile the clock was just ticking by. I already spent the night, and it was approaching 5 p.m. I was like dude, I gotta go ✌ I texted him later thanking him for a good time, but also had to let him know: If I go that distance normally, it’s for a booking, and that if next time we meet at his: I need him to leave something for my commute. I tried not to make him feel like I was saying: “you shoulda gave me gas money”, but it was more like what @Keenan said: I really couldn’t “afford” a 3 hour round trip drive just to hangout in someone’s apartment (at least not this month) and mutually dick suck/ass lick, cuddle/kiss and watch TV 😆 Yes it was fun BUT: at the end of that, I still likely missed a potential client, used up gas that should go towards my next appointment, and have no guarantee the guy is going to become more than a 1 night stand in the process. He was understanding about it, but I couldn’t find the right way to convey it to him without coming off ungrateful or that I didn’t appreciate his company. But I don’t feel it’s fair to not contribute when I know he has the means and job security to do it, yet I’m in an area that I only get 1 or 2 bookings every couple weeks…. Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for romance and connections complete a desire that I can’t always get from clients: but clients and hookup guys seem to be from different planets. I am so appreciative that many clients will pay for a session AND include commute money. Whereas asking random hookup guys: they think someone is: an unidentified fucking object 🛸 👽

You’re right! It’s funny you say because, I had referred an article to a friend who was struggling with family matters. “You can’t control others, you can only control yourself” 😝 If I was “programmed” to know that 50% of inquiries would go nowhere…I’d probably be less bothered (in my case, more like 80% thanks for being in a country that most sites doesn’t list rates, and thinks firing news anchors, is more “proactive” than legalizing essential human choices…but that’s political so don’t respond to that lol). I get that it’s weird stuff, but people just need to not do it. And what makes it so bad; I WANTED to remove my number from my ads to cut down on the nonsense and dead end inquiries. And even put “registered members only” can contact me (yes clients, that is an option for us. So if you see a message “phone number not available” that may be why). But I find the problem with that is, then my phone doesn’t get enough messages for days. Many clients aren’t members of the site, or when they click on my website link, that pop up showing “PHISHING ALERT” shows up and probably scares them away. And if I’m traveling/touring I just can’t afford it to be too slow. Or just the opposite: I offer email only contact, but they email asking to meet at like 4 p.m. and it’s already 8 p.m. Instead of texting, they emailed me a booking request when I only check email couple times a day. And then when I say I can meet tomorrow, they’re like: I’m leaving tomorrow, or don’t respond back timely 🤦🏾‍♂️ I’m really trying to find the best solution. At this point though, I’m done with RentMasseur email. I’m debating turning off RentMen messenger as well. Even though it’s on auto reply, with very specific instructions, people still find a way to have a conversation with my auto reply on there, instead of doing what’s instructed. The auto reply instructs them to visit my website and then text me with the session they want, not send 2 word messages to engage me in a conversation. A client recently was even a sponsor and reviewed several escorts in the past: I blocked him because he kept messaging me on there and saying stuff like, “okay, understood” instead of doing what I referred him to do. It’s like trying to make me run in circles. Good point… I don’t fault anyone for needing to ask a question again, I have sometimes even sent my auto-greeting text to clients who might have included 1 or 2 answers, by mistake. I try to respond promptly something like, “and I know you’re hosting in XXX city and you seen me on RentMen, but if you can just answer the ones that aren’t included (usually like a name/age/preference aren’t included), that’ll be appreciated…So I can BEST ACCOMMODATE YOUR REQUEST”. However I can see in your case how it can be a ding in the interest if too many things are ignored or unanswered. But my request is super easy and simple: Try to at least TELL me you want to meet somewhere with the same amount of notice you’d give if you are visiting your non-immediate family members. Surely you wouldn’t call them out the blue asking to “come over”? I know people know better. The stupidity is unnecessary.

Examples: And then today: Sometimes I want to ask, what are you thinking contacting on such short notice expecting me to be in the same place at the same time you are, and not having any flexibility on making it happen? Who told you that it’s supposed to be THAT simple. Especially when my ad specifically states what 2 cities I am based in, and that any other areas even if just an hour or 2 away: are travel locations for me. Am I supposed to be a genie? 🧞 And then when I asked the first person if he stayed, he’s like he did…but then didn’t even tell me. By that point I had already figured he wasn’t going to be available. It’s almost like some people go out of their way to make an appointment not happen. I can’t explain it any clearer on my Ad because I mention it twice that I ask for notice. This is probably why a lot of guys only ever advertise their ads when they get to a city and don’t do any advanced posting. I can’t personally work that way, but if it has to get to that point that’s how it would be. Though it would be much easier if people just used some common sense and courtesy…unless they are just intentionally bullshitting, which I wouldn’t be surprised.

And the other thing they need to stop doing, is making a default pop up window whenever someone clicks on a provider’s website link in profile that says “warning the site you’re viewing may be trying to phish for your information. And some people can’t decipher the difference. It’s not a warning against my website, it’s a general warning against fake and scam links. It’s like damn, are y’all tryin to work with us or against us? If it’s that bad, just have every advertiser do a brief video interview consultation before placing an Ad. I am not mad at RentMen/Mass but I feel like I’m having to do too much work when I’m already paying to be there. People can talk all the smack they want about customer service, etc etc but they aren’t dealing with the same thing day after day after day…. …after day, after day, after day, hour after hour after hour after hour. And all this can be easily avoided by making 2 or 3 changes. Put our rates back up (it don’t even need to be rates, it can just say “porn star Booking fee) let personal websites be easily accessible, and make clients pay into something to instant message us because I have dozens of RentMen messages that have gone nowhere. If I have to keep wishing and repeating the same shit every month, I’m just going to start making everyone contact me by booking form or mail if they’re too afraid of a deposit…not email but, P.O. Box. Include a money order and email address to receive response 😆