Jamie21

Rigid?? Really? When I said ‘can be’ and ‘depending’! And a red flag is just that. Red flags are indicative of a problem not definitive of one. A whole series of red flags? Yes that’s a problem. I’ve engaged in thousands of enquiries whilst doing this job. I think my data on what constitutes a red flag is quite robust now 😉.

He’s probably an escort who supplements his income as an attorney. Both jobs involve fucking clients.

All of those I know who do sex work (and this includes me) are doing it because they choose to, not because they have to. They’re intelligent, successful, interesting people. I’ve found that if you’re successful in one field it’s possible to take learnings from that and bring them to sex work and be successful there too. Similarly with guys I’ve met whilst making porn. They’re invariably intelligent switched on people doing it because they enjoy it and are good at it. If you don’t enjoy the work you really won’t last long doing it.

I reject quite a lot of appointments because they’re last minute requests. I swear some people think I don’t do anything else except wait for their call!

Probably because everyone likes to fuck a tax guy 😉.

First time bottom at 50…what’s taken you so long? Pick an older versatile guy. Regardless of his size he will know how to break you in, and if he’s vers he’ll know what feels good and what feels less good.

>10 texts…yes it’s a red flag, not necessarily an ‘ignore’ but it still indicates you’re going to spend hours of unpaid time in responding to him. That kind of wears you down after a while. I have one potential client who has been messaging with questions, observations, requests, pics etc for 4 years on and off. On 3 occasions he’s actually booked a session only to send a message a day or so before the session with some ‘excuse’ to cancel (Covid is a good one). I know 99% for sure he won’t ever get up the courage to book. I’ve even told him that he shouldn’t open this Pandora’s box unless he’s absolutely sure he wants to explore. Yes, >10 texts can be a red flag especially depending on how the conversation progresses. I’d say almost all the information one needs is on my website so anyone asking lots of questions either hasn’t read it or is undecided.

Half as good as I feel about 30 minutes 😉

I am worth it of course..but I discount my rates so that clients who are not so wealthy can afford me. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Sorry to hear this. But it’s not unusual in this line of work. I’ve had some clients (repeat clients not just first timers) ask if I’m free on a day and then once I confirm I’m available they say they’ll message me when they are ready but without committing to a firm booking. Sometimes it works out sometimes it doesn’t but I never ever turn away firm bookings or alter my plans to hang around waiting for the client to decide if he wants to go ahead. Some people have an entitled attitude unfortunately and they expect you to jump if they decide they want to meet. Fortunately it’s not the majority. When they message and say “still free? Can I book for 3pm” or whatever, I take pleasure in saying “oh sorry I’ve now got a booking”. If guys can’t plan their day why should I have my plans thrown into disarray? Organised clients get the booking. Disorganised clients can take their chances. You mentioned you’re new to this. Good luck to you! You’ll meet a lot of fantastic clients, really great people and you’ll get a lot of satisfaction from it but you might need to distance yourself from clients and how they behave towards you (both the good and the bad) otherwise it will burn you out.

You thinking that something might be wrong with you from that exchange tells me definitively that ….Nothing Is Wrong With You.

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. That’s my plan. Of course with credit to Dylan Thomas.

In my experience as soon as you start discounting (whether that’s offering reduced rates for regulars or students or whatever) the discounted rate becomes the new ‘floor’ for your standard hour rate. It bleeds to other clients and then becomes the expectation. So I have a simple rule: no discounts ever. The rate is the rate, that’s it and it’s not a matter for discussion. The sooner the conversation moves from ‘how much’ to ‘this is what I like / want’ the better. I like to minimise the transactional nature of the meeting because it doesn’t help with creating the right atmosphere.

It sounds like he’s using you to explore his own sexuality. I agree with those who said he’s getting off on the dom sub thing. I’ll bet that if he hasn’t allowed you release yet then it’s unlikely to happen and if by chance it does then he won’t want to see you again because the ‘spell’ has been broken. I personally wouldn’t send the message to him, because it’s easy to misinterpret intentions from a message. I’d tell him next time you see him, before he starts, that given you won’t get a release you’d rather not have the sensual build up and just enjoy the therapeutic massage. See what happens after that. I like to give my clients a great massage but also always a release too (if they want it…most do). I think it’s a fetish if someone enjoys the build up but doesn’t want the climax, it’s perfectly fine if that’s specifically what they want but it’s very unusual.

