DrownedBoy

A bit expensive for live porn, I think, if they're already hooked.

I don't know if it means anything, but many of providers I've met have given me a variation of this. Hopefully they're just trying to keep their boyfriends under their hat, but I've met a provider who seemed unable to sustain a relationship. I know since he treated me like a free therapist.

Translation: Thanks for the money, sucker.

I thought the same when someone said this. "You look attractive compared to most of my clients."

This has got to be the funniest provider name I ever saw. I would have paid for the laugh if he hadn't already delivered the punchline.

Ditto, but even that can be troublesome, as I mentioned awhile ago in some other thread. Once, in response to a request for my stats, I gave them the relevant ones - height/weight/age/etc. - but I declined to give my race. He insisted and told me that if I didn't give my ethnicity, I should find another provider. I did.

Just a reminder from my OP - we do have a lot of studies (ethnographic) on this area, but only from the provider PoV. They make interesting reading. You can find a LOT of these on the Internet; I found these 2 the best: Surviving the Streets of New York: Experiences of LGBTQ Youth, YMSM, and YWSW Engaged in Survival Sex (urban.org) Chicago_0.pdf (innovatingjustice.org) The NYC study really delved into the issue of race. One brutally honest quote from an interview with a provider:

Nice alliteration.

Yup. Occasionally I turn it on if I want a client to notice I was looking at him. However, that's also led to me getting unsolicited and rude propositions.

I usually use Tor for this, but I can no longer access RM through them. Thanks @maninsoma for the advice on how I should use Chrome on Windows. I saw rates for American providers, but they were out of date.

I'm seeing younger clients do this....another reason I'm preferring, more and more, escorts who are at least 30 years old. A few months ago, I hired some kid and we agreed to his price. When the appointment time came, he started whining, like a little baby, that he "deserved to see a picture of the man he was meeting." I cancelled on the spot.

Only as long as you don't mind all the side effects from the treatment. And dealing with the fact that, no matter how much science says undetectable = safe, you'll still be a pariah to many potential partners.

Does anyone think that if escorting was legalized in the U.S., problems like this will go away, or at least be less of a factor?

Especially when combined with a lowering of income.

That's why I listed Latinos in the top tier...

You shouldn't. At least not according to what I've seen. I won't give exact numbers and names, but it seems like there's an unspoken racial hierarchy. Casually, I'd say, from highest to lowest: 1. Caucasian and light skinned Latino 2. Black and dark skinned Latno 3. Asian Obviously, there are many other races and factors that go into it (muscle, looks, skills, personality). But I'd challenge anyone to say that Asian men are treated nicely on Grindr. Likewise, from conversations with providers, this seems to be how it is in the Midwest (California and New York are foreign countries to me). In case anyone thinks I'm trying to start a fight, I will give another confession from my past. Every high school has a pecking order, and I remember the racial order at mine was: 1. Northern European/Asian (there were very few of the last, but they tended to attend honors courses) 2. Chicago ethics (Italian , Irish, etc.). 3. Latinos / Black (again, very few of the latter) 4. Recent Eastern European immigrants Again, there are exceptions (I fell into #2 but attended honors courses). But there it was. Italians and Mexicans were always getting into fights. Mexicans would cruelly administer "citizenship tests" to newly arrived Polish kids. A black guy got beaten up for dating a white girl from my own neighborhood. The Latin Kings were still a concern (this was pre-00s). Unfortunately, it seems few people grew out of their high school mindsets. That transcends gender or sexuality. But I'd like to know who else sees these patterns.

Absolutely not. You've never met the guy, and you're sure you can get along for a week? Do you know what the conditions are for the week, and how much you'll do together? I once booked the exact thing with a regular I had been seeing for 2 years - a week vacation, costing a bit more than an overnight, I pay all expenses. It ended after two days. By mutual agreement we ended the vacation early, went our separate ways, never spoke of the details to anyone, and we will never speak to each other again.

@Danny-Darko , that was very funny. Your impression of a racist moron was spot on, and I'm sure we've all heard such nitwits use the exact phrases you poke fun of here. As OP, I should clarify that I can't see any change in this behavior - I have no illusions about human nature. 5 minutes on Grindr shows that. @DWnyc I know you don't agree with the phrase "that’s the way it is," but there's sharp limits on what anyone here can do.

He has a habit of only advertising when he needs the money, which is always a red flag. And I know that, even years after he moved away, he never even bothered removing the word "Chicago " from his ad text. Doesn't seem that interested in escorting.

That's something I'd only discuss via PM.

Exactly. I keep those 2 separated very sharply. I had a regular who stayed well past the time I hired him for. I insisted on paying him extra to avoid any complications. Likewise, I make a point not to hire anyone for conversation. There are many intelligent, well read, and educated escorts, but for me, bonding over conversation is for friends, not escorts. In fact, 2 of my 3 regulars are ESL, and I find that more relaxing.

Agree very strongly. Talking about reality isn't condoning reality. But reality isn't nice, and it's wrong to just ignore reality when it makes us uncomfortable. Some memories came up while reading these posts. I grew up in a white, ethnic, working class Chicago neighborhood. By today's standards, you'd call the people I grew up with extremely racist. I mentioned having black providers who wanted more after we agreed to a price. I remember the exact words of one: at the last minute he said, "hey, can you make it [agreed rate plus 50]?" I immediately canceled. Now, I remember being warned against those exact words when I was younger, and I've been hearing versions of it my whole life. In my neighborhood, we had a phrase for that line, and that phrase included the n-word. Now, I've lived (and hired) long enough to know such behavior comes from people of all races. But if I hadn't escaped my neighborhood (and few did), I probably would believe those stereotypes.

Unless you're a shallow client like me, who's willing to pay extra if you look like a bodybuilder...

I've had several three ways, and all were cheaper than hiring 2 separate providers. In my case, either: The two providers specifically offered a discount if you hired both at once. Or: The provider had a friend who wasn't a regular provider, but needed some extra money. It's always worth asking if a provider has an "unlisted" friend he'd bring along. In my experience, the friend is always much cheaper.

Thanks for your honesty here. In several ethnographic studies of young male prostitutes in U.S. cities, many providers admitted they avoided black clients because they were "cheap" or too demanding. Racism goes both ways, although in this case, due to economic stereotypes. @DWnyc point of order. If either client or provider haggles over prices "after making an appointment," it's not "haggling." It's "a violation of a verbal contract." And to me, that means instant cancellation. EDIT: And @Simon Suraci I admit I'm seeing other patterns now thanks to your input. On several occasions, I've had a provider haggle with me after we agreed to a price. All of them were black. I see where these stereotypes come from.