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xyz48B

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    is this the "new normal" attitude?

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted · Edited by xyz48B

    To continue the metaphor…

    Many of these providers need to consult the Kelly Blue Book to ascertain a true market value. Just because it’s your car doesn’t mean it’s actually worth what you want it to be worth.

    To speak plainly…

    Many of these providers have delusional ideas about what their time is worth. Does that mean there aren’t guys out there just as delusional who will pay? No. By no means. But it’s still delusional.

    And for what it’s worth, @Jamie21, you seem reasonable. I’m not saying you are unreasonable, but there are far too many escorts who act like they’re doing clients a favor by taking our money. Not sharing time. Not having sex. Not doing any of that. Taking our money. They act entitled to it because they are who they are and nothing more. That’s what rubs me wrong. You’re an escort. There are doctors. There are teachers. There are garbagemen. We all have something that makes us important. But you aren’t entitled to my money or my deference because you’re hot and oodles of guys want to fuck you. You aren’t entitled to anything from me anymore than I’m entitled to anything from you.

    The way that the conversation goes here, it seems, often is that clients are the ones with all these unreasonable expectations as if providers are wholly innocent of any kind of entitlement. It’s just not the case. The marketplace really sucks for everyone, but instead of agreeing on that, it’s fingerpointing and ‘splaining all over the place.

    I get tired of guys saying “no hangups” but then I read here all the things I suspect providers actually think but would never say to me. Like, don’t tell me your biggest priority is making me happy. Because what I read here is making the most amount of money and making sure the provider’s time isn’t wasted. Something is misaligned here, and I’m going to bet what I see here is more reflective of actual feelings than what some RM ad says trying to convince a horny guy to hand over the cash…

    Hate me for that feeling if you want, but I don’t think providers first and foremost care about my happiness. They care about their wallets. At least clients can be assumed to want two things: 1) to get fucked for 2) the cheapest cost possible. 

    is this the "new normal" attitude?

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted · Edited by xyz48B

    2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

    True, but it’s my Ford Focus so I decide what value it has for me. If it has the same value for you, then we have a deal. 

    No doubt. But don’t be surprised if you’re selling a Ford and you’re expecting BMW prices if people think you’re off your rocker

    It reminds me of my father. He’s always going to yard sales looking for a treasure for a song, but he wants top dollar when he has his own yard sale.

    is this the "new normal" attitude?

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted

    9 minutes ago, Kevin Slater said:

    THIS!

    Also, I want to go kick the tires on a dozen or so makes and models, and expect each dealership to treat me as if I've purchased a Ferrari there.

    Kevin Slater

    When car shopping…it’s the norm to check out various options.

    The car dealership analogy also sort of falls apart a bit too when a salesman keeps trying to make a sale even when you’re browsing. From what I’ve read here, if a potential client even so much as inadvertently makes use of the wrong word in a text exchange, it’s a sign to drop him because he’s “not serious.” Car salesmen will work their butt off to sell you a lemon…as if it’s a Ferrari. 

    Will most Americans be gay by the turn of the next century?

    in The Lounge

    Posted

    38 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

    There went PA again, reacting in a defensive, almost insecure manner. It just makes one even more suspicious that he was, indeed, knowingly using the term in its well-known and generally accepted pejorative sense. 

    Some people like to redefine the terms after they’ve started discussing. They don’t like how their comments were interpreted, or what they actually mean, but it wasn’t their fault. We and our feeble brains were the wrong ones. There are certain members of this forum who (dys)function according to that MO.

    is this the "new normal" attitude?

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted

    1 hour ago, Rod Hagen said:

    They're asking it, that doesn't mean they're getting it.  🙂

    I’m really getting to the point I hate the haggling. If he quotes me a crazy amount to start, I state that’s too much, and he’s a either a) unwilling to come down to a reasonable amount or b) “unable” to come down to a reasonable amount, I’m unwilling and unable to pay and move on. Lost business opportunity for him. I’m getting to the point where even that much negotiation sours the experience for me…

    is this the "new normal" attitude?

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted

    14 minutes ago, Rod Hagen said:

    If men were willing to pay gay escorts the same rates they pay female professional escorts

    Blinking The Office GIF
     

    When I book a guy for a 3-day BFE, I pay him generously. If he has another overnight or two in a month when he books with me, he’ll bring home more than most middle class US-Americans make each month.

