Midwest_Man

Dude claiming to have contacted me today for just an inquiry 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

 
Then later he’s talking about: 
 

 
Meanwhile, I’m being made out to seem like I’m crazy despite what others saying 🤦🏾‍♂️ 
 

 
I’m just at a point, I’m tired of this shit. I don’t have time for childish, insincere, indecisive, inconsiderate, uncooperative, unreliable…list goes on.
 
To make it so bad, this person actually booked me ONCE before. So it’s like, he should already know the drill. Why not just ask me out like a NORMAL FUCKING PERSON and book a session, or say: hey Jarrod I am coming to xxx and want to book for xxx date.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus 🤦🏾‍♂️ take the wheel. I am going back to charging $10-$20 to be contacted for “inquiries” again, effective tonight. I’ve wasted my time 3 times already in the last 24 hours dealing with nonsense like this. Some of these clients out here think we are a free conversation piece and expect us to sit around and wait for them to make decisions with no sort of commitment. As if I have nothing better to do with my life, than to wait on them to “possibly” get back to me. 
 
This is another reason I can’t wait to get out of my current market (full of flaky, indecisive dudes who love to harass escorts as free entertainment and MIGHT book IF and only IF they get to waste your time a few times over a course of a couple years, and have the patience of a saint to not go off or block them 🤦🏾‍♂️ , but I find this is a big American issue almost everywhere. I’m also writing a letter to rentmen and RentMasseur asking if they can start charging clients to contact/get our number. So when it happens, you can thank me later 🎤 ✌A deposit isn’t enough. These people need to go thru 3rd party or pay before reaching us. The ease of them to bullshit and play games is way out of control. 

I agree.

To clarify, it’s ok to have boundaries. We shouldn’t be doormats. When a client flakes, I don’t book them again. At the same time, I have no need to spend emotional energy going out of my way to make them feel bad for flaking. If it helps you emotionally to vent, by all means, call them out. They don’t care though, and calling them out won’t change their behavior. Some clients are shitty, and will be shitty no matter what.
You mention your website and deposits and such. Great. I have policies and ways of doing business too, and it does cut down on a lot of nonsense. Even when we have policies in place to weed out some of the worst offenders, we can’t possibly prevent them all. I accept that fact and move on. To dwell on clients being shitty is a “me” problem.
I can’t force clients to change their behavior.

I still stand by my decision to require deposits, despite what may have been shared here. I also have a hard time believing someone who says they’ve never been asked for a deposit. I’m sorry, no offense, but unless someone is only contacting a certain type of provider…I just can’t see it. You can’t tell me you’ve asked a provider to come see you from an hour or 2, maybe even: visiting from halfway around the country away: and not been asked a deposit. I don’t believe it. If so: just say you’ve never asked to see a provider further than a few blocks away or, one who wasn’t ALREADY in attendance or visiting wherever you may have also been in attendance.
I know this topic been discussed to death, but I never get tired of talking about it though. I’m still willing to defend deposits as much as needed, even if I don’t need to. I’m also willing to accept exceptions: considering last week I did take 2 bookings without a deposit, however one was an outcall to a clients hotel very close to where I was staying, and the other ran into me in person after having prior seen my ad.
I have even heard clients tell me they don’t do deposits, but then later learn they have a cash app or Venmo account. And have even later paid be thru that method.
If the business ever moves into official Decrim, and/or if things continue online: I highly believe deposits would become the norm. I’ve already made deposits part of my website, there’s not much stopping other sites like RentM from making that a feature, and simply branding it as “pay for a pornstar”. So, don’t be surprised…if it ever happens. 
My thing is: for every person who talks about deposits, I rarely ever see a legitimate reason why one can’t. I’ve know people send deposits by all means: cash in mail (in fact a former member of this forum even offered to do so with me, but at the time: things were “different” and I told him I would settle upon arrival), other means are western Union, Moneygram, cash app, Venmo, etc etc. 
If someone is going to pay for something, what difference does it make whether they pay a portion ahead anyway? And then, some people expect to do the deed and pay afterwards. By the time you do all that, you basically got the person for free, and can pull a gun out on them and tell them to get the fuck out…technically. What’s stopping you from doing that. Morals?
 
