ApexNomad

I’d be curious to understand then his definition of BFE.

Much love and happiness to you both!

I completely agree with you about the importance of maintaining boundaries to keep the experience enjoyable, professional, and uncomplicated—I’ve emphasized this several times throughout the thread. Where we might differ (which is fine of course) is on going into a paid encounter with the mindset that the provider is “out of your league.” I believe this mindset can impact your confidence in the time shared together, possibly making you feel inhibited or less desirable in the moment. I think that kills the mood. My advice is simply: don’t go there. Focus on enjoying the experience WITHIN that window and having fun. As I’ve previously mentioned, flattery outside that window can blur intentions and, depending on the context, feel ambiguous or even patronizing.

Fair enough! Sounds like you know exactly what works for you and what doesn’t.

I’m old enough to know that none of us really knows where we stand in someone else’s eyes. Thinking you’re “out of someone’s league” only sets you up to feel less than, even when the reality could be totally different. Going back to the original poster (and I’m paraphrasing here), the poster saw himself as an average, unassuming guy who hires providers he thinks are out of his league just for the experience. But then he found out the provider genuinely enjoyed his company and thought he was a catch. So what good did that self-doubt do him? None. Confidence isn’t about settling—it’s about realizing your worth and lettinf that show. Not arrogance, but confidence. Going in with that mindset changes the entire experience—for you and the person you’re with. And I’m also old enough to know that I’d never presume I could get anyone for free—more power to you!

You’re nice! I’ve never felt the need to spell it out like that with a provider—I just assume overall hygiene is a given and will be obvious within minutes of meeting. I don’t text my prospective tops my bottoming routine. One thing I do when we meet—sometimes they beat me to it—is extend my hand, then go in for a hug with a smile. While we’re in that hug, I’ll put both hands on their biceps, look them in the eye, hold, and say something like, “I’m really happy you’re here.” It’s face-to-face, so we’ll both catch each other’s breath, get a hint of their scent, and just feel the vibe overall.

Or until McDonald’s stops serving E. coli?

Why not just walk over to the theater and have a private conversation? It’s literally right next door! Why spill this into the public, especially when she’s not speaking on behalf of the producers or cast?

I’m friendly and social with a couple of regulars too, so I understand how much context matters. Based on previous threads, I believe you’re married? Comments like, “You’re really cute; I would definitely talk to you if you approached me” after a paid encounter can land very differently for a single gay man than they might for a married one. Context is everything. Maintaining these boundaries is what keeps things enjoyable, professional, and uncomplicated.

Human beings are human beings, and the context of our interactions matters significantly. In the realm of professional services, including those provided by escorts, the nature of the relationship is distinct and requires clear boundaries to ensure mutual respect and safety. Just as I wouldn’t expect my doctor—who I am friendly and social with—to blur the lines of our professional relationship by implying, suggesting, or confusing personal interest, the same principle applies to providers. When the provider sweet talks me WITHIN our time together, saying things like, “you’re so fucking hot! Just look at you! I want you. I want you. I wanna be inside you so bad. Show me them eyes when I go inside you. You’re mine and no one else’s!” or when it’s more tender and he places his hand on my face and enters me, “You’re so beautiful. I want you to know that. You feel that? This is what you do to me,” that’s awesome, my toes curl, and it’s great and understood WITHIN our shared moment. Never for a moment do I believe those feelings exist outside that time. It’s the talent of a very skilled provider that makes me enjoy the fantasy. Just like I enjoy the fantasy when my barber cuts my hair and makes me think I’m George Clooney. However, if such comments were to be said OUTSIDE our shared moment (“you’re hot; I want you,” etc.), then we have a problem. Those kinds of remarks would confuse the dynamic and cross a line that I believe should remain clear.

It IS a mind game—and that’s precisely my issue. A truly skilled, respectful provider doesn’t need to imply personal interest or play games. They know how to create an unforgettable experience without crossing emotional boundaries or undermining the client’s trust. Those who do use these kinds of comments or exercise these tactics aren’t being professional—it just makes them douchebags.

A good provider knows how to create the ultimate fantasy, tapping into their client’s desires and emotions in a way that’s deeply fulfilling, personal and utterly unique. But above all, that time together should be a SAFE space. In large part, that’s what you’re paying for! When a provider crosses into comments like the ones in Harlow’s post, it disrupts that safety—period!! They go beyond the fantasy and leave the client questioning the boundaries of their relationship. Compliments shrouded in hypotheticals AFTER an ESTABLISHED client-provider PAID experience do absolutely nothing for the client. They’re patronizing, at best. A professional understands the importance of boundaries—and crossing them is not just unprofessional, it’s damaging.

