MaybeMaybeNot

2 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I wouldn’t call any of these “horror stories”, but do have some negative experiences that come to mind.  Pre-pandemic, when I was actively looking to meet guys on Grindr, I was picky as to who I would message/respond to and then would vet hookups by chatting on and off for at least a few days prior to meeting.  I was lucky to have never been in a dangerous situation, due in part to these measures.  Anyway, here are some of these negative experiences:

1- A cute guy invites me to come to his place for a hookup. A few minutes before I arrive at his place, he sends a pic of his (slightly less cute) husband and asks if he can join us. I say yes despite not generally being into three-ways. When I arrive, the guy I had been messaging looks about 20 years older and 50 pounds heavier than his pics, but the husband looks like his pic so I went through with it. I honestly didn’t have a terrible time, but guys sending outdated and/or edited pics became a theme (which I won’t go into since it’s self-explanatory).

2- I’m giving a hot guy a bj in his living room and his (likely Orthodox Jewish female) roommate walks in, screams, and runs out.

3- Another theme: guys I [think I] have a great time with blocking me seconds after I leave.  Or better yet, blocking me or stopping responding/not giving an exact address right before we’re about to meet (I once waited on a guy’s corner for almost an hour before I realized he had ghosted me despite making plans).

4- I see a guy on Grindr who appears to be incredibly close, like 50 feet away.  I’m intrigued and we hit it off.  He then sends a face pic which I am not remotely attracted to, so I block him.  The very next day, we got on my building’s elevator together.  What an introduction to a new neighbor!

5- This one was completely my fault and I wonder if this guy could have become a boyfriend had our first encounter gone differently.  He was gorgeous and our chemistry via messaging was amazing.  In a nutshell, he asked if I could meet him for a quick drink and I should have said “not today” instead of “yes”… I arrived at the bar very sweaty/unkempt from a particularly physical day of work and didn’t realize I only had a few dollars in my wallet.  I fortunately noticed the latter before I ordered so only got a water.  I proceeded to be judgmental of my date for drinking “heavily” before his work function (I was an innocent 22 so my perception of heavy drinking was skewed).  I then walked my date to his function and he gave me a kiss on the cheek (which I could still feel), but I knew I’d never see him again.  Despite knowing his (relatively common) full name and vocation, I have not been able to track him down to apologize and ask for a second chance.

I don't understand the outdated picture thing.  I like older guys. No one has to be perfect. But don't set me up for one person and present another.  So annoying.  

In my hometown, the trend on Scruff is to use an old picture, then to have the following pictures be recent. I don't get it. 

I feel bad that so many actors have to reveal so much of themselves in their shows these days.  But I guess making lots of money showing your private parts is much better than the stress and frustration many of us deal with at our jobs on a day-to-day basis.  

I am not saying I am attracted to this guy or want to watch his porn, but that doesn't mean he isn't a human being worthy of respect. If people want to watch him, more power to them.  There is an audience for him.  No need to be unkind. 

I think of OF creators like Seattle Dad who were denied entry intomporn but found a wide audience on their own.  Body positivity in porn doesn't have to embrace people who look, well, like me, but there is room for sexiness in multiple shapes and ages. Guys with tummies can be hot, guys with big bellies can be hot, guys over 60 can be really hot, guys without strong muscle definition can be hot, etc. 

When I think back to the best sex I've ever had,  it has mostly been with average guys who couldn't make 25 cents in porn.  

Weren't there several porn actors in Ryan Murphy's "Hollywood" series? I would be curious how that came to be.  

My partner is 18 years older than I. When I started having sex (at 32), I was so closeted,  I wouldn't share pictures with anyone.  So, it was always the older guys who took a chance to meet.  They taught me a lot about sex and I developed an attraction for older guys.  That is not to say that I don't enjoy guys my age and younger, but I really do have a thing for older guys.  I love porn with older guys too--Dallas Steele, Matthew Figata, President Oaks, Lawson James, Ace Banner . . . 