Okay…so all clients have morals is what you’re saying, including the ones who no show, or fake appointment requests? Only to not respond and then do the same shit two years later, only to not respond again, do the same shit again the next year, and the next year, and the year after?  🤷🏾‍♂️ 
People need to get to a better mindset in this industry. So many people equate asking for any money upfront as a scam, or a sign of the provider not having money, etc etc. Time out for that. It’s a bit selfish and condescending to make as if the provider should shoulder all the initial responsibility of getting to/providing a place to host. Someone is going to end up alone or in a worse predicament.
Case in point: one of the clients I seen the other day, paid a couple guys. I don’t think they asked for deposits: but his story was, he paid one guy $1,000 for the night and only got 2 hours before the guy got “tired”.  He ended up booking with me later on. 
 
Overall: The big issue is, clients in 2023 and even particularly in some areas: have become more flakier than ever. Unless a provider works only from home, doesn’t travel or do Outcalls and possibly has another stream of revenue: deposit may not be needed. Or, if you’re in a city or neighborhood where things are relatively within close range…It may also not be required.
 
But not every escort has the same situation. Like for me, I often have to travel to the next city or state, FEW STATES away to see clients. I would be foolish to do that without at least mentioning deposits. If when I arrive I have the luxury to be flexible, I won’t. But I also feel it’s fair to require the same standards from all clients, and even hosting a client without asking a deposit: has caused issues for me; guys who pretend they are showing up around noon, and then I book the room an extra night and they don’t show, or people who show up with no/less money than agreed. Even have had walk outs and no pay after offering services.
The provider is always in the position of carrying the heavier burden, than the client. Even if you stand the chance to lose $50-$100: the provider can be losing $150-$300 per session for every flaky client. Just like for me last month, I counted up about $2,000 in fraudulent bookings, from clients who requested appointments but failed to follow thru. I hope each one gets the karma they deserve…

Just like people have to accept that some clients will never send a deposit. There. Question answered by supply and demand once again.

Yeah it's amazing people view paying upfront for a legal service or product from a national corporation differently than paying an anonymous person upfront on the internet for an arguably illegal service.  But you just keep doing what you're doing as it sees to be working out great for you.

I don't hate on sex workers and hire regularly.  I just don't pay deposits like a vast majority of the people on this site. You refuse to recognize that and just to continue to blame everybody and everything else for your problems.  And if spending 3 days in a major metropolitan area with no clients is working out for your then I'm happy for you.

Yeah it's amazing people view paying upfront for a legal service or product from a national corporation differently than paying an anonymous person upfront on the internet for an arguably illegal service.  But you just keep doing what you're doing as it sees to be working out great for you.

Thanks for the uplifting words. I know it’s hard to navigate the scammers, and someone new may be reluctant. But that’s why I give options when I can. I will sometimes say: instead of deposit, I can consider etc etc instead. We’ve already seen that, you don’t even HAVE to do a deposit, and still get scammed.
I just don’t like that there’s people cruising the sites, who try to put up a fight about deposits: or the word @Vin_Marco used: an honorarium. In my case, a nominal honorarium for basic upfront costs that I have to spend out of pocket. Whether that’s $100 on hotel or $20 for gas.
 
Uber does it
Lyft does it
Amazon does it
AMC movie theaters does it
Apple does it
RentMen themselves do it! They charge us upfront, before even guaranteeing we’ll ever get a client. No escort site allow us to post, and then pay out of proceeds of clients, unless it’s just a free site all together.
All these places and companies charge something before receiving material or service. I don’t care how many times someone has been scammed. If it wasn’t by me, it’s a non factor. Seekers must stop with the nonsense about making it seem they’re so horrified and shocked 😯 that an escort asks something upfront before meeting and/or travel. It’s not a hookup/dating app. Amazon is not delivering Tarzan before payment.