In a paid, established client-provider relationship, the KEY difference lies in context and intent: sweet talking flatters and entertains without breaching professional boundaries, thereby maintaining the integrity of the dynamic. However, comments implying hypothetical personal interest completely undermine the professionalism expected of the provider and compromise the established boundaries.

I don’t see how this compliment is meant to uplift me; it’s based on hypotheticals, not reality. The idea that I should take his words as validation to approach other hot men—simply because he’s attractive—feels patronizing and overlooks the complexities of my own experiences.

I understand what you’re saying, and I’m sure it was a honest opinion. However, I think it’s incumbent on the provider, as the professional, to keep those “inner voice” comments to themselves. Saying something like that really does nothing for the client—except maybe offer a sense of false hope that the dynamic could change. And in this case, the comment is particularly odd, since we were already intimate. Should I feel flattered that you might have talked to me if we’d met under different circumstances, when, in reality, we’ll never know because this was a professional, paid encounter? The “further” may be in my mind, but ONLY because he brought up a hypothetical scenario that has no bearing on an established client-provider relationship—unless he was actually suggesting that something could be different.

It will be higher. He wants to buy a house, remember? You may get two out of your three prerequisites. He doesn’t mention he’s into kissing (which is why straight providers are a no for me - you can act but not that good), and he doesn’t mention BFE. If that’s important to you, I would ask about that. Focus seems more on him, than the client. Good luck.

I understand what you’re saying; however, I would find it condescending and disingenuous to hear a provider say, “You’re really cute; I would definitely talk to you if you approached me.” Oh, okay, then how about we talk tomorrow night for free? Let’s see what they come back with. My advice is to try not to go into these situations thinking you’re out of someone’s league. In my opinion, it’s a dangerous mindset to get into. Why go there? Maybe YOU are out of his league! But it doesn’t matter!! Treat the encounter as a NEED-BASED transaction, not a relationship. Regarding your other point about a provider who liked you enough to blow up your phone every time they were horny—let’s be clear: he doesn’t like YOU so much as he LIKES YOU PAYING HIM. But it sounds like you understood that.

From his RM page: “The One they all want But only you get. SUNDAY” Huh? I can only get you on a Sunday? 🤔 His overnights are 8-6, so that’s 10 hours - he leaves at 6am. Hope you’re an early riser. He’s straight and wants to be spoiled. From my experience, never a good sign when a top has to say that. Bottoms (good ones) will spoil you, and tops (good ones) will do the same. According to his OF, he charges $50 per month. Translation: expect high rates for his time.

For me, it boils down to: 1. Current Photos: I really appreciate seeing up-to-date photos. If you say you’re hairy, don’t show me old photos of a smooth body. (I don’t mind either way, but transparency is key.) Attention to detail between the ad copy and photos speaks volumes. And photos standing in front of a toilet? Please no. 2. Answer the Category Fields: I find it frustrating when providers use “Ask Me” in category boxes like orientation, position, and safe/BB. Just state your preferences directly! This clarity helps potential clients understand what you offer, prevents assumptions and saves time. 3. Expectations for First-Time Clients: It’s helpful when providers specify what they expect from NEW clients. Whether it’s out-call only, photo a must, or phone chat, clearly stating this upfront saves everyone time and aids decision-making. 4. A Sense of Humor: While not essential, a little humor in the ad copy can go a long way. It adds personality and makes the ad feel more inviting. That said, humor is subjective, so it’s not a dealbreaker. 5. Clear Purpose: I appreciate when providers express a clear sense of purpose in their offerings. For example, saying something like, “I’m a caring top who derives pleasure from seeing you pleased. Mild to wild, I’m thoughtful and sincere in creating a safe space for you,” gives me a better sense of the type of person I’m contacting.

The original Broadway staging was truly breathtaking. The moment the scrim lifted, it received its own round of applause—you were instantly transported into the world of the show. It was simply beautiful. But I also appreciated the modern and contemporary feel of the revival. It worked for me in a different way. Producers likely appreciate it too, since it saves money, and we’ll likely never see anything quite like the original set again on Broadway. And no one can hold a candle to Betty. I had the pleasure of meeting her, and she was the nicest person!

That was very kind of you. 😂 Legally speaking, even in public spaces where there is no expectation of privacy, individuals engaging in intimate activities have not given permission for others to observe them. This means that while someone might technically be allowed to watch in a public area, doing so could still be considered an invasion of privacy or harassment, depending on the circumstances.

Sounds like a walk, not run to see play. I love when the material is able to stand on its own, not because of the actors in them. (It helps, but that’s my preference.)

Thanks, l’ll go find that thread.