Charlie

Although William M and I lived for years in the same city, even the same neighborhoods, I didn't become aware of him until I joined this site, and I didn't recognize him as someone I had known in the many years I lived in Philadelphia. He never gave any indication that he recognized me either, although I had been reasonably active in the local gay community for many years (I was involved in the gay rights movement in the 1960's, and was active in community organizations during the AIDS crisis in the 80's). On this site we often disagreed with one another, generally on rather trivial subjects, but we never made any effort to meet or find out who "Charlie" and "William M" were in real life. It was clear from his posts that we were about the same age, so it wouldn't surprise me to learn that he has passed, like so many of my contemporaries. I wish I had seen MikeBiDude's post of that obituary, so I could have speculated on whether it could have been William.

The "Map Me" function is for Denver, and I don't see anything in the ad that indicates when he is in Palm Springs, even though he has a Palm Springs phone number and the reviews are from clients who claim to reside in Palm Springs.

I thought it was because gentlemen (G) always let ladies (L) go first.

"Bonnie Prince Charlie" (that's assuming I started advertising 60 years ago).

Even a family member may not already know important information, like what possessions need to be disposed of that are not specifically mentioned in the will, where important documents and items are stored, the status of things like mortgages and loans, etc. Such information should not only be discussed with a potential executor, he/she should also be given a written list of such things.

As I mentioned before, when I asked my brother-in-law what financial compensation he would like for his work as executor, he declined to accept anything. I suspect it was because he knew the will itself already contained a substantial bequest for his young grandchildren's future education. I imagine many family members could be in a similar kind of situation in regards to a will, and would be reluctant to expect the kind of compensation that a professional would expect..

Picking a family member as executor should be as carefully done as anything else. Most people automatically choose a sibling or an adult child for the role, but I didn't have that option, since I had no siblings, and mine was a childless same-sex marriage. As an only child, my only relations in my generation were multiple cousins, but only two of them are still alive, both much younger females whom I haven't even seen in this century. However, my spouse had two surviving younger brothers, both of whom I had known and been friendly with since they were young men. The older one, who is also gay and has a law degree, might seem like the logical choice on paper, but he is my age, has a history of medical problems, and lives 3000 miles away from me; he probably wouldn't be able to take care of anything that needs to be done in person, especially if I live a lot longer. The youngest brother lives only half as far away from me and is accustomed to make visits; he also has a daughter who is a lawyer and is willing to be a back-up executor for her father. So although I feel less close to him emotionally, he was the better choice. But no matter how well you think you know the family member and you think he/she knows you, before making the will, one should have a long talk with the potential executor, making sure he/she is aware of all the duties and expectations in your specific situation, and is willing and able to perform them.

I have recently dealt with these issues. I was executor of my late spouse's estate; the alternate executor--if I were unwilling or unable to perform--was one of my spouse's brothers. Because I was the sole beneficiary of my spouse's estate as well as executor, I was told by our lawyer that probate was unnecessary, and the settlement has gone smoothly, albeit with a lot of paperwork. Since my spouse was named executor in my will, I had to make a new will after he died. The same brother-in-law agreed to become the executor of my will, and his daughter is named the alternate if he is unwilling or unable to perform (she is a lawyer and quite competent). Both of them rejected my offer of financial compensation for their duties. There are several beneficiaries named in my new will, none of them related to me by blood, but since I have no family of my own and owe no debts, I don't expect it to be contested by anyone, but I can't be sure that it will avoid probate.

I made a cup of coffee with it an hour ago, and it can't really compete with the fresh-brewed coffee I made yesterday, but it doesn't taste any different from what I remember Taster's Choice instant coffee tasting like years ago. So I might as well use it up rather than throw it away or put it back on the shelf. "Waste not, want not."

I have a landline phone and an an iPhone. My landline phone tells me the number of the person calling, and if I don't recognize it as someone I want to talk to, I just let it go automatically to voicemail after 4 rings. Almost all of the callers stop as soon as as they are directed to leave a message. My iPhone automatically silences call which isn't in my list of contacts, but keeps a list of the phone numbers from the silenced calls.

Novak's cancellation of his practice matches for the semi is not a good sign. He took a very awkward-looking fall near the end of his quarter-final, and there is speculation that he may have injured himself, which will make it really difficult for him to beat Sinner. I happened to see one of Taylor's first pro matches (I was with a close friend of mine, who was a friend of Taylor's mother), and he has come a lot farther than I expected, but I think that if Carlitos is at the top of his game, Taylor probably will not make the final. I wouldn't make a prediction about the final until I see what happens in both semis.

I was about to make a cup of coffee this morning, when I noticed an almost empty jar of Taster's Choice instant coffee at the back of the shelf. I checked the date on it, and it was November 2004. What do you think I should do?

I have a neighbor who likes to cook, and now that I am a widower and she knows that my spouse usually did the cooking in our household, she often offers me food that she has prepared for dinner for herself and her husband, with the explanation that she made too much. Unfortunately, I don't really care very much for her cooking, but I can't very well refuse it, because I know that her offer is kindly intended. So I always accept it with thanks; then I usually taste it before I put it in the refrigerator. If I don't really want it for dinner, it usually sits there for a few days, but I can't leave it there too long, or she will ask for the container back. So my usual practice is to leave it for a few days, and if I really don't can't bring myself to eat it, I put it in my compost bin, clean the container and return that to her with my thanks for the delicious meal.

Yup

My spouse hated to throw anything away, and he often stored things "In case there is an emergency and we are trapped in the house for a long time and can't shop for food." The other day I opened a rarely-opened drawer in the kitchen and decided to check out that cache of packaged emergency foods in it. I threw away everything that had a "best if used by...." label, if the date was before the COVID pandemic (during which we never needed to use any of it anyway). The earliest date on anything was 2010. At least it was packaged so well that nothing smelled.