Or maybe they’re just annoyed by providers lurking on sites that have clear guidelines on that, who pull a bait and switch and may make them feel like they’ve been lied to, manipulated, their time wasted etc.
Think of it like the equivalent of people you think could be clients hitting you up, going back and forth on your offering and then saying “surprise! I’m going to treat you like an unpaid hookup post” 
And to preempt - and also think of it like - if you reply that many timewasters do actually treat you exactly like that … the response is “if you have to keep saying that maybe you should be just posting on hookup sites for free interaction”

I prefer morning appointments so I tend to book those.  However, I've been stood-up/disappointed by visiting providers several times when booking morning appointments.  It turns out they were visiting for pride or some other event/party and and either slept through the appointment or were too tired or hungover to provide a good performance.  Even though those types of events tend to attract a lot of visiting providers I've learned to either book them later in the day or skip them altogether.

I prefer morning appointments so I tend to book those.  However, I've been stood-up/disappointed by visiting providers several times when booking morning appointments.  It turns out they were visiting for pride or some other event/party and and either slept through the appointment or were too tired or hungover to provide a good performance.  Even though those types of events tend to attract a lot of visiting providers I've learned to either book them later in the day or skip them altogether.

And I have done certain things to make solutions accordingly. But to insinuate a set of solutions is immediately attainable per one’s circumstances, is a bit assumptive. Just like the article above I stated: change the pity to empathy.
 
But if that’s how you feel, then that’s on you. You don’t have to understand, you already said you could never be an escort and prefer to stick with massage. That’s great. But I don’t think that could be used as a “solution” on a site that’s called “company of men”. 
 
So if you’re going to get snappy and start being condescending towards me, you can leave too. Here’s the door 🚪 and please don’t wish me best of luck if you don’t really mean it. The whole point of this thread is addressing passive aggressiveness, and you’re epitomizing that by leaving off with that, after you just insulted me. Don’t ✋🏾 

Very good advice.  I understand his frustrations, but he keeps doing the same thing with these loser prospects and expecting a different result.  Time wasters are time wasters.  Cheap bastards are cheap bastards. You need to use screening questions to identify them and get rid of them.   My favorites, in my business, are the ones who ask,"Why does it cost so much?"  I used to reason with them like Jarrod does, but a long time ago I realized I don't owe them an explanation and learned to anwer them "Because it does.  Anything else?" And then get off the phone.

Yes.
You've been telling us that for years.
When are you retiring and finally solving this problem ?
 

I saw him earlier this year when I was visiting St. Pete.   Decent rubdown/massage followed by generous extras.

A reminder of free market economics. 
nothing stopping you from going on strike if you feel so strongly, and maybe invite other providers to join you.
Look forward to your reporting back how that’s going for you. 

With everyone in Hollywood doing their walk outs, I wonder how that would look for us?
I personally feel it’s time. I have emailed to RentMen and RentMasseur, and Adam4Adam (I know, not the greatest for trying to find clients…But there’s still some gems on occasion) my suggestions, but nothing ever seems to get done. I feel we as advertisers need to stop accepting whatever is defaulted and stand up. This isn’t directly an assault towards RM, but they are controlling the ship…and the ship has hit an 🏔️ 🚢 and is filling with water. 
What would a strike benefit? Here’s some changes I would
#1: allow paying escorts to access a private portal of reported clients that we can report (this doesn’t have to compromise client confidentiality). The current “app” for doing this, I find isn’t know by providers in smaller markets. Plus they charge a fee, so some people probably don’t use it as much. It’s also kinda glitchy and vague. We need something like what men4rent offered, before the RB raid scared them into shutting down. I have seen a website offer this option, as explained here.