Given that he doesn't technically have insurance,  $4200 is pretty good. I went in with pain that turned out to be a kidney stone about 12 years ago. I was in for 4 hours, had insurance with my own social security number, and that was about what I paid.  

I am not a fan of jukebox musicals, but I am a big fan of Corey Cott's. If I was in NYC while he was in it,  I would see if. 

13 hours ago, Maxx00 said:

Thank you!  Yeah, this is more of a curiosity thing for me. Probably will limit the activities I partake in and just check out what’s happening. Appreciate the details!

Years ago, I went to a Cumunion party to watch.  That was packed with hot guys, and there was lots to see. It has changed locations, and I believe it is now called CumPlayLa. 

I attended a couple Thursdays before the pandemic and a Sunday within the last year. What you wear doesn't matter as there is a clothes check at the entrance.  You pay your fee, then go through a door, where you can undress. Some guys wear clothes,  most are naked. They give you a plastic bag, and you put your stuff in that. They store it behind a counter for you. 

I always brought the cash I needed and hid my wallet in my trunk 

Most of the action takes place in a pitch black room. There is another room with a bed, a sling, and abench or something that also gets action and is more watcher friendly.  They're is another room with benches and an open space with a bed, neither of which got used often when I last attended.   There is also a sitting area with porn where people undress. There is a hallway with booths and glory holes too. Lube and tissues are around.  

I went just to watch and touch. Most people do other things with multiple people,  it seems.  Lots of older guys. On some Thursday nights there would be a mix of guys. I realized it's not really my scene because I am too health cautious and it's hard to watch where most of the action takes place.  

I will check out the article later when I have time. It does seem I know a number of younger sons who are gay, but I also have known plenty of older and middle sons who are the gay ones. Plus, the number of children varies-- youngest of 3, 7, 6. Why was son 3 is one family gay but not son 3 in another?

Did anyone see"Marie Christine"? I am curious what your thoughts were. I have loved the cast recording for years and was recently thinking about the show. The cast recording is such an incredible journey, witnessing this couple plummeting toward doom. But I also know how deceptive a great cast album can be, hiding dramatic imperfections and storytelling sloppiness that sabotage shows on stage.  

In my younger years,  hearing Anthony Crivello as Dante . . . Wow. So incredibly sexy. It still is, though more "life" experience has watered down the effect. I have attached a few pictures of Crivello in the role for historic study.  

I think about this from time to time. It's one of the few (if only) great classical musicals that hasn't been revived in the last 35 years.  

My latest thinking has been Patina Miller as Mame and Leslie Kritzer or Kara Lindsay as Vera Charles.

20 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Yes. I have a good friend who is a film editor and the contraction of film and TV production due to the strikes and Marvel bubble are definitely impacting the entertainment industry. And then inflation is hitting us all, which means less disposable income. ☹️

The entertainment industry is still limping along since the strikes.  Work simply has not returned. 

1 hour ago, Hot4latin said:

Perhaps your provider thought it could be a sting operation?  Or a setup for a robbery?  Fact is, in a one-on-one situation, most people feel like they can fend for themself.  But add another unknown person and it can be rather intimidating.  BTW, welcome to the forum.

A fruend and I once went through a McDonald's drive-through in a sort of sketchy part of town at about 1:00 in the morning.  Between placing my order and arriving at the window,  I decided I wanted a shake.  When we pulled up,  I asked,  "Can I get one more thing?" The server's face eyes widdened, and his expression was saying,  "Oh, no." I quickly added,  "Can I get a chocolate shake?" to put him at ease. Clearly,  for three seconds, he thought I was going to rob him. I guess we can't understand someone else's perspective and their fears in all situations

Was the guy overreacting? Probably.  Should you have told him? Probably. But what can you do but apologize and communicate it to other providers? Your intentions were good. 

All the Wildhorn hate! I know his shows are often not great, but I would sit through "Bonnie & Clyde" repeatedly before going to a jukebox show (unless that jukebox show starred Corey Cott). I was just talking to someone recently about "Beautiful," which was ok, but I hardly remember it.  I have vivid memories of "Bonnie & Clyde," "The Civil War," and "The Scarlet Pimpernel." But I know his shows are flawed.  