    From the way that the escorts on here talk, they are so busy and booked that a simple text message reflects a waste of their crazy busy time. So from that, it seems to me, the providers have plenty of business. And should be doing just fine if they’re living within their means.

    I’ve had guys quote me $4000+ for a weekend. While those of us who hire probably skew higher than the average earner’s pay, it’s craziness to think that $4000 for a weekend of work is somehow insufficient compensation. Yes – providers deserve to be compensated fairly. But fairly. And sanely. Some providers have an unrealistic expectation of what is sane.

    Will most Americans be gay by the turn of the next century?

    in The Lounge

    Posted

    I don’t understand…

    Why is “born this way” such a terrible thing for sexual orientation?

    We can choose how you live with your orientation, but you can’t choose your orientation. It can be a combo (and is) a combo of nurture and nature, but orientation is something you’re “given.” The lifestyle you choose can and will be in light if that orientation.

    You can be gay and choose to live a heterosexual lifestyle…

    Sexual orientation and lifestyle are different.

    is this the "new normal" attitude?

    in Questions About Hiring

    Posted

    1 hour ago, jtwalker said:

    I'll text one guy, wait 10-15 minutes and text another.  I realize 10-15 minutes isn't long enough.  When I use to stick to just texting one guy, I was often let down.  The fact is that many escorts never reply, and when they do, they may already be booked or it may just not be a match.

    I'm polite, communicate with everyone, and even let someone know if I've already made other plans.  Following this, I usually find what I'm looking for.  Before, when I tried to be patient, I was often left with a cold shower.

    Unless I'm missing something, there really isn't a better option here.  Many of us are just as busy as escorts and have limited availability.

    This is very reasonable. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And on top of that, you seem consciously polite. Another thousand points! 

    411 on Toco in Boston

    in The Deli

    Posted

    26 minutes ago, shadowcatzxxx said:

    Well, it ended well. Or ended in my end? Whatever.

    As I had begun to suspect during a long text foreplay, this guy is real, he's hot, and he has reason not to use pics that would disclose his identity. So the owner of the insta from which a couple of pics were borrowed (with owner's consent, they know each other) happens to have very much the same type of muscular body as this guy, so he used those pics as a fair representation of his own physique. Take my word for it. He's built. And handsome. I don't want to wander into review territory here, so let's just say I'll be seeing him again.

    I’m glad it went well for you. Genuinely. I do however find it duplicitous to use someone else’s pictures – permission notwithstanding – as your own for an advertisement, however. 

    Will most Americans be gay by the turn of the next century?

    in The Lounge

    Posted

    1 hour ago, latbear4blk said:

    I never said that. If you read my article, you will see that I describe in detailed the oppressive features of specific labels, without posing universal laws.

    If you mean the pinga opinion piece, I don’t agree that “gay is not good.” For me, I despise the label “queer” for myself because it means everything and therefore nothing. I’d rather actually figure out what gay means, and like so many think they’ve (unsuccessfully) done with the word “queer,” “take back” the word “gay” from all the extra bullshit people have come to associate with it. “Queer” is just the most recent attempt of gay folks to find a label that evades the strictures of puritanical society, but that’s what “gay” was supposed to be before we – gay folks – allowed it be stereotyped in a way many dislike. Running away from the moniker isn’t the solution; it’s just running away. The same will happen with “queer,” even if you think it’s “better” than “gay.”

    Will most Americans be gay by the turn of the next century?

    in The Lounge

    Posted

    1 hour ago, latbear4blk said:

    I agree there. We choose our life style. 

    You do know that a lot of people choose an oppressive life style, right? There is not shortage of self hating people of all kinds. 

    Sure. People can choose that. But I think that’s a mighty far leap to go from “sexuality labels can make sense of complexity” to “sexuality labels are by their nature oppressive.”

    Will most Americans be gay by the turn of the next century?

    in The Lounge

    Posted

    2 hours ago, Rudynate said:

    there definitely still is a "gay lifestyle" pursued by urban gays

    Now this I find interestingly compelling.

    How useful is this label? Not terribly. But we also have to determine how narrowly we want to define “gay lifestyle.” Is it just a (potentially sexual) relationship with another man? Or is it it the partying, drinking, music, clothing, sex, entertainment, etc. that does seem to be marked of the lifestyle of many-a urban gay—between the ages of 18 and about about 45-50, I’d estimate.

    For me, the gay lifestyle isn’t what is portrayed as stereotypical by the media or social media…The glam isn’t what makes one gay, although it’s certainly attractive to a large swath of the gay population. 

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