 
#2: rates need to be reinstated, plainly. Not hidden somewhere. it’s no reason I need to be arguing and fussing and low balling with clients who don’t know my rates before contacting. It should show when the click our number. It also doesn’t need to be in reference to sex, simply: the cost to host you, the cost to travel to you. Period. Nothing else implied .
#3: No more free private gallery/videos. They need to pay for extra content
#4: Cut the “available now” to “available today. Nobody is ever available now unless you’re at a bath house or nudist beach. Unless: a person is indoors for 2 days straight, not stepping out at all and can maintain that consistently: it’s most likely not possible. But I go ahead and put “available now” anyway because I am “available today”.
#5: Educate clients with a simple pop up, showing them a brief tutorial how to book. They should be informed; an escort may ask for your name. Your age, location. Basic details about yourself. Don’t make them have to fish it from you. Too many buffoons hit me up not wanting to share anything about themselves, thinking I’m just going to go to them or open my door to a complete ghost with no info. 
#6: anything else someone can add…should be promoted.
What would a strike look like?
Taking down our numbers, disabling email contact. Let them stare and be unable to book until change is made. Let them know: I am temporarily unavailable while we come up with a better way for providers and clients to establish boundaries on the rentmen platform 🪧 
I know it’s not as simple as that but, even just acknowledging these things and discussing it with RM could make a difference.
 
 

Well I beg to differ on the “be able to host at any moment”. That’s just not realistic. And clients have to understand, when you’re dealing with providers online, it’s likely not realistic in every scenario.
Think of it this way: it’s not so much a problem that I am not willing to host. But, it’s just common courtesy to ask. Find out what is going on in that person’s situation.
And I know clients aren’t dumb. Many seem to play dumb for reasons I can’t fathom. If I were to flip the tables, which I always end up doing: 99.9% of clients would never, ever, hardly ever ever ever…ever ever ever…ever ever ever…
 
…Be able to host on a moments notice. Even when I sent out my “hey I’m in town/available” message to clients who CAN host, Most always have reason about family, dog, work, neighbor, alien visit, etc etc and are never ready to host. They say: “next time give me a little more notice.”
 
So do we not deserve the same consideration? Yes. I know that goes against stereotypes and expectations. But like someone said: it’s not always to be assumed 24/7 written in stone that hosting is going to be readily available at all times, just because my ad is up.
 
that’s true but, there’s a difference between paid client wanting fulfillment, and selfish inconsiderate clients who want to barge into someone’s private location at the last minute. Not saying this guy did that, but many do. And my blocked client list is chock FULL of numbers who had no decency or respect to book a session, instead of texting, “U avail now, to host?” Then they either don’t show up, or flake, or some other crap which is the reason I don’t like to gamble on hosting in the first place.
 
That’s a good start. In fact, just yesterday I had a client who booked a 4 star hotel for us, even let me arrive early to freshen up and workout while he handled his affairs of the day. It was…everything done right for once this month 😂 
 
originally I was going to host him, but he  settled on hotel instead…It was very convenient because whenever I get a hotel to host in my home town, I stay there myself for the night. Which often means foregoing any plans at home I may need to catch up on. 
 
In this case, I was able to take care of errands in downtown and do outcall to his hotel, then head home at night. And the next day, got to work on projects. 

I’m not going to elaborate on my situation and why hosting isn’t necessarily always available 24/7, 365 days a year, like a red light district. But as I said above: it’s more to it.
It’s not about NOT having funds to have a place. It’s moreso: I’m not going to be spending money recklessly if I’m in a different area, if I can instead save until I have a serious inquiry. Or at the very least: even if I’m not booking a room for 1 client, the industry has a way of going good or going slow all at once.
If I’m having more than 1 or 2 clients booking steadily, I know I’m in a good flow. But if it’s just dead, and I booked a room the past couple days and nobody hasn’t even reached out to me by noon on day 3: I’m not going to keep throwing more money away on a hotel. I’m going to reach out to friends and see if I can be a guest.
Those guys who be waiting around for clients and hosting, be scamming them half the time. I know for a fact because I hear it from my new clients all the time. And I seen these guys personally do it. They go to the “available now” guy who’s hosting, right now, and get ripped off. Because they couldn’t tell a Dick from their ass, metaphorically speaking lol. 
 