It means you’re discerning in favour of quality older guys 😉

This is true, although I think ‘energy’ might be better described as ‘attitude’. If you behave as if you are attractive then that makes you attractive. Your attitude to yourself is a cue to how others might see you. See yourself as unattractive then it’s very difficult indeed for others to see you as attractive, and even if they do find you attractive you’ll probably not notice. I firmly believe there’s attraction in anyone and sometimes part of doing sex work is helping them find it.

Sometimes with larger guys there’s physical limitations about what they can do, regardless of any issues about what you as the provider are prepared to do. I can think of a client I saw who was very overweight. My massage table is wide but when laid on it he took up the whole width…on his back his belly kind of spread out either side. This guy was top and really wanted to top me as part of the massage but the logistics of it wasn’t simple. Unfortunately his size didn’t extend to all parts of him if you know what I mean so that made it even more difficult. I tried to ride him but there was nowhere for me to kneel on the table either side of him and honestly I couldn’t get all of him between my legs when kneeling so I had to squeeze his body up between my ankles while standing on the table then lower myself on to him. That didn’t work because his belly was then in the way for any proper penetration. So I turned around facing away and tried that way. I think he was in for a minute or so but because of fat around his groin and thighs it wasn’t easy to ride. We tried also with him standing and me bent over the table which didn’t work either because his belly got in the way. He told me afterwards that he’d not had sex in years because of the weight issue not really because guys found him unattractive (he said some guys sought him out because of his body) but mainly because he couldn’t get into positions comfortably. I didn’t get into talking about why he was so overweight but it clearly made him frustrated and I felt sorry for him.

Sorry to hear this, I hope you are ok. I’d say never ignore the warning signs. If his communication with you was strange at the start then that’s a good warning sign. It’s difficult because you want to give people the benefit of the doubt, and no doubt his pics etc looked hot but given that you’re intending at some point to be in a very vulnerable position with a stranger then you really should do the utmost to be careful about the type of guy you hire, and take notice of warning signs.

Some clients are definitely fascinated about sex work and they ask questions about it. Not necessarily to know about specific clients but I find they’re usually curious about things like how one prepares, finds clients, how many clients you see etc. It’s surprising what misconceptions people have so I’m happy to explain things if they’re curious but without mentioning names or revealing client confidential information. I also suggest they read the blog on my website which has lots of stories about my experiences (all of them have had details changed or omitted to protect the innocent ….sorry to protect the guilty 😉).

I can understand that. The job makes it difficult to hookup without thinking about the payment foregone. It also takes it out of you so that your desire for a hookup is diminished. And the random nature of the hours makes it difficult to schedule time for ‘normal’ social activities.

Some clients don’t have large windows of time for a 2 hour or longer session. I find that if they’re slipping out from work or getting in a session after work before they head home then an hour is easier to ‘lose’ than 2 hours. Especially as if you add travel time etc an hour session can take out 90 minutes or more from a schedule. The other factor is whether they can afford the higher cost of the longer session. Some financially stretched clients save up and book a session as a special treat so an hour suits them. From my perspective I find a 2 hour session is most preferable for me because it’s more cost effective and efficient. I’d rather see one client for 2 hours than two clients for 1 hour especially as I like an hour between clients so a couple of 1 hour clients can effectively eat up 3+ hours in a day for roughly the same revenue as one 2 hour client. However as a customer focused business I do offer 1 hour sessions because there’s a market for it…but I draw the line at requests for half an hour!

That’s not a sensual massage. That’s a massage with a 2 minute hand job at the end. That’s why it’s £40.

Definitely agree with this assessment. 1) is 90% of the time an exchange that never goes anywhere. 2) is the wrong type of client for me (I don’t do sex only sessions), 3) is looking for sex chat and 4) is definitely an instant block. “Hello I’m interested in booking but I have some questions I’d like to ask ….etc” will get a positive response. I’m a professional, it’s not necessary to be flippant, lewd or coy about arranging a session. Where I work selling sexual services is lawful so no need to be abstract in conversation either.

I think if you asked for services and the masseur goes further (and you accept it) then there’s no obligation on you as the client to pay more. You might give a tip but shouldn’t feel that just because the masseur voluntarily offered extra that you should pay up. If I go further than what my client initially agreed (and I’d be very careful to only do that if I’m sure he’s comfortable with it because people do sometimes want more once the massage has started) then it’s up to me. If a client specifically wants to fuck me or me fuck them as part of the session and it’s agreed beforehand then yes I’ll charge extra but that’s different to me volunteering extra after the session started.

Min time is an hour, in call or out call. If the out call is a long distance or time to travel then I price it accordingly. I quite like doing out calls to hotels or the client’s place. Often they are more relaxed in that environment, so it helps.