I recently saw Simpson guest-starring in an old sitcom. It was a fresh reminder of what a waste of a life.  He had such talent,  looks, and opportunity.

11 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I mean, the safest place for this is a gay bath. 

Less safe (and sexual) would be k-spas, locker rooms, gyms, large sex segregated spas, nude beaches, etc.

I have explored watching through some bar backrooms and a few sex parties. It works, but you can't always get a good view. Plus, it would be nice to have better lighting. Lol. But these have worked in a pinch. I think it would be nice to watch a long-term couple in their own home, just watch as they do their normal thing. But, I've never been able to find that.

I think if I were to go to New York for a week, I would struggle to find enough shows to fill my dance card. I'm not that picky; give me a Frank WIldhorn musical anytime. But, the prevalence of movie photocopies and jukebox musicals is disheartening.

I wish there was an easy place to find exhibitionists so voyeurs could match up our needs. I would never expect an exhibitionist to want to have sex with me (which would be the expectation using an app like Scruff), but I'd sure love to provide the voyeur service for them.

Does he participate? I love visiting The Eagle when in NYC but only to watch.  

At the age of 40, I moved across country alone.  Being alone meant I had to confront the reality that I was gay. It wa either make a gay friends or be stone cold alone. Growing up in church,  I had been in denial,  despite secretly hooking up with guys since I was 32. For the last 5 years, I have had a partner,  with whom I moved in about 2 years ago.  I have told 3 people from my previous life. Most people in my new life do not know either. I feel like once I two someone,  it will leak into other parts of my life. 

My reasons for staying in the closet are my own.  First of all, because of my upbringing,  it is traumatic to come out. When I told one of my best friends of over 24 years,  I cried.  I knew she would be supportive,  but I cried.  Secondly,  it feels intensely personal.  To say you are gay is to identify as a sexual person and to bring your sex life into a conversation,  something that is against my generally shy, private nature. Thirdly,  I know there are people in my life who would be disappointed. All of my closest friends would not care,  except for one who harbors feelings for me and would be confused.  But I know there are people who respect me who would be disappointed (people from my various religious pasts). I have a very hard time disappointing people.  Fourthly, my partner is quite a bit older and doesn't discuss his sexuality with his family,  although they all know.  So, I have never met his family.  I feel like if my friends and family met him,  they may not support my choice. Since he is uncomfortable meeting my family, and I have never met his,  it works out.  Lastly, if my brother's ex-wife found out and told her wicked mother,  I worry she would try to make it difficult to see my nephew.

It is hard at times to stay closeted because you can't always fully explain your actions,  like why I don't like to see friends on Saturdays, which is usually when I spend time with my partner. My family can't understand why I don't move back home.  Truthfully,  I am dying to; I miss my family too much and miss my old life.  But I don't want to leave my partner. This is particularly hard because the industry I moved away to join,  frankly,  is miserable. 

Whether we are gay, bi, out, closeted,  in denial,  in denial and making bad decisions, I feel like we need to be kind and compassionate.  We are on this difficult journey of trying to live the life our bodies dictate, which has historically not been easy, and some people are on different stages of that journey. When I see people speaking publically against gays and then hear they are actually gay, I feel compassion for their miserable life and the regrets they will have to live with.  

I don't know that area specifically,  but I have heard the nearby stretch of Dillon between Palm Drive and 62 us unsafe at night.  I would not feel comfortable myself.  

In NYC, they seem to play shorter songs,  if my memory serves me.

3 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

I'm sure there's a reason why Matt isn't able to use the private house anymore and why the Burbank warehouse is the best he could find for now.......maybe the neighbors in that cul-de-sac just got tired of the monthly traffic jams and cars blocking the street??

Yes, I think we just need to be thankful he finds the spaces he can find. It can't be easy to find a place to have naked men walking around. I am sure Matt does his best to find the best spaces he can.