And when I was in San Francisco last year: I hosted the entire Thursday thru Tuesday I stayed there. But I only had clients come to my hotel ONE DAY: that was Sunday. But Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday were either outcalls or nobody showed up serious. In fact Saturday night, I was out with friends and slept in Berkeley, and had to call my hotel to charge my card because I wasn’t going to be back before checkout time 😂 
Funny now but, looking back that was a waste of money. I should only have to spend on hotels as needed…granted: I don’t like to stay with people or feel obligated to stay with friends. I honestly hate that. I like my privacy, cleanliness and independence AND…The ability to see clients.
The only reason I wasn’t able to in the original post: it was Nashville: it’s overpriced for hotels and business there is trash 🚮. The scene has become flooded with sex workers in the past years and it’s no longer a market to expect steady business flow.
Exactly, communication is key. Not: assumption is key ☝

That does not apply to every day, week or city. And: just to be clear, I DID offer to meet this client on an incall BUT…
#1: He didn’t want to send deposit
#2: He wanted to be on my standby list, which is basically IF another client books me and I’m already hosting
#3: When I tried to offer to meet him, I did inform him the motel wouldn’t be upscale because the prices and availability in the area, he got an attitude and said he “wasn’t comfortable”. That’s when I said…well you’re welcome to get a room, if that’s the case. I didn’t post that text…
And then when I informed id be able to host in a better area because the availability of rooms changed a couple days later, he was busy/didn’t reply back.
So…I’m just like fuck the bullshit games. Nobody, especially me, has time for that.

Bingo! 

Jarrod.
You do nothing but complain about your business.
Lots of people have read your long posts and tried to offer suggestions to your many gripes.
I am just one of them. But it seems you don't want answers. You just need to vent and keep repeating the same problems and never adjusting your approach. I'm sure plenty of other members agree.
The "comprehending" and "listening" are advice you may (or may not) take for yourself. People are trying to help you but you don't hear anything because you always get defensive instead of listening and learning.
No one is attacking you, so you should lower your armor for a minute and think about the things people are saying more carefully.
Best of luck.

It's called the escort business.
Your problems are borne in the fact that people here are telling how to improve your business model but instead of thanking us your tell us we are all wrong and then you continue to complain you don't have enough business.  
Rather a vicious cycle you're creating for yourself. 
If twenty people say you're a horse every day... then maybe you should at least consider buying a saddle instead of insisting you're a dolphin. 

agree.  Within a specific industry w established norms, there is only so much someone can do re; changing those established norms to suit the providers wishes.
Deposits, as an example, are not accepted norm.  And while a provider may have dozens of valid reasons for deposits, it doesn’t change the fact that most clients will simply move on to someone that doesn’t require a deposit.
I’ve hired literally hundreds of providers over 30 years and never paid a deposit.  Ive never flaked on a provider, so maybe I’m an outlier.
I’m not suggesting a providers reasons for deposits are invalid - just that it likely turns a lot of prospective clients off that may very well be good clients. Reducing the potential pool of clients certainly comes with an opportunity cost. 
 
 

No it’s not. That issue of deposits has loaded into it a host of other factors such as disclosure of the clients identity and prepayment for service that may not end up being delivered as promised or at all with no recourse, and plenty of clients have horror stories of provider bad behavior on these issues. 
 
You just described the typical American open house. Happens all the time, my friend. Its not a question of if I like it or not; it’s a recognized part of the sales process. 
You use the word “respect” quite a lot. If you really find this process disrespectful (and capitalism can seem that way, depending on how one fares out of it), there are likely ways you can take more control. If you’re really not prepared to have a discussion on price (though now you’ve now more than once said you basically are …), and are particularly sensitive to the issue of your rates being available and people needing to see that material before contacting you, how about then starting with “before we discuss anything further I’d like to confirm you’ve been on my website and are comfortable on the pricing there. Are you?”. If they say no, and that’s a problem for you, and the disrespect you feel outweighs a salesperson’s instinct for any meaningful net revenue that may arise, end the conversation there and then. The time spent would be less than venting and reliving the experience to this degree.

The Google street view shows an interesting van parked in front of the Spa.  Also if you rotate the view in the link below and follow the arrows into the Spa you can tour the inside as well and see the steam room, showers, etc. 
https://www.google.com/maps/@34.1731694,-118.3702009,3a,75y,280.46h,70.44t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sAF1QipMk3ttcaagH-HrzWZgxufxa6xhMoNs6VJ76KC0t!2e10!3e11!7i7424!8i3712